Straight to the point,my transphobic friend found my trans tiktok account which I made so I can actually be myself without worrying about my school finding out,well anyways I saw a comment last night and it was my transphobic friend,what he commented isn't important,it was some brain rot thing or smth and I think he knows its my account as it had the same pfp as my airbuds account and even tho he hasn't said anything about it to me yet,should I be worried and is there anything I can do about it as there's no photos of my face or bedroom on it so therefore it could be anyone for all he knows but yeah should I worry about it or do something about it

Update: I appreciate all the support I also didn't state this earlier but he knew I was trans and just didn't tell anyone but was very transphobic towards me which is how I found out he was transphobic and I have screenshots of chat which probs aren't useful now tho

I am, by most definitions, a trans woman. Years on E, changed IDs, surgery scheduled, no going back, etc. And I think I have a genital preference in my partners. Specifically, and this is a feeling that has grown in me gradually over the last three years, I think I'm repulsed by vulvas. And I kinda feel like shit about it.

This wouldn't be an issue if I only dated men who are either cis or post phallo. And that demographic is a majority of my romantic/sexual interest. It isn't an issue with one of the transfem/genderfluid people I'm seeing who is fine with her genitals as-is and we get on great!

I recently started dating someone new though. She is a butch trans woman who moves through gay men's spaces at a similar pace to myself. This person has been a close friend for almost a year. This person knows I mostly go for guys, and when they asked to date, I explicitly said "to date me is to engage in a fag's relationship, not a lesbian one like you might get with other transfems."

After several nights out and impassioned kisses, we finally were able to spend a night together. At this point she springs on me for the first time "I've only been with someone else who has a penis once, and I've been having a lot of dysphoria and thoughts of srs lately." And in the moment my brain just went "oh you've done this for someone before you know the script" and proceeded to autopilot my way through a sexual encounter. And looking back, I don't... think I want to do it again. Not that way.

Obviously I'm going to have to talk to her about it. About what gender roles mean to her and to me. I just. I didn't think this would hit me so hard here. It hurts.

So, I'm a cis man and have never really participated in any discussions about transgender people - but today in my Facebook feed it was evident one of my connections, actually an author I used to look up to, is very much against transgender people and also a big JK Rowling fan...

I ended up being attacked from his other friends for standing up for transgender people - basically a group of middle aged women calling themselves feminists, and calling me a misogynist and all sort of things. They also stated that "trans women are men who wear dresses"...

I would like to educate myself better to have more solid arguments in future discussions. For example, I called them out for their hate speech and called them TERFs, to which they replied that TERF was a slur word and I had no idea what I was talking about.

Now, after doing some research, I found out that the word TERF was invented by the movement itself, but they are trying to dismiss that now. I debate with nazis all the time, and they also get very upset when I call them nazis, so I guess it's a similar dynamic. But how to respond to this to properly debunk all their bullshit claims, could you point me to some good sources of information so I could read up and be better prepared next time?

Hi, I am, probably, a cis woman. But I think the world would be easier if gender didn't exist.

I totally understand why trans identity is important in our current society and definatly don't want to undermine that. My issue is gender as a whole.

I am a cis woman but I hate the assumptions people make about me because of it. The only way I relate with womanhood is that people see me as one, but I feel very detached from it on a personal level.

I think the world would be easier if we didn't have gender. I wish we all had access to changing our phenotype (through what is typically called gender affirming surgery) but that there were no expectations on how we are are people based on that. Is this wrong? Am I being exclusionary or transphobic in a way I haven't yet realised?

I have heard from, specifically in this case, a few trans women that they feel uncomfortable about not being called 'lady' or 'miss' and I get that, as someone might do it specifically to exclude them. But I, as a cis woman, I like it when people use gender neutral language to refer to me, even though I really don't think I am NB.

I am really trying to understand if this is something I need to unpack about me, or the world or if it is okay that I wish this.

UPDATE: Thank you all for your replies, I think I should think more about my own gender and read more on the topic but you have given me a lot to think about.

I want to clarify that I do not implay that if gender is not a thing that we should then consider sex to make assumptions on how people are, that is the last thing I want. I understand that people talk about this with ill intentions but I do not implay that anything I said is a valid reason to ever misgender anybody or not fully accept/embrace someone's gender identity.

Second Update: Again thank you for all your comments. I have a lot of thinking to do. I understand gender is important to a lot of people and when I said to 'abolish gender' I did not mean to implay that there is no real valid reasons why, especially trans, people might feel their gender is important. I know I might have said wrong things, I have already learned a lot.

