r/depression • u/ArmadilloVegetable77 • 1d ago

My therapist asked me whether I was looking forward to anything no matter how small and I couldn’t answer her.

After some time I finally said I only look forward to sleep because it’s the only time I’m unconscious.

I’m realising I don’t really have anything I look forward to. Just living day to day waiting for it all to end. I don’t have any particular goals. I’ve never imagined myself making it this far (I’m 28), so now that I’m here I don’t know what to do. What even is the point anymore?

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15

u/Junior_Lavishness_96 1d ago

I often have that same feeling. Nothing to look forward to. Find simple things, like having coffee or eating, or sleeping in bed.

8

u/ArmadilloVegetable77 1d ago

Literally, sleeping is my only joy

5

u/downwithsocks 1d ago

I was this way for years. even when I couldn't sleep longer but also couldn't get out of bed I found some joy in laying there with the fan blowing over me. But eventually I learned that if I can enjoy something so simple and effortless even though everything sucks then I need to start giving enjoying small things more in general a chance. And it really was the key for me

6

u/sleep-d-prived 1d ago

It’s hard to look forward to something when you don’t enjoy life.

3

u/devilkitty8 22h ago

I feel this… Everything I want to do I can’t afford. All my dreams will take so much money to create, even if I ever get to it’s so many years from now. I feel depressed about it everyday bc I’ll just have to keep working this dead end job forever..

1

u/ArmadilloVegetable77 12h ago

Literally in the same boat with you. Money really is a huge factor, huh? Even in getting the help we need. Hope things start looking up for you

2

u/Tall_Inspection1664 1d ago

Sleep too. Is when I'm not bothered by anything

1

u/Ok_Pea_4393 22h ago

I would say this is pretty normal among depressives. For some, it takes a more concerted effort to create such things, as well as to make note of little joys throughout the week. 

For many people, I imagine they aren’t always consciously looking forward to much necessarily, as life can be pretty mundane. They may be looking forward to lunch or watching a movie later. 

I say this to help assert that it’s OK to not have something to look forward to necessarily. It’s OK to be surviving sometimes. Healing from depression is more about self care and making helpful decisions, as well as commitments. My concern is that if you fixated on “lacking” things to look forward too, it could make you feel isolated or abnormal. 

1

u/ArmadilloVegetable77 11h ago

True, having something to look forward to isn’t always necessary. I used to take note of what you call little joys. I’d do a little section in my journal listing things i’m grateful for. But i feel like by doing that it has the opposite effect because it’s like i’m scrambling for any little thing. Almost like i’m just being blindly optimistic, and then i feel stupid

1

u/throwawayno123456789 1d ago

This is the very definution of depression

It is a symptom, not reality

Luckily there are a bunch of treatments now that work for many people. It may take a bit to find the combo that works for you.

Source: Been there. After lots of trial and error, no longer there

What worked for me was: therapy, quitting drinking, getting treated for an underlying health issue, sleep hygiene, and Wellbutrin. All the pieces fixed some % of the issue and were necessary for me for full recovery. Other people it is a simple as getting the right rx.

1

u/ArmadilloVegetable77 11h ago

Can i ask how did you quit drinking, was it cold turkey or did you slowly wean off? I don’t drink often but when i do i would always binge til i black out

1

u/Ok_Jellyfish_1083 31m ago

Thanks for your encouraging words.