r/adhdwomen • u/ravensarefree • 18d ago
General Question/Discussion Is anyone else constantly having fake conversations?
This is kind of embarrassing to even write about, but since I was little, I've been having fake conversations, whether it's pretending I'm being interviewed, pretending I'm in a show, or just having one-sided convos with friends. IDK, I know it's not real, but I'm constantly talking - even if they're in my head, I'm making facial expressions and gesturing. I think it's related to hyperactivity? It lowkey makes me feel crazy, but I don't think it's bad or anything. Anyone else?
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u/sc2tog 18d ago
All the effing time 😂 it’s embarrassing when I’m around someone and some of the words accidentally come out of my mouth lol
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u/SyzygyTooms 18d ago
Haha yes! I was once showering with my wife and I was standing in the corner having an imaginary conversation while waiting for my turn under the faucet. From my wife’s perspective, I was whispering in the corner like the Blair Witch or something 🤣
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u/AtmosphereNom ADHD-PI 18d ago
Haha! 😂 Well at that point you may as well have the full conversation out loud, really.
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u/IBAMAMAX7 18d ago
I'll have half the convo with my bf in my head because I know what he is gonna say anyway, so when I start speaking in the middle, he gets so confused.
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u/Schweather3 18d ago
Oh yeah, I do that too. I usually look at him and he lets me know I’ve had the first half of this conversation alone lol
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u/IBAMAMAX7 18d ago
Yes! I'm like, keep up, we had this half of the convo already, come on🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/Shanndel 18d ago
Oh my man does this to me. He will have half the conversation in his head, and then be like "what do you think of what he did"? And I'm like "who is this "he" you refer to"?
I think I might do this too, but know for sure he does.
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u/Rosentia 18d ago
This is legitimately a nightmare I have had on multiple occasions. 😱
Woken up in a cold sweat so embarrassed for NOTHING
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u/Ymisoqt420 18d ago
I never have accidental words but I'll make. A fac and hand gestures a D then be like. 👀 Hope no one saw my imaginary convo here lol
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u/Local_Error_404 ADHD-C 18d ago
Then you catch somebody looking at you weird, so you put your fingers to your ear and pretend to adjust your earrbud so maybe they will just think you are on the phone 😅
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u/PeriwinklePiccolo876 18d ago
Yep, literally constantly. I hate when my teen walks into the room and I'm mouthing the conversation instead of keeping it in my head. They know I'm weird as hell, though, and also talk myself through things out loud, haha (next thing I need to do when cooking, cleaning, etc).
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u/ladywiththelittledog 18d ago
Have definitely accidentally made dramatic facial expressions from my imaginary conversation too, which probably looks real crazy
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u/MisMelou 18d ago
Eeesshhhh what I find worse is when I’m doing it silently and someone can tell because of the gesturing and the facial expressions that I’m having a whole ass argument in my head.
OP - you’re def not crazy, but in my experience this stops me from being present and doesn’t help my anxiety. I tell myself “stop having potential, hypothetical future conversation’s”. You’ll end up stealing time from yourself stuck in the endless loop. Mindfulness is hard, but helps. :)
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u/FocusedIntention 18d ago
😂 this so embarrassingly true and the older I get the less cognitive aware I become so I’m just out in the world having these imaginary convos haha
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u/RepresentativeSun399 18d ago
that happened at work today and thesse two kids we’re playing and lolkijg like i had 100 heads😭😂
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u/separate_lie 18d ago
My guy caught me having a whole conversation with the kitchen towels as I put them away, recently. Been together 14 years, and I'd managed to 'hide' that part of me til that moment. He just got this look of 'ye gods, I love my crazy lady' and asked if I was winning the argument.
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u/ravensarefree 18d ago
That's so cute <3 Did you win the argument though?
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u/separate_lie 18d ago
Yes, I did. The towels stayed in their respective piles and the good towels managed to play nice with the floor towels.
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u/labia_menorah_ 18d ago
Would you be willing to talk to mine? They behave well enough in the kitchen drawer but when they’re in the linen cabinet they are monsters. I’ve tried every angle they refuse to listen to me. Maybe they’ll listen to you.
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u/Independent-Pilot751 18d ago
uuuh I love having conversations with objects. Sometimes I apologise, other times I have full-blown arguments with them.
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u/ScoutySquirrel 18d ago
my husband and i celebrated an anniversary recently, and i told him some cute little things that i love about him. in turn, he told me that he loves how i talk to inanimate objects. then he said "i love it when you apologize to the forks or say thank you to Space Bear" and i just…like i know that i say this stuff out loud, but i genuinely didn't think he could hear me for some reason?!?! 😳
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u/Happy_Confection90 18d ago
Well, you have to apologize when you trip over or bump into something, and a lot of us are clumsy, so it happens fairly frequently.
