r/jobs • u/nothingguy22 • 1d ago
Unemployment Depressed for failing my gf
Hello,
I been unemployed for over a year with no luck applying for any jobs. I have 5+ years dispatch / customer service experience but I burned out and ended up with a resume full of jobs that didn't last 2-3 months after my main job of 4 years. I was having existential crisis at age 30, I'm 31 now and 1.5 months ago started dating a beautiful girl who has 2 beautiful babies. We want me to be in the step father role but I'm too broke. I have like 1600 dollars left and I'm pretty much gonna run out of money any day here. I'm not even gonna have gas money to go pick her up anymore, let alone go on any dates. I'm depressed as you can possibly get. I am a failure, and no job will take me seriously. I don't remember it ever being this hard to get a job, it use to be as simple as getting a call center job and that was no problem. I have no idea what to do, I ran out of time. I failed her, and I hadn't had any intimacy in years prior to meeting her. She's gonna stick with me no matter what, but I can't even be myself knowing how badly I failed everyone. I don't want to be here, but I won't leave and abandon her. I need a way to make income, but it seems the competition is too fierce and I've fallen far behind with my perceived job hopper resume. I'm screwed
Update: 95 percent of you guys have been so helpful and so appreciated dearly in terms of ideas and encouragement. The other 5 percent who want to fixate on my relationship decisions and such are an odd bunch and are clearly not happy with their own dating lives. But I'm glad I made the post to get so many recommendations from the vast majority, thanks from the bottom of my heart :)
36
u/DarnellPhantom 1d ago
Not high paying or glamours but security is a field you can get into with no experience usually pays around fast food wages
15
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Ok, security, I wouldn't mind that. I'll check out some security jobs. Thanks a lot
10
u/bluefruitloop1 1d ago
If you live near a Target check out target security jobs (their asset protection department) TSS (target security specialist) is the position name. Pay is gonna be pretty standard for an entry level role but I think starts around 21-22/hour in every state. Most importantly there is a TON of promotion opportunity that pays REALLY good when you put some time into it. It’s also a very very chill job. Speak to your desire to grow and promote in the interview! Good luck
6
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I do live close to one and I didn't know the upside of such a job! Awesome, got it noted, thank you!!
3
u/Lower_Refrigerator_2 22h ago
Yeah man security and health care sitters are damn near always hiring.
Jobs are difficult and shitty but it puts money in your wallet.
Plus most of the time their so under staffed they let you work as much over time as you want
1
4
68
u/VaporWario 1d ago
I have two degrees, have worked at prestigious companies, etc. I just end a 6+ month bout of unemployment by walking to my local grocery store with a resume and asking if they were hiring. Now I’m working an entry level position in grocery. Actually quite enjoying it. I can walk to work. My wife also was unemployed for much of that time and we had to get financial help from both our families in order to survive. We also have roommates. And friends had to bail us out financially right before we lost our jobs because living expenses have risen so much. It’s rough out here. If any pride is in the way of you getting certain types of jobs, you may need to swallow it.
I know it’s not that simple. But try and think about what industries need to function in order for society to operate, and look for work there.
7
u/Intelligent_Bake949 1d ago
Similar situation for me. Went through a terrible run of unemployment/ depression from not being able to land a job in my field after years of “success”. I found a job delivering packages for Amazon. I actually enjoy it most of the time. Feels 100x better than not having a job.
To anyone in a similar situation - If you’re 21+ and have a drivers license, you can get one of these jobs. Search Amazon DSP on Indeed.
Good luck to you OP. I know you probably hear the same advice from people over and over. I’ve been there.
19
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Appreciate the response, sorry to hear about your situation but I'm happy to hear you are at some level of content at this time. Yeah, the only thing I would be short of doing is fast food, just cause I can't keep up with them to be honest. I'm kinda dyslexic or possibly autistic. Pride is not in the way, maybe I will check out some grocery stores around me. Thanks so much.
11
u/Fun_Wrangler_7320 1d ago
If you've got a Chick-fil-A, they're great. Not like most fast food restaurants, and they pay well.
9
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I do have one close by, I'll check it out Monday
10
u/MrStealY0Meme 1d ago
Yea right now ANY job is priority. No matter if it was out of scope before. I have a degree and during a long unemployment, I just worked at a retail. The key though is to not get complacent in it, but to keep searching until the better one finally hires you. It's okay to balance the search with work and not go overly stressed searching, so long as you haven't stopped completely.
→ More replies (2)3
u/VaporWario 1d ago
The grocery gig in particular is good because there is a large variety of types of positions, and as far as I can tell they’re always in need of more people. I think even more so than regular retail stores, since in times of economic uncertainty people will spend less money. Retail can be hit hard financially too. But people need to eat, so grocery stores will still be busy.
Plus it’s a union gig. So once you get in, you don’t need to worry about being laid off.
2
u/Swimming_Pudding_695 1d ago
Grocery gigs have been getting worse lately each year as they have been slashing hours to bear minimum bones. They are running skeleton crews and you have to have open availability which screws your chances of working a 2nd job
2
u/VaporWario 22h ago
I’m new to it and that hasn’t been my experience so far at the store I work in. It doesn’t pay very well but I’m getting consistent hours, and the work load makes sense. Every single industry has been getting worse over the last couple years.
I’m sure each specific grocery store has its own culture and run differently by its director
1
u/Swimming_Pudding_695 1d ago
Grocery gigs have been getting worse lately each year as they have been slashing hours to bear minimum bones. They are running skeleton crews and you have to have open availability which screws your chances of working a 2nd job
2
u/IIIIIIIIIIIIV 10h ago
I'm in the same boat. My degree isn't doing anything for me right now. Had to get $15/hr job in retail to make rent
29
u/JusticeInDefiance 1d ago
Usually there is always a need for cleaners. Good cleaners can be hard to hire for. Generally the wage is better than minimum wage too. Might be worth looking into? Maybe try commercial cleaning over residential.
