r/antiwork • u/1958showtime • 6d ago
Know your Worth 🏆 Resigned last week, got a hilarious response from my director
Hadn't been happy for a while, so I've been shopping around my CV and got a pretty good offer last week, which I accepted. Once I did, I sent my director my resignation via email and copied the head of HR, and the HR rep for my building. Couldn't talk to my director in person because despite claiming there isn't a WFH policy, she was once again WFH. So email.
Get a call from my director a few minutes later. Her concern wasn't that I was resigning. Her concern was that I had copied HR, and "that's not how we do things around here". All I can say is best of luck with that attitude, honestly.
Update: really appreciate everyone's advice and support and well wishes. Just to clarify, she said everything over the phone, and eventually responded via email accepting the resignation. Since it was to join a competitor, the resignation was with immediate effect, so I've been taking a much needed break before starting my new job.
HOWEVER, yesterday I noticed that they accidentally paid me my full salary, and now there's a hold on my account for the salary payment AND the other funds in there. Yes this is illegal, and yes I will be escalating the matter if it's not resolved by close of business today. I dont mind the hold on the incorrect salary amount, but illegally depriving me access to the rest of my funds? Nope, not gonna happen. Stay tuned.
Update 2: should have mentioned, I worked for a bank, so yes my employer placed a hold on my salary in my account. Anyhoo, since I'm now just a customer (who just happens to know exactly who to call), I formally queried the holds. I got confirmation that my former director was the one who instructed operations support to place both holds on my account. And because a formal query was submitted via email, with tons of people copied, she authorized the release of both holds. Including the one I didn't have an issue with for the overpaid final salary. Which means the holds were BS in the first place. Anyway, I'm not touching the overpaid salary because I'm not trying to burn bridges within the industry unnecessarily. But I do plan to formally escalate the illegal hold and the hilarious response to my resignation notice. If there's an update worth sharing, I will. If not, cheers folks, y'all have been great.
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u/Spiritraiser 6d ago
I would have given it to you, if you were at the office and not working from home which is something we are not doing here either.
And CC HR again. 😎
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u/manatwork01 6d ago
"where is here? Because its not in person... at the office." while BCCing HR
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u/txlady100 6d ago
Why hide behind a BCC. Proudly CC.
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u/youareceo 6d ago
"I'm sorry, I stopped by your office. You weren't there.
Where are you working today?"
cc: Both HR bcc: Your Director's Executive Director and the CEO Then:
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u/CatchMeIfYouCan09 6d ago
And add
Confused as to why I wouldn't communicate or inform the department responsible for staffing and the decisions about them. That's odd.
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u/zanne54 6d ago
Time for a follow up email to HR: “I just received a phone call from director advising me emailing a resignation is “not how we do things around here”. Kindly advise how you would prefer me to resign when my director not on-site and WFH.”
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u/Pristine_Reward_1253 6d ago
As a former HR, DO THIS!!! Rope in your business partner and HR director for "guidance" on resignation. I guarantee that things will get juicy and possibly uncomfortable for your former director!
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u/FantasticlyWarmLogs 6d ago
I assume HR lives on drama llamas
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u/justbrowsinglolz 6d ago
Former HR here. HR are just good actors. Behind the scenes, they act like everyone else x10.
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u/Mister_Brevity 6d ago
lol have been on zoom discussing an employees actions and the hr lady yelled “that stupid motherfucker”, then immediately apologized and turned bright red. Highlight of my interactions with hr.
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u/aeschenkarnos 6d ago
Unprofessional, but was she wrong?
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u/Mister_Brevity 6d ago
No she was extremely justified.
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u/aeschenkarnos 6d ago
Sounds like an interesting story?
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u/Mister_Brevity 6d ago
Yeah but its nature rhymes with schmitle schmine so I’m not comfortable disclosing.
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u/waterydesert 6d ago
Why am I saying this out loud and cannot for the life of me figure out what it is 😂😩🤷🏻♀️
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u/swankship 6d ago
Former HR & now behind the scenes we’re also telling people how to work the loop holes 😈
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u/lizzietnz 6d ago
We love drama llamas, juicy gossip and idiots. Without them, we wouldn't have a job!
