lost my sweet baby today

[u/fruitcloud]

Haven’t slept nor fully accepted the reality of my baby boy, Mac leaving this world today. He was my very first cat, had him since his birth & lost him way too soon. Just a couple days ago he started acting different, not eating/drinking, hiding, then last night breathing abnormally. Took him to the emergency vet at midnight, he was immediately diagnosed with heart failure & fluid build up around his lungs. Can’t get over that I could not help him more, I feel guilty that I didn’t have enough money for all the tests, treatments/surgeries & putting him to sleep so young. He was only 4 years old with a birthday coming up in April & a baby due the same month. Never expected him to leave so soon & always imagined him an old man with a long 20+ yr life, growing alongside my baby. All I could say to him in the end was “I’m so sorry & I love you so much” over & over again. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for this, I just wish he knew how much I will always love & cherish him.

[u/[deleted]]

Hey. Please be nicer to yourself. Please take it someone with enough money for the procedures and tests. My cat still has a lot of health issues and I’m not sure how much longer I get with him. It’s not something that’s your fault in any way. I randomly guilt myself for not finding him years earlier, or for any time I’ve ever been too busy for him. It’s not a logical guilt. It’s just sadness trying to find a way to express itself.

Money could not have helped. Power couldn’t have either. Nothing could have. This is the deal we make loving them. It’s a perfect love, but they just can’t make it as long as we can. It was never going to be enough time.

Be gentle on yourself. You’ve suffered enough. Thank you for loving Mac.