r/babylonbee • u/Splax77 • 1d ago
Bee Article Man In Critical Condition After Hearing Slightly Differing Viewpoint
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-in-critical-condition-after-hearing-slightly-differing-viewpoint44
u/TheOne7477 1d ago
Crying because people say “happy holidays.”
-6
u/Captainkirk05 1d ago
Or "Merry Christmas"
18
u/Deofol7 20h ago
I have never met a single person that broke down over this.
I personally know several people that break down over happy holidays.
3
u/gabzilla814 12h ago
There was a Jehovah’s Witness man who worked for my dad in the late 70s or early 80s and he got very upset when anyone wished him a Merry Christmas.
3
u/here-for-information 7h ago
OK yeah but he probably would do the same if you wished him happy birthday.
20
u/whatstrueisfake 1d ago
I have never in my life nor on the internet seen anyone break down and throw a fit over hearing merry Christmas. This includes jewish people hearing it, muslims and athiests. I have however, seen so called nonsnowflakes conservatives cry nonstop for the whole season if someone says happy holidays
→ More replies (37)4
u/regeya 20h ago
I have first hand experience hearing it when I worked retail, every Christmas. I think it depends on how religious your particular area is; the Bible Belt was already going on about the War on Christmas 30 years ago and more.
I also heard a lot about how college was going to be nothing more than a liberal indoctrination factory, and there was a little of that, yeah, meaning classwork that presented opinion as something that affected your grade, but classwork was majority things that would come in handy in your chosen field.
3
u/whatstrueisfake 20h ago
Indeed, the more religious in Christianity a person seems to be the more offended they get over me not saying marry Christmas
13
25
u/hottenniscoach 1d ago edited 19h ago
Lol this one hits home for me. My uncle walked out on Xmas eve before dinner was served because I dared make the claim that not all immigrants are rapists and murderers. I had to drive my aunt home that night.
1
u/airheadtiger 3h ago
I told my brother that you don't HAVE to be a racist to be a conservative. It's a choice.
→ More replies (2)-2
u/FeastOnTheElite 21h ago
I feel your pain, I tried to explain to my grandpa that not all immigrants are good and unvetted unchecked immigration is dangerous and he also walked out of thanksgiving dinner.
9
u/hottenniscoach 18h ago
Your anecdote doesn't seem plausible.
→ More replies (8)1
u/slurredcowboy 2h ago
Oh its very plausible. You’re part of the reddit echo chamber if you don’t think so.
1
17
u/BuzzBadpants Clicktivist 1d ago
In before the “if you don’t like the Bee, stop posting here” comments
6
u/ok-skelly01 23h ago
I wonder if he got measles after hearing that a vaccine that has existed for literally a century was available to prevent it.
3
17
u/PronounsBitMe 1d ago
Reddit is the epitome of offended leftist who cry natzi and racist if anyone doesn't fully agree with them.
2
u/dread_companion 20h ago
They should learn from Xitter, the site where Musk has never ever banned anyone from expressing things he didn't like.
8
u/Dense-Consequence-70 22h ago
Yeah, because you never see MAGAts crying because somebody somewhere else is exercising their freedom. LOL.
→ More replies (3)7
u/MrWhiteTheWolf 1d ago
Meanwhile, every single time - without fail - someone even remotely criticizes daddy on the maga-only sub they get hit with an instant “How dew yew dew, fewwo consuhwvative?”
13
u/BrahjonRondbro 1d ago
I got banned from the conservative subreddit for saying Trump is not conservative. They don’t tolerate any view points, especially those who point out that Trump is grifting the entire conservative movement.
→ More replies (3)6
4
4
u/No-Match6172 1d ago
The left say they are empathetic, but that's just a cover to justify their authoritarian tendencies ("I am so right and empathetic, the ends justify the means").