I've always had an interest in how human behavior is mirrored in other animal species.

My problem is that every time I follow the rabbit hole, the result was another case of intersex. I believe this is due to the most sensational stories not being the most truthful, i.e. maned lionesses. It is difficult to box significantly intersex animals into a category and say they must act "this much" male or female to be trans. I was hoping someone else might be more familiar with stores of non intersex, trans animals.

Like... okay, I'm a guy and I'll always be a guy. But I CAN'T STOP TAKING HORMONES. It fuckin' hurts so much being a man. I don't hate white cis hetero men or whatever, I just can't be like that bc IT HURTS. Why people keep writing me in dms just to say me to stop HRT??? What else should I do? Bc I prefer to end it all then living all my life with a male body. I tried to be a man. I TRIED. BUT I CAN'T. I CAN'T I JUST CAN'T. I CAN'T STOP HRT. I TRIED TO END IT ALL 4 TIMES WHEN I WAS PRE-HRT. Fuck, I don't even consider myself a girl, I use he/him, I have a male name. Call me Robert if u want, I don't give a fuck, I hate myself bc of people who hates me for idk why. So, ok, I am a guy, just stop saying me to not take HRT. PLEASE.

So, for context I’m fourteen. I am not white, and I don’t care about my rights. Then I’ll get other trans people telling me why I’m wrong and how trump is evil and stuff. Some have even implied I’m not trans because I don’t care. For me, I see America as a clusterfuck. A clusterfuck born out of a British clusterfuck. I see my rights as meaningless words on a 250yo piece of paper that can be revoked at the stroke of a pen. I grow tired of white people acting surprised that their “rights” are just now being infringed upon. For me and my people our rights don’t exist. Not in the Miranda warning or the fourth amendment. I think it’s stupid that we even treat our elections like the “ultimate moral battle” and stuff. I don’t know I just feel like people always just call me a stupid kid

As a cisF

I'm a cis girl, but I wish I was a trans girl bc then I would just not transition or detransition bc I rly don't see the appeal of being a girl at all. I don't rly look that good as a girl but I feel like I'd look good as a guy iykwim but I feel like this is rude to the trans community bc I'm wishing to be something that I know brings a lot of pain and anxiety in many cases. Would this be considered rude? I'm sorry, I just needed to ask that/get that of my chest. Pls drink water, thank you for reading.

Edit: No, I cannot just 'be a boy' I am thirteen living in a very conservative lgbt-phobic household, and I'm not trans.

Link to original thread: Link

Hey again, I posted here a while ago because I was really unsure whether I’m truly trans or if my transition was based on unhealthy patterns. I just want to thank everyone who responded so kindly and openly back then – it really meant a lot.

I wanted to share a bit of an update, because I’ve done a lot of thinking lately.
What I’ve realized is this: I’m not necessarily upset about being trans. I’m upset about how people treat me since I transitioned. And that shift has triggered a lot of doubt, anger, grief, and shame.

I feel like I have less impact now than I did before. People used to ask for my opinion more often. I felt like I was taken seriously, especially in discussions or technical conversations. Now, even my two closest friends treat me differently – they interrupt me more, assume I need help with things, or comment on what I say in this weird patronizing tone.

Some examples that really got to me:

• I told a friend about a small coding project I was working on, and he said, “Aw, cute that you're into that stuff.” He would’ve never said that to me before.
• Another friend told me I’ve become “softer and more emotional” – and he didn’t mean it in a nice way.
• And honestly, I get sexualized way more now, even in completely normal situations. A random guy on the street complimented my “hot look” in the middle of a boring conversation. My DMs are full of stuff that just makes me feel gross. That never used to happen.

This sense of not being taken seriously runs deep. And it really chips away at my self-worth.
Sometimes I catch myself missing the way people treated me when I was just “some guy with opinions” – not because I want to be a man again, but because I feel so small and invisible sometimes now.

I also realized I never really learned how to express my needs or doubts openly. I kept my uncertainty to myself for so long because I was scared it would mean I’m “not trans enough.” But maybe doubt is just part of being human.

