Over the years I've paid a lot of attention to my particular patterns. Those patterns are my personal checks and balances.

Sometimes, I'll have random thoughts like, "I could just run right off this bridge and no one would miss me." Over the years, I know for a fact I'm not going to act on that thought, but instead I'm going to RUN to my NP and get my thyroid levels checked. When this happens my thyroid is low. Every. Single. Time.

In that same respect, I have two places in my home that are harbingers of a downward spiral. My refrigerator and my panty drawer. I can't help it, I enjoy looking at things neatly put away with enough space around them to breathe. Knowing that I did that all by myself is a big kick for me.

Any downward spiral I've had in the past 10 years always begins with a panty drawer full of messy clothes and a fridge full of messy food.

Here's the kicker. I always thought people wouldn't know how bad things are for me because I held it all in and in reality, all they need to do is open my fridge.

I wonder if anyone else has little checks and balances like that. I'd surely enjoy hearing some of your successes.

I'm off to shred some lettuce!

I went to a holistic doctor for the first time last week and I can’t get this out of my head.

We spent a while discussing hormones and how they can affect ADHD. I’ve been off adderall for years because of the side effects and recently I went in to try some new medicine.

When she said this I just kinda went blank for a second because… yeah. Yeah, this hit the nail on the head. The only way I get things done is to panic do them when there’s a deadline.

This just struck me and I thought I’d share. She’s right.

Hi everyone,
I’ve been reflecting on how ADHD shows up differently for women, and I’m curious: what’s the one thing that feels hardest to manage on a daily basis? Whether it’s juggling work and family, battling decision fatigue, or simply staying focused, I’d love to hear about your experiences.

I’m just sharing my story in case it helps anyone else. I am 41, diagnosed about two years ago. My symptoms have gotten worse and worse. The meds weren’t helping (and the crashes were making everything harder).

Over the past 6 months my short term memory has been astoundingly bad (like, the family joke is that I’m Dorie from Finding Nemo). I haven’t been able to organize anything in my house. I’ve never been a good housekeeper but cleaning has felt impossible. I’ve been exhausted every morning - it takes enormous effort to get moving. I haven’t been able to plan things - like my brain can’t follow the planning process. I’ve felt confused easily and in a fog.

Okay, so fast forward to now and I started HRT 3 weeks ago.

Y’all.

I’m waking up refreshed in the morning and going to exercise. I’m remembering things much better (still not great but I have adhd so my memory has never been great). I planned shit today. I meal prepped. My husband said I felt much more connected and present. I don’t feel like my energy is 2/10 all the time - it’s been like a good 6-7/10 and I’m thrilled with that.

I’m just sharing this in case there’s any other woman out there who is feeling like she’s trying all the adhd treatments and things are only getting worse. Maybe it’s your hormones. Now that I’m feeling better I realize how utterly shit I was actually feeling - it was awful!!

For the last 5-7 years I have progressively developed intolerance to bras. I have tried all types of models and fabrics and it is still horrible. I need to dress professionally and I can not really go without. Has anyone experienced this? (I am in my early 40s so If not ADHD could this be perimenopause? Or both combined?)

I could get out of bed and do things, but I feel like I just don't really have the energy.

I started tracking my cycle years ago but I never thought to track it in relation to my ADHD until a couple years ago. It’s utterly maddening that when I’m ovulating my meds don’t work at all. This week has been an epic disaster and I have no support from my meds. The kicker was just finding that my dog puked on my comforter. Now I have to find the executive functioning to get my comforter clean before bed tonight and I hate everything.

I read the recent research confirming ADHD meds effectiveness changes based on cycle and recommends adjusting meds accordingly. I haven’t talked to my doctor about it yet but I want to. Has anyone done this yet?

Like, you just can't recall it. Not when it happened, but that it happened at all. You just don't really remember bleeding or changing out your tampons or anything when you retrace your steps. Almost like a memory gap

I feel like my meds just don't work depending on my cycle. Im currently close to my period, and when I'm not hungry, I just want to eat all the time. I have PCOS, and I also struggle with the "lead up" and find my PMS symptoms sometimes start 10-12 days BEFORE my actual period. So sometimes 10 days of feeling like this. Does anyone else struggle with this? What do you do to help with the feeling? I can't stop grinding my teeth right now because all I want to do is chew 🙃

I just had mine done and I am very deficient, and I guess that is common with us. The mix of having a period, having "safe" foods when the ADHD is really bad, and that many ADHD meds make us not hungry or nauseous or both can lead to super low iron and ferritin. And low iron can lead to more exhaustion, brain fog, executive dysfunction, and sleep problems.