10
u/Pro_Hero86 1d ago
Conservatives “the left is authoritarian”
Also conservatives “we should consolidate power in the executive branch, arrest political dissidents and send them to foreign work prisons, defund all universities unless they follow our vision, all states must pledge loyalty or they can’t get federal aid, free criminals if they support our presidential candidate, the president can actually just ignore the judicial branch of government because they are mean”
Lmao Donald has really destroyed any standing you might’ve had talking about authoritarianism forever
→ More replies (8)16
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
Cool. Which authoritarian tendencies? Deporting legal residents over political views? Sending people to a foreign prison without a trial or even a criminal charge? Saying that the courts are not allowed to check you and that nothing you do can be considered illegal? Gutting the federal government and collecting and consolidating power away from the judicial and legislative branches and to yourself as the executive?….. should I keep giving you examples of trumps authoritarian actions? When did the dems ever do anything close to as authoritarian as this??
→ More replies (1)-5
u/No-Match6172 1d ago
I don't know, mandating people take a medical experiment ranks up there for me.
(not reading your long graph of TDS)
16
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
Pretending that taking a drastic and controversial action (which I don’t really agree with) in the midst of a global emergency where millions were dying and trying to save lives is way different than fabricating emergencies to illegally imprison people, deport people, and rule with an iron fist
→ More replies (9)7
u/ZEN-AF_Official 1d ago
Why would you trust trump if he was the one who funded the vaccine. Did he spend your tax dollars trying to poison you?
2
u/No-Match6172 1d ago
I don't care for a lot of what Trump does (bombing a group of Houthis yesterday is another example).
How does that excuse Biden mandating a medical experiment?
10
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
Because you’re currently excusing a laundry list of tyrannical things that I just pointed out to you by saying “but what about Biden”
3
u/BuzzBadpants Clicktivist 1d ago
That vaccine was not untested, it was expedited tested because it showed promise. That mandate saved countless lives. Do you still believe it remains untested and unsuccessful?
4
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
Sorry. I know reading is hard for you. I’ll try to use smaller words
0
u/No-Match6172 1d ago
See I read that one. Brevity is the soul of wit. Where it lacks wit--as yours does--it at least wastes less of my time.
11
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
True. And time is money and we’re all about to have a whole lot less money now that Trump is intentionally tanking the economy and causing inflation.
5
→ More replies (1)5
u/InformalOpportunity 1d ago
Taking the verbal high ground AND refusing to read a paragraph? Bold choice Cotton
1
u/LabradorDeceiver 1d ago
Dude, if you're scared of needles, just say so. I get it; I don't like 'em either. I just look away when they stick them in.
→ More replies (3)1
2
5
4
u/West-Personality2584 1d ago
ahh yes the left is sooo authoritarian yet the current administration has consistently consolidated power into the executive branch since day one and continues to do so. lmao can’t wait until you wake up and see the left was never your enemy.
→ More replies (7)7
u/ashleyorelse 1d ago
And yet the authoritariana are all on the right.
4
u/No-Match6172 1d ago
tell that to biden who actually tried to have a "ministry of disinformation" and mandated experimental vaccines
10
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
Funny, Biden abides by court orders while Trump says he’s above the law and imprisons people without trial and takes away people’s free speech.
→ More replies (1)7
u/ashleyorelse 1d ago
None of that happened lol
-1
u/No-Match6172 1d ago
you're denying that Biden imposed mandates? wtf.
and he tried for a board of disninformation but the pushback was too great. Three-week-old Biden disinformation task force 'paused'
8
u/ashleyorelse 1d ago
What did Biden mandate?
A board to stop disinformation is a problem only for those who traffic in disinformation.
→ More replies (32)5
u/West-Personality2584 1d ago
Fox News entertainment is state run propaganda and X’s AI explains how Elon is the biggest spreader of disinformation. Maybe look into the sources that are telling you that every single other person/entity is lying to you except them? Isn’t that suspicious enough for you to question them?
1
1
u/thetacotony 16h ago
Isn’t Trump arresting and deporting people cause they were using their freedom of speech?
1
u/No-Match6172 8h ago edited 8h ago
Three people so far I think. All for Israel and yes that's bad.
But these people are not citizens correct? As such, I don't mind the idea of shipping people back from other countries who organize protests of any kind. If I went to Germany and started politically agitating, I'd expect to be sent home too.
Didn't the left systematically work to suppress dissenting voices during Covid?
