r/iamverybadass • u/SlaynArsehole • Feb 24 '25
đFISTS OF FURRYđ Better check yourself Euros, I bench 225lbs
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u/3xv7 Feb 25 '25
this is 1000% a joke and its very funny
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u/Monday0987 Feb 25 '25
He has the most hilarious codpiece
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u/Shanhaevel Feb 25 '25
That codpiece is glorious and I'm pretty sure I've seen a museum photo of one that his is based on. That would have been an impressively expensive piece of armour.
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u/SerjeantMesser Feb 25 '25
This is a shitpost lol. The guy has been doing this for a while. Btw he benches 225lbs
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u/LeadNew333 Feb 25 '25
i thought he was going to compare his diet to the diet of Europeans from that era, but then he got cringe
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u/Snoo_58045 Feb 25 '25
I often think about leaving for America....just for the meat and milk. God I wish we had some of our own.
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u/SmilingVamp Feb 25 '25
American here. Our meat and milk is okay, I guess, but our corn syrup is the real deal! The high fructose stuff especially really packs on the pounds.Â
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u/AndTheSonsofDisaster Feb 25 '25
Yeah the Worldâs Strongest Man is never a dude from a European country or anything.
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u/CosmicBonobo Feb 25 '25
I'm confident that when you ask any man over a certain age, who the world's strongest man was, they'll invariably say Jon Pall Sigmarsson.
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u/BlackSebbeth1 Feb 25 '25
He's trolling
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u/kyuuei Feb 25 '25
It's so impressive how many people fell for this. Most viral hema meme in a minute.
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u/WarMage1 Feb 26 '25
Itâs been a while since Iâve even seen hema mentioned outside a dedicated sub for it
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u/ReaverRogue Feb 24 '25
Itâs true, speaking as a European. Never had a chance to eat meat or drink milk. We mostly just stare at our livestock wistfully, wishing we had the protein in our bodies needed to overpower them and eat them.
Alas, back to my bowl of kale and ice chips.
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u/Infinite_Radiant Feb 24 '25
never even seen this "livestock" you are speaking of.. we only eat leaves and grass here in the middlemost of europe
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u/ReaverRogue Feb 24 '25
Oh come on, you know the ones. Black and white, about the size of a modest car, just eat grass all day in fields.
You know. Spotted Grassdogs.
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u/metfan1964nyc Feb 24 '25
What the fuck is a "scandian hema celebrity"?
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u/Its_Pelican_Time Feb 24 '25
If you have to tell people you're a celebrity, you're not a celebrity.
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u/TattyViking Feb 24 '25
I wondered this too. Quite a few Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) "celebrities" (read: YouTubers) are full of themselves, divisive, or straight up Nazis. Some are just nerds who want to play with swords. I wondered if by Scadian he means he's also part of the SCA: Society for Creative Anachronism. Ren Faire types who enjoy dressing up and are harmless. Again, some big egos trying to lord it up over weaker nerds.
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u/CPTRocketman Feb 25 '25
I would think they would be more interested in reenacting WWII.
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u/TattyViking Feb 27 '25
People often have more than one interest. Plus, you do get the "blood and honour" sword types all across the world.
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u/Milligramz Feb 24 '25
Gotta be trolling lol
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u/JPD15 Feb 24 '25
100% trolling. Posted on Facebook in a satirical group, but taken out of that context people are obviously struggling.
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u/watchman28 Feb 24 '25
It's true, here Europe I'm only allowed one cup of milk a week and I've never even seen a ham.
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u/MrBiggz83 Feb 24 '25
What makes meat and milk more rare in Europe?!!? They have hella meat and dairy products.
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u/lemystereduchipot Feb 24 '25
There is no way in hell this guy bench presses 225 lbs. And I know this because I am truly very bad ass.
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u/DarthErectous Feb 25 '25
Those small soft baby hands have never lifted a weight ever let alone 225 pounds
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u/adam-dinkster Feb 26 '25
all that talk to get one punched by 58 year old âGazâ from Stoke on Trent, whoâs daily diet consists of a pint, beans and meat for breakfast
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u/that-vault-dweller Feb 27 '25
Gaz is our most feared weapon. The gammon
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u/adam-dinkster Mar 02 '25
âIm not racist or nuffinkâ proceeds to batter the kebab man for mispronouncing worcestershire sauce
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u/Stigmata84396520 Feb 24 '25
European here, what is this mystical meat and milk he speaks of?????