Obviously not everyone with ADHD will have low iron- but if you find that yours has been extra bad lately, I highly suggest getting your levels tested.

Do normies just coast through this every month like it’s nothing? I lose my sh*t every time. I cannot manage this at all, it’s been 24 years of pure hell. Just exhausting. Might be time to get back on HBC, risks be damned. My mental health can’t deal anymore.

After doing lots of reading, I understand people with ADHD tend to engage in risky behaviors and are impulsive because of the dopamine it produces. I struggle with that and am trying to replace unhealthy things with healthier. I’m curious what healthy habits other women have that you can do instead? For me, I like hiking. It’s a great way to get away from noise and the exercise makes me feel great. But I can’t do it all the time, so I end up doing impulsive things like getting obsessed with things (like shoes) and spending all my money on it :(

The women in my family all started exhibiting forgetfulness and issues with emotional regulation in either their late 30s or very early 40s. Every single one of them are also extremely messy and have some neurodiverse stuff going on, but mainly ADHD.

I’m wondering if as people with ADHD are much more sensitive to hormone fluctuations and experience the mental symptoms of perimenopause much earlier? I’m 39 and people are surprised when I tell them I started watching my period like a hawk because I felt like I was at the start of perimenopause and that I’m now noticing minor discrepancies in my vagina health in general (sorry for the TMI but more dryness, increase in yeast infections.)

The first symptom, however, seemed to be that the “mild” ADHD I had had since childhood that was managed well enough with giving myself a lot of structure, using timers constantly, etc. became utterly unmanageable and I felt like I needed medication.

Did you notice the ADHD because of perimenopause?

How awesome would it have been? Including women in clinical drug trials only became mandatory in 1993. Prior to that, white males were the test subjects for drug trials. If you think about it, that includes ADHD medications. We know now that the female genetic makeup aren’t the same as males (e.g., hormones, cells). That said, it makes sense why some older stimulants don’t help me. Today, around 10% of NIH funding goes to women’s health. To top that, 2% goes to women’s reproductive health. Ladies that suffer from PMDD along with ADHD have to wait longer for a potential cure. I’m curious on everyone’s experience, or please share your thoughts and feelings on if the patriarchy didn’t f*** up and include women earlier.

But honestly, how long before I start doom scrolling? 😖😖😖😖🥹🥹🥹

I was diagnosed at 39. I am now 43 and have had a lot of changes happen the last few years one of them being leaving my job of 6 years which had become increasingly stressful after an acquisition and me needing to medicate myself to get stuff done.

I have started to experience some hormone related symptoms and learned that estrogen is connected to dopamine production. A corollary to that is AS ESTROGEN LEVELS DECREASE, SO DOES DOPAMINE PRODUCTION!! This is devastating to those of us who are already on the hunt for it non stop.

I started thinking about how generally speaking, women and girls have been under diagnosed as a whole and how we are now getting diagnoses later in life:

1. Because there’s more awareness and

   1. Because that’s when our estrogen is naturally dropping, in turn dropping our dopamine and making us even more symptomatic?

This is one if my theories and I would love to know if anyone can relate, what you’ve done about it, and what advice you have.

It seems like hormone replacement and supplementation is beneficial for many middle aged women but could it be even better for those of us with ADHD???

Could it help us get some dopamine back, and not have to reply so heavily on medication?

I just want to feel “normal” again.

I fell like my cycle effects my ADHD symptoms. And its gotten worse with age. I feel like the 3-4 days before I get my period, and I was prone til bad moods but has with age changed to full blown PMS.

I feel like I almost verbally abused my husband on those days, because everything he says is wrong. I mean I know it’s not, but only first realize that after the fact and then I feel horrible and ashamed.

Anyone else feel that too?

Calling all perimenopausal ADHD ladies!!! How are you coping? Literally! I mean HOW??? I’m 43 (finally diagnosed with ADHD at 40).

Every damn day I wake up with the craziest head fog. My eyes are puffy, my head is so foggy. I can barely concentrate or think coherently. My eyes are in a constant state of zoning out and crossing. I just want to go back to sleep.

I take my meds (ADHD - I’m not on HRT yet) as soon as I wake up and they take an hour to kick in. How well they’ll work on any given day is a complete unknown. Some days it’s normal and I can get loads done. Some days I might as well have not taken them because there’s no noticeable difference even though I did.

I’m really struggling with work. I’m barely getting anything done and am falling so far behind. My eyes just begin to cross and rest and all I want to do is zone out most of the time.

