r/funny • u/Zinoux • 8d ago

Today we will eat sweet potatoes

Post image
6.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

249 comments sorted by

•

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218

u/Berns429 8d ago

If your sweet potato remains this way for more than 4 hours seek medical attention

15

u/HendrixHazeWays 8d ago

I thought you were a Yam but I can see yer nuts

571

u/IceBone 8d ago

Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em up your arse!

126

u/Haselrig 8d ago

Order of operations is critical here.

50

u/Major_R_Soul 8d ago

Boil it, stick it up your ass, and then mash it

27

u/Haselrig 8d ago

Don't make me wheel out the overhead projector again!

11

u/GANDORF57 8d ago

The little lady's gonna appreciate a change of diet besides cucumbers and zucchinis.

3

u/idwlalol 8d ago

sure! what kind of jar should i use?

12

u/gin_and_toxic 8d ago

No precious! I prefer it raw and fishy!

2

u/McGarnegle 8d ago

"she's just mashing it"

2

u/garitone 8d ago

What up? It's just a bicep.

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238

u/Blew-By-U 8d ago

Reminds me of my husband’s penis.

Why, is it that big?

No it’s that dirty.

112

u/smk666 8d ago

Might look like three inches but smells like a foot!

37

u/Flangepacket 8d ago

Dear lord

20

u/clover44mag 8d ago

Two Amish women are digging potatoes in a field.

First woman digs out a huge potato and says "wow, just like my husbands!"

Second lady says, "That big!?"

First says, "No, that dirty!"

that's how I've always told it

3

u/Blue_Bird950 7d ago

“Husbands”

Polyamory goes hard

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12

u/gin_and_toxic 8d ago

Sweet and starchy?

5

u/Labudism 8d ago

It's all the worts

3

u/Late_Cupcake750 8d ago

This made me snort my tea.

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58

u/LizardKing11 8d ago

That is what I call a Dic-tator!

56

u/djharlock 8d ago

You were so close, Dic-tater*

4

u/LizardKing11 8d ago

Eh, tomato - tomato, but yes B- for me.

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2

u/2nd_Inf_Sgt 8d ago

Peel it and the color should be close to a fake orange tan.

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35

u/gatorbeetle 8d ago

You go Girl!!!

9

u/TheScienceGiant 8d ago

It’s a turnip shaped almost exactly like a thingie from Black Adder

2

u/SOJC65536 8d ago

Melchett you really are an amateur, you're not even wearing a pair of comedy breasts!!!

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16

u/Cavalier1706 8d ago

Complete with hairs!

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15

u/oscar-the-bud 8d ago

That looks like Joe Rogan’s microphone.

12

u/-Not-Today-Satan 8d ago

Jamie, pull that up for me.

7

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Deadaghram 8d ago

It's so the image won't be banned in Japan. They hate sweet potatoes.

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6

u/moxsox 8d ago

Now starring in “Log Yammin’.

6

u/sloppychachi 8d ago

I heard that it is hard to grow sweet potatoes

5

u/kriebelrui 8d ago

It starts small, but grows with the right care.

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11

u/Dull-Gur314 8d ago

Country girls make do

4

u/Demon1882 8d ago

inch by inch,enjoy

5

u/basswelder 8d ago

Butt stuff first, then dinner

10

u/LeanderT 8d ago

Just make sure you give it a good wank before you cook it.

Edit: wash! I meant wash!

Stupid autocurrect...

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8

u/Loquaciouslovelizard 8d ago

Now that’s what I call a root vegetable

4

u/lifeunbdd 8d ago

Wow hunny, you’ve really been into your vegetables lately!

4

u/pisspantsing 8d ago

Eat a bag of them while you're at it...

3

u/Ecoclone 8d ago

Thats a tuber for sure

7

u/[deleted] 8d ago

r/oddlyerotic

3

u/Dankata_gaming 8d ago

How did the potato turned like that 💀

5

u/DYMongoose 8d ago

With Photoshop

3

u/Banana-phone15 8d ago

Tonight you will eat sweet potato, just not that particular sweet potato. Your partner is saving that for a experiment

3

u/eyesofmay 8d ago

Wtf!!! :D

3

u/216horrorworks 8d ago

That's a Schmeat Potato!