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u/Mr-Xcentric Feb 24 '25
American here. Translation: âI suck balls on the dailyâ
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u/shotokan1988 Feb 24 '25
Ok, this sent me đ you are a Smith of words the likes of which I've only read about in Mad Magazine.
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u/fusillade762 Feb 24 '25
The stuff from cows that you don't have that our American ancestors brought over from..um....ah...well, we got cows somehow. And you don't have any! /s
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u/TheTimbs Is a gorilla Feb 24 '25
Based off of a European Warrior that was known for their massive swords and dangerous job.
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u/Glowing_bubba Feb 26 '25
Grew up in Poland, we ate meat breakfast lunch dinner and kolacja, Gtfo
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u/mydickisasalad Feb 24 '25
Taking a screenshot of this post out of context is kind of a dick move. I saw the original post on Facebook the other day and it was clearly meant to be a joke/shit post and the comments understood that it was and people found it funny.
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u/itcheyness Feb 24 '25
I feel like half of these are out of context and clearly supposed to be jokes...
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u/NexusMaw Feb 24 '25
I mean this screams pisstake to me, but a lot of people have zero ability to distinguish anymore because there are so many morons out there.
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u/Merzant Feb 24 '25
Itâs still funny, the punchline is surely how heâs dressed?
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u/MySeveredToe Feb 24 '25
Iâm well aware of the historical evidence of massive cock armor, but his has a face. He literally has an armored dick head. Gotta be satire.
Heâs also the smallest person in the picture. I love the thought of him thinking âIâm so better fed than these Europeansâ
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u/Grand-Bullfrog3861 Feb 24 '25 edited Feb 24 '25
Using lbs to make it seem more impressive, how very American of you.
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u/termitefist Feb 24 '25
lol thatâs an L âlbsâ But something about Irritable Bowel Syndrome does seem American.
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u/Grand-Bullfrog3861 Feb 24 '25
I was using the small floating keyboard, I'm glad that's the only mistake đ
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u/Corbotron_5 Feb 26 '25
As a European, I am genuinely concerned about the physical superiority of the American male if this mess escalates to war. High fructose corn syrup can power a man for days and leads to natural body armour several inches thick.
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u/0nce-Was-N0t Feb 24 '25
Meat and milk is rare in Europe?
I've had both of them nearly every day of my life for 30+ years.
Where the fuck do they get their information from and how is it so wildly inaccurate?
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u/BarnyTrubble Feb 24 '25
Guy thinks he actually went back in time to fight medieval people
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u/Leezeebub Feb 24 '25
American people of 300 years ago had a very different diet than today.
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u/Cultural-Company282 Feb 24 '25
In 1725? Maybe corn, squash, cod, and salt pork?
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u/Leezeebub Feb 24 '25
Wait, how old is america now? I was thinking of native americans lol
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u/Cultural-Company282 Feb 24 '25
300 years ago was 1725. There were certainly Europeans here then. Their diets wouldn't have differed from the natives that much, except for maybe a little more livestock (the salt pork I mentioned).
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u/Recent_Landscape1420 Feb 24 '25
I have also heard the weights are heavier in America, their 22lb dumbbells are heavier than our 10kg ones by 12!
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u/scythian12 Feb 24 '25
Ngl I went to Europe in high school and we went to the gym. I was gunna do some bench presses and they asked how much I wanted and I said âletâs start with a hundred (thinking in pounds) and they asked if I was sure, and I was a little offended, Iâm not the buffest guy but I can bench 100 pounds.
Thank god they were there to spot me lmao
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u/MeepingMeep99 Feb 24 '25
Yes, Europe, where there is nothing to eat but bread, potatoes, and rocks
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Feb 24 '25
Oooh look at Mr Michelin stars here with his delicious rocks. Rubbing it in our faces.
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u/TattyViking Feb 24 '25
Careful now. As a strong American, if he hears we have spuds, he might claim our potatoes back for the New World, and we'd be powerless to stop him.
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u/R8iojak87 Feb 24 '25
Fred Armistan?
