r/iamverybadass • u/ko1b • Sep 24 '24
đ©ULTIMATE BADASSHOLEđ© Bouncer pulling out his best super villain lines
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u/Sufficient_While_577 Sep 25 '24
I was a bouncer for a year or so, my go to line was âI donât come to your work during the week and give you a hard time, so why do you have to do it to me?â Very rarely did I have to raise my voice or put hands on anybody.
I treated people with respect even when they were being difficult and 9 times out of 10 it worked. Nobodyâs wants to punch the reasonable bouncer (apart from that guy that punched me, he definitely was okay with punching the reasonable bouncer lol).
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u/RequiemRomans Sep 25 '24
Thatâs because the best bouncers have de-escalation skills. Most places who hire smart look for that in the interview process. Any big guy who can throw a punch can be a doorman but if they want someone who wonât get you unnecessarily sued they want someone with both soft and hard skills
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u/guywithsweatshirt Sep 25 '24
That guy jerks off to pictures of himself
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u/Princess_forbidden Sep 25 '24
Definitely watches himself in the mirror and flexes while fucking
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u/KnifeguyK390 Sep 24 '24
The ass slap at the end really showed he meant business
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u/Abnormal-Normal Sep 24 '24 edited Sep 25 '24
Thatâs just assault at that point, right? I woulda called the cops on his ass right there. No need to hit a guy whoâs not being aggressive.
lol at all the badasses in the comments of an iamverybaddass post. Youâre in the sub where we make fun of you, and you still canât help yourselves lol
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u/Drakeadrong Sep 24 '24
Oh 100%. Bouncers donât have free range to hit whoever they want. Any dollar store lawyer could argue this constitutes sexual assault, too.
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u/Lycian1g Sep 25 '24
He was rock hard the entire monolog. I bet his journal was full of excitement that night.
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u/TJ_McWeaksauce Sep 25 '24
There's a fine line between intimidating and sexual, and this dude's delivery leans too far into sexual.
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u/ExpiredPilot Sep 25 '24 edited Sep 25 '24
Meanwhile me, a regular bouncer: âsorry bud not tonightâ 100x till they realize theyâre not getting in tonight.
And when the people finally walk away, roughly 20%-30% will come back n try to get back in
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u/linkanight Sep 25 '24
Literally being a bouncer is 90% trying to speech check someone to go home 10% actual confrontations at least in my experience almost two years in
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u/ExpiredPilot Sep 25 '24
I took 35 fakes (caught more but didnât take for whatever reason) in 2 years when I bounced at a college club.
I caught maybe 5 of them because they were godawful. The rest I caught just by talking to the kid and asking basic shit like their age or state capitol đ one kid tried to convince my Detroit was the capitol of Michigan. Guess he didnât recognize my big fat U of M hat.
Another kid was shorter than me but his fake said he was 6â11
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u/PohakuPack Sep 26 '24
Fat guys with high cholesterol and cringey tattoos think theyâre Goku
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u/wolfmankal Sep 24 '24
Mirroring a video really makes it a whole new experience.
Fuck repost bots
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u/Beef_turbo Sep 26 '24 edited Sep 26 '24
Starting with a whisper voice was so lame. Even worse was that after his big threat ("If you say another fucking word I'm going to drop you") the guy started talking again! but the bouncer didn't follow through on his threat. His bluff was called. Then it happened again when the bouncer told him to turn around. Guy just stood his ground in passive defiance until the bouncer had to force him to move. I say the guy handled this meathead bouncer situation quite well.
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u/homechicken20 Sep 25 '24 edited Sep 25 '24
Everyone here acting like they'd retaliate without noticing or mentioning the gun on his left hip. Smart of anyone to just walk away from that situation
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Sep 25 '24
30 year old Bouncer on roids acting cool in front of college girls while threatening to assault a 125 pound kid younger than him
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u/Impressive-Spell-643 Sep 25 '24
He must feel so proud if himself for performing this line like he practiced on his Barbie dolls
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u/therevjames Sep 25 '24
As a former bouncer, this guy is the reason that people try to stab/shoot/swarm bouncers. Arrogant fucking 'roid head.
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u/ultimatefigtea Sep 25 '24
So like, he canât just assault that kid because heâs pissed off. That would be a crime, right?
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u/therevjames Sep 25 '24
Right. The cunt bouncer has no authority on the sidewalk. The minute that he leaves the building, he is just another civilian and subject to the same laws as everyone else. He is inside the building, too, but usually gets a pass unless he grossly exceeds the appropriate level of response.
