r/madlads 4d ago

McMaddie

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73.0k Upvotes

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6.4k

u/pizzaduh 4d ago

I was at smart and final some months ago and the barcode on my steaks wouldn't scan. I told the cashier to just enter it manually and he said, "Not for what they pay me." And put it in my bag for free.

3.4k

u/shewy92 4d ago

They've heard "Since it doesn't scan, it must be free" joke so many times they decided to whip out an Uno Reverse card

1.2k

u/RuffleFart 4d ago

That shit was sooooo fucking annoying way back when I was a cashier. Bitch I’ll charge you double.

443

u/Drugioh 4d ago

I've actually said "actually it means I get to make up the price right now unless you have a picture of the price tag"

274

u/divinefemithem 4d ago

one time at target some girl let me get pants for $3 bc they had no tag 🕺

148

u/Beard_o_Bees 4d ago

Every once in a great while, life throws you a bone.

For me it was 'clearance' priced ice cream - the checker let me walk out of the store with 2 large grocery bags full of excellent stuff for ~$7.00.

63

u/rani_weather 4d ago

I went to Spirit Halloween last year and I found a cool long sleeve shirt with mushrooms on it. It was like $30 but I wanted it. The girl at the register said "oh. Oh no. Oh this isn't supposed to be out these shouldn't be in stock" or something, and said "well I will give it to you for ... $5?" I said sold! 🤣

39

u/Ponderkitten 4d ago

My only time at a spirit Halloween I bought a sword and was gonna buy a cool DnD tin full of cherry candies but the lady checking me out scanned the sword then put it and the candies in a bag and when I went to double check if she got it as well she just told me to have a great day.

11

u/SmartAlecShagoth 4d ago

I got some nice ass shoes for ten bucks too

6

u/HannaaaLucie 4d ago

I once found a top that I liked for £22. It was the only one left on the shelf but had a small hole near the tag (looked as if the machine had missed some stitching).

I took it to the checkout and asked if they had any more because this one has a hole. The woman said no this is the last one.. I'll let you have it for £2.

I've never forgotten that bargain.

3

u/Umbr33on 4d ago

I remember a cashier at Target giving me some clearance bowls for $0.50 because it was missing the tag.

15

u/NErDysprosium 4d ago

My store's policy is that the cashier asks what sounds fair and charges them for that, since finding the price tag is more effort than it's worth most of the time.

My store director will give it away for free if she's on the floor, since it's our mistake and she's authorized to do that. I make a point of asking her how much I should charge the customer if she's within shouting distance, even if there's a different manager closer. I like giving things away when I have the opportunity.

1

u/Dismal-Prior-6699 4d ago

That honestly is even worse

21

u/landeisja 4d ago

Or the old “Did you find everything you need today?” “I didn’t find a million dollars” or some variation of.

14

u/footsteps71 4d ago

"hurr durr the winning lottery ticket hahahehehohohuhuhuehue"

Nah mate shut the fuck up.

11

u/alrighttreacle11 4d ago

If I had a quid every time I heard that I wouldn't need to win it

1

u/rickmccombs 4d ago

I remember when Hastings was open and they always asked if I found everything I needed. The rental DVD section in our store always has things out of place and there was usually something you couldn't find.

1

u/WimbletonButt 4d ago

Ingles made it worse. In that store, if it doesn't ring up right, you actually do get the first one free. The rest are scanned at the corrected price. This worked in my favor once buying a $30 can of baby formula that didn't ring up right. My kid ate free for like 2 days!

2

u/RuffleFart 4d ago

Baby formula is so incredibly expensive. I called around a few months ago trying to track down a very specific formula and no one local had it. Wasn’t my kid but I know how to pull strings. Ended up finding it and securing a case. Sooooooo expensive, I think it was $60 a container x6 yoinks

1

u/Ellie_Anna_13 4d ago

My dad would make that joke a lot and I would be absolutely mortified 😭 I always apologized to the cashier because I know for a fact that had heard that wayyyyy too many times. They were always polite but still I found it annoying so I can't imagine how they felt

1

u/joeyau10 4d ago

Mmmmik.

1

u/RepulsiveAd6906 4d ago

I work in a convenience store/deli, and I get people saying that they should get discounts. "For how many I bought I should/Since I had to wait for the coffee I should get-" My dude, I don't even get a discount. You are about to get double charged if you keep it up!