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u/ten-oh-four 6d ago
My experience with HR is that they don't exist to protect or help the people, they exist to help and protect the company. Are you saying this doesn't always have to be the case?
This is a serious comment. I've always considered HR to be like double agents. I don't mean this to insult anyone, and I'd love to be wrong about this, but that's been my experience my entire professional career.
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u/meanie_ants 6d ago
At a good workplace, HR is there to protect both the employee and the employer. Basically, to make sure rights are being respected in all directions.
At a good workplace.
It’s not an easy job. There’s a reason HR staff are always in demand. Same as accountants.
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u/Pristine_Reward_1253 6d ago
My focus was on benefits. Speaking for myself only, I worked to help the employees. Our coverage was near Rolls Royce level, starting on day 1. None of that 90 day "is this marriage going to work out" bullshit. It was my job to onboard new hires and acquisitions. I processed life events from marriage, birth, adoption and death. Open enrollment was always fun, especially with November and December life events requiring DOUBLE the work of getting employees and their families covered as of the event date and making sure it carried over when our new plan year changed on 1/1. without interruption of coverage. Does the average employee realize how many moving parts there really are and that HR does MORE than allegedly make your lives hell on earth? I'm really sorry if the seemingly millions of redditors out there were treated like shit by their HR. Just know it's NOT like that across the board. Ask me how many high level, insanely brilliant mind people I worked with that could not figure out how to do self service open enrollment. Even with the simplest, page by page, line by line explicit instructions how to navigate the employee portal to sign up for FSA or change their health insurance from Kaiser to Aetna. It was like dealing with 100 Sheldon Coopers. They were walked through it gently, with kindness and patience by our 4 person staff every time. And there is always one arrogant fuck executive who would have his assistant call to submit his changes over the phone. We laughed as we said sure, we can take care of that BUT you need to have your executive fill out the paper form with his changes/enrollments and we need his signature so we have a proper recorded paper trail of his annual elections. 🙄 Our Sr. VP backed us up every time. The tales I could tell.
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u/kramfive 6d ago
I’m going to read some tea leaves here and say the manager has a quarterly “full staff bonus” on the line and didn’t want HR to know of the resignation until April.
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u/iEugene72 6d ago
You really gotta love the, "that's not how we do things around here" even AFTER reading your resignation letter... This was a blatant and total last ditch damage control effort to attempt to assert power over you.
The number one thing that bosses hate is losing control, no matter what it is. It's the biggest reason for their narcissism, they're obsession with profit and money, they're totally want to monitor and stare at your IN OFFICE, because bosses generally are convinced that ALL employees will fuck around if not monitored 24/7.
They cannot understand personal choices or personal freedoms unless it benefits them.
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u/Par-Fore-20 6d ago
Reply all: “Sorry HR, please disregard as boss said this isn’t how we do things here.
Thank you for understanding. I’m still leaving. I’ve just expedited the process. This communication is my last task as an employee.”
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u/endless_shrimp 6d ago
"Cool, I don't work for you."
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u/OkSector7737 6d ago
Said another way:
"Your reply is noted, however, since I don't work for you anymore, the way you think that things are done around here is irrelevant.
I will appreciate if you will stay on topic for the rest of our communications, which will be conducted in writing from now until the end of my notice period, to preserve the record for litigation.
That will be all, and you are not required to respond to this message.
Thank you."
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u/DavidisLaughing 6d ago
This right here. Even when you hit 100% of your bosses goals, every client is extremely satisfied and no issues in work performance they will justify their needs to monitor or micro manage. It’s 100% a boss/manager mindset that is the problem. People who want to control others are drawn to that sort of work. People who are doers are drawn to the roles that let them think and work that “need management” when really they just need a lead doer type personality to manage a team.
I feel so lucky that my boss isn’t the type to micromanage work when the job is getting completed.
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u/Khada_the_Collector 6d ago
“That’s just as well, I won’t be here much longer anyway.”
I hope that or something similar was sent in reply, OP. Either way, congrats on the ejector seat, and onward to better things and days!
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u/jTexans 6d ago
Ha! I resigned once while my boss was gone for a week and no one knew if she was on vacation or what.
