I think I screwed up.

[u/strikecat18]

Okay. So after nearly 10,000 replies telling me the space looked barren, I thought I should change things for everyone’s benefit.

I got a new entertainment stand and told the kiddos they could hang some stuff and keep some toys out.

Then I got a warmer color sectional. But the lack of an ottoman felt weird, so I bought a different set and planned to use both. Then discovered they don’t both fit.

I’m looking at this mess tonight and wonder wtf I did and where I go now. It feels totally out of control.

[u/HaroldSax]

I see you are also a man who cannot accurately visualize dimensions and just goes yea, fuck it, that sounds about right.

[u/strikecat18 → u/HaroldSax]

Absolutely. lol

[u/ohlaph → u/strikecat18]

Just. One. More. Couch.

[u/shart-gallery → u/ohlaph]

I reckon he can fit another. Make it brown

[u/psychadelicbreakfast → u/shart-gallery]

He took this picture standing on the other couch

[u/hexthecat → u/shart-gallery]

But it has to be a 4th brown, none of that matchy matchy shit.

[u/Zealousideal-Role-77 → u/hexthecat]

And swap the blue rug for a brown one.

[u/randomwellwisher → u/Zealousideal-Role-77]

Walls too white. My guy needs some Benjamin Moore Brown-As-Shit Brown stat.

[u/AsherFischell → u/shart-gallery]

ADD ANOTHER COUCH TO THE ROOM. MAKE IT BROWN, MAKE IT LAME

[u/cdawwgg43 → u/AsherFischell]

Right away Ms. Kennedy

[u/JohnDillermand2 → u/shart-gallery]

The key is stacking. The room needs more verticality.

[u/twinmamamangan → u/JohnDillermand2]

I don't think he can stack a couch unless he gets that bunk couch

[u/More_Farm_7442 → u/shart-gallery]

He can squeeze in another little chair in the lower left corner.

[u/Momik → u/shart-gallery]

Off- brown

[u/MusclePrestigious530 → u/ohlaph]

This was already funny before I noticed the fourth brown couch behind the others. Spectacular, don’t listen to anyone keep adding couches until nothing else will fit.

[u/countertopwise → u/MusclePrestigious530]

Did you notice the blue miniature chair? That was the cherry on top

[u/PuzzlingDarling → u/countertopwise]

Did you notice the brown recliner to the left? You can only see the foot part. I think it's part of the back brown couch, probably a sectional.

[u/MusclePrestigious530 → u/PuzzlingDarling]

Wait, yeah, I think the fourth brown couch actually wraps around this whole situation. That would take this thing to the next level.

[u/midtownkitten → u/countertopwise]

But why isn’t it brown?

[u/NoWarning____ → u/ohlaph]

Just one more couch bro. Just one more couch it’ll pull the room together bro.

[u/jerrys153 → u/ohlaph]

“Got a couple of couches, sleep on the loveseat”

[u/ryceritops2 → u/jerrys153]

Someone keeps saying I’m insane to complain about a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt 🤷‍♂️

[u/jerrys153 → u/ryceritops2]

Don’t believe everything that you breathe, you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve

[u/ryceritops2 → u/jerrys153]

So shave your face with some mace in the dark. Saving all your food stamps and burning down the trailer park. Yo. Cut it.

[u/seats-taken- → u/ohlaph]

Two words for you.....Bunk Couches.

[u/Chance_Vegetable_780 → u/ohlaph]

Correction: Just. One. More. Ouch.

[u/grumpydad24 → u/ohlaph]

I can hear the legs peeling off already.

[u/HaroldSax → u/strikecat18]

Brother, may we never learn. It's always funny to me, so here's hoping it keeps being funny.

[u/strikecat18 → u/HaroldSax]

Dude, last month I was sure that a giant box from Costco would fit in my trunk. Bought it five minutes before close. By the time I determined it absolutely would not fit in my car, the store was closed. Wife needed to come rescue me in the parking lot with her SUV.

[u/Labyrinthy → u/strikecat18]

Hey at least it happened when you had an SUV.