A plus with commercial, is usually you’ll work alone or in a very small team. Listening to podcasts or music is also normally fine.
12
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Cleaners, ok. Commercial cleaning, taking note of that. Thank you so much
8
u/JusticeInDefiance 1d ago
Here (where I am in Canada) we start people at $20/hr with no experience. Most are between $22/hr-$26/hr currently. A plus, is you also don’t need a special education for it. It’s easy enough to learn. You could even look at starting your own business. Can learn the smaller tips and tricks online. Licensed and insured companies here charge $40/hr (lower side and usually if just individuals) to $60/hr on average. So you could also look at going that route. The most expensive piece of equipment to start will be the vacuum unless you eventually expand into spaces that need special equipment. But that would likely be a little ways off
9
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Cool, I'm getting a few good ideas from comments such as this, I appreciate you
3
1
u/VaporWario 1d ago
I worked a carpet cleaning job recently, pay was decent, plus commission. But it was very physically demanding, and I got laid off as soon as winter came (was told it was slow season)
2
1
u/ureshiibutter 1d ago
This is a great idea if you literally just do your job while there. I used to work retail and we had constant problems worh the cleaning service's workers. Multiple times the store manager had to call the guy (idk if he was an account manager or owner) about his workers sucking or flaking and he'd come in himself, roll up his sleeves and get it done. Regardless of if his position, I'd be pissed if I was him lol
We had a mother son duo for a minute and the son literally sat his ass down to play on his phone while mommy did both of their jobs. More often we had people that just went really slow or avoided the areas that more obviously needed attention because we paid for a set number of hours cleaning. There were also some who came super late so we had to kick them out when we closed and went home. Idk how their pay worked but I do know in our state you get paid for 3 hours automatically if you're clocked in for less time than that.
Anyway just show up, maybe check in with the manager if there is a specific thing they'd like you to focus on, and git er done!
2
u/Recent_Journalist129 1d ago
My s/o does carpet cleaning for a major chain (US). He makes commission off it. During their busy season in summer he’s making $40-50 hourly cleaning carpet.
5
u/JusticeInDefiance 1d ago
Yep, many directions one could go in this field or closely related. Even window cleaning.
25
u/acidicwasteland 1d ago
If you want to play daddy without prospects, it’s time to either join a union or flip some burgers. This is coming from a mother of 3. You do not have the luxury of picking and choosing what pays your bills when you have multiple mouths to feed that only have you to depend on. You can make great money as a bar back, working in landscaping, delivering for either Amazon ups or fedex, they’re always hiring and pay decent.
Also stop listing all of your jobs, if you weren’t there for at least six months it doesn’t even exist. Make a company up that went under or say you were self employed building websites or something. You were doing uber eats or door dash. Contracting somewhere. Use a friend as a reference client. You gotta put a little more effort in if you’re planning to go from Mr. job hopper to Mr.hold it down.
→ More replies (14)9
u/howtobegoodagain123 1d ago
Dude is a gambler.
→ More replies (4)7
u/One-Fox7646 1d ago
1.5 months is way too early in a relationship to be so serious. Especially with kids involved.
25
u/thenonsequitur 1d ago
While you're looking for a job, don't neglect to consider unemployment benefits or SNAP assistance. No shame in taking government aid while you are job searching.
→ More replies (1)
35
u/HeavyVoid8 1d ago edited 1d ago
My brother in Christ wtf are you doing dating a girl with two kids when you haven’t had a job in a year? You don’t need that, that isn’t going to make your life easier in any conceivable way. Go sort your shit out first and then worry about meeting a girl. You aren’t failing them bc they aren’t your responsibility. Be honest about things and say you need to focus on yourself and getting back on your feet
33
u/DucDeBellune 1d ago
OP also saying he aspires to be a father figure to her kids after dating for “1.5 months” (so six weeks?) is fucking INSANE.
If a person I was dating for six weeks made a thread like this I’d NOPE the fuck out of there. Red flags all over this behaviour.
8
u/One-Fox7646 1d ago
That is way too early to be so committed and serious. With kids involved too and the job situation? No. I'd get work and finances sorted out first and go from there.
→ More replies (22)5
u/No-Interaction6323 1d ago edited 15h ago
Op sounds pretty immature in that area, and so does his gf. I have two kids, I would not introduce them to anyone after only 6 weeks,never mind expecting them to be a step parent,and my kids are not little!!
Saying he can not imagine a scenario where the relationship will end at this stage is ridiculous ( maybe I'm a cynic) at 6 weeks you're in honeymoon stages and don't really know the person that well. It may work,sure, but both their attitudes seem childish.
→ More replies (50)2
17
u/SetoKeating 1d ago
Gonna tell you what you really need to hear but won’t listen to. A person that has the issues you’re dealing with doesn’t need to be in a relationship. Prioritize yourself, you need to want to work to support yourself not someone else. You think you’re being this great person that wants to better the life of your gf and her kids but you can’t even take care of yourself.
You need to first better yourself before allowing someone into your life. It would be very different if you knew them before your situation but you’ve known this person 1.5 months and it’s a gigantic red flag on her behalf that she introduced you to her kids at all. This is all a recipe for disaster.
That being said, find a hospital system near you, they’re always hiring due to high turnover because you’re gonna have to clean some shit and piss. They have tons of unlicensed no experience needed jobs you can step into if you’re actually willing to work.
→ More replies (17)4
u/One-Fox7646 1d ago
I think it is a giant red flag that the woman would introduce kids to someone shes been dating only 6 weeks. Kids should not be involved until much later on.
4
6
u/Master-Ad3175 1d ago edited 1d ago
Based on the fact that you were putting so much importance on a relationship you've only been in for 6 weeks and some of the responses here I would say in addition to getting a job, (which obviously is important) and looking at any Social Services benefits you might be eligible for, you really need to be putting in the time and effort in therapy. And I'm saying that legitimately not as an insult.
