r/highschool • u/proudshihtzuowner Freshman (9th) • 2d ago
Rant My school basically announced that disabled students are burdens
Okay so yesterday students of the month were announced. And this one girl got student of the month for a few reasons, one of them being that apparently at the beginning of the semester, she went up to one of her teachers and asked to be seated next to a student with a disability.
Like. WHAT.
Why? Why is this even something to congratulate? It's like "oh, look at her, she willingly sat next to the disabled kid, what a model she is". Imagine how the disabled kid in question felt hearing that! You're basically telling them "People should be rewarded just for sitting next to you."
I get it was probably done with a good intention but it's so freaking ableist and insensitive. Gosh.
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u/matt7259 2d ago
Did you talk to the student with the disability about their thoughts on this?
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u/13surgeries 2d ago
I hope not. Saying, "Hey, how did you feel about Brittanee getting student of the month for volunteering to sit next to you?" would be a very hurtful thing to do. I think the OP is being realistic in saying that it would make the disabled student feel awful.
I think the OP should probably talk to the principal or student council or whoever determines SOTM.
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u/proudshihtzuowner Freshman (9th) 2d ago
It was anonymous, so I don’t know who they are. But I’ve heard a bunch of other students with disabilities talking about how insensitive it was, and personally as someone with AuDHD, it seemed like a thing someone from Autism Speaks would say.
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u/MsMissMom 8h ago
No one's a hero for this. Sitting next to someone is doing the bare minimum
I'm a special ed teacher who wants my students to be included. I also like those who go above and beyond to be inclusive to recognize how much of an impact they can have on someone else, but not for awards or clout
Being a decent human being is its own reward
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u/Lumpy_Grapefruit8127 2d ago
That’s like the equivalent of asking child predators their opinion banning child molesting.
What a stupid argument
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u/lavendermintchip 1d ago
More like the equivalent of asking a victim how they feel about a registered offender moving to their neighborhood
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u/Funfetti_The_Rat Freshman (9th) 1d ago
Was she friends with the kid who happened to be disabled, or did she just ask to be sat next to ANY disabled kid?
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u/proudshihtzuowner Freshman (9th) 1d ago
I think if they were previously friends there would be no need to mention that on the announcements. Because then it would just be a girl asking to sit next to her friend.
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u/Desperate-Spirit-481 1d ago
I feel similar, because at my school they have two people chosen for each of the four highschool grades. What they do is basically pick from the same ten people and decide which two are student of the month for each grade. Like they are ALWAYS THE SAME TEN PEOPLE! ✨️Like pick me, choose me, love me. 😭😭😭😭😭✨️ I keep my grades up just as much as the rest of them.
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u/old_Spivey 1d ago
I hereby declare you the student of the month for your attention to detail, polite behavior, and willingness to learn and engage with your peers. You do what is expected and get overlooked because you don't call attention to yourself. I fully see and hear you, and I support you in your continued success. You will be recognized later on in life and can rest assured that those who currently overlook you are simply just not tuned in. I salute you!
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u/Denan004 1d ago
It matters because many students are afraid to do it, or don't even consider helping a more vulnerable person.
I had a course where I unintentionally sat next to a deaf girl. She could read lips but when the teacher turned away, she couldn't do it. So she asked for my notes which I gladly gave her.
Disabled people are people too, but are often shunned. It is an accident of birth that you are not disabled.
Be kind, whether it gets publicized or not.
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u/Vegetable_Jicama_181 1d ago
An autistic girl wanted to join our dance group, but no one was willing to partner with her. Our teacher eventually paired me with her, separating me from my original partner. I didn’t mind at first, but I later realized she was struggling with the choreography and missing a lot of steps. As a group, we decided to include her during practice sessions so she could enjoy the experience and be part of the process, but for the actual stage performance, we planned to proceed without her to ensure the routine went smoothly. It fwlt good seeing her happy tho
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u/13surgeries 1d ago
In 25 years of teaching I never had a student who was fearful or reluctant to sit next to a person who had disabilities or hesitant to help them. That is,, when the students KNEW about the disability: many disabilities are invisible. Public school students have had disabled peers in their classrooms all their lives. It would take a pretty weird and outdated attitude on the part of the district to make students reluctant to sit next to a kid with a disability.