When she got back from wherever she was, we had a safety committee meeting and a member discussed responsibility handoff with my role. After the meeting she said she was disappointed in learning about my resignation in that meeting.
B!!…you were MIA and no one in company knew where you were!
Congrats on new job, OP.
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u/yummy__hotdog__water 6d ago
Had something similar. The owner came in to hand out Christmas bonuses. Nice gesture. Said that I was a great member of the team and deserved every bit of this bonus, and then some. I asked him, "Oh, no one told you?" I had put in my 2 weeks a week ago lol
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u/Swiftraven 6d ago
I hope it was cash lol
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u/yummy__hotdog__water 5d ago
- Which for a glorified burger joint 12 years ago i feel like was a decent bonus. Too bad the regular pay sucked lol
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u/Sad_Enthusiasm_3721 6d ago
Response:
Director:
I'm really going to miss your witty emails. Wishing you all the best in what comes next.
—Forlorned
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u/GeddyVedder 6d ago
“Since I’m not going to be here much longer, I don’t care how you do things around here.”
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u/No-Penalty1722 6d ago
"that's not how we do things around here"
My guess is that she knew HR would want to have a face to face about it and now your director would have to admit she wasn't in the office.
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u/meanie_ants 6d ago
This 100%. Director felt threatened that they were gonna get caught with their hand in the cookie jar and was deflecting.
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u/RichRichieRichardV 6d ago
In your defense, one only resigns there once, or never. So how tf could you possibly know?
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u/youareceo 6d ago edited 6d ago
Board of *Directors at a Credit Union here. Don't just go to the Department of Labor...
Call whatever institution at the state and federal level that regulates your bank. I would not do CFPB with the trunk sh show right now.
It sounds like you are a higher in the ranks, so if you know your external auditor, give them a call directly. Do not call the internal auditor because they are on the bank's side.
You want these mother f****** ass handed to them, red raw from the paddle!
As to the statements of how you do things here, I just can't resist sorry:
"I'm sorry, how I do things when I'm leaving any company revolves around the law; solely my best interests; and, what my attorney advises me to do.
Your desires and preferences beyond policy mean nothing."
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u/youareceo 6d ago
*Now before you all pass me off as a Capitalist Pig, this is a local Credit Union that puts Members first and I truly put the mission of I FUCKING HATE BIG BANKS into practice EVERY FUCKING DAY. Every dollar I steal from Chase, Wells Fargo and Capital One is a win for everyone.
Remember also that I got the the Directorship as a volunteer, because I got bent at Innitech (literally) their IRL data processor because I was a Manager activist.
I've even used my voting position to help with labor rights for regular staff, like moving bonuses away from sales and tied to actually doing your job vs the old excuse of "sell more if you want to raise" bullshit.
Point being, NO I'm not licking their boots I'm kicking their @$$
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u/youareceo 6d ago edited 4d ago
Someone NOT understanding pointed out their confusion, so will address. (They were snotty about it, so I blocked and not going there with them)
By EXTERNAL I mean the one the GOV sends. Not the one the BANK pays.
The latter is like HR: In your employer's pocket. At worst, you can point to your external gets ignored. At best, they get busted for something by referral and more, if they find something you don't know that they don't like in an area they DO practice.
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u/Catty_Pake 6d ago
They always gotta make some petty jab cuz they're pissed and feeling "blindsided". That happened to me when I emailed my supervisor that I quit (after I left at lunch and didn't come back). She was mad like "I've never had anyone walk off the job before!" It's already done, why do I give a fuck what you think?
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u/high_throughput 6d ago
Damn. Would it really have been so hard to just reply with something like "I'm sad to see you go and I wish you'd called/slacked/emailed before cc'ing HR, but I'm excited for your new opportunity and we'll work to ensure smooth transition. I would appreciate if you didn't inform anyone else until we have contingency plans in place so that we'll be able to answer to any of the team's questions about the future."
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u/Marginally_Witty 6d ago
“I’m sorry, you’ve reached an employee who is disinterested because they recently resigned. If you believe you’ve reached this employee in error, please, hang up and try your call again. Error code I-D-TEN-T. Thank you.”
click
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u/Mohican83 lazy and proud 6d ago
I woulda been straight up "that actually is how we do things around here but since you get special WFH privilege you wouldn't know. I copied HR so they could be sure you got the message since your absent so much." And I would copied HR again.
