r/adhdwomen • u/AromaticSun6312 • 20h ago
General Question/Discussion Whoever commented “anything worth doing is worth doing half ass”
Earlier this year I read a comment here in this sub saying “anything worth doing is worth doing half ass” & whoever commented that thank you! I been having a hard year & my executive function has not been great. I’ve started back working out & have been consistent-ish for about a month. Yesterday I skipped the gym & wanted to today but told myself you have to do SOMETHING. So I did a bare minimum workout & when I did my daily walk I had a long average time but I got it over with so it’s a win in my book
I’ve been applying this to a lot of aspects of my life because typically if something doesn’t go as planned or I can’t make it perfect I just give up all together but lately I just tell my self even the barest amount is better than nothing & give it (whatever it is at the time) my least lol
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u/Mission_Range_5620 20h ago
I remember that post too and really started taking it to heart and I’ve significantly improved my teeth brushing habits through it
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u/denisebuttrey 18h ago
There is, or was a Professor at San Diego State College named Dr. Natasha Josefowitz. In the 1990s, I was a member of Women in Management. She would speak at our conferences. She also wrote little books of poetry. The poem of hers that I posted was "Not everything worth doing, is worth doing well". I'm not sure if this is what OP is referring to, but this little ditty certainly changed my world. Read more about Dr. Natasha Josefowitz
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u/Mission_Range_5620 18h ago
I’m assuming it must’ve stemmed from that because it’s definitely the same sentiment, but I do remember it worded like the title and somehow that felt fitting for me lol
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u/InnocentShaitaan 6h ago
I’m obsessed with not forgetting to brush my teeth because I love the sensation of clean teeth. I know that’s not the norm….Dude you’re saving yourself so much money down the road!
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u/HumanNr104222135862 20h ago
Yes, YES!! I’m so with you!! I also heard “half-assing is better than no-assing” from someone on here a few years ago, and it’s such a simple phrase, but it has really helped me get past my brain’s perfectionism/all-or-nothing mentality. I love it so much.
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u/Sea_Elderberry_524 16h ago
So, done is better than perfect?
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u/AdChemical1663 10h ago
Yup. Or a vigorous attempt is just as good.
It took me three shots to empty the dishwasher yesterday. But I did the utensils while I waited for the coffee maker.
And I came back for bowls and plates when I was ready for breakfast.
And the rest of it got done when I was ready to load the dishes.
And if I’d tried to hardline myself and do it all at once, I’d have a full dishwasher and a full sink this morning. Which would suck.
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u/SamEyeAm2020 AuDHD 18h ago
Same! That phrase doesn't make sense but that's the one that sticks in my brain and IT WORKS so it can stay
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u/spudmcloughlin 6h ago
i say this all the time when it comes to my homework, I always get paralysis when starting or when I get stuck writing something. i just start jotting words from my head and it helps a lot
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u/hamRX 19h ago
I'm a huge fan of half assing! But I will say in my experience, as an ADHD woman, my half-assing is a lot of neurotypical people's whole-assing, and I think that's just a very consistent thing within the women with ADHD demographic.
It seems counterintuitive or contrary or whatever but I think the combination of women being pushed from a young age to be people-pleasing, the lack of diagnosis at a younger age, the vast interests we all have, and the weird off brand perfectionism usually present in one way or another actually makes us super fucking good at getting things done, adaptive, and fantastic under pressure.
All I'm saying is never stop half assing, but sometimes really, really look at what you're accomplishing and understand what you're doing is not just okay as someone with ADHD but probably fucking awesome across the board.
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u/AromaticSun6312 18h ago
This is so kind & so true & I needed to hear. My half assing had me graduate with HS with an A average & college with a B average—both undiagnosed & unmedicated. I just commented on another post here about how I mourn the version of me I could have been in school if I had both of those things.
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u/hamRX 18h ago
I mean to have the kind of mental fortitude to accomplish grades like that while undiagnosed and unmedicated is wild! I think the biggest downside to ADHD is that we're so goddamn hard on ourselves. Next time you have the wind taken out of your sails you should list off your accomplishments and give yourself a lil golf clap or a chef's kiss
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u/GumdropGlimmer 15h ago
YES! 🙌🏻 I know my 50% is most people’s 100% KEEP HALF-ASSING LADIES! I love this for us.
