r/blackcats • u/fruitcloud • Jan 17 '25
Mourning lost my sweet baby today
Haven’t slept nor fully accepted the reality of my baby boy, Mac leaving this world today. He was my very first cat, had him since his birth & lost him way too soon. Just a couple days ago he started acting different, not eating/drinking, hiding, then last night breathing abnormally. Took him to the emergency vet at midnight, he was immediately diagnosed with heart failure & fluid build up around his lungs. Can’t get over that I could not help him more, I feel guilty that I didn’t have enough money for all the tests, treatments/surgeries & putting him to sleep so young. He was only 4 years old with a birthday coming up in April & a baby due the same month. Never expected him to leave so soon & always imagined him an old man with a long 20+ yr life, growing alongside my baby. All I could say to him in the end was “I’m so sorry & I love you so much” over & over again. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for this, I just wish he knew how much I will always love & cherish him.
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u/OppaaHajima Jan 18 '25
My condolences.
I lost a cat to heart failure, too, except I had insurance and was able to get him some care. However, once it has reached the point of fluid build up in the lungs, you’re most likely not looking at recovery, so even if you were you to treat him you’d be merely buying time, and not much of it. And during that time you’d have to watch him slowly fade away, lose function little by little, become unable to do any of the things he used to, and become a very different, sickly cat, which is heartbreaking to watch.
Sometimes I wonder if it would have been kinder to merely let him go sooner and not have to watch him become a shell of himself before passing. Not saying one option is better than the other — they’re both shitty, heart-rending choices that no one should ever have to make. But just know that even if you went the other route, it wouldn’t have been any less unpleasant for both you and your baby. I don’t know if that’s much consolation, but take it for what it’s worth.