I hope the deaf girl was on an IEP, as she should have been, and that the teacher was aware of the problem of her turning away and addressed the issue. I had many hearing-impaired/deaf students over the years, and teachers were always supposed to avoid talking while turned away unless there was an ASL interpreter. In that case, we had to avoid moving in front of the interpreter.
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u/Denan004 20h ago
"I hope the deaf girl was on an IEP, "
That was before the days of IEPs.
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u/13surgeries 17h ago
Then it was before 1975, when the Education for All Handicapped Children Act was passed. (or 1976, when it was widely implemented). Attitudes people with disabilities were very different then, and in most schools, regular ed students had little contact with special ed students. Sincere kudos to you for showing this girl compassion at a time when many people were uncomfortable around people with disabilities. Schools and student attitudes have improved a great deal since back then.
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u/Denan004 5h ago
Well it wasn't quite that far back. But in colleges, I think professors weren't used to accommodating students. And in fairness, it was before the mass use of computers and powerpoints, so the prof often had to turn to write on the blackboard (very necessary in this course).
It's very different now.
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u/InevitableError9517 Normal Adult 2d ago
I don’t want to be harsh but that was probably for the best
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u/sdgeycs 2d ago
It was probably that she was helping the disabled student. And that is worth an award.
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u/Transmasc_Swag737 Junior (11th) 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m disabled, and if someone was nominated student of the month because they sat next to me then I’d be pretty bummed. Not because they sat next to me, but because they were treated like a hero for being so brave as to exist in proximity with someone who’s different. Student of the month is supposed to be a reward given to students who go above and beyond with kindness. Simply sitting next to someone is a completely normal human interaction. If something that’s deemed normal/bare minimum for an able-bodied person is deemed above and beyond when doing it for a disabled person, then the school is holding disabled people at a lower value than able-bodied people— it just reinforces the societal idea that we’re unsightly freaks who don’t inherently have rights to the same baseline human treatment as everyone else. Above and beyond would be something like learning more about an autistic classmate’s special interest in order to talk to them about something they love, or learning phrases in sign language because they want to communicate directly with a deaf classmate rather than through text or an interpreter. Above and beyond takes more effort than just sitting next to the disabled kid.
Of course, I don’t know OP or their school. This person may have been completely qualified for the award in other ways. Maybe the interaction was different, and it was simply a poorly worded way of announcing it. I’m not gonna pretend I know everything based on one reddit post.
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u/sdgeycs 17h ago
Even in the post, it says she got the award for a few reasons. So I’m sure her award wasn’t just because she sat next to a disabled person it’s even really unfair for the OP to be picking on her considering they acknowledge upfront that that was not the reason given for why she got the award. Some people are just looking for a fight.
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u/East_Chest3668 1d ago
As someone’s who’s school allows disabled students in normal classrooms I can tell you at times they can be a sever disruption to the class, the teacher having to deal with their special requirements, outbursts, disruptions, and general need for extra help is a significant drain on class time and I can observe it effecting other students grades and leaning capability when 20 minutes of an hour long class is direct to one student excluding when they scream over instructional time, so yes volunteering to sit next to them can be a significant help to not only them but the teacher and students, unless you are referring to physical disability then that’s messed up
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u/epictis 2d ago
You're right, we should not encourage people to be anywhere near someone with a disability. Imagine if that girl intended to help someone who potentially struggled with school work? The audacity! Or maybe she noticed that someone with a disability seemed to struggle with making friends and socializing and wanted to be their friend. How disgusting. We all know that every single kid with a disability is loved by everyone, never made fun of, and every single highschool kid would jump at the chance to sit next to someone like that.
Anyway, you clearly know the entire story, know exactly everyone involved and every aspect of the situation. It's absolutely ableist to be kind to someone with a disability, you're right. You mentioned you got AuDHD- that is indeed the only disability and puts you in the place to speak for everyone with disability.