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u/No-Hospital-5819 18d ago
I love this! He’s a keeper for sure ain’t he?! My husband would probably look at me and and say “….ooooookay….”
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u/separate_lie 18d ago
Do you know why he is a keeper? Because he lets me just be weird and doesn't comment on how weird it is. I lost my self-consciousness with him. I can carefully make sure the two halves of the English muffin line up to factory settings and know he'll just grin. My ex, is my ex for this exact reason. DITCH THE PARTNER WHO MAKES FUN OF YOU, LADIES.
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u/opisgirl ADHD-C 18d ago
Almost 2 years into my current relationship and I try to do this with my bf (who I suspect is autistic). He makes me feel very secure in my silliness and I always find his quirks very cute. He’s a noisemaker and sometimes gets irritated when I ask him “what’s going on”. he’s like “I just make noises! Just let me make my little noises” and I always have to be like “oh ok good just checking!” 🤣 we both have our own methods and routines and I can’t imagine how odd we’ll act around each other when we move in together someday.
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u/EvilMimiWV 18d ago
My husband "purrs." I love it. He was reading a hunting magazine and purring. I've called it hunter porn since then.
I had a concussion that totally threw out my ADHD filter. ALL the things in my head came out of my mouth. I was cooking and narrating as I went, and just whatever goofy thing popped in my head. He came in and stood with me a minute, just listening and shaking his head. We've embraced each other's quirkiness.
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u/Chemical_Ad9069 18d ago
🫠😩I end up outsmarting myself half the time...even when I imaginary argue round 2 or 3. OTOH, it's great prep when I have to have an unwanted discussion; I have a few answers at the ready. 🥸👍
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u/SunshineDucky 18d ago
Lmaooo I have slapped a name tag on my printer at work because I verbally argue with it (“Eustace Scrub”) all the time. 😂 😅
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u/Final_Weekend_1614 18d ago
Yes, I've done this all my life! Finding out that others don't do this is one of the things which led me to wonder about an ADHD diagnosis, because for me it is entirely natural, constant, and unstoppable. All of my hyperactivity is mental; I barely fidget. Honestly, I don't mind it that much anymore. It's part of me!
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u/jerseyknits 18d ago
"all of my hyperactivity is mental" is exactly why I didn't bother attempting a diagnosis as an adult
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u/Gekkamaru_Nightshade 18d ago
i literally had no idea other people don’t do this on a daily basis until this post lmao 😭
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u/VoltHoldemort 17d ago
Same here. I'm constantly having discussions in my head. With colleagues or my bf or whoever. Medication made it less though which is nice. I just got diagnosed 3 weeks ago at 42 yo.
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u/haberdasherhero 18d ago
You barely fidget? Not even with your tongue on your teeth? Not even by flexing your tongue? Not even with special blinks that (even though they are not more frequent) squeeze different? Not even by moving your toes? Not even with different breaths? Not even by focusing your eyes? Not even by tensing your body's various sphincters?
Weird
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u/Local_Error_404 ADHD-C 18d ago
I think many adults with ADHD probably underestimate how much they actually do fidget. While I was thinking about getting assessed, one of the things I decided to do was to leave my camera recording on my PC and see how often I got up or fidgeted. I knew I got up a fair amount, but I though I usually sat pretty still normally. Turns out, I was very very wrong 😅. I got up way more than I thought, and the ENTIRE time I was sitting, I was moving something 🤦♀️
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u/GerardDiedOfFlu 18d ago
Gently chittering my teeth is a subtle constant. I’m a literal squirrel.
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u/haberdasherhero 18d ago
Left tooth, right tooth, two tooth, between, tooth tooth, slidey teeth, pushy teeth, rolling teeth, rhythm teeth, clicky teeth, clunky teeth, look how well I sit still and pay attention!
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u/remirixjones 18d ago
Why is this so goddamn relatable?!
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u/haberdasherhero 18d ago
The violence inherent in the colonialist school system?
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u/remirixjones 18d ago
I fear I may have misunderstood something...
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u/haberdasherhero 18d ago edited 18d ago
I was making a serious/joke about how we fidget in ways unseen because the schools force us to be still.
Edit: as for violence, even if you weren't beat or belittled, sitting still in a chair is a stress posture, but like a woman who's feet were bound from a young age, one we are used to and accept.
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u/janerbabi 18d ago
This + toe wiggles (only in closed toe shoes! lol) are how I got through the majority of my appointments growing up fully masked. 🥲
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u/PadawanPineapple 18d ago
I honestly thought I've been stimming all these years, i recently found out i have adhd though I've always assumed it was autism. It's still totally possible i have both but i am starting to recognize more of my "quirks" as adhd traits. I've rotated through different oral fixations for as long as i can remember but i never thought of them to be one of my fidgets=P and actually the last several years since like the pandemic I've been tensing my muscles like crazy when no one can see me. It started with my face and mouth of course but quickly turned into a whole body thing. I was always a fidgety kid who couldn't sit in one position for very long, but i guess i never correlated the two things?