Did that in my early 20s and buddy basically had to hang out the window and hold it down on my roof. I drove an Impreza at the time so no one was suspicious.

[u/monkey_trumpets → u/strikecat18]

So there's this newfangled contraption called a measuring tape. They sell them at every hardware store. I would strongly suggest you go buy like, ten of them, and distribute them all over your house and car. Also, always carry one with you.

[u/Potato-Engineer → u/monkey_trumpets]

That's just silly. Wild guessing has never let me down, except for all of the times it let me down.

[u/ryencool → u/strikecat18]

So like, did you not measure anything? Take photos and the super impose the new furniture? Or do what we did and put painters tspe down on the floor in the exact dimensions of the sectional?

My wife learned this lesson almost 7 years ago and ill never for get it. We each had our own places then. She had never bought furniture, and needed a couch. She found this cool vintage looking elegant couch, and she was so excited about it. It comes a few weeks later, and other turns out it's like mini furniture. I'm talking we can barely fit both of our asses on it. It was like something you'd put at the end of a bed or in a large closet to sit down and put your shoes on.

I looked at her, and asked if she got the dimensions of the couch before ordering. She said no, just looked at the pictures.

[u/SkepticAquarian876 → u/strikecat18]

I need another wide picture of the room. This looks like a Russian nesting doll set up. Is that a L shaped dark brown sectional recliner?

Do you have a garage?

How big are the other rooms/ bedrooms?

[u/Spam-ImmitationHam → u/SkepticAquarian876]

Big enough that he has 3 king size beds and a queen in his bathroom

[u/TGrady902 → u/strikecat18]

My first couch I knew how big the space was and I knew what size couch would fit. What I didn’t think about is how much room would be left once the couch was in the room. The entire two years I lived at that apartment I could only open the front door halfway because it hit the back of the couch.

[u/rashie8111 → u/HaroldSax]

Measure once. Cut twice!

[u/Hopeful-Minimum-5164]

Bro....what? Talk about 0 to 100.

[u/whiskersMeowFace → u/Hopeful-Minimum-5164]

I am here for this adventure. I think I live for it now. From just safes to all of the couches...

[u/Djcproductions → u/whiskersMeowFace]

WAIT I didn't even realize it was the safe guy. Omg this is gold 🤣 wtf

[u/grantorinogravity → u/Djcproductions]

I didnt until I saw the custom box in the corner lol

[u/TheMagicMrWaffle → u/grantorinogravity]

The safe guy has kids?

[u/Djcproductions → u/TheMagicMrWaffle]

Yes he said that here in the bedroom post and no one believed it lmao

[u/Fred-the-stray → u/Djcproductions]

Oh god I remember this post! Ha!!! Best part is he’s back for round 2 of roasting! Looks like he sold one of the Rolexes for another leather sectional

[u/amd2800barton → u/Djcproductions]

You know I saw that original post, and somehow missed that he has a cat litter box for his 3+ cats, RIGHT next to the head of the bed. Like what the fuck?

[u/enkelvla → u/grantorinogravity]

I thought that’s a weird looking fridge and then I spotted the dreaded box 😭

[u/Drkhrs16 → u/Djcproductions]

Lmfao this is one of the funniest updates I’ve ever seen

[u/ertri → u/Djcproductions]

This has to be performance art

[u/DopeSeek → u/Djcproductions]

THIS IS SAFE GUY? 🤯

[u/realstairwaytokevin → u/Djcproductions]

I almost commented "oh another person with a safe in there living room" and then read those and realized it was the same person lmao

[u/whiskersMeowFace → u/Djcproductions]

I know! I didn't either until I saw the safe behind all of the kid drawings. I am rolling!!! I now live for this saga and my friends think I am insane because I have been talking about this nonsense. XD

[u/Djcproductions → u/whiskersMeowFace]

Man isn't that just the worst? Like when you find some funny shit like this that interests you and you try to tell your friends but they just don't/ can't get it because they haven't watched this nonsense unfold. Truly a hilarious saga though 🤣

[u/whiskersMeowFace → u/Djcproductions]

And then you excitedly explain it, and they're just sitting there dumbfounded because it's just not the same as witnessing it unfold.