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u/rach1874 6d ago
That is wild to me that they said that. It is completely appropriate to CC HR. I was in HR for ten plus years and was always grateful when I got cc’d on a resignation rather than just getting the forwarded “FYI so and so out their notice in” email from the manager. Notice I’m not in HR any more because I hate the political BS lol.
Screw that director and go enjoy your new role and flourish!
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u/taelor 6d ago
This response from OP’s boss is wild to me.
Every job I’ve ever resigned, I’ve written an email that goes directly to my boss and whatever contacts I have in HR.
In situations where I like my boss, I usually try and do a slack huddle to let them know verbally, but I send the email as soon as the huddle starts.
Am I doing it wrong?
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u/TrainAss 6d ago
"That's not how we do things around here."
Well, apparently WFH is also not done around here, and yet, here we are.
Eat shit, no love. Me
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u/themomcat 6d ago
So… your HR… isn’t supposed to know… when people resign… and their positions will need to be filled… what?
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u/Finwolven 6d ago
Good job on the overpay, that's legally their money so let it sit on the account until they claw it back.
For the illegal holds, you were injued by their interference with funds that are legally yours. You couldn't pay bills, and if you'd had an emergency you wouldn't be able to access funds to help ameliorate that situation. Consult a lawyer, see your ex-boss get sacrificed by higher for bringing legal liability on them.
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u/1958showtime 6d ago
Yup, definitely wasn't gonna interfere with the overpay, and definitely not letting the other stuff slide.
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u/hollyhock2021 6d ago
My last boss pulled this same line with me when I resigned in the exact same way. I had been in talks with HR for months about her abuse and harassment and asked HR how I should resign and did exactly as they told me.
I was young and had not really quit a job like this before and she knew that. She said “for future notice, this is not how you resign from a job” and was pissy as hell when I told her that HR had written the email for me to send her. She was angry she didn’t have power over me anymore. Annoying
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u/kryptoneat 5d ago
The hold part is wild. Not a lawyer but I think you could show in court the conflict of interest makes it very much look like some form of payback, which ofc is highly unprofessional and illegal, in addition to them making you pay their own mistake.
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u/joshzerofactor 6d ago
I’d respond to that while CCing HR. “Apparently WFH isn’t an option for our business either, but there you are. Since you weren’t available in-person I made sure my resignation went through.”
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u/rustys_shackled_ford Anarchist 6d ago
"oh it's not? I sure hope you don't fire me over it ..." Dumbass people.
I've always relished those little moments when people think they can talk to me any way they want after the fear of threats had been removed.
I've banked a million cheeky responses to people like this.
"Oh yea? Fire me" is the pretty standard response. I also enjoy something like " oh you didn't hear, this is how we do it now. Cause, see, I just did it. Look, I'm in the middle of doing it. I'm actually in the process of doing it this way now. Boy I hope you don't get fired for thinking we still do it the old way.... That reminds me, after this little meeting, we need to have a talk. Meet me in my office after this."
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u/MadMaxBeyondThunder 6d ago
I could not have resisted saying "I've seen how you do things around here."
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u/jesuswalks22 6d ago
Had a similar situation with supervisor. Replied by cc’ing every person above him in the organization all the way to CEO. Because, you know, chain of command.
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u/pangalacticcourier 6d ago
"that's not how we do things around here".
"Okay. I won't have to worry about that in two weeks, and you won't have to spend any time training me on that procedure. Good luck in your future endeavors."
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u/LordAronsworth 6d ago
“that’s not how we do things around here”
Oh no, hope your director doesn’t fire you for that, then.
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u/Savings_Knowledge233 6d ago
You should 100% ask Hr for guidance on how best to resign and include the whole c-suite
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u/indiglow55 5d ago
Comical because CCing HR is exactly what you’re supposed to do when putting in notice
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u/ten-oh-four 6d ago
The laconic slam dunk response to "That's not how we do things around here":
"Cope."