Is anyone else in the depths of perimenopause and experience similar? How are you doing? Are you functioning? If so, HOW!?! Im seriously struggling. 😩

Hit me with your tips and advice please!!!

I’m sorry if I’ve selected the wrong flair here.

Ok so I’m a sensitive person (even though I’m a b!tćh as well), I don’t cry as much as I used to and I feel my body has stored my need to cry.

I’m now on my period and F M L there is a thunder of sadness, anger and loneliness brewing inside of me.

I want to cry, I’m literally on border of it but every time I start crying, SECONDS later my brain switches itself to stop me crying. It’s working on trying to make me smile, make me laugh.

It’s like I’ve reached my destination but I end taking 10 steps back against my will.

So here I am in need to cry but my mind is… I don’t know, protecting me? BUT I NEED TO CRY, MY BUCKET IS FULL IT NEEDS TO BE EMPTIED.

HOW ON EARTH DO I EMPTY MY BUCKET?

HOW DO I CRY MY ORGANS OUT??

EDIT TO ADD: forgive me, I forgot to say hi, please and thank you in advance. Making this edit so no one feels like I was coming at you taking my frustrations out on everyone here.

Sorry once again 💝💝💝💝💝.

I’m 26F and it is currently 2:06am. I’ve been up since about 1:50, but my brain hasn’t shut up since probably 1:20. I have to be up for work at 4:30 and REALLY need a few more hours of sleep before I need to wake up again. My brain has been shuffling a bunch of songs, shows, movies, I mean you name it it’s just all playing VERY loudly and I can’t go back to sleep. I’m pretty sure my period is starting next week, so this might be some PMDD but PLEASE I am desperate for anything that could work to distract my brain enough to get quiet so I can sleep for the next hour and a half before I have to get up and work with children for 8 hours.

I absolutely hate when this happens. It frustrated me so badly that sometimes I cry because it’s so overwhelming living with a brain that just won’t. Stop.

Thanks in advance for any tips and help!

Edit/Update: Wow I wasn’t expecting this many replies. I am truly so insanely grateful for all of your suggestions. I put in some headphones, put on a YouTube video as background noise (I’m into kpop so I put on Going Seventeen videos and tried to focus on matching the voices to which member I thought was speaking) and was THANKFULLY able to fall asleep probably around 3. About to head into work now but from the bottom of my heart thank you guys❤️

I know as part of our cycle and hormones, the week of our period and days leading up to your ADHD symptoms get worse. For me, whatever progress I make usually falls apart the days leading up and on my period. My depression and mood swings are unmanageable. My sleep schedule gets even worse then it already is and I have no motivation to eat healthy on this week. And all of that make it even harder to get anything done or done on time or well. So my career and relationships always suffer a little extra during this time.

What do I do?! What do you guys do?!

(I'm unmedicated right now because meds never really work for me anyways. I was diagnosed only a few years ago as an adult and I'm trying to conceive, so I stopped trying to find meds that might work that I would have to stop anyway if I got pregnant)

Also currently freaking out because it's 11:45 at night and I have two big work assignments I have to finish for tomorrow because I completely fucked up my day. And been too depressed to do them earlier. I tried to have caffeine today to help because I was so tired from crappy sleep last night and instead it made me so jittery with stomach issues. Was a great day 😭.

How did you know and what helped you?

I started having depression a year ago. Along with perimenopause symptoms. Always knew I have undiagnosed ADHD but learned to just live this way.

I can go from feeling normal around friends to going into REALLY dark thoughts as soon as im alone and feeling totally off if im not taking my mind off of depression.

I tried SSRIs. Didnt work. Anhedonia just got worse. Weaned off. Now on hormone therapy which helps a bit for anxiety and other symptoms.

But depression: untouchable.

Im gonna see my psychiatrist next week and I want to ask for Wellbutrin or maybe Vyvanse...

I cannot get a grip. My job has become incredibly stressful and I’ve been so overwhelmed and I literally cry every single day because of it. How do you handle it? I just want to curl up in bed and never leave on weeks like this it’s exhausting.

Recently I got minerals checked and they were lower: Ferritin, Magnesium, Vitamin D, Potassium. I had an appt with my Psychiatrist today and told her that I’m supplementing but I was curious to her perspective on that. Since some studies have shown that ADHD people can have those vitamins and hormone in the low end. I thought she would say it is bullshit but to my surprise she was super supportive and said some of her patients that don’t want to get medicated usually gets supplemented. I’m curious if any of you tried supplements and if they were effective.