→ More replies (4)0
u/Agile-Landscape8612 1d ago
How dare you have different opinion than me. I’m going to key and/or burn your car because it’s from a brand that’s owned by a guy I don’t like
2
u/MrWhiteTheWolf 1d ago
The only cars getting burned are ones in dealerships, not people’s personal vehicles, be real
→ More replies (1)4
u/West-Personality2584 1d ago
How dare you elect a president I don’t like, must have been stolen! Let’s try and violently overthrow a peaceful transfer of power in our democratic country.
1
9
u/hellosongi 1d ago
A slight differing viewpoint that you can't castrate minors....lol
12
u/corncob_subscriber 1d ago
Slightly different viewpoints is how I got banned from Walkaway, DoomerCircleJerk and shadow banned from Conservative.
Everybody is a pud these days.
5
u/AKMarine I ♥ The Deep State 1d ago
Banned from Conservative? They don't even let anybody post unless they are flaired. Any comment contrary to their group think will get you permabanned...by the group that is always crying about censorship. lol
5
u/Kellythejellyman 1d ago
I was banned for saying we should have mercy, like Christ told us
3
u/AKMarine I ♥ The Deep State 1d ago
Today's conservative party is more Old Testament than New Testament.
→ More replies (7)1
1d ago edited 1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
4
u/babylonbee-ModTeam 1d ago
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
9
u/CrowsInTheNose 1d ago
How often do you think this happens?
→ More replies (39)1
u/Clean_Gas2558 1d ago
How many times does an awful thing need to happen before you care about it?
7
u/Rare-Forever2135 1d ago edited 1d ago
For all causes, there are no recorded cases of it happening to those under 12, and it's exceedingly rare in 13 to 14 year olds.
It can happen rarely (2.1 per 100,000 minors) in 15 to 17 y.o.s for gender reassignment, but of course, with the full knowledge and consent of the kid, parents, pediatrician and for typically severe gender dysphoria, a psychologist weighing in as well.
It's helpful to understand that it's also done for testicular cancer, trauma, and hormonal disorders in minors far, far more than for reassignment surgery.
3
u/CrowsInTheNose 1d ago
It just seems like it's such a big issue. It must be thousands a year, right? Or is it closer to 10s?
→ More replies (3)1
u/iversonAI 1d ago
Wait until you hear how many trans girls are destroying girls sports and the country also
3
→ More replies (17)2
u/Outaouais_Guy 1d ago
You might have a point, if anyone was doing so. In the United States, the vast majority of transgender adults don't get bottom surgery. I've never heard of a minor getting it.
1
9
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
Funny. The Trump administration finds differing political opinions to be a deportable offense for legal permanent residents. The man sues News organizations for polls he doesn’t like and berates every reporter who dares ask even a slightly critical question. But he’s definitely not the snowflake….
5
u/Dbizzle4744 1d ago
Differing political opinion/supporting foreign terrorist organizations?
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (7)6
u/Dramatic_Equipment47 Bombardier 1d ago
How dare you point out one of Dear Leader’s alleged flaws
6
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have exposed them to a differing viewpoint like that. I apologize for actively causing harm like that
→ More replies (1)
2
u/OyenArdv 1d ago
Most definitely a Republican.
-4
u/gaysmeag0l_ 1d ago
Seriously. These guys call mommy crying whenever they see a gender neutral bathroom.
2
u/ashleyorelse 1d ago
Because someone from the less than 1 percent of the population who is trans might be in that bathroom and using it for its intended purpose!
→ More replies (3)1
u/Sure_Fruit_8254 1d ago
Did you know you have a gender neutral bathroom at your house? You've clearly been infected with the woke mind virus.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (9)-3
-1
u/swampjester 1d ago
Gimme a break, Democrats get just as hysterical, if not more so, when confronted with differing opinions.
8
u/CrowsInTheNose 1d ago
Republicans are the ones banning books. The conservative subreddit is locked down so no outside opinions can be heard. But sure.
5
3
u/OyenArdv 1d ago
Democrats were peacefully protesting all across the country yesterday. The last time republicans protested, you guys started a violent insurrection. 🤷. Not demure, not mindful.