→ More replies (1)
12
u/ThePracticalDad 1d ago
You say “jobs didn’t last 2-3 months” but I think this means YOU didn’t last 2-3 months.
Figure out why this is. Dont do that.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I didn't last at the jobs, that is correct. I was depressed and alone. Now I'm not. I still have a job on my resume with 4 years straight, not sure how that's just garbage now. 4 years of endless nights, and I go through a bit of depression, and now it doesn't matter anymore. That's what I'm seeing
6
u/ThePracticalDad 1d ago
Feels like you’re spiraling a bit. I’ve been there. The thing that helped was my partner reinforcing that “the sum of me isn’t my job. “.
You are who you are, unemployed, laborer, or CEO. Remember that.
Unemployment can regularly last 12-18 months. This isn’t abnormal. It doesn’t mean you’re useless.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Yeah, I spiraled out of control before I met her. Now that I have someone like her in my life, I actually have a reason to wake up in the morning, I really suffered from loneliness and depression. So I just need to get to work so that I don't somehow lose this, she's very committed to me but if I can't even afford car insurance to see her for now I'm screwed
3
u/ThePracticalDad 1d ago
You seem fixated on things that are unrelated to your ability to a) be good to her and b) be a good role model for the kids.
The kids don’t give a fck about what you earn or what you do. Be a reliable solid figure. That takes zero money.
The GF, if she’s solid, will come see you.
Bruh, this isn’t a money thing. This is a YOU thing. Be a good human. The rest will follow. You aren’t your paycheck.
2
4
u/Spider4Hire 1d ago
You’re tying your self worth to someone you met 6 weeks ago. You haven’t fixed anything. You have to have your own self worth. You’re not ready to date because you have put yourself into a position to be taken advantage of. I understand where you’re at but you have to open your eyes, not your heart.
→ More replies (5)
12
u/Slow_Needleworker723 1d ago
u have 2k in the bank and you want to be the father of 2 kids? xD are u stupid?
→ More replies (16)5
u/One-Fox7646 1d ago
The fact OP does not see all the red flags here is so bizarre. Why are kids involved this early? Where the hell is the kids father?
→ More replies (2)
6
u/allislost77 1d ago
So. Take my advice or don’t. I’m just a random guy on the internet.
WTF are you thinking? You’re dating a girl for 2.5 months and you want to “step into a step father role”? Read that aloud to yourself. You don’t even know this woman.
Hey, if you wanna waste your youth and complicate your already complicated life, that’s the nice thing about being an adult and having free will.
I’m going to assume that you haven’t had a lot of luck in relationships or much experience? You answers that for me: “I haven’t had any intimacy for YEARS…”
Now, there is a possibility that what you two “have” is the “real” thing. But you should really step back and look at both of your choices and see how those choices have worked out. She’s single with two kids at a very young age. You’re 31 and haven’t been able to hold down a job.
It’s called Limerence/infatuation fueled by not having any human connection. Ie: you might be thinking with your smaller head.
This life goes by way too fast and it seems you’re putting the cart for the horse and leading with emotion. (Do you come from a broken home?)
Stop investing so much time in a “relationship” that hasn’t even developed and get a job. Sign up for a temp agency. Work on your resume. But come on dude…
→ More replies (8)
5
u/redeembtc 1d ago edited 1d ago
1.5 months ago started dating a beautiful girl who has 2 beautiful babies. We want me to be in the step father role
Only 1.5 months and you both want you to assume the step father role? I think you're moving way too fast, is she pressuring you and in turn making you feel this way?
By your comment, you've only met her in person about 6 times ...
→ More replies (1)
3
u/ZealousidealAd2619 1d ago
Go to trucking company’s and other smaller company’s apply in person fuck indeed
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
For dispatching? Ok ok, that sounds like a good idea. It seems like a few commenters missed the part that I have experience in dispatch. Yeah indeed is a fuck off for sure. I gotta find these companies and apply direct
6
u/pretty-ribcage 1d ago
Single mom proposes dude she has known for 1.5 months be a step dad. Poor chick still on a bad decision streak 😅
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Goyard_Gremlin 1d ago
Bro you literally just met her a month and a half ago and you already are trying to be “stepdad” and saying “she’s going to stick with you no matter what” ??? You basically don’t even truly know this person. Also I know the job market is tough rn, trust me I’ve been trying for the past month or so, but if you seriously can’t land a single job in an entire year you are kidding yourself if you say you are trying. Get your life together before you drag someone else and their children into it.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I didn't drag anyone into anything bud, if the girl wanted to date me then she wanted to date me. I definitely send 100 apps a week so idk what you mean I'm not trying
2
u/Soysaucebeast 1d ago
As someone with 10+ years in the Dispatching/Logistics field across a bunch of companies, there has to be something you're not telling us. What area are you in? If you're in any sort of a metro area, there are usually dozens of places hiring and generally not too picky. The pay may not be spectacular and you'll probably be working odd hours, but it's usually ~20$/hour even for tow truck dispatchers.
See if there is a AAA HQ in your area (there's a bunch across the US), check with the small time tow truck companies, and see where the major distribution hubs are. Hell, I took a job once dispatching mobile repair for semi trailers at a place that leased out said trailers.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I mentioned what would be along the lines of supposedly what I'm not telling people? I said that my last few jobs only lasted a few months, I was single, sexless, depressed, burned out, suicidal etc. Now I have reason to live but I can't get back in the market due to my past mistakes with not lasting long at jobs. I live close to chicago. Still, at the end of the day I do have several years of experience in dispatch, I just never get called when I apply.
2
u/Soysaucebeast 1d ago
Yeah, if you're close to Chicago you're doing something wrong. I'm in STL which is WAY smaller than Chicago and even here there's about 100-something places hiring dispatchers. Hell, I'm looking for dispatch work myself, and being picky AF I've sent out about 50-60 applications in the last month. You don't have the luxury to be picky, so I'd expect double those numbers? Maybe more?