If anyone else has experienced this – especially this feeling of losing status or being perceived as “less” after transitioning – I’d really appreciate hearing how you’ve dealt with it. Thanks for reading. ❤️

Trans man here currently struggling with finding a way to come out to my parents. They are generally really invested in my life (as in, caring and interested), but they are a bit ignorant when it comes to LGBTQIA+ topics. I think they will have a hard time accepting my identity, and I have been horrified of telling them. So I wanted to ask how you all came out to your parents and why you choose to do it the way you did it. Maybe that'll help me figure out the best option for myself.

i (16ftm) have been socially transitioned since i was 13 and recently came out to my parents in october 2024. i left my dad a letter and he said he needed time to process and that he wasnt going to show my mum bc he was afraid this would affect her health (eg have a heart attack). but then he did show her, or she found it, idk, and she was weirdly suppportive and hugged me and told me not to ever worry about not telling her something like that. but then they just continued on like nothing had changed at all, still calling me their daughter ect, until my mum completely lost it. she began with sympathy saying we can "go to get my hormones checked"?? even tho that makes no sense and nurtured me bc clearly i was the one upset, but then she completely switched up. now she constantly has tantrums (in public) over her luck of having me as a kid and why couldnt she just have a normal daughter like everyone else, saying she sacrificed so much to come to this country (australia) and my future is ruined and im ungrateful. how the way i dress and forcefully deepen my voice is causing her pain and ruining her life, and shes not even joking. shes depressed. its fucking ridiculous. my older sister moved out and my dad is rarely home, and we have no family here. im all she has and she thinks im the one ruining that when shes the one acting irrationally and childish. idk what to do. i cant believe how she could even be so disgusted at me for simply dressing and identifying how im comfortable and happy. i dont want her to be alone but i just cant stand to be around her anymore.

What do i do? I came out to my parents not that long ago but nothing has changed, they were supportive and everything but still make refrences to the fact that i'm a 'girl' call me she and stuffs. Sure i didnt really elaborate on a lot of stuff but when i came out i was bawling my eyes out. I know they're supportive but they just chose to kinda ignore it. I really wanna talk to them about it but i don't know how to bring it up and it'll get really awkward.

Hey there. I'm an adult trans man who lives in the Midwest. My mom is going to Florida for a procedure that is much cheaper to have done at a place in Orlando, and she wants me to come along. We have a very complicated relationship, so let's just sum it up by saying she's a narcissist who is very dependent on me, and honestly I depend on her in a few ways too. She's been very iffy with my transition, too. She doesn't call me her son, my name, anything. Well, unless we're around someone who thinks I'm valid; in which case she switches her tune to supportive loving mother.

I mention my mom because I feel like I need to tread lightly here if I need to get out of it, as she is very quick to cut people off over any perceived slight. I cannot afford to do that right now though.

I'm honestly just so terrified of being detained over something stupid, or getting in trouble for using the damn men's room. I'm also afraid of the plane dropping out of the sky since, well, you know.

Should I be really concerned? Does anyone have a good news story I can present to her that might convince her that I could be in danger? Is Orlando fine? Am I, in general, fucked for traveling within my country right now? I haven't legally changed any documents so everything shows my deadname and F.

Also, I do apologize for contributing to the common post of "should I go to Florida," but I feel like this is also a cry for help regarding my transphobic mother.

Thanks in advance, all!

A little backstory. I've felt that I was born in the wrong since I was 9 years old but have not done anything about it. Just up until last summer when I consumed a certain piece of art that I realized that I must be transgender (also that I relate to everything on r / egg can be a certain sign) . Well, now at a very unfortunate age of 26 I've started to look for help but the earliest I can start transitioning is 3 years and I haven't even gotten the gender dysphoria diagnosis (small city, small country = long ass wait times).

I at least have had a person to talk about all of this with (she is amazing) but she is now hurt and on paid-leave so I can't take this up with her. So I'm asking here, should I just avoid it? Try to power through? Thoughts?

Hi! Soy yo, 17 years, trans girl. I finally got makeup and began to wear it–my Republican school is just ignoring me, which seems ideal. I'm new to it, not the best, but not the worst. I'd say it looks better than no makeup; I'm not that bad.

It was feeling great. I loved the experience. And then, about 5 days after I started doing it, the high crashed. Slowly, at first. Thursday I had a few thoughts like What are you doing? You look like a guy in lip gloss and mascara; this is absurd. Nobody is saying anything because it is odd and it looks bad. American mannerisms will keep them from commenting because they don't want to be rude. Didn't enjoy that, but it only happened a bit. Flash forward to Friday, and it was happening constantly.

Putting it on—This is absurd, you're messing up. Walking to the car—No turning back now, you've really screwed up. About half of the time during school—You look bad. + General feeling like this is absurd and it's pointless and I just can't do it right.