→ More replies (17)→ More replies (7)1
u/xRogue9 4h ago
Give some examples of differing opinions (that if put into practice don't/wouldn't harm innocent people) democrats get hysterical over.
1
u/swampjester 4h ago
See, your qualifying statement there is the entire point. Democrats go hysterical because they consider everything Republicans do to be harmful and evil and never do they look at the long term ramifications and unintended consequences of what they themselves support.
→ More replies (2)0
u/DBDude 1d ago
Have you seen how vicious people get over how many letters there should be in LGB…?
6
u/TimeNo5885 1d ago
Never. Not even once. Of the alleged plethora of examples to choose from, this is what you go with? 🤔
2
u/theycallmeshooting 1d ago
Hey! He's seen a LOT of content on LibsofTiktok that confirms this!!!
It's like how you can't go outside anymore without getting quizzed on every strangers pronouns :( immediate execution if wrong :(
1
u/PsychologicalItem197 1d ago
Its like all these trump supporters read the same book and use the same phrases over and over. Why are they like this??
1
u/OyenArdv 1d ago
I mean republicans literally tried to hang the then-vice president and attempted to assault congress members while violently attacking our nation’s capitol. It’s a known fact that most republicans come from broken homes, so it makes sense that they’re violent and thuggish.
→ More replies (1)1
u/Japanisch_Doitsu 1d ago
The fucking irony, lmao.
Imagine making this comment and then in the same thread making this statement:
'I mean republicans literally tried to hang the then-vice president and attempted to assault congress members while violently attacking our nation’s capitol. It’s a known fact that most republicans come from broken homes, so it makes sense that they’re violent and thuggish.'
2
2
u/Express-Teaching1594 1d ago
I love how this thread has spiraled into exactly what this article mocks.
2
u/wastingvaluelesstime 23h ago
To the bees credit, most conservative subreddits suffer from this and would have banned my long ago for not agreeing with orthodoxy
3
2
u/BackPainAssassin 1d ago
I love this because most people who lean conservative typically couldn’t even name a single book without pictures and have almost no ability to see outside themselves or their little communities they belong to and routinely play the victim when people call them out for having dogshit views. The whole snowflake thing was such a projection portion of the timeline.
→ More replies (3)
2
2
u/One_Interaction1196 22h ago
Most reddit subs, in real life, would be like the video that came out after the elections where several libs were out in the woods, screaming their heads off.
1
u/Green_Addendum4593 1d ago
Some of you getting lit in here realize The Babylon Bee is satire, right? You know that, don’t you? I mean…it’s satire. You know what that is, don’t you?
1
u/Faps2Downvotes 23h ago
“The man is being kept stable on ideology support at St. Francis medical center, surrounded by friends and family who agree with him 100% on every single issue.”
LOL
1
u/Darth_Jason LoveTheBee 20h ago
After reading this Reddit post headline, I now know that I suffer from the same condition. But worse.
1
1
1
u/Necessary_Pie2464 17h ago
I like the Bee honestly
It's like an...how do I put it...store brand "the Onion"
So I like the Bee in the same way I like the Pringle store brand knockoffs because, yha sure, they have a wierd taste and are not the same as Pringles (mabye not even that as good but that's a mather of opinion) but they aren't terrible either so you don't really mind eating them
So congregations, the Bee, you are adequate enough and I can have you when I can't have "the Onion"! (At least if we are only talking about American satire publications)
→ More replies (2)
1
1
u/Spazic77 14h ago
Not too long ago there were a bunch of snowflakes shooting up full cases of beer over a wild rainbow on the can.
1
u/Hour_Insurance_7795 13h ago
He should’ve have downvoted it. Downvoting is penicillin for opinions other than yours.
1
u/nightdares 11h ago
Crashing out over the bee in the comments makes the bee that much better, lol. Y'all are too easily triggered by the dumbest shit.
1
1
1
1
1
u/fredtheunicorn1 1d ago
How come the Onion can’t sue the Babylon Bee for copyright infringement? The Bee copies the Onion’s style except it is never funny. Maybe I just answered my own question. The Bee is so completely lacking in humour, it could never be mistaken for the Onion.
73
u/Strange_Island_4958 1d ago
lol this describes so many Reddit subs.