I get your spotty job history is a problem, but if you feel like it's holding you back then leave off every place you worked less than a year at. If they ask about the gaps in your resume you can -lie- my dude. I have a 3 month gap in mine and I tell people I was taking care of my sick mom during covid. What are they going to do, call your mom?
Honestly, I think this whole thread has shown that you have some impulse issues and aren't great at communicating effectively or selling yourself. Personally, I think you need to take a step back, think about things critically (how to make your resume nicer, what direction you want your life to go, is this really the relationship you want, etc) and make a game plan. Because right now you really give the vibe that you're just latching on to anything that comes by without thinking if it's a good fit.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/NatickInvictus 1d ago
Where abouts do you live? What kind of job are you interested in? I've worked shipping and receiving since I got out of the navy in 2010. Forklift operations, crane operations, material receiving, warehousing, etc. I live in east Texas where CoL is relatively low, so working my way from 12 as a hand in the beginning up to 27 as a foreman by 2023 worked. I bounced between 3 companies during that stretch. I never would have applied for the job if not for a buddy randomly telling the foreman I was looking for work. There are often places that need decent workers but aren't on the job search sites.
Drive around and check at security gates at any warehouses or plants nearby. They almost always need a warm body to check IDs and do paperwork. Just ask them if they are hiring and where to apply. The same with a warehouse itself, find out if they are hiring a hand to pull orders or operate a forklift. It's not glamorous, but it pays bills.
2
u/OGsweedster420 1d ago
Two words temp agency just get working.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
10-4, I'm gonna get my information inside every temp agency in my city. Enough is enough when I know something is there waiting for me, thanks a lot
2
2
u/AcatSkates 1d ago
You should definitely be applying to unemployment. It's not going to be enough but it'll be better than nothing.
2
u/sephfury 1d ago
Try to get a job in manufacturing/warehouse, delivery for amazon/fedex/ups, or even loading/unloading trucks for them. If those fail just suck it up and get a fast food job. Anything is better than nothing and while working those you can continue to apply to things in your field. If you're in the US, go to your states job center and they can help you. Tell every job you have open availability. Let them know you will work all available overtime. I was just in this situation myself. Good luck man
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Oh wow, ok, how did you get out of it man? Thanks
1
u/sephfury 1d ago
I first started by applying with temp/temp to hire services, while simultaneously applying to jobs the state provided. First job i got through the temp service i got laid off from. At that point I moved on to fedex loading trucks. Hard work especially at my age but it was a check. Continued apply to places and eventually landed a laser machine operator position. That's where I am now. Management seems to like me and enjoys my work. Hoping it sticks thoroughly. unfortunately it doesn't pay like I need it to so I'm continuing to apply to other places. Keep your chin up bro, you got this
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Thanks a lot man. I'm happy to hear about your positioning, and wish you all the greatest :)
→ More replies (4)
2
2
u/AlabamaLarry 1d ago
Best advice I can give, ditch those short term jobs on your resume and list a sabbatical for that duration. You took time for self improvement and reflection.
It works!
Your fighting for a job and those short term jobs shouldn't hold you back to get your foot in the door.
Your welcome.
→ More replies (3)
2
u/ToastedWarble 1d ago
Right now, I'm 21, and I'm trying to live without a care in life... it's not easy. I get bogged down a shit ton seriously... but lately, I've just been living life in a way that's good for me, man... I think about people, and I always try to take account of who's present and the type of shit I'm saying because I know when I'm up, I can be too much for people, man. I do not work a full-time or part-time job. I skate by on odd jobs and shit like that, and I just try to think about what I want and / or need in the moment... I know it might not seem it, but seriously... you need to give yourself breaks throughout the day. You can't pay too much attention to the shit people say because it can and will ruin you... Only you know what you need fully... your body will tell you, just listen for it... it was so hard for me to find that feeling, and the first time I did, I snapped with it and spent some time in a place I'm never going back to if I can help it... after all was said and done, I was once again drained and sat stagnant in my room for about a year or so until I figured it was in everyone's best interest that I left my mom's. I stay at my aunt's with my cousins and lately I've never been calmer.
2
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I'm happy for your mind set man. You seem pretty cool, sounds good to me
2
u/ToastedWarble 1d ago
Genuinely wish you the best, bro... sitting with doubts fucking sucks and alot of time it will feel like it hurts even more then real pain but you have to remember that's only because you're not feeling it.
2
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Sitting with doubts, for real man, literally sitting here feeling like I'm seeing through the lense of gray instead of the actual color of life. It really does hurt man, but your right, at least it's not real pain yet. Thanks man
2
2
u/Weary-Dish6945 1d ago
I am reading this after your edit, and I am joining the 5%. You have known this woman 6 weeks. That is too soon to be "in the step father role". It is simply not fair to the kids. You are extremely impulsive which may be related to your having a resume full of jobs that didn't last 2-3 months. (You can take those off your resume, BTW. Just show a gap and find a way to explain it if asked. You were a family caregiver, a freelancer, whatever.)
As for "clearly not happy with your own dating lives" ... that's your reason for not taking damn good advice about your new relationship? (Yes, it is new at 6 weeks.) What an immature outlook. Anyone who disagrees with you must be a loser? Are you sure you're 31?