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 19h ago
I know I'm not the only one but I'm prepared to take credit anyway! I love seeing more people strategically half ass things. I'm about to vacuum a tenth of my house tonight.
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u/CollectionWinter284 19h ago
Getting a robot vacuum has been a game changer! I can even schedule it to run… it’s so nice to have clean floors w/o any effort.
I never would have thought about buying one bcuz of the price, and was gifted one. Spotless floors give me a weight off my shoulders! Just something to consider that I’ve found helpful 💚
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 15h ago
I will consider it. I always forget t they're an option until I see somebody's cat riding on one
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u/snoozles9 ADHD-C 19h ago
I use a variation of this phrase (“good enough is good enough”) for when I’m stressing about university papers and it helps! Usually my “good enough” is actually good but I struggle with perfectionism and anxiety and ADHD
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u/hotsoupcoldsandwich 11h ago
Mine is “anything worth doing is worth doing partially” cause it also makes me giggle. I think I read it here a couple years ago!
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u/Shoddy_shed 19h ago
Yes! I also have chronic Migraine which can leave me feeling kind of hung over afterward. Paired with task avoidance, it can be really hard to keep making progress on life tasks. So I tell myself, "Do It Weird!"
Need to fold laundry but standing up makes you wanna curl up and die? No problem, slurm off the bed and sort clothes on the floor with your sunglasses on.
We got this!
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u/SamEyeAm2020 AuDHD 18h ago
"slurm" is an amazing description of the max effort I'm capable of giving during and after a migraine 🤣 It's really impressive that a slug can fold laundry! Who cares if she's on the floor, that's a slug folding laundry!
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u/strippersandcocaine 19h ago
I’ve significantly improved my household cleaning habits with this mindset! But not my bedroom, that’s a lost cause.
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 19h ago
If you can't half ass it, quarter ass it. I bet there's one cup you can carry into the kitchen next time you go.
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u/strippersandcocaine 19h ago
It’s clothes and shoes that are the problem. I HATE putting the clothes away after they’re folded or put on hangers so I just have piles of folded or stacked clothes. And my 4 year old loves to wear my shoes so they’re never put back correctly so now it’s a big shoe pile. I can get my shit together like once a week to organize but it only lasts a few days.
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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 19h ago
I sympathize, I also hate putting clothes away. It sounds like you're doing pretty good. It's hard to do that stuff when you have little ones. I hope you find a way to get it how you want, but aren't too hard on yourself while getting there.
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u/catcontentcurator 19h ago
I sometimes watch a show while I’m doing tasks like this, you already did the hard work of folding the clothes so put them away while you’re entertained by something more fun
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u/jenet-zayquah 17h ago
Don't forget the pile of neatly stacked clothes that immediately goes to shit in a few days when you're running late and can't find a specific shirt you want to wear or whatever, and you find yourself frantically digging through the pile of folded laundry (usually never locating the shirt you were after in the first place), only to end up being late anyway, only now you are wearing a shirt you hate because it makes you feel fat and every time you adjust it, you are reminded of the big pile of clean laundry waiting for you at home that you now will have to refold yet again because you are failing at life LOL.
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u/strippersandcocaine 7h ago
Ok you’re gonna need to take your camera out of my bedroom 🤣
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u/jenet-zayquah 4h ago
Bedroom? I thought I set it up in the living room next to the sofa. You know, with a nice clear view of the TV. 🫣
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u/jenet-zayquah 4h ago
Obviously this is where all teetering stacks of thrice-folded laundry belong. Duh.
Look at the way you're living your life. Strippers, cocaine, and now folded laundry in your bedroom?? Tsk tsk.
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u/strippersandcocaine 12m ago
LOL! You’d think with all the cocaine all my laundry would be put back immediately and the whole house would be spotless 🤣
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u/jenet-zayquah 0m ago
Welp, the answer is clear. Gotta ditch those messy strippers who are always hanging around rifling through your clothes.
I mean, for starters, maybe they should try keeping their own clothes on if they are so hard up for a wardrobe. Sheesh!
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25m ago
I put two large fabric bins in my closet and consolidated my big shoe pile into two smaller shoe piles with walls. It looks a lot better, and tossing them in there is far easier than putting them away in an orderly fashion.
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u/carlitospig 18h ago
I’m the opposite. My room is usually sparkling clean but my living room the nightmare. I need serenity before bed. 🧘♀️
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u/Any_Veterinarian_163 19h ago
Wasn’t it KC Davis? She is legit amazing.