3

u/Ok_Primary_1075 8d ago

“Eat? That’s going up my ____”

3

u/fredflintstone7 8d ago

no wonder you’re proud, indeed a handful

3

u/SemiFormalJesus 7d ago

Both a grower and a shower.

3

u/Complete-Hunt-7507 7d ago

Shoulda used shaving cream for the sensitive bits now they're all red and sore.

3

u/Ok_Camel4555 7d ago

Not a Jewish potato

5

u/[deleted] 8d ago

You first.

3

u/Slammedyetti 8d ago

No NSFW tag !!!

2

u/Weekly_Host_2754 8d ago

Sweet and salty potato

2

u/LookMaNoPride 8d ago

Got a lotta protein in it.

2

u/wengelite 8d ago

Like, later today; after i do some other stuff.

2

u/Nick_from_Yuma 8d ago

Just fuck those minerals right into ya

2

u/BonjinTheMark 8d ago

Or someone’s potatoes

2

u/maddy_shemale 8d ago

Mhmm looks tasty 😂

2

u/humpherman 8d ago

Just like a thingie?

2

u/Mundane-Difficulty29 8d ago

This is a public forum!!! For shame

2

u/dangerous_skirt65 8d ago

I came to see how many people called it a dictator

2

u/Spiritual_Part_614 8d ago

With nutsssss

2

u/GrogStrongjaw 8d ago

Those “balls” look almost too accurate

2

u/Hammer7869 7d ago

The sweetest of the sweet

2

u/14high 7d ago edited 7d ago

Balsy move

2

u/Fawkingretar 7d ago

Country girls make do

2

u/mondomonkey 7d ago

Howbout you... EAT A DICK? 😂

2

u/Time-Pen7218 7d ago

It’s those random strands of root for me 🌝🌝

2

u/vishalsangadi21 7d ago

So it's a new alias for the one eyed monster: "sweet Potato"

2

u/justsay-hi 7d ago

Looks like nature's dildo...cucumbers have some stiff competition...your thoughts ladies?

2

u/-crucible- 7d ago

Everything reminds me of her…

2

u/SomethingAbtU 7d ago

nature got jokes

1

u/Srhm80 8d ago

“Today we eat sweet potatoes the long way”

1

u/Alert_Promotion_4166 8d ago

You WISH your nutsack was as red as this!

1

u/Andy1Brandy 8d ago

Awesome, $15 saved!

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1

u/DopeAFjknotreally 8d ago

Reminds me of the first episode of White Lotus

1

u/TastingTheKoolaid 8d ago

Where’s that ems guy…

1

u/OrdinaryUniversity59 8d ago

Remember to spit on it first.

That potato ain't sweet, it's nasty!

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1

u/axyz77 8d ago

Not like that son.

1

u/ManSharkBear 8d ago

Grown on Yam Ranch by the resistance for convoy truckers

1

u/Abal125 8d ago

The long way? 🤔

1

u/Bobpool82 8d ago

What country does this dictator rule?

1

u/Sunderland6969 8d ago

They look red raw!

1

u/Taurius 8d ago

Little strings of loose white hair. That old boy has been underground for a long time.

1

u/nblastoff 8d ago

Eat a bag of sweet potatoes.

1

u/leviathab13186 8d ago

(Honest Trailer voice) Baaaaalllllllllsssss

1

u/justflushit 8d ago

A real dick tater

1

u/Mbode95 8d ago

Y recuerden amigos, de lo que se come, se cria

1

u/Manaze85 8d ago

“Kelly we have to cook it first. And you eat it…not like that! Kelly stop!”

1

u/berthannity 8d ago

Today, sweet potato is having YOU.

1

u/Zealotstim 8d ago

why is there a sticker on it

1

u/Thalia1234 8d ago

This sweet potato lookin' like it's about to slide into someone's DMs with 'hey u up?

1

u/deep-fucking-legend 8d ago

This one's going through the self-checkout lane

1

u/CanIgetaWTF 8d ago

You can't eat that!

That's a trophy worthy potato. (If it's real)

1

u/Ambitious_Toe_4357 8d ago

This is a drone sweet potato. You save this one so it can make more sweet potatos with the queen sweet potato for next year.

1

u/Househead74 8d ago

Now that is the true meaning of dictator 😂

1

u/bodhiseppuku 8d ago

Hey! This is America, we don't like dick-taters!