1

u/RuffleFart 4d ago edited 4d ago

🤣 when I worked at a convenience store my last year of high school, we were allowed free fountain drinks and coffee. But I took whatever the fuck I wanted lmao. And I would only give free stuff to first responders, I would tell them just get a bunch of fountain drinks because those cost next to nothing.

Also one time there was a bitch customer trying to buy beer but I had to ID them. She threw a fit, so I said sorry systems are down I can’t finish this transaction 🤪

1

u/RepulsiveAd6906 4d ago

I'm rather honest with my customers. Mind, I get free coffee, but I dont drink it, so if I get a stray first responder, fire-fighter or local officer, I usually let them go for a cup, basically just saying it's mine, since I'd otherwise not make use of it. Only major issue here is that we have to I.D. everyone for cigarettes, regardless if you look like you are 12, or look like you have a week to live before turning to dust. So I get quite a few people who like to give me a hard time over it.

1

u/Skeleton_Steven 4d ago

I used to GET OFF on just staring down people that made the obvious jokes. The best was when they'd follow up with "that was a joke" and I'd get to hit them with the Han Solo "I know."

1

u/shoulderthenidrunkbe 4d ago

I would hit the $0.05/bag button a couple times everytime someone annoyed me with stupid jokes like that

1

u/Chewie_i 4d ago

Yup. I got the added “more like dollar twenty-five tree” as well when I worked at Dollar Tree. Ya I fucking know inflation ruins everything. 3 other people have made that joke this shift.

1

u/Samtoast 3d ago

Yeah but now that no one can afford shit just give em a "sure does" and do it.

1

u/Afrekenmonkey 3d ago

I liked telling them I’ll give you half off double.

1

u/splattered_cheesewiz 3d ago

I would let shit slide for free if it didn’t scan UNLESS they said that.

1

u/HikeMyPantsUpJohnson 2d ago

“Si il ya pas de prix, cest gratuit” i hope you die

1

u/TeapotHoe 2d ago

Those people get charged. The people that offer to get another item with a price tag get it for free.

-140

u/Affectionate-Sir-784 4d ago

Why do you care? Genuinely curious.

198

u/Gaulipan 4d ago

When you hear the same joke 800 times a day, shit gets old FAST.

74

u/AlbacoreDumbleberg 4d ago

It's like when people hand back a completely finished plate at a restaurant and joke they didn't enjoy their meal. Yes.. Very funny.

36

u/bobbery5 4d ago

As someone who was a vegetarian for a long time.
"Did you know vegetarian is an old Indian word for bad hunter? Heeheehoohoo"
Made me wanna go cannibal right then and there.

27

u/Narren_C 4d ago

I've actually never heard that one

21

u/Fatality_Ensues 4d ago

Never heard of that one, but I'll be sure to use it on the next ten vegetarians I find.

6

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 4d ago

When you stopped being vegetarian, what was your first meaty meal?

10

u/Milch_und_Paprika 4d ago

Cannibalism

10

u/TarnishedWizeFinger 4d ago

Makes sense. That's why so many of us have never heard the joke

3

u/Any_Positive1617 4d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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5

u/Resident-Hope1881 4d ago

I’m stealing this

4

u/Juststandupbro 4d ago

Actually it’s Latin for anemic but that’s none of my business

1

u/Anonreddit96 4d ago

I'm an Indian who knows all the major languages and this is definitely not true.

1

u/Hopeful_Mouse_4050 4d ago

Be a cannibal who's otherwise a vegetarian. As far as meat goes, if it ain't human, you ain't consumin'!

8

u/boycowman 4d ago

Or when people call older people “young man” and “young lady.”

19

u/RuffleFart 4d ago

Old white women LOVE that type of compliment

19

u/rickyspanish42069 4d ago

I got so many brownie points as a server because I carded all the women. I loved when a woman would come in with her daughter, I’d ask for ID and the mom would ask “mine too? Haha” not expecting me to say yes. As I get older, it is a little ego boost to get carded.

9

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 4d ago edited 4d ago

As a 38-year-old man, I take it as a compliment when I get carded, even though I know it's probably meaningless. At the very least, it usually means they aren't sure if I'm over 35... so that's something.

2

u/Medical_Slide9245 4d ago

I used to go round and round when i turned 40 because all the places that sell booze had these stickers that said "We card under 40."

I'd be like I'm exempt when they would ask and point at the sign.

1

u/RuffleFart 4d ago

Some places require carding of everyone. The cash register won’t even work if an age-restricted item is scanned and it forces an id to be scanned.