[u/Lil_b00zer → u/Djcproductions]

I zoomed in on what I thought was a silver fridge in the corner and then I was like

Leonardo di Caprio pointing meme

The safe guy!

[u/helpitgrow → u/whiskersMeowFace]

OMG. This is safe guy? Makes this thread even better. So glad I know this now. I

[u/Nursem1920 → u/Hopeful-Minimum-5164]

He said it feels totally out of control 😂😭💀 omg I’m hysterical phew I needed a laugh

[u/palibe_mbudzi → u/Nursem1920]

Same. My favorite part is that the first post was only 5 days ago

[u/MaterialWillingness2 → u/palibe_mbudzi]

How did the sofas multiply that fast?

[u/MountainToPrairie → u/Nursem1920]

I’m laughing so hard I’ve got tears and my stomach hurts. The sheer amount of sofas in one week is… incredible.

[u/killxswitch → u/Hopeful-Minimum-5164]

As wild a switch as this is, the room is now 100x more inviting. It’s too much but it’s still an improvement IMO.

[u/Excellent-Hour-9411 → u/killxswitch]

I don’t even know where or how one would sit? The room has rows of couches like they’re fucking shark teeth

[u/chattahattan → u/Excellent-Hour-9411]

I need you to know I’m literally crying laughing at this analogy 😭😭😭

[u/sevbenup → u/Hopeful-Minimum-5164]

I cannot fathom what the next update from this guy will entail. At some point I’m confident his place burns down and he goes full Fight Club

[u/RhasaTheSunderer]

On the bright side, your place is perfect for when you're having a house party of 20+ people

[u/shart-gallery → u/RhasaTheSunderer]

He can congregate them into this sea of brown leather to answer all questions about The Safes™.

[u/RhasaTheSunderer → u/shart-gallery]

Took me a second to get the reference and then I realized this is the safe guy lol, holy he went 0 - 100 on the furniture

[u/shart-gallery → u/RhasaTheSunderer]

Right? Either he’s the most elaborate troll we’ve ever had, or just deeply style-challenged with too much money to throw around lmao

[u/strikecat18 → u/shart-gallery]

I’m concerned how bad my choices are when people are convinced I must be a troll.

[u/shart-gallery → u/strikecat18]

I’m so glad you’re not a troll. But I’m also deeply sorry for your style-blindness

[u/groucho_barks → u/strikecat18]

How is this not trolling? There's no way this room was bare 2 days ago and is now so filled with clutter. 

[u/Grad_Student_2022 → u/shart-gallery]

I feel like he is trolling though. A few days ago posted the little corner area with a lamp and plant- in this picture above it’s already COVERED in clutter. Big change for someone who seemed to have no belonging haha

[u/jeffro3339 → u/RhasaTheSunderer]

As long as they're sitting. Sitting room only! :)

[u/ozifrage]

I don't care if you're trolling this series of bizarre decisions is the hardest Ive laughed in a while.

[u/maddie-dee-gaming → u/ozifrage]

Like it is SO full of stuff yet is still the least home-y house I’ve ever seen?

[u/MangoAnt5175 → u/maddie-dee-gaming]

Just doesn’t feel safe, yknow?

[u/thetriplehurricane → u/MangoAnt5175]

I cackled at this

[u/LochnessDigital]

I fully believe we’re being trolled at this point.

[u/sasfasasquatch → u/LochnessDigital]

A few safes would totally tie the room together

[u/OrneryError1 → u/sasfasasquatch]

The kids hung art on the safe...

[u/storm_zr1 → u/OrneryError1]

Also the chair is blocking the safe. So if he needs access to his pew pews he needs to move the chair.

[u/bobroscopcoltrane → u/sasfasasquatch]

Safes with wooden boxes built around them and a floor lamp on top.