I am 22 years happily married to someone who is my true partner and rock, and when I met him I had "two beautiful babies". I knew we were right for each other because I had put effort into figuring out what kind of person I could partner with who I could make happy, be happy with, and would work with my kids and our family dynamic. In other words I make good and well-thought out choices. So should you. There are kids involved here.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/AbbreviationsLarge63 1d ago
I have a 32 year old son. He has never held down a job for more than 3 months. The only job when he was employed longer than that was when he lived and worked for me for about 13 months. I took him to and from work with me. He saved enough money to buy a car and get an apartment. Less than a month later, he missed so many days that I had to let him go. The nepotism was too over the top to hide anymore. He's had maybe 6-8 jobs since he was 18. He is working security 1-3 days a week at 10 dollars an hour. He's had 4 steady girlfriends off and on since high school. One for a couple of years during and after high school. The other for 3 to 6 months. He never really had a job with any of them. They all dumped him when they realized he didn't have a job and brought nothing to the table financially. What I learned from his life is that a lot of women see a strong, hot, charismatic guy, and they look past the, don't have a job, and bring nothing to the table. This is until they realize he just isn't going to change this and dump him. Women want a man to be able to help them as much as possible in a relationship, and financial stability is a priority. Good luck, and I hope you find a job. Word of advice, it's always easier to find a job when you have one. So, take any job and look for a better one.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Your son and I have things in common :p thank you!!
2
u/AbbreviationsLarge63 1d ago
I hope not. He told me when he was thirteen that he really didn't like to work. Bless his heart, he meant it.
2
u/CatrorCade 1d ago
OP idk what state you live in but something that was really good for me was finding like a employment center in my area cuz they set me up with a job with a university that makes livable pay for my needs. I skipped colleg mans so like university job feels good and so does the pay. (Then again we do have different resumes but they won’t stop trying to help you cuz it’s their job and yeah)
2
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
That's what I'm thinking now is like in my city there's gotta be like state funded employment assistance I can hit up? Good call thank you bro
2
u/alexmixer 1d ago
Hugs bro hopefully rate cuts soon we need it so bad I can't get interviews and I have a freaking job !!!! It's baddddd like not one interview in months this is crazy
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Holy crape, even with a job? That's wild, thanks for the perspective. Much love bro
1
u/alexmixer 1d ago
Dude ya a crappy office reception/sales job and like I can't even get interviews for other shit office jobs with more pay like at least pay me bro it's awful 😞 prayers for us
1
u/alexmixer 1d ago
Try target or Kohl's tho bro my friends got hired quick recently if you can deal retail idiots
2
u/AquariuX007 1d ago
If you need something fast, apply for for an airport/airline job working ramp. Depending where you live they make good money. You’re still young so if you happen to like it, it’s a good career and opens doors for you to move around the company to different positions. I’m 27 and I make 38$ working for Southwest.
2
u/AquariuX007 1d ago
Also, I know what it’s like to to be on the edge putting in countless applications and hoping you get at least one!!! Good luck and don’t give up.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Thank you!! I'm on it
1
u/AquariuX007 8h ago
If you need help on the questionnaires or even the interview I’ll help!! Hope you find something out here! Most everyone seems to have been helpful
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Nice-Ad2414 23h ago
There's a way to structure your resume and also to frame it so that when you interview for jobs, you will know how to explain the job hopping -- I am not saying lie on your resume or lie in the job interview (because these are absolute no-no's) but there may be a way to fix it. There are videos on YouTube that might help with this. Please don't give up, the fact that you want to do the right thing and are determined to make things work counts for something. Just keep looking.
1
u/nothingguy22 23h ago
That's all I been trying to figure out! Ok, so check out YouTube? Thanks so much :)
2
u/SandwichEater_2 22h ago
There’s two possible ways you can look at, one is getting into trade like plumbing or other is joining the military.
Many of us have gone through career changes. So we understand. Also do you have a good friend that will tell you the truth to your face. If you do go talk to that person. Sometimes we need that type of talk.
1
u/nothingguy22 22h ago
I don't have that kind of friend, I wish man. No one to be trusted these days, look at half these comments, complete freaks.
Joining the military was always my dream growing up, the political corruption stopped me, however I'm willing now regardless due to circumstances and I'd still love to live out that dream. But I'm not sure if they'll accept me due to the fact I'm prescribed anti anxiety meds. Alot of people say go talk to a recruiter they will get me in somehow, so I'm gonna atleast try for the first time this week. It would be amazing to get in, a double win because it was my childhood dream and would solve all my current day problems. Thanks man
2
u/Killpop582014 19h ago
Have you checked out temp agencies? It might not always be work you like or love, but it’s work! I started my current job as a forklift operator through a temp agency and I’ve been there for 5 years now. Was made permanent after so many hours worked. Really rooting for you bro. This isn’t the end for sure, for you or the relationship if you keep your head down and just keep trying.
2
u/Fatboydoesitortrysit 16h ago
Sorry to hear this bud man life is scary it’s bad out there it might get worse too before it gets better I hope you land on your feet if she loves you she will stick with you and then you don’t have to sweat it in that part
2
u/nothingguy22 16h ago
Heck ya, it's very crazy, thank you for the kind words man!
1
u/Fatboydoesitortrysit 15h ago
Man believe me my life is all fucked up and I did the right shit in life went to college graduated got a small below average degree barely have enough savings in my 40s don’t own a home
1
3
u/RobertSF 1d ago
She's gonna stick with me no matter what
Then move in with her to save on rent, and be the father role she wants you to be. Stop calling yourself a failure. Success in our world is largely the product of privilege and luck. Middle-class kids don't go to college because they have an irrepressible passion for education. No, they go because their parents make them.
I need a way to make income,
Pull yourself together. If you just need an income, low-wage jobs won't turn you down because you've job-hopped. They don't care, so start there, and go from there.
Look, at some level, both of you are losers. She has two kids with no father, and you have no job. But if you can stick together and work together, you can make a stable, comfortable life for you all. Never stop believing that.
3
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Pretty solid comment until you called us both losers? Definitely gonna stick together though. Yeah idk, I've went in person dressed nicely to apply at like Starbucks for example with no luck lol.
→ More replies (1)
0
u/Agitated-Ad7158 1d ago
Do you have an education? Customer service is not a real career, no offense. There’s no long term trajectory with that kind of employment. What have you been doing the past 10 years?
6
u/Frequent-Working8355 1d ago
Depending on the company, you can definitely make a career starting out in customer service or even working up to roles within that same department. I know plenty of people making 6 figures in CS departments.
