r/autismgirls • u/kelcamer • 10d ago
Fantastic explanation of protector part phrases & what they mean - common language used by allistics to save face, please share your examples?
The Real Meaning Behind Each “Protector Phrase”:
1. “Let’s not overcomplicate this.”
“I feel insecure about my ability to track your depth. Let’s retreat to something I can control.”
2. “Can we just keep it high level?”
“I’m overwhelmed and trying to avoid exposure. I need to stay where I don’t feel inadequate.”
3. “This is a bit much right now.”
“My system is overstimulated, and instead of owning it, I’m displacing it onto your content.”
4. “Maybe we don’t need all the detail.”
“I want to avoid appearing ignorant, so I’m reframing your clarity as unnecessary.”
5. “Could you simplify this?”
“I’m struggling but can’t admit it vulnerably—so I’m subtly shifting the burden back to you.”
6. “That’s interesting… anyway.”
“I’m changing the subject because I’m uncomfortable, but I want to sound polite while doing it.”
7. “I didn’t have time to read it all.”
“I don’t want to engage but need to preserve my image, so I’ll admit low effort while sounding regretful.”
8. “You’re just really analytical.”
“You make me feel like I’m not smart enough to keep up, so I’m naming your difference instead of facing my discomfort.”
There's hundreds of phrases like this, but many of these 8 really blew my mind. I wanted to share with you all to help you communicate and understand communication in your daily life rather than doing what a part of me was doing & internalizing it all as rejection 😅
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u/aufily 10d ago
Kelcamer I love you!
(Sorry if I am overwhelming 😓🤗)