[u/Waddiwasiiiii → u/LochnessDigital]

Definitely. He keeps saying he moved in 3ish years ago- I’m convinced he just took a progression of photos over that time, putting shit in weird places during the move in process while deciding where everything would go, just to play some weird long game epic troll.

And by god it’s all paying off.

[u/groucho_barks → u/LochnessDigital]

It has to be. All the clutter in this pic does not look like it appeared in one day.

[u/Eulettes → u/groucho_barks]

I choose to believe it appeared over one Presidents’ Day weekend of incredible furniture deals.

[u/FatalFirecrotch → u/groucho_barks]

It didn’t. 

[u/LiterallyJoeStalin → u/LochnessDigital]

I actually hope this is a troll at this point cause the idea of what he’s putting his family through based on the whims of Reddit… oof all that watch money is gonna be going to therapy for the kids. 

[u/BestAtempt → u/LochnessDigital]

Yea, this is not just furniture. There is so much stuff that just wasn’t around before.

[u/pig_n_anchor → u/BestAtempt]

Including a pumpkin. Clearly a fall decoration

[u/corvuspicapica → u/pig_n_anchor]

Okay but there is also what looks like a santa on top of the safe?? All seasons represented in this house

[u/RetroMedux → u/BestAtempt]

This guy probably just moved into a new place and was taking pictures of mostly unfurnished rooms. He's probably moved stuff that fit his old place so it looks ridiculous while the new place is unfinished.

I refuse to believe anyone lives like this.

[u/eccentric_rune]

Not the kids' art over the gun safe!

[u/WideLegJaundice → u/eccentric_rune]

i’m just now realizing this is THAT living room 😂😂 i gotta update my bf on this lol whatttt the ffffffff

[u/hotsaucebunny → u/eccentric_rune]

LMFAOOOOOO OUT OF POCKET AS HELL

[u/MangoAnt5175 → u/eccentric_rune]

How you gonna start blasting if you gotta excavate first?

[u/anthonyrucci → u/eccentric_rune]

Scrolled too long to find this. Dying.

[u/Chanitheestallion]

You’re the safe guy?? Omg. You haunt my consciousness. The kids drawings are sooooo cute and absolutely make the space imo

[u/Charming_Violinist50 → u/Chanitheestallion]

The space went so far in the opposite direction I didn't even recognise this was Safe Guy. It legit swung from terribly barren to 100 couches on a rug real quick

[u/bbcjbb]

You have so many rooms you could put a small sofa in, use them lol

[u/uberdosage → u/bbcjbb]

Yea, like one in the corner of your room facing your bed

[u/mood777 → u/uberdosage]

💀

[u/camirose → u/bbcjbb]

Yeah the office could use a side chair or something

[u/ghostface477]

My dogs would be jumping from couch to couch like a Trampoline Warehouse

[u/Probably-Fae → u/ghostface477]

Wheezing because you're so right! PARKOUR!

[u/H3ll0123]

It's furniture splosion! OK, the love seat goes in the bedroom, the darker brown goes where the current couch is, and the current couch swings over to where the love seat was. If there is any way at all to expand out the area, I would do so. You probably don't want to hear this next, but you need a different rug. One that ties the different hues together. The current rug could go in the bedroom area as well. The little person chair stays.

[u/Wardogs96 → u/H3ll0123]

That little person's chair is really shouldering the brunt of this presentation. Without it this would be awful.

[u/Raunchy-Rapscallion]

r/tvtoohigh

[u/CJ_Guns → u/Raunchy-Rapscallion]

It’s like, excruciatingly high.

How the fuck does this keep happening?

[u/pau-hana-time → u/CJ_Guns]

Gotta keep it high so the people on the back couch can see over the people on the front couch.

[u/DeHarigeTuinkabouter → u/CJ_Guns]

I think some people are a bit simple and that when they're hanging it they're standing up and think "this should be at eye-level", not realising you tend to watch tv seated.

[u/Charlie_815 → u/Raunchy-Rapscallion]

I guess he was thinking about fitting another couch under the TV.