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u/grahamcrackers37 4d ago

One of my first managers was extremely chivalrous with every little old lady he could. I worked there 5 years and only saw one person draw the line with him.

They all loved it.

4

u/Bon3rBonus 4d ago

I don't know how much that has to do with skin colour? In my experience as a cashier, older women in general tend to like it if we happen to be chatting and I ask for their ID for alcohol, some don't but it's never skin colour that would indicate it

5

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 4d ago

I was thinking the same thing. I worked with the elderly for years, and almost all older women beam uncontrollably if you insinuate in any way that they're young. It's pretty universal. I don't know why skin color has to go into every conversation about everything all the time, but here we are.

0

u/RuffleFart 4d ago

Depends on where you live

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u/Ok-Present9915 4d ago

I sho do !

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u/irosk 4d ago

Joke is I've never met a woman over 25

6

u/Independent_Bath_922 4d ago

Asking a senior citizen if they're over 21 🤦🏽‍♂️

4

u/9Lives_ 4d ago

“I’ll have a large coffee with milk to go”

“Any sugar?”

“No I’m sweet enough 😉”

“HAHAHAHHAHHAAHHAHAJAJAJA OMG HILARIOUS!!!!!”

5

u/itsjbean 4d ago

When I was a table busser, it was me asking, "can I get anything out of your way?" and them responding, "you can get this!" hands me their unpaid check

2

u/RabidPoodle69 4d ago

Yeah, that's why you don't give them an opening. Just ask "may I take your plate?" Problem solved

1

u/newfor2023 4d ago

Certainly just pay it and I'll take it away

1

u/striker_p55 4d ago

Then the server asks “ is there anything else I can get for you?” and they laugh and reply with “yeah a million dollars haha” then we all have to stand around and fake laugh before passing out on whippets in the beer cooler

1

u/iv_sugar_junkie 4d ago

or they give it to the baby/child, "he/she's paying!" hahaha OH WAIT NO.

1

u/Weirdpenguin00 4d ago

it’s just exhausting to whip out the fake laugh 😪

1

u/DontBelieveMyLies88 4d ago

Used to wait tables at Applebees when I was in college. Can’t even count how many times I had customers ask for a refund after eating 90% of their meal because they didn’t enjoy it. All I could think was “it’s Applebees, nothing here besides the blondie and mozzarella sticks are enjoyable”

1

u/Mundane_Bumblebee_83 4d ago

Maybe im jus broken but i find those little interactions annoying in a fun way, ive even been like “ohhhh my godddd i hear that all the time” all dramatic like, and we both get a laugh

And if its a shitty day, its jus an eyeroll and at least i dont have to think about it much

Maybe its like anti pet peeve of mine?

1

u/boooooilioooood 4d ago

Can I get you anything else?

HUUUHHH HUGHHH!! HOW BOUT A MILLION BUCKS?!?!?!

1

u/TheIncredibleMrJones 4d ago

I'm a dad, and that's all I have when I am at the restaurant. Why are you being mean to me?

14

u/slayerx1779 Enjoying classic banter 4d ago

As tiny as it is, I try to put myself in their shoes.

It's the 800th time you've heard the joke, but it's the first time in months they've gotten to tell it.

It made it easier for me to laugh with them, in that context.

2

u/StatusBorn1397 4d ago

As tiny as it is, I try to put myself in their shoes.

r/nocontext

1

u/slayerx1779 Enjoying classic banter 3d ago

No idea why, but I find these sorts of stupid, obvious mistakes are more common lately.

Maybe I need some sleep, or to get my head checked. XD

4

u/MooMooTheDummy 4d ago

Try working at a senior living home I have the same ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS everyday.

4

u/guessesurjobforfood 4d ago

In my retail days I'd hear this at least 10-20 times a day from people paying in cash:

Careful, inks still wet, ha ha ha

or

Just printed it myself, he he he

That joke wasn't funny the first 1000 times I heard it, but sure let's try again.

5

u/Juststandupbro 4d ago

Some people are just trying to make pleasant small talk and you are essentially an npc so not really much that can happen that will warrant varying replies. Seems more like you just hate your job and would prefer to suffer in silence. I’d much rather hear an over used cliche than a Karen.

1

u/IAmGoingToFuckThat 4d ago

I didn't hate my job when I worked in grocery, but these 'clever' lines were absolutely not funny and i heard them at least once per day.