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u/quietink 18d ago
::left butt, right butt, left butt, right butt::
::twitch your fingers like you’re typing all the things you are hoping you are only saying silently::
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u/haberdasherhero 18d ago
::left butt, right butt, left butt, right butt::
😂 Real
::twitch your fingers like you’re typing all the things you are hoping you are only saying silently::
OMG, tapping fingers or teeth to the silent narration. I can't believe how spot-on this is. This is so specific, and can't be learned from observation. We all really are on rails aren't we.
I'm almost never actually talking accidentally when I do it. What I have to worry about is making the facial expressions and hand gestures, silently looking like a crazy person.
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u/sunsetredditor 18d ago
I do some kind of peaceful fidget: tapping each finger separately, twisting my rings, or clicking pens - but I stopped doing that as often because I learned it annoys people.
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u/Shipwrecking_siren 17d ago
“Various sphincters” had me cackling.
I am a therapist and I have a small coffee table between me and my client and I tap my toe where they can’t see all damn day. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Sometimes I’ll play with my hands or my ring but if I can see they’ve clocked it I go back to tapping.
Virtual therapy is great for adhd therapists because in the screen I’m still but below the screen it’s a party town of wiggling.
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u/Chocobook_ ADHD & hypersensitive 18d ago
I thought all my hyperactivity was mental too until I realized that fidgeting actually relieved my brain from some activity (especially if the thoughts are unpleasant) so sometimes I fidget on purpose !
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u/littlemissredtoes 18d ago
I used to “fidget” as a kid - jiggling my leg was my main one - but got harshly trained out of it because it was unacceptable for the long boring hours spent sitting in church. I turned to daydreaming instead 😂
I have now realised the reason I like crochet/knitting is because it gives me something repetitive to do with my hands - the adult socially acceptable version of self soothing my hyperactive brain.
It also allows me to hyper focus on something that people understand and accept.
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u/Yo_momma_so_fat77 18d ago
Jesus Christ . I’m 41 and just found this out. So I’m not a complete weirdo 😂. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30 but the meds make me a zombie.
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u/BackgroundP 18d ago
Same. Same. Same. I’m 41, found out at 30, hate the meds. In my case I’m in a constant musical movie 😫 but no one knows the choreography 😂my hubby of 20 years is so used to me bursting into song and dance at the most inappropriate moments. He just laughs and joins me… sometimes 😅
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u/PadawanPineapple 18d ago
A musical! This explains my life and personality so much! 😂 My mom unintentionally taught me to sing the things I'm doing or thinking from a pretty young age. Also i love musicals.. If I'm about to see one live, it's over. Singing and dancing for days both before and after the party, out loud or in my head. Last week it was all Abba cause i got to see a high school version of Mamma Mia. My poor boyfriend haha. Everything can and should be a song, but also i don't need music to dance if that makes sense? Thanks for making me feel less crazy. Silly is almost always best but i rarely show how far that side goes to others outside of my partner
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u/missfitz_310 18d ago
Yes!! I had no idea this was NOT a normal thing! I was like, 'What the hell do neurotypical people have going on up there all day, just....quiet?'
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u/BergamotZest 18d ago
I relate to this so much!! I once asked my husband what he thought about in the shower and he said ‘nothing’, to which I thought he was joking. Then preceded a conversation where I was like ‘no, really though, what?’ – same answer. And then me being stunned that was possible because I have never not had thoughts in my head in my life, I don’t know how it’s possible to empty it! (but it sounds like a nice calm place to be for a while!)
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u/CurlSquirrel String Cheese Evangelist 17d ago
Same I was never the kid that couldn't sit still, but I was always still doing multiple things while sitting quietly. I literally wrote an essay that won a writing contest in high school about how my favorite "place" is my own mind because I can replay movies and books or explore fictional worlds. Still didn't get diagnosed until after college.
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u/cloudstrifewife AuDHD 18d ago
Allll the time. I have fake arguments. Fake conversations. Fake one sided conversations where I’m just talking to a pretend person and they’re listening. I’m crazy. 🤣
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u/No-Hospital-5819 18d ago
Those arguments are intense and so are the emotions that kinda come out during them!
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u/electric-sushi 18d ago
I always fake argue with my husband in the shower and then come out wet and furious.