1

u/Nacho_Beardre 8d ago

Without even chewing them

1

u/i_am_ur_dad 8d ago

it will sell like hot cakes on /r/usedsextoys

1

u/your_mom_made_me 8d ago

Balls deep in the dirt hole.

1

u/empatheticsoul1 8d ago

That's so funny😁 😂

1

u/SithC 8d ago

Peetato

1

u/Dolatron 8d ago

I’ll pay you $100 for that.

1

u/_Mr_Relic 8d ago

Today she will eat sweet potatoes 🤣🤣

1

u/falloutvaultboy 8d ago

Sure..."eat"

1

u/Sabbathius 8d ago

Reminds me of that time someone mailed a bag of dicks to a game developer. I think it was gummies, and developer was CCP of EVE Online? Possibly? Anyway, they posted about it saying to please include a proper customs form, because when it arrived into the country the government couldn't figure out how much duty to charge on a bag of gummy dicks.

1

u/Fun_Boysenberry_8144 8d ago

No squatting in the sweet potato field.

1

u/Old_Wind_9743 8d ago

Taking that one home.

1

u/OGREtheTroll 8d ago

What up?!

1

u/beakrake 8d ago

Careful how you handle that.

1

u/TheSpanxxx 8d ago

Looks like someone didn't forget the balls. They looked polished up nice

1

u/SnooPuppers7856 8d ago

Don’t ignore the balls. Never ignore the balls.

1

u/Kitkatzz05 8d ago

Haha 🤣

1

u/Selenay1 8d ago

Yep, just another dicktater.

1

u/Trips-Over-Tail 8d ago

I saw this episode of Blackadder.

1

u/PandaParaBellum 8d ago

Already sold and shipped?

1

u/Doorknob6941 8d ago

Better wash it first. It's uncircumsized.

1

u/ThatsNotDietCoke 8d ago

Today you'll suck sweet potatoes!

1

u/Efficient_Comment_50 8d ago

This goes to Danmark for buying F35s

1

u/Capra_06 8d ago

once I heard that some Fruits And Vegetables are Resemble The Body Parts They Support

1

u/Personal_Ice2327 8d ago

Hey man that looks like a ….

1

u/FinalComfortable1999 8d ago

dont forget to rub the....oh nvm

1

u/Revoverjford 8d ago

Circumcise it as a joke (don’t circumcise humans)

1

u/fwafff 8d ago

Gonna use it? ... I mean eat it?

1

u/xleftonreadx 8d ago

That one might be a bit salty

1

u/Timely_Network6733 8d ago

Make sure to bake it in the oven for a bit. Looks a little hard.

1

u/SHH011 8d ago

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

1

u/Monkey-Gland-Sauce 8d ago

Everything reminds me of her.

1

u/VagrantPilgrim 8d ago

I think something awakened in you.

1

u/KevRayAtl 8d ago

Uncut, yum!

1

u/gadao85 8d ago

Some sweet potatoes on that sweet potato

1

u/ExpiredMangoCake 8d ago

I suddenly crave sweet potatoes

1

u/Interesting_Error719 8d ago

I was laughing me fkn ass off with that image

1

u/AngelAlexis9 8d ago

This is the the sixth r/mildypenis post I have seen today and I’m laughing out loud at the algorithm 😭😭😭

1

u/dreampsi 8d ago

Someone’s leaving early today

1

u/Traditional_Wolf5027 7d ago

This belongs in a museum!

1

u/andrewbud420 7d ago

Penistato

1

u/ppross53 7d ago

Holy shmoley!!!! 😬

1

u/sakronin 7d ago

It has a flared base! lol

1

u/Comprehensive_Bat615 7d ago

A SWEET POTATO AND POTATO SACK💀

1

u/Pikminfan300 7d ago

Lmaooooooo

1

u/Bruce_Louis 7d ago

oui

en effet

1

u/PulsarFluxx 7d ago

The core memory of that one episode of good eats where Alton Brown figures out sweet potatoes are called "man yams"

1

u/chesterlynimble 7d ago

*Sweet sweet potatoes

1

u/mypalpaul 7d ago

Ew that thing has veins

1

u/Rude-Phrase-9871 7d ago

Какаето хуевая картошка

1

u/2Punchbowl 7d ago

That’s all you my dude! I’m all sweet potatoed out!