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u/Quack_Candle Sep 25 '24
Iâve known a few bouncers from playing in house bands at clubs. There were two types:
1) the ones who power trip and end up escalating until eventually they lose their license/catch an assault charge. Typically confiscate and then sell the drugs. 2) genuinely hard dudes with nothing to prove, de escalate and actually look after the general wellbeing of the club.
This guy is so insecure itâs painful. Heâll end up hurting someone/ get hurt in a completely avoidable situation.
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u/Spiq7 Sep 25 '24
So 1) are guys who cant fight and just look intimidating and 2) are guys who can fight and very well understatnd what could happen.
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u/Frankie_T9000 Sep 25 '24
The thing is the other person did the mature thing, is just not get in a fight for no reason - but to the bouncer he 'won'
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u/PatientZeropointZero Sep 24 '24
Horrible bouncer too, the goal is deescalation. Security guards who get the high profile jobs know this, drama leads to danger. Wish cops were trained in this more, bouncers too.
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u/Financial_Bird_7717 Sep 24 '24 edited Sep 24 '24
Yeah but the âhigh profile jobsâ are far and few between and those guys are hired with actual qualifications. Otherwise there really are no requirements for the job besides not being small, youâre going to get a lot of dummies in the mix. Many are just hired because theyâre like 6â3 and 260lbs and often donât receive any real training. Keep in mind most bouncers are employed by bars/clubs who really donât give a shit about deescalation.
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u/Ffdmatt Sep 24 '24
Who was the rapper who got his security beat up recently in Canada? Straight up oversized care bears just there to take punches. I think the rapper was okay, though, so one of those "however you get to the desired result" things, I suppose.
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u/BlueKing7642 Sep 25 '24
Hiring dipshits like this is how places get sued to oblivion
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u/Pretend-Quality3400 Sep 25 '24
Unfortunately, it's only dipshits like these that want to be bouncers.
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u/ItsDemiBlue Sep 26 '24
dont bouncers have like no real power to start anything unless someone else did something physical first? ik that was the case for the security we had at my old job
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u/Suspekt_1 Sep 25 '24
Heâs a shusher. Worst kind of people!
Can we find the bouncers social media and shame him?
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u/Torbpjorn Sep 25 '24
That line wouldâve been cool as hell if I was 13 and watching a Disney series back in 2010
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u/AlittlePotato1560 Sep 24 '24
He really asserted dominance with that cheeky ass slap
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u/pertangamcfeet Sep 25 '24
Well that's the most homo-erotic thing I've seen today... and I was watching Top Gun earlier.
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u/DIRTYROTTEN_1 Sep 25 '24
Im not 1 for the internet ruining peoples lives but .... What a fuckin bellend
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u/williamsonmaxwell Sep 26 '24
So many bouncers will endlessly pick on scrawny people they know they can fuck up, then as soon as itâs a buff guy whoâs an actual prick, groping women or starting fights, they are either super chill with him or polite
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u/rotenbart Sep 24 '24
I heard him for 2 seconds and muted it. Hate when people talk like that. Sounds annoying as hell lol
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u/makingitwork811 Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24
those are the kind of guys you see at the beginning of fight videos talk shit and get knocked out with one punch
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u/BayGullGuy Sep 25 '24
I worked as a bouncer for several years working inside a club and on the door off and on.
Number one line that had a very high success rate was âitâs time to go. You can walk out or we can walk you out but youâre leaving either way. Itâs up to you.â
Most guys donât want to get dragged out by another man or group of men.
Guys like this give the whole job a bad rap.
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u/BoneZone05 Sep 25 '24
I want to see more videos of that psycho bouncer - thereâs gotta be more out there đ
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u/rlpinca Sep 25 '24
I was a bouncer for a while.
"Hey dude, I'm just doing my job. There's more fun to be had down the road and they'll think it's funny"
Worked better than any tough guy talk.
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u/suthrenjules Sep 25 '24
Ok⊠where have I seen the guy with the bookbag before⊠Iâve seen someone else treat him very similarly but I canât remember where⊠in all seriousness⊠is this a schtick for the ânerdyâ guy? Like a âbetaâ or degradation kink think?? It just screams âSTAGEDâ to meâŠ
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u/doshka Sep 25 '24
same video was posted a little while back, but this version is mirrored. in the last few frames, you can see backward lettering in the sign on the window on the left.