Your best bet is to use transferable skills on your resume (which there are many that you can pull from CS jobs). I would apply to administrative assistant roles.
→ More replies (11)1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Exactly, thanks for explaining this, yeah I been applying to administration with no success so far. It seems my experience is invisible and people just want to fixate on my most recent situation where my roles didn't last long. So that 4 years straight I worked means nothing to employers I guess
→ More replies (1)1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I know it's not a real career, i just worked jobs that pay like 20 a hour or less the past 10 years. I live with my family. I've always only made like 500 to 600 a week but now I make 0 a week so.
3
u/Agitated-Ad7158 1d ago
You need a path and goals in life. Don’t just look for bare minimum gigs. Find a real career. Have you thought about going back to school? You need goals
2
u/Agitated-Ad7158 1d ago
You didn’t fail anyone btw. I’m divorced and newly married. I didnt fail anyone. Shit happens.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Thanks I appreciate that. I can't help but feeling that at the very least, I may have failed myself. But I had like 5000 when I met her, and I've drained all the way to 1600 and that's why I feel a failure because I had a chance to gain some momentum if only I could have secured a job along the way but I'm not getting any looks on any customer service or dispatcher jobs anymore. Even with my experience. So I'm not sure what's up, I know my resume looks job hopperish, so I figure that's the main problem. I know I need to make way more money down the line, but I'm just trying to make like 500 to 600 a week right now to get back on my feet and afford our dates, maybe buy a toy once in awhile for the babies, afford gas and insurance.
1
u/Agitated-Ad7158 1d ago
Do you have an education?
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Only an associates degree in general studies. I obtained that when I was like 22, then I worked 4 years dispatching for one of the better plumbing companies in my state, then I spent the following 3 years doing very similar logistics / customer service jobs but each one was more toxic than the last when I was going through existential dread and I burned out really hard. Now I been unemployed for more than a year
1
u/Agitated-Ad7158 1d ago
Have you thought about picking up another degree? You need something to pay the bills. What are you passionate about or have some kind of interest in?
2
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Psychology. Yes I thought about it and would love it, but I need a job to stay afloat in the mean time. I can't just pour all my FAFSA into school and go to school all the time without working and have 0 dollars in the mean time. But ultimately when I get ahead a bit, if I do, I wanna go to school to become a psychologist
→ More replies (6)1
u/Agitated-Ad7158 1d ago
What does your gf do?
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
She is a stay at home mom she lives with her family too, she gets money from the state to support her children. She's fine. But her time is all tied up with them, we just see eachother for a date once a week right now.
2
u/Agitated-Ad7158 1d ago
I wouldn’t date anyone right now. No offense but she’s not someone who is going to propel your life at the moment. She’ll hold you back, at least for now. You need to put your oxygen mask on first before helping everyone else as the saying goes. Tell her you’re trying to make a living and need to focus on yourself first. If she’s with you while you’re studying then she’s a keeper. If not then say goodbye and go onto the next person. It sounds to me like you’re setting yourself up for failure again. When you make bank, the girls will come to you lol. They like to see confidence and career trajectory.
2
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I'd rather not opt to be all alone, she's definitely a keeper, she's awesome. I had no inspiration in life and now I do.
→ More replies (5)
1
u/diehardaway 1d ago
maybe take up a trade?
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Ok, for sure, I'm not that great with working with tools and stuff but I'd love to try to be a plumber. I'm not sure how to get in though
1
u/Fun_Wrangler_7320 1d ago
HVAC? I can't do that bc I'm so allergic to dust but it's great and takes about a year of trade school. Faster than bachelor's and far cheaper.
1
u/Nick2Real 1d ago
Uber and DoorDash. Something is better than nothing. Temp agencies.
From what it sounds like, the only thing you can probably get is manual labor.
If it’s pressing you this hard, it actually might be better to not date, you have no clue if she’ll stay with you forever. You’d save more money not dating.
2
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Yeah I'm not gonna stop dating her, we have a really close bond already, and I wasn't healthy when I had no sex life. And when I had no one to talk to and was all alone. So I'm not gonna stop dating her, no.
I'm not sure why I'd only qualify for manual labor with several years of experience in logistics and customer service.
Yeah I do GrubHub but the orders are scarce. Temp agencies have kind of fallen off a cliff too in my area, as to there's so many applicants I still get lost in the mix
1
u/Nick2Real 1d ago
Understood, it’s just something to consider, but I know it’s not easy, I probably wouldn’t if I were in your shoes either but it is the truth.
Jobs like those, like you said, are competitive. You’ll be competing with those that have better resumes that are down on their luck and younger people starting to work. Manual labor would be your best bet because those jobs are the least competitive. I’m a hiring manager, and I personally wouldn’t hire someone that can’t stay with a company for more than 2-3 months, regardless of the story. Nothing against you but if I had a list of candidates, I wouldn’t opt for the one that can’t stay anywhere long. I assume that’s what others are doing too.
That’s really unfortunate about the GrubHub and temp agencies. The only other recommendation I can give is doing odd jobs through Craigslist, helping people move, etc. Sales would be your best bet, like for plumbers, they have someone sell the service, you could be a technician. You have to humble yourself too and just do something that doesn’t pay $20/hr, I have the belief that there are a lot of jobs available but a lot of people just don’t want work the jobs that are available. A lot of people don’t want to be outside and do labor, me included, but these jobs are available.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I wouldn't mind those jobs at all, and I want to get back on track as to where my career is still recognized despite my last few stints. What would you recommend as a hiring manager, what would it take for you to be able to see my experience and live with the fact that I had some down times but I bounced back? Would that look good on a resume, like, to get back into dispatching if I worked somewhere for awhile and then got back into those kind of roles? Do I just need to work anywhere for a sustainable amount of time and then would I qualify or is my career over?
→ More replies (2)
1
u/Next_Engineer_8230 1d ago
What type of job are you looking for?