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u/No-Hospital-5819 18d ago
Hahahahah I did too. Currently I’m arguing with my in laws, sister in law and mother in law. It’s actually a hyperfixation that’s led to some ruminating right now 😞
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u/Shanndel 18d ago
Oh yes, I've absolutely cried from a pretend conversation. The pretend person often comforts me.
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u/Nice2BeNice1312 18d ago
I love fake arguments!!! You get the dopamine and adrenaline from it but you dont damage relationships with loved ones in the process!
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u/DragonQueen18 18d ago
Fake conversations/arguments/etc with fictional characters from books, movies, and tv shows are my thing... Currently having the Doctor (different regens depending), Sam & Dean Winchester, and Rings of Power.
Sometimes they all show up at once, sometimes it's one group at a time.
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u/cloudstrifewife AuDHD 18d ago
lol mine is band members of my favorite bands. We talk about music and concerts and all sorts of shit.
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u/DragonQueen18 18d ago
I also have an Internal monologue that is just me explaining myself (CONSTANTLY) to an auditorium full of very nosey people (like you would do in a college presentation or something). That's the annoying one because the others I can restart from scratch if I feel the need but this one is Always On and Impossible to End.
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u/packedsuitcase 18d ago
Alllllll the time. Always. Sometimes I wonder what my neighbours must think but then I start having a conversation with them in my head to explain and….yeah.
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u/weresubwoofer 18d ago
Yup, giving imaginary interviews. Practicing imaginary debates. Writing books in my head…
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u/itsbirthdaybitch 18d ago
Omg YES!! I’m always recounting some interesting and very detailed story from my life to an imaginary interviewer. Only when I’m alone of course. When my dog catches me doing it she barks at me which I think is hilarious. I think it may qualify her as a service dog lol
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u/PolarLove 18d ago
Yes I also have a way overactive imagination and daydream a lot. Everytime I do my makeup I do fake tutorials 😂
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u/Playful_Attempt_822 18d ago
Yes absolutely! I don’t get people who don’t do that. I pause podcasts when in my car to comment on them elaborately on my way to work and I just hope that people who see me think I’m on the phone.
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u/ThunderofHipHippos 18d ago
How will the people on TV know how I feel unless I pause their conversation to let them know?
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u/gabbers912 18d ago
Same with the makeup tutorials, plus getting ready for the day and the night routine! I’m filming a “get ready with me” in my head, it makes it so much less boring!
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u/xtrachubbykoala 18d ago
Omg. I didn’t even think of this being related to ADHD…
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u/yours_truly_1976 18d ago
Oh yeah, hyperactivity in the brain
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u/xtrachubbykoala 18d ago
Mind blown. No wonder I didn’t have these conversations when I was on meds.
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u/Far-Tea-9647 18d ago
My mind is blown too! I just thought I was weird and accepted it. I have never heard anyone else talk about this! I'm an just like 🤯 right now
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u/Atarlie 18d ago
This post & comments are so validating, I do this constantly and while I've never been caught (so never been made to feel embarrassed by someone else) I am just generally embarrassed by it. Especially that I'm gesturing/making expressions even though the "conversation" is in my head.
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u/de_grey 18d ago
Yep! Maladaptive daydreaming and scripting since forever.
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u/Mimi4Stotch 18d ago
😳 there’s a name for it?! “Mal + adaptive” makes me think of bad coping??
Haha super masking!
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u/de_grey 18d ago
Basically escaping reality in favor of our daydreams.
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u/9thStreet_Woman 18d ago
Wow. I used to do this CONSTANTLY as a kid and even well into adulthood. How I wish I had known that I might have been able to do something else…though I also quite liked my daydream world…
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u/Puzzled-Fix-8838 18d ago
Yes! I'm 55 and still doing it! There's no harm in it, and it's pretty fun as long as you know it's just imaginary!
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u/Hungry-Crow-9226 18d ago
Oh my god I've done this my entire life! Thank you for helping me not feel cray
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u/KeeperMom29 18d ago
In my head, thankfully, but sometimes my face is loud about it.
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u/bi_lemon 18d ago
My face has gotten a lot louder since working from home. And I honestly don’t know how to censor my facial expressions anymore.
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u/hushuk-me 18d ago
Yes! All the time when I’m alone, I narrate my actions too lol. Also, I’m very non confrontational, and if someone gets under my skin, I tend to not be able to let it go until I literally talk it out with myself and it doesn’t matter who is around (so if I’m aware enough of it I will step away). Happened yesterday, I couldn’t think of anything but how this person wronged me, until I finally settled on “they’re just a bully”
Every comment or text I write gets a little monologue mostly in my head before sending/posting, but also out loud!
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u/lucent_blue_moon 18d ago
Just yesterday I was mentally explaining some quirk of language to an imaginary English learner...