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u/Astrnonaut Sep 24 '24
The girl in the back holding back laughter at him trying to be a main character is very relatable
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u/d4everman Sep 24 '24
Those are his best super villain lines? Well, he doesn't look very smart. I wouldn't fight him, but I think my dog could beat him at checkers.
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u/No-Height2850 Sep 25 '24
Whats that bot that recalls how many times a similar video has been posted?
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u/Kaatochacha Sep 26 '24
Maybe 35 years ago, I had a crappy job as security rent a cop in a parking club in a small towns only dance club. We used to get food from the restaurant there around midnight, along with the bouncers so I got to talk to a lot of them. I still remember one guy telling me the job had terrible hours, and didn't pay well. But, that he was "kind of an asshole" so he got to abuse people and get paid for it and didn't do it to his friends. Being a bouncer let him get his jerkiness out weekly.
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u/TheTimbs Is a gorilla Oct 13 '24
Dude looks like his body is gonna give out on him from so many peds
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u/AuNanoMan Sep 24 '24
The bouncer is cringe but so are all the tough guys in these comments lol
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Sep 24 '24
That's not a bouncer. That was just a guy threatening someone else while he had a gun. This was a year ago I believe
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u/LobsterHead37 Sep 24 '24
I would have kissed those big juicy lips if he was standing that close to me
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u/achillesdaddy Sep 24 '24
Wait, he whispered in a dudes ear at the bar and then slapped his ass without saying âgood gameâ. Not judging, just wondering if Iâm the only one that noticed.
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u/KayyJayy777 Sep 25 '24
đđđFucking hell, if a bouncer said that to me I'd probably piss myself laughing. Be worth getting my head smashed in.
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u/danstermeister Sep 24 '24
Wow, the dude actually says something RIGHT after the bouncer illegally threatens him.
Then, the bouncer commits simple assault... on camera.
But this is why he's a bouncer and not a lawyer.
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u/sheezy520 Sep 24 '24
Thatâs the weirdest beginning to gay porno that Iâve ever seen.
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u/GIgroundhog Sep 24 '24
I hate when roided dudes are assholes lol not much the other guy could do physically. I wonder what started this?
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u/TheSlavGuy1000 Sep 25 '24
Imagine the glasses guy walk away right in the middle of his action hero speech.
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u/ACDrinnan Sep 24 '24
Let him drop you then get the video evidence and sue his ass.
They aren't allowed to just assault you because they feel like it
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Sep 24 '24
Not even them, you sue the club for employing the low impulse control roid head to prevent unauthorized entry, not beat up dudes outside because they fuckin⊠spoke out of turn?
Also, thereâs only one macho man Randy savage, this fuckin imitator can try but heâs nothing compared to the man. The cream rises to the top, this fool festers at the bottom.
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u/thejuanwelove Sep 25 '24
thats a bouncer for you, the exceptions are the decent ones, most are bullies on roids with no civilization in sight, genuine cavemen
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u/Brewchowskies Sep 25 '24
All of them looking off in the distance like you arenât worth their time or respect. Thatâs the part that really got me back in the day when I used to go out.
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u/GryffinZG Sep 24 '24
Doubt chief would be doing all that if he wasnât talking to the personification of funko pops.
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u/No-Cartographer2512 Got banned from club penguin Sep 24 '24
I can smell this mans breath through the screen
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u/Heavy_E79 Sep 25 '24
Bet that bouncer actually folds like a cheap suit in a real fight.
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u/christevol Sep 24 '24
A man gets in your face that close you kiss him on the mouth. Balls in your court now buddy
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u/jj1only Oct 13 '24 edited Oct 30 '24
I pray I meet this dude and he sticks his chin in my face like he did here, leaving it wide open for an easy ko punch.
Yes, I too am very badass
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u/catladysoul Oct 15 '24
He would actually kill me but the temptation to go in for a lil kiss would be too much
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u/KingKunta2-D Sep 25 '24
At that point just drop me bro. Lines like that aren't going to get me to walk away without me roasting your ass for being so corny
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u/berro92 Sep 25 '24
Im not even sure this is fake.. its just the kind of thing I would expect from a bouncer who feels the need to carry a hand cannon on his hip.
I thought to myself "I'd throw down for a laugh" but then I'd get shot. Classic Merica
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u/patstoddard Sep 26 '24
I really want to know about all this guy like what led up to this?
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u/haikusbot Sep 26 '24
I really want to
Know about all this guy like
What led up to this?