Not everything is fucking ableist and insensitive and an affront to humanity. Chill the fuck out, respectfully. I'm so terribly sorry for you if anyone ever wanted to sit by you or be your friend, you clearly don't want that, and that means nobody else possibly could. Oh they basically said this and imagine this it's basically that tells me you're full of it and have personal problems that led to this outrage over nothing.
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u/Captain-Waffle1 2d ago edited 2d ago
It's not that. It's that people are treating being with disabled people as a kindness or charity rather than a normal, human interaction. Imagine if someone who was friends with a black person got praise because they were with someone who was black. It makes the black person feel like a charity case, encourages the idea that black people are a novelty and not something normal, going hand in hand with the false sense of moral superiority. Think about it.
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u/aromenos Moderator | Junior ✔ 2d ago
the difference is one of those groups objectively does struggle with stuff that’s basic to most people. therefore they need extra help, beyond what a normal person would need. so choosing, without incentive or prompt, to go over and help someone who is worse off than you is something that should be rewarded. black people aren’t worse at anything and don’t need extra help, they’re just as capable as any other race, so it wouldn’t make sense unless one individual needed help.
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u/Captain-Waffle1 1d ago
OP's story entailed someone sitting next to a person with a disability. Can you reasonably argue that is helping someone worse off than themselves? Especially if it's a physically disabled person, trying to treat them as if they're a charity case is more annoying and rude than not doing anything at all.
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u/PlaneBed507 Middle Schooler 2d ago
I mean are they not a burden?
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u/twistcookie 1d ago
absolutely not… what that kid did was absolutely wrong.
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u/aromenos Moderator | Junior ✔ 1d ago
and what if she sat next to the kid to help them with schoolwork? what if it was at their request? there’s too many unknowns in this situation for you to make such a big assumption.
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u/Lonely-You-361 1d ago
Sitting next to a disabled student is absolutely wrong? So what just make sure nobody sits near them?
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u/Transmasc_Swag737 Junior (11th) 1d ago edited 1d ago
That’s not the point. I’m disabled, and if someone was nominated student of the month because they sat next to me then I’d be pretty bummed. Not because they sat next to me, but because they were treated like a hero for being so brave as to exist in proximity with someone who’s different. Student of the month is supposed to be a reward given to students who go above and beyond with kindness. Simply sitting next to someone is completely normal. If something that’s deemed normal/bare minimum for an able-bodied person is deemed above and beyond when doing it for a disabled person, then the school is holding disabled people to a lower value than able-bodied people. Above and beyond would be something like learning more about an autistic classmate’s special interest in order to talk to them about something they love, or learning phrases in sign language because they want to communicate directly with a deaf classmate rather than through text or an interpreter. Above and beyond takes more effort than just sitting next to the disabled kid.
Of course, I don’t know OP or their school. This person may have been completely qualified for the award in other ways. Maybe the interaction was different, and it was simply a poorly worded way of announcing it. I’m not gonna pretend I know everything based on one reddit post.
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u/Lonely-You-361 1d ago
But what does any of this have to do with what the kid did? How did the kid do literally anything wrong? It sounds like your whole complaint should be directed towards the school for giving the award. The kid presumably did something nice if we are assuming they didn't do it to like, fuck with them or something, which it doesnt sound like they did, but the school made it a big thing by making an award out of it.
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u/Transmasc_Swag737 Junior (11th) 1d ago
First of all, I am not OP. Second of all, nowhere did OP nor I state that the kid did anything wrong by sitting next to a disabled person. OP’s complaint was addressed towards the school. Could it have been worded better? Yes. OP is saying exactly what you’re saying— that the school shouldn’t make a big thing about someone treating a disabled person like a human. That is the whole point of the post.
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u/PlaneBed507 Middle Schooler 1d ago
It’s not about that in general being a parent of a disabled kid is a burden especially ones with autism and Down syndrome. Idk why shit you downvoters are on if you think they aren’t hard to deal with
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u/AutismDenialDisorder 2d ago
Yeah that's a load virtue signaling bs, no self awareness whatsoever