("Purposely" means "on purpose," while "purposefully" means "with purpose." For some reason I found that interesting enough to "talk" about it to myself for a few minutes)
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u/avvocadhoe 18d ago
Hahahahah explaining things for absolutely no reason to absolutely nobody……A favorite past time of mine
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u/BlueColoredKarma 18d ago
It's me! I'm not a native speaker and I didn't know this. So rest assured, it is not an imaginary conversation anymore lol
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u/PadawanPineapple 18d ago
Oh man I totally do this same thing!! I wish i could think of an example off the top of my head, but i am constantly explaining those miniscule kinds of things to no one in particular in my thoughts
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u/Pizzaputabagelonit 18d ago
I do it. With musicals, “what-if” scenarios, fine tuning jokes, all the time.
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u/janglebo36 18d ago
Omg I do the musicals too 😂 Sometimes a talk it out or think it out, but other times I sing it out. I thought I was crazy. Didn’t realize it’s an adhd thing!
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u/SeeStephSay ADHD-PI 18d ago
OMG I think of the BEST jokes in the shower!!!
Of course, I usually forget about them entirely by the time I get out!
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u/SpaceBabeFromPluto 18d ago
This is what I spend 90% of my showers doing
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u/dontfindme42 18d ago
This is why my showers are 45 minutes long
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u/Ok_Order1333 18d ago
Mine are long cause I can’t transition out…it was a lot of effort to get in there too
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u/littlemissredtoes 18d ago
Oh my god. So much effort!
And then ALL the things must be cleaned (often including the shower) and in a certain order or it all gets mucked up.
I sometimes go a week without showering just using wet wipes on the stinky areas if I go out because facing a shower is too overwhelming.
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u/SolarSundae 18d ago
What is it with the shower? Why do all the imaginary people / scenarios need to work themselves out in there?
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u/Little_Tired13 18d ago
My guess would be that you are doing a repetitive task with no real thought behind it because it’s something you do regularly the same way every time. So your mind finds a way to occupy itself.
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u/evillittlekitten 18d ago
Yup. Constantly. Ranges from reliving past conversations and saying what I should have said, to hypothetical confrontations to whatever it is I'm doing right now, to chatting with my imaginary shrink, to telling myself jokes, to pretending I'm hosting a show.
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u/autisticbulldozer AuDHD 18d ago
all day every day and sometimes my husband accidentally sees it and i try to play it off bc it’s embarrassing 😂😂
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u/HumanNr3 18d ago
when I watch interviews with people that are in whatever movie/show/youtube channel I'm currently into I will sometimes stop the video and answer the questions myself in my head or if I'm alone out loud as if I was sitting there with them
I am also very non-confrontational so will make imaginary arguments about stuff to friends or family in my head in the way I wish I was able to do it irl
glad to hear I'm not crazy lol
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u/Excellent-Ad4256 18d ago
What are people even thinking about if they don’t do this??
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u/Odd-Theme-4690 18d ago
Lol that’s what i’m wondering. I mean is it actually ADHD thing? Then what do non-adhd people have in their mind when they’re alone??
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u/GerardDiedOfFlu 18d ago
My husband said nothing. His mind sits there blank. He’s practiced living in the moment so I wonder if that had to do with it.
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u/Sharp_Intention_8320 18d ago
ALL the time 😂 even worse when you get caught doing it
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u/ravensarefree 18d ago
YUP. My mom calls me out on my facial expressions sometimes. Sorry, I'm just bored and self-inserting into the Barbie Movie!
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u/kathyanne38 ADHD-PI 18d ago
Ever since I was young!!! There are times I will start to stim to an extreme point: think crackhead lol. and I will be like "KATHY!! Stop it!" and i say "sorry" in response 😂
I accidentally did this out loud a few weeks ago at the store. I think i overheard a person in the next aisle over say "wtf???" 😭😭😭😭
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u/HyperventilatingDeer 18d ago
Hahaha. I talk myself through grocery shopping all the time. Usually silently but I’m mouthing the words. Giving myself instructions about what to get and where to go next. I had an experience recently where I said some of it out loud recently, still quietly, but I nearly ran into some turning into the aisle as I did it and their eyes were like 😳😳😳. It was something like, “go get milk” “ok, right, I’ll get the milk”. They looked freaked to not see a second person with me.
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u/shea1881 18d ago
Absolutely, 100% all the time!!! I’m SOOOO happy that other people do this and that someone else was brave enough to post about it! Thank you!!
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u/Whooptidooh 18d ago
Yep; all the time.
Do you also tell yourself to stfu when you’re tired of the constant yapping?