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u/imcalledaids Sep 24 '24
Iâm not sure the guy with the gun on his side is a bouncer
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u/TheInternetDevil Sep 25 '24
Also I wouldnât as itâs fucked. But I know a decent few people who would go get a gun and come back.
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u/Shmolti Sep 24 '24
Why did he spank him at the end?
Why was the dude already anticipating the spank by covering his ass?
How often does this bouncer spank people?
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u/DC1919 Sep 24 '24
These people are aware that if you assault someone you get charged ? It's the same as body guards and security guards you're just some random person with a job and your job doesn't give you the right to use excessive force on another, in fact more so because you will not only lose that job but also any licenses you have pertaining to that job, as well as be blacklisted.
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u/ChillBro___Baggins Sep 24 '24
Unfortunately, a lot of these bouncers get away with a lot of shit that most people would go to prison for attempted murder for.
I used to bartend at a strip club and saw a man beaten within an inch of his life for pulling out his phone and taking a picture. He was drug out of the building and thrown outside. Nothing more.
I used to live through the night in my early twenties and did a lot of clubbing and bar hopping. I have seen bouncers and security guards do unspeakable things to people with the cops standing right in front of them not doing shit.
I myself have been assaulted multiple times by bouncers because they had mistaken me for someone else or I was with the wrong people at the moment. One time in particular I did call the police and was laughed at by them.
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u/Powerserg95 Sep 24 '24
Guy: "If you say another fucking word, I'm going to drop you"
Me: "what?"
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u/SmadBacoj Sep 24 '24
It's him licking his lips and hitting him with the "you just set off my trap card" smirk on the beginning for me.
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u/Dazed_2_Day Sep 26 '24
I like how the âcool club partyâ went completely silent for this goofs monologue
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u/darktydez1 Sep 25 '24 edited Sep 26 '24
That nob head bouncer is lucky really, I say that because in some places there is a lot of young kids who would have instantly stabbed him in the kneck when he got in their face.
No I am not condoning violence, just pointing out a fact. There is a lot of young dudes out their who will just react outta fear and poke him if he got in their face like that.
Regardless of the fear factor, even the peer pressure alone could end up getting this nob head killed.
For example:
Do you think some drill dudes lets say from London or New York are gonna let some nob head like this get in their face or smack their ass in front of their friends?
NoâŠ
They would feel compelled to react as soon as he got in their face.
Then the shanks usually come out and this nob head ends up in a pool of his own blood begging for the police and an ambulance.
I am guessing that is why we can all clearly see in the video that he has waited for what he âperceivesâ as the right young person to act like a nob head with.
What a fucking pussyhole.
Edit: I used to worked the doors when I was younger and it was usually the nob heads like him that never lasted more than a few months because of scenarios like above.
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u/bobafoott Sep 25 '24
The ass smack was honestly it for me. That was so risky a lot of people that would even get in a situation like this probably would react quite negatively and violently to an ass slap like that
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u/Zhurg Sep 25 '24
Yeah, that's the thing. These weirdos are selective in the people they condescend.
It's some skinny, nice looking guy. If it was a big guy, or some roadman he wouldn't do this.
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u/darktydez1 Sep 25 '24
Yeah the bouncer in the vid reeks of insecurity and speaking from experience from working the doors, most young roadman would immediately sniff him out.
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u/royroyflrs Sep 24 '24
Did he spank him?
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u/R8iojak87 Sep 24 '24
Question, if a bouncer touches you like this, and a fight transpires, can you press charges?
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u/TrippinLSD Sep 24 '24 edited Sep 24 '24
What imma need you to do, is turn around and walk away. Walk around the corner and wait for me i get off in 30 minutes tiger
SLAPS THAT ASS
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u/A_Potential_Turn Sep 24 '24
His voice certainly has a tone that tells me he wants to get pepper sprayed. Not saying I would. Just. Sounds like something that would happen.
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u/Davajita Sep 24 '24
I canât imagine I would have been able to contain myself. I would have started laughing.
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u/Nvvrmor Sep 24 '24 edited Sep 24 '24
Some people can't take no for an answer... Not everyone is willing to argue with you until you get your way. Side note... Seriously bruh if you wanted to get in there so bad you should have left the shorts at home
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u/thevizierisgrand Sep 25 '24
This why when the news say âbouncer shot deadâ the first reaction is âprobably did something to deserve itâ
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u/Uncle_Seamont Sep 25 '24
Iâm a small guy and definitely wouldâve walked away from thatâŠ.right up until he smacked my ass. Then Iâd take the beating to at least through a punch or two
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