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I'm trying currently to resume my career in dispatching / logistics / customer service
1
1
u/DefiantAd2664 1d ago
Are you bpd?
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Naw I had a trauma based upbringing though. I have no ill intentions, only additive ones
1
u/DefiantAd2664 1d ago
I'm bpd so I'm not throwing shade at all . I hope you find work soon keep your head up.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Oh ok my best friend is BPD you are strong through it all thanks so much for the positive thought
1
u/Professor_Game1 1d ago
You could learn a trade such as electrical or HVAC. There's always work in skilled trades, and trade school tuition is super reasonable compared to a 4 year degree if you could get a loan together.
1
u/Impressive-Act6252 1d ago
I might be biased because i work for them but if you dont mind retail and get lucky with a nice store, lowes isnt a bad company to work for. You can get started with 0 experience and get hired at absolute minimum 14 an hour and of you ask generally higher than that. They also have very nice health insurance so maybe check it out?
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Lowes, ok ok cool, added to the list from good ideas on here. Thanks :)
1
u/CatrorCade 1d ago
Well adding to that point my mom keeps bugging me about working at Costco and if I was like not as lazy I prolly would’ve applied there by now but I keep forgetting about it lmaooo
2
1
1
1
u/Sabatat- 1d ago
I feel you homie, I just recently got a job after being losing my job for about 2 and a half months. There were things I have needed to get done for me and her and I just felt like I failed her so greatly.
1
1
1
u/Miserable-Post-1350 1d ago
And just FYI plumbing is hard as hell. Saw in one of your responses you thought you'd like plumbing... I don't even think many plumbers like plumbing. It's backbreaking and filthy work, pays well, but definitely not what I'd say was an easy trade to learn
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
Trust me I worked plumbers for 4 years and did concrete labor for 4 years, I am aware haha
1
1
1
u/nmuncer 1d ago
I had a depression, lost 9 high paying Jobs in 3 years, but I never gave up, my gf stayed because she knew I wouldn't give up. I recovered.
We now have an happy life, a nice house and a kid.
This could be you. It will be you !!
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
That's amazing :) smile to read this, thank you so much and so happy you guys landed. Alot of ppl don't get it with the depression
1
u/mordecaimillions 1d ago
I got laid off after 3 yrs at my job. I wasnt sweating it at all bcs i have 8yrs exp and a degree. I usually get hired on the spot. Im about 7 months deep and got no call back after 4 interviews in about 200 applications. Tell me why any of these jobs need more than what I have to offer? I have a feeling that theyre being highly judgemental of anyone who was unemployed for a long stretch bcs they assume you will camp on unemployment benefits. Also they seem to be wanting to hire as cheap as possible, so if they think you want good pay, they will hire someone with less experience. Since Theres massive layoffs, jobs have tons of options. Ive never seen it this bad. If you dont have kids or health problems, join the army. It was the best thing I ever did. Youll get free health care, education benefits, free housing, and a signing bonus.
1
u/nothingguy22 1d ago
I would love to join the army, they rig that too by preventing me cause of my medication (anti anxiety)
2
u/mordecaimillions 1d ago
Recruiters lie for a living. Theyre like used car salesman on crack. Just talk to them about it and theyll find a way to get u in. You cld stop taking meds until u get in and pick it up again later too.
1
1
u/IcedTeaLover4Evah 1d ago
Go to agencies. I told my brother to just google all the job agencies and show up with his resume, and he found a seasonal and on call job.
1
1
u/SomethingFancyHere 1d ago
Not really here to say anything other than, don't mentally limit yourself! You can do anything you put your mind too, and you have a beautiful woman backing you. The job market has absolutely been harsh lately, after months of applying to literally every job I qualified for in an hour range and getting nothing.. I finally applied to Spark through Walmart, got on pretty quick, if you've got a car and don't mind delivering, it's a good job and makes decent pay.
2
u/nothingguy22 22h ago
Your comment is great! I love delivering, it's very saturated market in my area nowadays though. I been on the wait list for instacart for like over a year lol. I'll still check out spark, and thank you SO much for the lovely words about my beautiful gf :) so positive compared to some of the nasty ppl on here. Thank you!
2
u/SomethingFancyHere 21h ago
No problem! I've noticed in my time that the most judgemental people are the ones ignoring their problems to focus on others (I've caught myself doing it). But I try to stay in a positive mindset no matter how bad things get, when we focus on he good, we're gonna notice more good things happening, but if we focus on the bad, all we're gonna see is all the bad stuff happening.
2
u/nothingguy22 21h ago
Your so right, that's what I figure, that anyone who wanted to paint me or my girl as bad people somehow with this post definitely need therapy of their own!!! But people like you make it all the worth it!! :)
1
u/nothingguy22 21h ago
Your so right, that's what I figure, that anyone who wanted to paint me or my girl as bad people somehow with this post definitely need therapy of their own!!! But people like you make it all the worth it!! :
1
u/StretcherEctum 23h ago
Go to any gas station and start working. And for God's sake stop gambling.
Edit: you won't work fast good because "you can't keep up"? No wonder you're not being hired if you can't figure out how to make it at a fast good job.
You really need to seek help.
1
u/nothingguy22 22h ago
I'm better at working on computers than I am with my hands. What's your deal? Your the one who needs help buddy. Freaking out about nothing
1
u/StretcherEctum 22h ago
You've been unemployed for a year and are a gambling addict who refuses to work fast food. You need therapy.
I would and did work ANY job available when I was unemployed.
1
u/nothingguy22 22h ago
I wouldn't refuse, I'm saying I wouldn't be good at it. It's a hard job, maybe you never took the time to notice cause you have your nose in the air about something fabricated within yourself. We all need therapy, including you, and though ive been unemployed I've held positions you would tap out from in the first week. Get a life
1
u/Dependent-You4277 22h ago
A lot of us are in the same boat, my friend. I've only been unemployed for 3 months but it feels like a lifetime. We have to keep plugging away, apply for everything, and call to follow up with each place. Best to you and put you first. I'm sorry a gf is not a wife and you need to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. Cut the cord love. I'm sorry 😞
1
u/nothingguy22 22h ago
That last part is dumb my friend but much blessings in your job search cause yes this does suck!!!