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u/brilliant-trash22 6d ago
Update your resignation letter by adding a fluff sentence or something and send it to all 3 of them again
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u/limeytim 6d ago
This is where you say to the director “I have a book I want you to read. It’s called ‘Who Moved My Cheese’ “
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u/MysticalMummy 6d ago
I also put in my notice last week. CC'd HR on my email.
My boss didn't talk to me all week long.
Nobody even acknowledged it until I called in sick yesterday due to vomiting. My store manager was the one who answered the phone and he decided NOW was the time to ask me why I put my notice in. I told him this is really not a good time and I'm very sick. He followed up with "Did you find another job?" I just said "No."
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u/rividz 6d ago
Whenever you are leaving a company because of bad mgmt, handing your notice to HR is the move. Anything that that manager and mgmt chain can't keep under them looks like egg on their face. I found out through the grapevine that my old managers were furious that HR would not share what I put in my 2 week notice letter. If you're leaving because of a malicious manager or leader, don't give them the satisfaction of handing them your resignation. Email HR and if you're not open to the counter offer, make the announcement yourself to the team on your own terms.
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u/janually 6d ago
… why wouldn’t you cc HR on your resignation? they’re gonna have to see it eventually anyway. better to send it to them on your own terms than let a toxic boss frame it however they want to.
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u/Geminii27 5d ago
Time to have a lawyer sue the bank and specifically mention the director's name as the cause.
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u/SaidwhatIsaid240 6d ago
What are you gonna do? Fire me? And since I did it apparently that’s how we do it around here. Shows the level of disconnect some people have to call and chastise someone about proper procedure who is leaving and won’t give a shit anyways.
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u/proddy 6d ago
Shit like that payment error is why I haven't closed my 2nd bank account. Maybe that's paranoid.
I have my salary paid into an account that is online only, no monthly fees. Then after I receive my payment I pay all my bills and transfer the rest to another bank account where my savings is kept.
It started out because the 2nd account had less hoops to jump through for a good interest rate and I didn't close the first out of laziness.
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u/HingleMcCringle_ (edit this) 6d ago
I never understood bosses, managers, or directors thought process when they see a resignation and think "no, we do things differently here at Shitfuck LLC. You need to resign (like this)".
All I can think is "oh fucking well? The company's no longer useful to me, why tf do I care about it's policy?".
Juicy update, though. I hope i get to see where it leads to
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u/thekyledavid 6d ago
“That’s not how we do things around here”
“Well then it’s a good thing I don’t work here”
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u/NPJenkins 5d ago
I think if a company/bank/etc overpays someone, they should just have to eat the loss. If it’s the other way around, we just get told “well, we can’t get your money back, be more careful next time.” Companies can freeze our whole bank accounts over THEIR mistakes though. Totally fair /s
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u/badlilbishh 5d ago
Just read your updates and I would be moving banks immediately if I were you cause wow that’s fucked up!!
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u/1958showtime 5d ago
Yeah so I'm taking up a new job in another bank, so I'm definitely gonna have to open accounts with my new employer. I was initially gonna leave my loan business (mortgage etc) with my old employers because I don't have any ill will towards them, but after this whole self inflicted wound, my thinking and next steps have changed drastically.
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u/badlilbishh 5d ago
Yeah I would not trust to do any business with them after that shit your old employer pulled.
Good luck with your new job and everything. 😊😊
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u/MissDez 3d ago
I would leave your mortgage where it is unless it is open/no penalty for you to pay off. It often is while you are staff but once you leave, it may automatically become closed immediately or within a certain number of days.
We sold our house and the closing was less than two weeks before the mortgage expired. It cost us over $1500, even though the interest rates on mortgages were *higher* than our mortgage. The interest rare differential is brutal.
Six of one, half dozen of the other though- we might have had to pay another condo fee in the meantime or more utilities.
But before you decide between moving it or waiting until your mortgage is up for renewal, make sure what your penalty is to get out. I'm in Canada, so YMMV.
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u/Better_Profession474 5d ago
What a gem of a director. Sounds like you got everything well in hand but an ethical employer would never have allowed that kind of incompetence or retaliation.
Banks are not nice places for a reason. Don’t bank where you work.
Credit unions tend to appreciate your business more than the big guys.