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u/juliuspepperwood0608 18d ago
Always. Either conversations that haven’t happened yet that could happen or that I want to happen, or conversations I’ve already had that I ruminate over and try to figure out what would’ve been better to say. And I do it out loud a lot of the time as well, or at least mouth the words. I do it at home, in the car, and even at work or in the grocery store. Combined with my repetitive body focused movements that I do no matter who is around, I must seem pretty strange to people who don’t know me.
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u/EconomicsStatus254 18d ago
Is this an ADHD thing? I am newly diagnosed 50F and I was just having a job interview in my head.
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u/Kreativecolors 18d ago
I mean, when I need advice, I ask the smartest person I know, me. And it’s often out loud and my kids are like, who are you talking to??
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u/cheese-waffles 18d ago
This thread is such a safe space 😭 girl I create music videos featuring myself to different songs, pretend I’m in a movie, pretend that someone can see through my eyes but doesn’t know who I am so they look for clues in my life to figure it out, all in my head. If you’re crazy than I definitely am too lol
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u/BadArtisGoodArt 18d ago
Hahahaha!
I trained myself at 14 (I am 56 now) to not move my lips and keep it all inside my head because people would look at me strangely or ask why I was moving my lips. If I am home, it's mostly out loud. I can also claim that I am talking to our cats, if my husband should ask. After 20 years of my craziness, he rarely inquires about anything I'm doing anymore. Lol
I don't believe I have ever NOT done this. It is sooo nice to hear others talk about having fantasy conversations and debates, too.
This quirk also has a dark side for me. For example, say my husband is late getting home from work, I am off to the races in my head with any and all kinds of negative reasons he isnt home. The convos with law enforcement, the children, friends, etc. Then, when he does walk in, there I am, a complete emotional trainwreck. lol
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u/MunchiToast 18d ago
ALLL the fkn time but like inside my head 😂 but I will mouth things sometimes or gesture or use my hands or make exaggerated expressions and I’m constantly watching myself in public so people don’t think I’m crazy. My dad is like that too except he will actually talk out loud. My favorite thing to do is to take a long walk with my AirPods in and imagine whatever I want in my head.
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u/commmoncrowww 18d ago
All the time 🥲 I’ve actually started doing voice memos to myself as a form of Journaling. I found that having a conversation with myself…almost acts as body doubling with someone on the phone and I’m able to complete tasks a bit easier!
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u/cassafrass-cosplay AuDHD Journey 18d ago
Always did, still do. Anyone who has been in my house while I am cooking has been subjected to my cooking show.
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u/phantom_pupil21 ADHD 18d ago
I FEEL SO SEEN HAHA I do this all the time!!! Even me pretending to win an award, the most classic 🤣 This also made me want to go into theater acting, but unfortunately life happened and I didn’t end up in that career lol
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u/Mimi4Stotch 18d ago
Ooh my goodness! I’m always winning an award, or ending up on some show/movie tv set (even though it has nothing to do with my actual life or job). I’m good at giving some star life changing advice, being the Jack of all trades, saving the day with my sewing skills when the costume department needs help 😂😂😂 it’s so ridiculous, but I have fun in my head.
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u/Leading-Summer-4724 18d ago
Haha yes, it’s one of the reasons I hate being on Zoom camera for company meetings, because I’ll start to daydream and have conversations in my head, and my expressions start to follow suit. Since they’re usually arguments in my head, if I don’t concentrate hard enough it looks like I have “animated bitch face” rather than just the resting version. It is so hard trying to remain face-neutral or smiling (but not too smiling like Joker).
Ugh I thought I was nuts for so long, but found out this is common for people that have ADHD as we tend to repeatedly rehearse discussions we either already had or expect to have.
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u/SolarSundae 18d ago
I'm sorry, I laughed so hard at animated bitch face! As someone with rbf and rb-voice, this would be a nightmare for me. I am now paranoid that I am doing the animated version too omg lol
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u/Leading-Summer-4724 18d ago
The horrible part was I had no clue that I did this until I started watching myself on Zoom during company-wide meetings that were an hour long. I’m not sure how long I’ve done this for, but that would explain the weird looks I used to get on the city bus.
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u/wonder_bread_factory 18d ago
not only do I have fake conversations but I create entire fake scenarios in which I carry out the fake convos and then come back to them later like it's actually important
I be like ... "let's finish this conversation in the morning when I've cooled off" ... and it's just me having the conversation with myself
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u/SeeStephSay ADHD-PI 18d ago edited 18d ago
The shower is my favorite place to pretend that I made different choices and am living a different life. Sometimes I role-play out loud like I’m a singer, or I go over conversations I need/want to have with people out loud. It’s really fun when it’s just me being silly and imagining a different life, and it’s really helpful when I think through all the different ways a conversation can go.
I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this to anyone before, lol.
Although, my also-ADHD son and I recorded ourselves doing a very silly-serious podcast-style taste testing of applesauce at one point.