2
1
u/iluvs2fish 21h ago
Re: lying/embellishing the truth. My Grandmother used a phrase to clarify what happens when U lie. The phrase is from Sir Walter Scott’s play “Marmion”. It goes “Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive”. It signifies that starting to deceive others can lead to complex and difficult situations. Don’t go down that road. Don’t even start. Your personal integrity is too important. Hard work does pay off. Find a mentor, an older person U look up to & allow them to advise U. I’m a lot older then most folks on here & I grew up in a world where hard work, honesty & your reputation mattered. Hubs & I created 2 successful businesses & hired a lot of young people who went on to better jobs. I hope U find solid resilience to put one foot in front of the other & take a good hard look at your situation. 6 wks into a relationship is a time of newness & bloom. Just becuz it feels good doesn’t mean it’s right for U or her. Look down the road a ways. It’s hard to stick it out at times. Do U have what it takes to be a solid influence to her children? If U don’t walk away b4 U do damage. Take a break at least. She’ll understand if U speak from your heart. We have 4 girls, all degrees, solid jobs etc. We also cared for foster kids. None of it was rosy but we dug our heels in & will celebrate 40yrs together this yr. I had 2 young children, was divorced & never brought a date home till 3 mos after I started dating my hubs. He’s a man of integrity & understood why I took it slow. I hope U put the brakes on & take time to work on you. U will be the better for it. If U have no mentor find a counselor/social worker etc. It’s great to find a sounding board to guide U. Ask yourself if this is what’s best for you & this young Mom or if you are seeking love/comfort during a very trying time in your life. I wish U to find wisdom & some good luck.
1
1
u/Intelligent-Put-764 21h ago
I'd definitely take a step back and work on yourself a bit more, you may be spreading yourself too thin.
1
u/ThaRealOldsandwich 20h ago
Do you know any native Americans.
1
1
u/ThaRealOldsandwich 18h ago
I ask because most people think natives are lazy drunks. We work non traditional jobs. I have about 10 ways to make money out of what's in your environment.with absolutely no experience or training.and decent money.it takes physical work and pretty much is determined by the seasons. But there is always a way to get through if you look in the right places.dont get down on yourself shit will work out.it literally has to. Just remember sometimes you have to go through a bad place to appreciate a just okay one.
1
u/nothingguy22 11h ago
Solid, very cool 😎 any tips for how to make money so naturally like that?
1
u/ThaRealOldsandwich 11h ago
Also bro you have only failed when you have given up. She sees that and most likely how it's affecting you and understands your doing what you can with the tools you've been given. Into each life a little rain must fall and it makes the good times so much sweeter when you've suffered together.
→ More replies (2)
1
u/didyouthough30 20h ago
My mom has had depression from giving me birth 36 years ago & still fights that battle. She's not suicidal but stays mentally battling the world. I have met many people that say they have depression & maybe they do but knowing someone so close to me that has I guess I would say "such a serious" case I don't pay many ppl attention when they say they have depression. But I don't play around & down them or bash them either because I know the seriousness of it. & to really know if a person has depression you have to really know them. So im going to assume you really have depression & give you advice like I would give my own mother.....
You can't set around feeling sorry for yourself. The time you spend couped up felling sorry for yourself the world is still spinning & you're falling further behind. & the honest truth is there are ppl that care but the world doesn't. Also you keep diminishing yourself when talking about this woman or you're life in general. You do not respect yourself if you expect her to or anyone else in the long run. Recognize your worth & have faith in yourself.
I'm assuming if you're use to sitting behind a computer or phone working then you're also applying for jobs behind a computer or phone. Maybe change the way you are approaching job hunting. Maybe get out & talk to buisness owners/managers, knock on buisness doors, maybe instead of looking in mass calling center places online Recognize you may have to find a smaller buisness & maybe get a bigger roll. A career worth having don't come easy & instead of putting in the time to get "seniority" at a corporation just to hope & compete for a title you can bypass that in finding a smaller business, which to find you'll have to get out & search. & of all else fails you may find something that you fall in love with thats not your norm but comes very easily. Never give up & never stop moving forward. have confidence & believe in yourself brother & at the end of the day you have to realize how many people in this world have it worse than you. There's no way you have it worse than everyone else in the world. Not saying we have it easy because it's not but think of all the bad things that happen to people in the world, innocent people! So when I start to get down I think of a bad situation & it immediately gets me back up because how can I feel sorry for myself when people have went through so much more worse than me that's still up fighting hard not just for jobs but for their life. Keep on keeping on brother. You got this
1
u/nothingguy22 20h ago
Thank you so much for this clearly thoughtful comment, I wish you and your mother the very best and thank you for understanding I'm not making lightly when I claim depression!
1
u/didyouthough30 20h ago
I understand. & i don't know you but I know depression & trust me I will be praying for you brother. & you pray for me as well. I own my own company & why it's not easy staying in the demand I still owe for about half of the company, so it's a struggle every day but I still feel blessed with the opportunity & just the fight to stay in it. Then having a 2.5 year old & wife to provide for & stay a good model by providing is extra stress but I don't let it get to me it just motivates me more. But I say that to say I need prayer too. We all need prayer even the people that has the "easy life" that think they can do without prayer or just forgets about prayer. It is essential for us all. Thats just my belief. Not pressing it on you or disrespecting your beliefs
1
1
u/corixcal 19h ago
I'm a dispatch specialist and have a lot of tools. DM me and I can help get your resume/ contacts/ideas.
1
194
u/Fun_Wrangler_7320 1d ago
Losing 300k in 10 years to gambling is INSANE. Genuinely seek IRL help, not online help.