Which brings me to my question. What the fck* is that? I don't look that bad; I was constantly checking with my phone or mirrors . I've checked with my friends. Objectively,* it doesn't look bad. So why those thoughts?

My leading theories are that it's a byproducts of being self-conscious now that I'm putting effort into my appearance (believe it or not I didn't care about that as a dude), and a lot of fears about being trans. But it seems really weird to me because I was fine Monday through Wednesday. I guess my question is does anyone know what's going on, or have they had the same thing? My other guess is I didn't care at first because I was too busy feeling euphoric, but once that faded a little self-consciousness was noticeable.

Anyway, that's a long rant for something that doesn't matter that much. Thank you so much for reading, and have an amazing day!

*Objective beauty standards don't exist. But my friends say it looks good, I think it looks good. I'm very certain it looks good.

I'm a trans girl and I found out that I was trans at 13 and started transitioning at that age and sometimes throughout the day I feel scared that I'll detransiton in the future and I got a notification from r/actual_detrans and the person also started transitioning at 13 but ended up detransitioning and it makes me scared I've even tried imagining what boy I'd be but makes me uncomfortable and every adult in my life thinks that this is a phase but it doesn't feel like it they say I was too young even though they've all described me as always mature for my age (which I don't think is really true) and I can only envision myself as a woman especially in the future and I haven't been experiencing gender dysphoria as of late I just don't feel anything I've even told myself that I was a boy a few time but it didn't feel right and it even made me feel sick and I do live in a transphobic area with a transphobic family and I've gotten use to them calling me my deadname and he and it's almost like oh I'm a boy with them even though I'm now what do I do?

Sorry if something is wrong, english is not my first language. I'm a cis woman but I don't feel like a real girl compared with the others. But I don't understand why. I look at myself in the mirror and I can only see something pretending to be a girl. Some people even say I'm not feminine enough and it hurts a lot. Being neurodivergent also doesn't help. Is gender disphoria being cisgender possible? Why?

I came out to so people last week. Now that they use my new name, I feel glad that they do it. But at the other hand it feels weird. Could that be because of hearing my old name for so long? Or does it mean that it isnt the right name for me?

I did my research to reach these meds but I’m worried an actual trans person would know immediately I was wrong lolol so if these are not the meds, what meds should I have on her night table instead?

It’s important because I’m never directly calling her trans I just want it to be established by background stuff like this, so it needs to be accurate

I'm sorry if this is interpreted as a transphobic question!
I mean overall I prefer being a woman.
I just don't really feel motivated to transition, don't have a lot of dysphoria and don't want lose all the social benefits from staying a man...

I'm pretty sure I'm trans (MtF) and I plan going on HRT in future. I'll really soon turn 15 and I wonder if taking puberty blockers would still prevent some unwanted effects of incorect puberty and possibly give me some advantages in future. I've heard that puberty blockers can increase your height and I wonder if that's true. I'm pretty tall (5'10/177cm) right now so I wouldn't want get taller.

edit: I started puberty at the age of 12

I'm a cis woman. I have PCOS though. I've had less than 30 periods in my life, even though I'm 22. I don't grow facial hair, but the rest of the hair on my body is really dark and thick. My voice kind of fluctuates and cracks like I'm still in puberty. I assume it's because I have high testosterone for a woman, but I don't know for certain. Maybe I'm just awkward or something.

The thing is, at one point, I learned that PCOS is defined as an intersex condition, and that made me feel better for a while. Then a friend of mine, who is trans, said that it wasn't really the same, and I feel rotten about it. I wasn't trying to compare my experience to their way more dramatic experience of transitioning and trying to get people to respect their pronouns and dealing with bigotry and all that. I've never been called a man or anything. The closest thing was being bullied for my hairy legs in school and feeling bothered whenever other girls talked about being on their periods.

The thing is, while it might seem strange, I actually really like being on my period. Sure, the cramps hurt, but it makes me feel connected to the generations of women before me, if that makes sense. But I haven't had a period in almost three years, if I were to guess.

Overall, do you guys feel offended at the idea of me calling these feelings gender dysphoria? I saw a previous post from a few years ago from another cis girl asking a very similar question, but the contents were deleted, so I could only guess at the context, though the responses seemed positive.

Sorry if this is too much information or anything, I've just been feeling increasingly depressed, and wasn't sure how to bring this up to anyone.

This is more of a pet peeve whoever I buy a pair of thifh highs they only go up to my knees and I want some thigh highs that go up to my thighs granted I have long legs as a trans womecan anyone recommend me a store/ seller who makes actual thigh thighs socks