1

u/ClemClamcumber 4d ago

And they all have this shit eating grin like, "man, they're gonna be so impressed by this joke."

1

u/Mind_Vessel 4d ago

Autistic cashier here. Yes. Yes it does. No I do not realize you are joking. Please be kind to service workers we are actively having the worst times of our lives because we need money.

1

u/dormango 4d ago

Did no one put the prices on any of the goods in your store?

0

u/Dick-Fu 4d ago

Been there, done that, you're just a bitch

5

u/escapevelocity-25k 4d ago

Because if you give shit away for free all the time you won’t have a job for long

4

u/mycricketisrickety 4d ago

That's part of it too, like it's also just kinda tacky to all for free stuff at a place with almost 0 incentive to ever just give something away for free. Turns into one of those "do I come to your place of work and 'jokingly' ask you for free stuff?" kind of feelings

-3

u/PaperHandsProphet 4d ago

Grocery stores sell things below market price or give away for free all the time to get customers in

5

u/mycricketisrickety 4d ago

Yeah but not the thing people are putting on the belt at the front that they put in the cart with the intention of paying for at the register. That's why I didn't say 0

-1

u/PaperHandsProphet 4d ago

Coupons, people would come in with like 100$ and get it to 0 with coupons fairly regularly when I was a checker.

3

u/mycricketisrickety 4d ago

That's not giving stuff away for free and that is intended to get to 0 because of the coupon. These are planned activities. The stupid joke stems from unplanned things like not being able to scan something.

1

u/Ok-Winter-8077 4d ago

Yes, but that's approved by the store. Giving shit away unauthorized as a cashier could get you fired or even charged with theft. Not smart for a cashier to do that.

2

u/coochellamai 4d ago

This is a good question. I’m really good at shifting paradigms and this one is confusing me lol

7

u/OhNoTokyo 4d ago

You don't understand why it would be annoying as fuck to have everyone use the same joke constantly on you when a piece of your equipment fails and you have to take special action to get it to work so you can complete your task and not get fired for failing to properly check someone out?

Everybody's a comedian, I guess.

3

u/coochellamai 4d ago

I do understand why it would be annoying. I don’t understand Giving into anger because someone does what I expect them to do.

Customers are stupid and use the same jokes, getting angry at them doesn’t change that or your day

9

u/Assyx83 4d ago

Being annoyed often comes with anger and everyone knows that people are not rational under anger, does that make sense to your rational logic?

1

u/coochellamai 4d ago

This makes sense, thank you

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u/Curious_Departure770 4d ago

Being annoyed isn’t giving into anger. Now slapping the customer for being annoying, that’s giving into anger.

5

u/coochellamai 4d ago

Oh you’re definitely right actually! I think I was conflating the two tbh. Both do have the propensity to change your state of being though for the worse tho

2

u/RuffleFart 4d ago

Some customers need to be slapped.

1

u/OhNoTokyo 4d ago

Anger isn't generally something you can flip on and off like a light switch.

Yes, you can try to choose to not get angry at it, but some jobs just wear on you after awhile.

From my short time working in a supermarket, cashier can be one of those. You just get sick of people's shit.

1

u/InactiveRelish 4d ago

They were just saying that it pissed them off its not like they were gonna start screaming at the customer for making a dumb joke lmao

1

u/coochellamai 4d ago

Yeah I get it completely! Just from my perspective when you cuss someone out in your head or in real life, it does not make a difference for your emotional state of being. I think I was focusing too much on that

1

u/Holyvigil 4d ago

Getting told the exact same joke over and over again gets annoying fast. Something not scanning happens multiple times in a 8 hour period let alone a 40 hour a week period. We get that joke a lot more often than we get random good job or keep it up comments.

2

u/coochellamai 4d ago

This makes sense but none of it has to do with the person telling the joke. This is actually a good example of how to teach emotional intelligence

1

u/Recon212 4d ago

Likes getting shafted by billion dollar companies daily

1

u/Echelion77 4d ago

Becuase of the entitlement.

Two types of people in this world.

Entitled people

& people who have to deal with the entitlement.

Recently, the second group ran out of fks to give.

1

u/mycricketisrickety 4d ago

Speaking from some long-ago retail ptsd, after the 109th person to tell you that joke, half of which are semi serious, it's just not fuckin funny anymore. Retail is such a soul sucking experience and customers in retail are oblivious at best, and horrible at worst to retail workers. So when I have to hear the shitty joke from the rich lady with the screaming kids or the annoying guy flirting with the too-young cashier or whatever the case, or the young kids you thought might try to steal the thing anyway, that joke just stopped being funny at a point and became annoying as fuck instead.