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u/BlacksmithSad3583 18d ago
Yes! Since I was a child!! Pretending to be interviewd or vlogging and narrating my thoughts and opinions!
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u/sherlocksmaster 18d ago
Yeeeesss. & sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I’m deep into it and realize I’m getting frustrated in the convo or dramatically moving my hands around. One thing I enjoyed about the Covid era (wearing masks in public) was that I could talk to myself while I was shopping etc and no one would be able to prove it was me 😂
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u/livrightnow_ 18d ago
OMG I didn't realize this was an ADHD thing. I've done this my whole life and got called out on it a lot when I was a kid because I was bad at controlling it in public. I've gotten better at hiding it so people don't stare at me but I do it all the time when I'm alone in the car
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u/papierrose 18d ago
Constantly! Even as I’m typing this. I had an imaginary fight with my boss last night. I’m always so much more assertive in fake conversations. And yes, I’ve always imagined being interviewed 😂. Glad I’m not the only one. Recently I’ve wondered if it could be related to masking (e.g. a form of rehearsal) but your hyperactivity theory makes sense especially as someone who was not encouraged to have a voice when I was younger
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u/New_Girl_4D 18d ago
Oh my god yeessss!! I always blamed it on being an imaginative “theatre kid” since the age of 3. Now I’m 32 and I was hoping I would grow out of it… But I legit feel like I’m crazy sometimes, so it makes me feel more human when I see posts like this. I’ve definitely had more than a few embarrassing moments over the years😂😅
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u/Coolaphrodite 18d ago
Yesss all the time. Some call that "maladaptive daydreaming" or whatever. I call it a hidden screenplay writer genius who deserves an Oscar for directing AND starring in their own masterpieces...
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u/dangerousfeather 18d ago
My whole damn life.
I thought I was crazy for a while, but then a childhood memory resurfaced of my (neurodivergent) dad coming home from a walk and my mom asking, "Who were you arguing with?" She could tell by the look on his face that he'd gone out to walk off some steam while holding an argument with someone in his head. Guess I know who I got it from!
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u/Snorri19 18d ago
haha, I'm doing it right now.
The expressions for real. My daughter is like Mom, wtf are you doing?
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u/toucanbutter 18d ago
Yes - the best part is when I make myself angry or sad because of arguments I have in my head.
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u/ilovjedi ADHD-PI 18d ago edited 18d ago
My dog and I have lots of conversations. I totally and just doing the talking for both of us. And what my dog says is just totally in my head. ETA My neighbors hear me telling him that it’s not polite to sniff butts in human culture all the time and that we have to go back in because it’s cold and I don’t have a fur coat. ETAA I also do this with my baby who babies but doesn’t have many words yet.
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u/phae6813 18d ago
Yep! It's conversations I wish I had with friends, partners, bosses, someone I wish I would have told off if only I could have thought of that witty comeback 2 hours ago. I sometimes have related facial expressions too. When my husband catches me making those faces, I just tell him I was just thinking about something. I mean, it's the truth, right?
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u/Particular-Exam-558 18d ago
All the time! If its something i have to work out or really think about then i find it easier as a conversation. That easier with someone i know (especially if my issue is with them) but sometimes, if my imagination has made it a stranger, then its usually an interview as to how or why i came to that conclusion.
I also have a person/figure off to my left hand corner. Thats the one i look at when i want to roll my eyes, or pull a face. Lol
ADHD makes stuff interesting
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u/two4six0won 18d ago
Always talking to people in my head lol. I don't show it outwardly, though it's entirely plausible that I did as a kid and it was punished as fidgeting.
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u/Centrilobular 18d ago
LOL I find it helpful. I will speak out my emotions and follow it with tough advice that I would tell someone else if they were coming to me for that issue. 😂
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u/Mango_Skittles 18d ago
ALL THE TIME. I totally get in a trance with it sometimes too and make the facial expressions or even start talking out loud without meaning to. 😅
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u/AdorablePumpkin_ 18d ago
There’s boyfriend ASMR videos on YouTube exactly like this. They have one-sided arguments with themselves but if you listen to it, you can respond out loud so it’s like you’re actually having an argument
I used to do this while doing chores. It was really entertaining because I felt like a book character and I also had to try to predict where the conversation was going 😂
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u/dandelionlemon 18d ago
I do this alllll the time! And I've never really known whether it's "normal" or not! If I am home alone, I talk out loud my side of the conversation, then I wait silently while the response happens, then I talk again. I know it's not really too though!
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u/asalyers 18d ago
My husband has joked for years that I’m “friends” with all of the things in our house. I talk to them. Apologize to them when I crash into them. Move them around and ask if they are happier there lol
Also, I talk to crows. Conversations. They talk back. But in a Walmart parking lot, a couple got a good slice of a convo a few months back. They looked rather unnerved. Ooops.