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u/ParaponeraBread Feb 24 '25
Nah thatâs Tim meadows, the guy who played Caleb the cannibal in Brooklyn 99
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u/Sufferingfoool Feb 27 '25
âLook at my pants. Anyone want a roundhouse kick to the face while Iâm wearing these bad boys?â
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u/squigwraith Feb 25 '25
LMAO I saw this too, what a goon
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u/dirtyoldbastard77 Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 25 '25
Kinda funny. I was an exchange student in the US when I went to high school. At home I was about middle of the field strengthwise, and always was a small guy. Then I started doing wrestling in that US high school, and while my technique obviously was not the best since I just started, I actually did very well because it turned out I was quite strong compared to the other guys in my weight class, so I often trained with guys a few classes above me.
That guy needs to learn that fat is not the same as muscles
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u/JonnySidequest Feb 24 '25
Yooo 225 is not the flex that this goof thinks it is.
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u/SirArthurDime Feb 24 '25 edited Feb 24 '25
2 plates is entry level for being able to call yourself a lifter. But Iâm pretty sure this is sarcasm. If the dudes in Europe he would clearly know by now they eat meat.
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u/DC1919 Feb 24 '25
Average murican view point of the rest of the world. Yes, sweetheart you are the only nation that eats Meat and dairy I'm sure you are the biggest and strongest boy in your class.
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u/Sway_404 Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 25 '25
This is satire but at one point was probably kind of true? In one of his books the always excellent Bill Bryson pointed out that due to ongoing post war rationing the average citizen of the US ate 30% more calories than an equivalent Brit.
*Edit: placement of an intended but overlooked 'at'
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u/mr---jones Feb 25 '25
Part of our demoralize the enemy tactics are things like straight up Burger King delivery.
In the past, they did similar things sending abundance of food brazenly to show how much abundance US had to send down range
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u/Maximum_Turn_2623 Feb 25 '25
I think everyone theater and cosplay is the most masculine thing ever!
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u/uncletaterofficial Feb 24 '25
I mean if he means 225 kilos, that would in fact be a very impressive bench.
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u/FlugMango87 Feb 24 '25
Why are people falling for obvious ragebait?
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u/dtom93 Feb 24 '25
Because itâs Reddit lol. Half the accounts are either bots or the same person talking to themselves with alt accounts
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u/thenearblindassassin Feb 24 '25
I'm an LLM trained only on erotic fanfiction actually.
Moans "I'm sorry step-brother"
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u/I_ship_it07 Feb 24 '25
Oh course, everybody know that europe has not a cow in sight so no Milk for the weak little euro
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u/falcon_buns Feb 24 '25
side note crazy people used to have fits like that and used to get bitches back then lmao
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u/Tyrus1235 Feb 24 '25
Iâm just amazed at the little face with a moustache for the dick.
And the crotch guard as well
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u/lgodsey Feb 25 '25
Scadian/HEMA celebrity?
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u/PoopSmith87 Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 25 '25
I do SCA/HEMA... there is only one celebrity, and it's Matt Easton, who is mostly loved for his annoying and ridiculously overdone explanations of basic topics. Dude can spend like 45 minutes explaining why an axe is better than a feather duster for chopping through a shield... and we can't get enough of it, love that dude.
At any rate, the guy in the OP is embarrassing to the community.
-Benching 225 is mediocre, it's a benchmark for men that have been lifting for like a year or two.
-Some of the best strength athletes in the world are from Europe.
-Being strong doesn't actually matter all that much in the sport... like, you definitely need to be strong for certain events, but out benching someone isn't going to matter.
-Europe has plenty of diary products and meat, no idea where that is coming from.
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u/lgodsey Feb 25 '25
Thank you, genuinely, but I still have no idea what sca/hema means. Is it an acronym? If I had to guess, is it fencing or maybe live-action role play?
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u/PoopSmith87 Feb 25 '25 edited Feb 25 '25
Hema is an acronym for "European Martial Arts," pretty much strictly historical fencing... sca is is "society for creative anachronism." That is a bit more open, and includes everything under the umbrella of "medieval stuff." There is heavy armored combat, fencing, and archery, but there is also people dressing up, doing arts and crafts, and just generally pretending to be medieval.
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u/fioreman Feb 25 '25
Strength is starting to matter more as longsword becomes more sportified,which is a good thing, but a high bench press isn't important at all.
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u/Campa911 Feb 24 '25
Has he seen Calcio Storico? This dude getting wasted.
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u/TooTiredMovieGuy Feb 24 '25
I've been trying to convince my friends to start a Calcio Storico league here. Probably with pads and a few more rules because we're all 30-something guys who don't want to actually get hurt.