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u/Dependent_Pen_1603 19h ago
It is, I literally just read this quote in “How to Keep House While Drowning” this morning. It may not be the book for everyone but it’s super resonating for me.
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u/AromaticSun6312 18h ago
I’m not sure where the original quote came from but I appreciate it all the same.
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u/I_Dream_Of_Oranges 19h ago
Ooh, I don’t know if it was me or not, but it is one of my favorite sayings. 😁 I use it a lot, especially for housework - a half-assed swiffering is better than no dusting, etc.
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u/tangtastesgood 19h ago
Me, too. It was hard to accept, it was hard to start doing, and it's still hard, but at least SOME things get done now.
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u/misschievoustiff 19h ago
“Some is better than none” is my version of this. Glad you’re finding something that works for you right now. 🌻
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u/princess_ferocious 18h ago
My partner and I say "half an arse is better than no arse at all!" as a reminder of this kind of thing. Mouthwash is better than no dental hygiene, picking up a few things is better than leaving it all lying around.
I know I've talked about it on here in various dental posts because our dentist actually agrees and has validated it, so I bring that up to reassure people - doing literally anything rather than nothing is a dentist-approved strategy!
I'm also a fan of the phrase "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" because it flipped my whole mindset. So often I wouldn't try or do something because I didn't think I'd do it well enough, or I might not be able to do it all. The idea that it's better to do at least some of an important thing rather than waiting for a perfect time that may never come was a revelation.
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u/carlitospig 18h ago
It’s strange how we adhders tend to also be Type A. Most normal folks don’t care nearly as much and get along just fine. We really should incorporate their vibe more for our sanity.
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u/MollyKule 19h ago
I love that this resonated with you! And others! It seems so silly but my life changed so much when I had a therapist tell me a similar phrase about letting things go “like water off a ducks back) during a CBT session. She gave an example of seeing a friend at the grocery store, saying hi, but they don’t respond.
What’s my initial thought:reaction? Me: I’ve upset them
- Put myself in their place, a friend says hi and I ignore them? Why? Me: I might not have heard them.
Does my original reaction make sense logically? Me: No….
She told me to give other people the benefit of the doubt, and to let it go like water off a ducks back. It became my mantra.
Someone was short with me at work? Let it roll off like water off a duck’s back.
Someone cut me off and gave me the bird? They’re having a bad day, let it go like water of a ducks back.
I fucked up and missed my doctors appointment. Let it go, it happens to everyone.
It really made me be kinder to myself, be more empathetic to others, and I find myself grounded by it.
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u/RealMermaid04 ADHDiiiva! 19h ago
My husband does not understand that. I do my best, but it is not my husband's view of "best".
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u/CassTeaElle 19h ago
That's such a great quote. I've been trying to adopt that mindset more lately, because my perfectionism often makes me want to not even try something if I'm not going to be able to do it 100%. This is a great catchphrase to keep in mind. Thanks for sharing!
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u/whatdayoryear ADHD 18h ago
Exactly what I needed to read tonight, after having only swiffered half of the apartment.
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u/Desperate-Low537 11h ago
Before being diagnosed, I had a therapist who would address my perfectionism and suggest the „salad way of doing things“ . By that he meant doing just a bit, like just eating half a tomato slice and not feeling bad about it. It didn‘t make mich sense then and came to me again after the adhd diagnosis.
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u/Adventurous-Yard-306 6h ago
This saying was revolutionary for me. I’m a perfectionist and often fall prey to the thought “if I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t try”. Then a professor told me “Anything worth doing well is also worth doing badly” and it changed my world!
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u/weewench 6h ago
I’ve learned that even the slightest effort yields results, and sometimes even leads to more effort.
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u/Aziara86 10h ago
My parents were shit. They liked to quote some stupid Amish reader 'done right is twice done'.
Essentially, if I didn't do it PERFECTLY, I would have to start over from the beginning and do it again. "Do it right the first time or you'll have to do it twice!"
I think this sort of thinking STILL contributes to my executive dysfunction, because I can't handle doing the job once, much less twice--I know I can't do it perfectly, so my brain is programmed to think I'll have to repeat the task--so I don't do the task in the first place.
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u/stace-cadet 37m ago
I think that might have been me! It's a quote from the book "How to keep house while drowning" by KC Davis. Highly recommend the read!
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