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u/Celticamuse13 18d ago
I’m just thankful I live in the countryside and rarely encounter other people. Went out for a walk today and pretended I was being interviewed for a magazine, then did dialogue for the characters in my novel out loud in different accents.
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u/I_Dream_Of_Oranges 18d ago
Yuuuuuup. I used to pretend I was hosting my own cooking show every time I started chopping vegetables. I have imaginary arguments all the time. I talk to myself constantly. And yes it’s definitely embarrassing when someone catches you in the act lol 😆
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u/goldenkiwicompote 18d ago
All the time! Wow never told anyone this and it’s really nice to see this post and how many people do the same. I feel way less weird about it.
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u/Freckledimple74 18d ago
My husband and I were both ADHD and both had "those" conversations. So, I've just always thought it was normal 🤔
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u/Critical-Adeptness-1 18d ago
Guilty 😂 goes well with the maladaptive daydreaming and the vocal tics. People have no idea how “busy” I am when no one’s listening
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u/copyrighther ADHD 18d ago
All day, every day. Sometimes my husband catches me mouthing words mid-invisible convo and I have to pretend like I was singing a song.
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u/closetnice 18d ago
I absolutely LOVE empty trails in nature because then I can walk AND talk to myself. Major processing getting done.
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u/kyl_r You don’t get to know the poop, babe 18d ago
It’s truly amazing to find out the weird shit I have done my whole life is so relatable, and it’s always this community! Lol I was having one of these in my head at work like 2 days ago and at one point it got annoying so I said out loud “you know what, it’s whatever” and even with zero context, the (also ADHD) woman who sits next to me was like “I feel that” 😂
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u/itslike_reallygood 18d ago
Lmao yes. Constantly. It’s basically how I self soothe I guess. I will repeat the same conversation in different ways too depending if I’m imagining a scenario in my head that could actually happen to me. When I was younger tho I did a LOT of fake talk shows with myself lol.
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u/Independent-Pilot751 18d ago
You're not alone. I talk to myself out loud all the time. Like to a point I forget I can't do that in public. It's wild to me when people say they don't do that or don't have narrating voices
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u/uniqueusername987655 18d ago edited 18d ago
I felt less crazy about it when my boyfriend pocket dialed me and I heard him talking, but I knew he was out in the shed by the driveway alone. He was having a fake conversation with someone about parking in our driveway in spite of the "residents only violators will be towed" signs. It made me laugh, but I totally understood because I do this all the time.
Sometimes I go over a conversation I wish had gone differently or rehearse how I hope a future conversation will go. I usually don't feel heard when I talk to people, so I think it reflects my need to be heard and understood. Sometimes it's also because I need to vocalize some feelings that I can't really tell other people about- especially when I'm depressed and feel like I don't want to be here anymore, but I don't want people worrying about me or thinking I'm attention-seeking.
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u/beep72 18d ago
Honestly, I think it’s akin to self-body-doubling or practising. Talking about what we’re doing or why, pretending we’re teaching someone how to do it (I guess the tutorial on line is just the new version of that?) makes it easier to get things done. It’s how us old, undiagnosed folk learned to cope?
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u/UVRaveFairy 18d ago
Maybe some maladaptive day dreaming, or related?
Been working on this one, the idea that I don't need to explain things, even too myself and the thoughts pan out differently, still happens.
There is little doubt we heavily future load up and coming events in our lives not in a fashion that NT do.
Part of that is our survival mechanisms and is with out a doubt "working as intended".
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u/Usuallyinmygarden 18d ago
Ha! I do feel seen. I loved masks (despite hating the feeling) because I could carry on with my weird conversations without people noticing.
Yes, I do this ALL the time. My brain is the busiest place on earth when I’m un medicated.
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u/Times-New-WHOA_man 18d ago
Always. 5 decades of it. But I find conversations difficult and have auditory processing issues. To me, it’s brain training. Practicing situations and potential interactions so that I can be more confident and an effective communicator. I think it’s incredibly helpful and healthy. (And am I ever grateful for the excuse of handsfree phone technology so I can chat with myself in the car! No one looks at me like I’m crazy anymore! Lol!)
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u/becka-uk 18d ago
Always, I have my assessment in a couple of weeks, I have no idea what to expect, but I think I've covered everything in my fake conversations.
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u/Granny_knows_best 18d ago
All my life, pretty much all day. When I was little I spent a lot of time alone, I would pretend to be in a documentary of my life and narrative my every move.
Now I just talk as if someone were there.
<should I go this way? Yes, why not, ohh look at that, focus focus, ohh I need to do that, hay wait, we forgot to do this.>
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