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u/drhagbard_celine 6d ago
"that's not how we do things around here"
Cool, I'll keep that in mind the next time I quit here.
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u/Ok-Sample-5169 6d ago
tempting as it may be just remember any email you send to the director or HR could be forwarded to the company that made you the offer to try and make you look Petty and get your offer rescinded
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u/1958showtime 6d ago
Oh ofc. Which is why I kept it simple. Resigning to take up an offer elsewhere, all the best to the global and local leadership teams, deuces.
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u/SomeSamples 6d ago
You were too kind. Should just ghosted the company. Leave all your shit on your desk you last day and never return.
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u/virgilreality 6d ago
"...that's not how we do things around here"
That's why I don't want to stick around here...
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u/Sander001 6d ago
What would've happened if you printed your letter of resignation and left it on her desk 😏
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u/Micturating-Fool-919 6d ago
Nothing because the bitch WFH all the time. By the she got it the two week notice period would have been over and wouldn't have to worry about it.
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u/reigorius 6d ago
How in god's earth can a company bar you from your own bank account by a fault of their own doing?
Impossible where I live.
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u/MicCheckTapTapTap 6d ago
I've been struggling for a long time. I make about $31K/yr and I'm really not doing well, y'all. I've got three degrees in theatre and have tried and failed for years to get a teaching position. I desperately need to get something more than my front desk job at a gym.
I'm so lost and I don't know what to do. No car anymore, can't commute very far, and have been trying desperately to find something remote.
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u/snavous 6d ago
i'm just assuming here, but was it mandatory to have an account on the bank you are employed? i don't think i'd have one if not. in brazil you could have an account that always transfers out any amount dropped in it, and i assume i'd go that route if possible. seems weird to me to have an account my employer has "access" to
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u/1958showtime 6d ago
Yup, mandatory, and honestly, for the first 15 years of my career, I never saw me leaving, so I never really bothered to open accounts elsewhere, other than investment accounts. The small perks for staff like no fees etc were pretty nice.
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u/DietMtDew1 I'd rather be drinking a Diet Mt Dew 6d ago
Go full Veronika on her (the director):
- recap and response email from your talk. Including and not limited to that you had illegitimate bank holds on your account.
- CC HR, and the C-suite employees.
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u/YabeYo 6d ago
This was a great read!
I'm still new and all over the place, so sometimes I don't know how to react or response. You sound like you got a good head on your shoulder, and very mature!
If it me I probably feel bad and apologized, or panic all over :')
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u/1958showtime 6d ago
We all started somewhere. I've been in this job for over 15 years but I still really benefited during all of this from solid advice from friends in the industry. If you ever want to reach out for some advice, feel free. And good luck.
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u/DimentoGraven 4d ago
Ah yes, banking, one of the few businesses where if YOU make a mistake YOU pay, and if THEY make a mistake, YOU pay.
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u/aLovely_gem 4d ago
Well, now it sounds like they mat owe you damages for losses or fees that occured while they withheld funds.
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u/Electronic-Count3283 4d ago
I ALWAYS cc HR when it comes to sensitive subjects. If they are worried about that, you have to watch your back.
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u/1958showtime 2d ago
This is not the first time she did some shady shit with money and I went to HR. Last time she tried to mess with my year end bonus and I spoke to a friend in HR before I asked about the discrepancy. There was a ton of attempted gaslighting before I got tired of the charade and said "I already checked in with HR and they said this 'error' can be corrected once you approve it". The IMMEDIATE change in tone once she realized I had already gotten HR involved.......
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u/cmpg2006 3d ago
I would open an account in a different bank and move all of the money except the last paycheck.
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u/Mr_Coco1234 6d ago
I work in a bank and people know everyone in the banking industry. I hope she doesn't spin a story to make you look bad.
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u/Ok_Needleworker_9537 5d ago
Why would you give your employer access to your bank account? I mean, administratively. The only thing they should be able to do is deposit funds. Wild.
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u/woofwuuff 5d ago
I said this elsewhere but in my world I just stopped showing up at work and let them wonder what happened to that lousy slave gone missing. I have done this twice, with no harm in getting new jobs
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u/MovingTargetPractice 6d ago
good news then since you won't be doing things around there anymore