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u/No_Froyo5477 Feb 24 '25
No, please tell me this is a parody. We have plenty of clowns in the white house and congress destroying the few remaining vestiges of normalcy, decency and intelligence we may have once earned among our international peers. we definitely don't need this chucklehead, who is so daft as to believe he is some kind of celebrity, adding to the raging dumpster fire that's already burning out of control. Jfc
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u/costigan95 Feb 24 '25
Milk is rare in europe? The US has 11 European countries ahead of it in per capita milk consumption. Those Europeans love a glass of milkâŚ
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u/Grimetree Feb 24 '25
I've never heard a European person say "I'm lactose intolerant" I'm sure plenty are but I've only ever heard Americans say it
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u/-RedditPoster Feb 24 '25
In the military I knew 3 people who were lactose intolerant, but that never stopped them getting extra yoghurts to wash down the shitty bread & spread dinners when there was no warm kitchen.
When Europeans are lactose intolerant, they just deal with the sharting like God intended.
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u/Sufferingfoool Feb 27 '25
âLook at my pants. Anyone want a roundhouse kick to the face while Iâm wearing these bad boys?â
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u/Mindless-Hornet5703 Feb 24 '25
He should just wait on the sidelines charging the combatants money for snacks then join in at the end and take all the glory...
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u/Vitringar Feb 24 '25
Plenty of space for man boobs in his armour. Probably a custom order.
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u/Shanhaevel Feb 25 '25
Nope, historical. You don't want armour being pressed tightly against your body. You will:
- feel every hit in detail
- any penetration is a direct risk of wounding you
- any blunt force trauma is basically sure to go right to your ribs
The rounded shape deflects hits better and leaves some room as kind of an additional protection.
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u/OllyHR Feb 24 '25
The age old technique of Americans imitating historic culture and heritage.
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u/Trans_Cat_Girl_ Feb 24 '25
I mean Americans can respect their heritage and ancestors cultures, I donât think that simply because you were born in America it completely negates your ability to embrace your families traditions
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u/Optimal_Risk_6411 Feb 25 '25
Umm the get up ruins the tough guy vibe tho. Like seriously brah look at your fancy pants.
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u/Shanhaevel Feb 25 '25
That's historical clothing. Can we get past laughing at people for having hobbies?
Also, satire.
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u/EmptyBrook Feb 24 '25 edited Feb 24 '25
different diet then Europeans
Any badassness is lost on me when they canât spell or have bad grammar
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u/freshponceofbelair Feb 24 '25
Well as soon as the antidepressant supply goes in the US, their meat and milk won't get them far.
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u/Otherwise_Living_158 Feb 24 '25
Makes me laugh thinking about the stories my squaddie mates used to tell about joint exercises with the US military
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u/PB-00 Feb 24 '25
he has boobs
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u/DukeTikus Feb 24 '25 edited Feb 24 '25
Breast plates are formed like that so there is room between the metal and your chest. It works a bit like a crumple zone on a car. Shallow penetration of the armor or denting won't injure you that way. Also the more angled the surface is the higher the likelihood for arrows/stabs to bounce off.
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u/UntestedMethod Feb 25 '25
Scadian/hema celebrity ... Is that actually a thing? Lol
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u/Dan_Caveman Feb 26 '25
Actually, yes. Two distinct but related things. Itâs meant to convey that he is very experienced with this type of fighting.
A âScadianâ is a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism, an org that studies and recreates the Middle Ages and the Renaissance.
âHEMAâ is an acronym for âHistorical European Martial Artsâ, the largest and most well-respected org that teaches (among other things) historically accurate techniques for fighting with swords, axes, pole arms, etc.
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u/TolverOneEighty Feb 27 '25
As far as I can tell, SCA is a LOT more popular in America and (possibly) Australia than it is in the countries whose history they usually portray. I looked into it a while back and I was really puzzled because it's not exactly set in any one time or place, it's just generally (from what I could tell) cosplaying as pseudo-eurocentric-mediaeval - is that correct?
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u/Dan_Caveman Feb 27 '25
Iâm not exactly an expert on SCA either, but yes my impression is that the word âCreativeâ in their name is doing some heavy lifting. It seems like theyâre not so much interested in historical accuracy as they are just trying to create a fun vibe.
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u/UntestedMethod Feb 26 '25
Ya I know what SCA and HEMA are, but didn't realize there were "celebrities" in those hobbies lol
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u/Current_Leather7246 Feb 24 '25
That milk must be pretty strong over there. His breasts came in nicely
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