1

u/codeaway1234 4d ago

As somebody who worked a job with a similar, repetitive joke: you have to put a face on every day. Sometimes, you aren't having a good day. And on those days, you still need to say "thanks for shopping at Costco. I love you" even though you just want to curl up on the couch and cease to exist for a while.

So there you are. You're taking care of another customer. Business as usual. Zoning out, and getting through the day. Minutes are taking hours. And then it happens. He says the fucking joke. He's the 10th guy this month that gets to you in line and says the joke. He looks at you expectantly. His expression says it all: "ARENT I JUST SO CLEVER?! REWARD ME. LAUGH AT MY GENIUS".

And you just want to snap. You want to tell him you've heard better jokes in a Catholic mass. But you can't. You have to come back to work tomorrow. So you summon up that frustratingly difficult, last existing ounce of energy to say "haha, yeah. Good one" and you bite your tongue.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

Because when you deal with sometimes 100+ customers in a day you start to seriously not give a shit about their stale jokes.

1

u/IAmThePonch 4d ago

Have you worked retail? Do you know what the repetition of…. Everything does to one’s brain?

1

u/Icy-Point58 4d ago

Mood. Not everyone is happy all 8-16 hours a day that they work.

1

u/Been1LongDay 4d ago

Because your not as affectionate as you think trying to lighten the mood with a stupid joke

1

u/RuffleFart 3d ago

I would charge you quadruple with that attitude

99

u/Emperor_Gourmet 4d ago

When I was a cashier my store told us that discounts $50 and under I could give out without manager approval to keep people happy. Sometimes people would make that joke and I always found it hilarious to say “no”, manually ring in the item and give them like 10% off their entire order. Their disappointment and change to being elated was so fucking funny to me. I didn’t give a shit since it was a job in college and a huge retailer so id hand out discounts like candy.

My friend came in once just to say hi and i was like “that was nice of you to break up my day, here is 75% off everything” lol. I miss not giving a shit

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u/Saintly-Mendicant-69 4d ago

It's not too late to start giving zero shits once more

21

u/Emperor_Gourmet 4d ago

Unfortunately that was a college job for beer money. I since got my degree and work in an entirely different industry. If i ever am between jobs and am a cashier I will be right back to not giving a shit lol

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u/WeAreTheLeft 4d ago

My best friend worked at a pizza place and my mom called in for an order, two large pizzas or the like, should have been like $20 dollars or more. She went, "ok, thanks Ms. (my last name) your total is $2.89" and hung up. I wasn't even living at home, I was away at college, but she still gave my parents the hook up.

1

u/RuffleFart 3d ago

College roommate worked at a pizza place. All I had to do was text message him “pizza please”. And when he got home there would be the largest sized pizza (like mega family size) and the same size box of garlic parm twists. Soooo much food. Depending on how my friends were I’d invite them over to get some. My roommates manager didn’t give a shit lol.

1

u/WeAreTheLeft 3d ago

My friend was in a relationship with the manager, which is why she didn't get in trouble. In HS we went by the shop to see when she was off so we could plan when to go bowling, she said give me 5 mins, went to the back and came out 5 mins later and said we can go. Apparently head is enough to get you let go early for the night when you are dating the manager.

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u/NewCobbler6933 4d ago

That actually happened to me once in a big way. I bought a giant filet to make for a group of people in a mountain town Safeway which was custom cut at the meat dept. well I guess they mislabeled it or something, and I was sweating because I realized it was like a $100+ piece of meat. I was chopping it up with the cashier and she made some attempts to scan and finally bagged it with the rest of the groceries we were buying for the weekend. Once we left I thought the total was kinda low so I looked at the receipt and saw she never rang the meat up.

3

u/dejushin 4d ago

oh my god, I guess customers are the same everywhere

2

u/Ummmgummy 4d ago

Lmao. That's right up there with the ol restaurant saying. Waiter asks "did you enjoy your meal?". Customer: "oh as you can see I HATED IT!" (pan down to an empty plate) Everyone: loud fake laughs

1

u/Gouken- 4d ago

Lmao 😂😂

1

u/ThumbMe 4d ago

Can I help you? Yeah, how about the winning lottery numbers? Everyone in a mile radius: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHOA THAT IS FUNNY!