[u/LastStanza]

I was IMMEDIATELY unnerved with the same fear and knew it was you, Safe Guy

[u/Bright_Note3483 → u/LastStanza]

Before even reading the caption I immediately tried to find the safes to confirm

[u/TheRealMasterTyvokka]

So, if you are someone who has trouble visualizing dimensions and how things will fit into a space, before buying any furniture (for future reference) go get a tape measure and some rope. Use the tape measure to measure the dimensions of the furniture you are thinking about and lay the rope down to represent the furniture.

It's both easier and cheaper to do then just going out and buying furniture and seeing if you got lucky.

[u/capnShocker → u/TheRealMasterTyvokka]

Willing to bet he already has plenty of rope

[u/Weedle_blzit]

Needs more couch

[u/vile-sag]

Omg safe guy you’re sending me. So many couch.

[u/This-Scratch8016 → u/vile-sag]

oh my gosh it’s the same guy?? lmaoo

[u/serpent_tim]

On the plus side, the safes are no longer the weirdest thing about the room

[u/strikecat18 → u/serpent_tim]

Progress?

[u/serpent_tim → u/strikecat18]

Definitely

[u/SplitOpenAndMelt420]

It looks like all the couches and chairs are being gravitationally pulled towards the ottoman/table

[u/Pigpen_darkstar → u/SplitOpenAndMelt420]

I’ve been laughing at this comment far too long. I’m losing my mind. This has been some fucking week.

[u/Danyn]

Wow, I'm right on time. Just got caught up with your other posts. This is quite the change. 5 different chairs?

[u/TCMenace]

Can you return anything?

[u/strikecat18 → u/TCMenace]

I have no idea. Possibly the sectional.

[u/argumentinvalid → u/strikecat18]

This is a wild over reaction

[u/Hopeful-Minimum-5164 → u/argumentinvalid]

Hahahahah. This comment made me laugh out loud.

[u/Nursem1920 → u/Hopeful-Minimum-5164]

I’m absolutely hysterical rn this is gold

[u/TheFightingQuaker → u/strikecat18]

My brother in Christ you have to lose a couch or two before you do anything else.

[u/Original_Director483]

I feel way better about collecting cameras and audio equipment. I could be collecting leather couches.

[u/Waddiwasiiiii → u/Original_Director483]

Leather couches, Rolexes, and guns

[u/TheUnicornRevolution → u/Waddiwasiiiii]

And safes.

[u/Charming-Speech-5627]

I think a safe or two would really tie the space together.

[u/zorbacles]

JD Vance approves

[u/Cons483]

And none of the furniture matches in color or style

This post is absolutely cracking me up, brother go return all of that shit and buy a matching set now that you understand the size of the space you're working with

[u/warmans]

Ah, yes this is a common problem. What you've done is added a load of furniture but forgotten to take the old furniture out. So now you have two furnitures.

Don't worry though there is an easy fix. You simply need to make it so you have one furnitures again.

[u/FingersPalmc8ck]

Why is there a sofa in front the sofa?

JD is that you?

[u/Biscuits4u2]

Needs more furniture to balance out the furniture.

[u/Ike_In_Rochester]

My idea about just adding A THIRD SAFE doesn’t seem so crazy anymore does it?!?

[u/strikecat18 → u/Ike_In_Rochester]

I should have listened to you. 😔

[u/Ruttagger]

So many different browns.

Also tvtoohigh.

[u/shart-gallery → u/Ruttagger]

I hope those chairs recline, because that TV is basically overhead lol

[u/shart-gallery]

checks date

….sadly it’s not April Fools in any country anymore.

[u/BizzyThinkin]

Now you just need end tables and coffee tables for each sofa and chair.

[u/inigos_left_hand → u/BizzyThinkin]

And a set of monkey bars on the roof since that would be the only way to move around the room. Plus, good exercise.

[u/Mental-Ease5011]

Have you considered adding another couch to the space to really pull the ensemble together?

[u/hayesms]

I thought you had a woman in your life OP? You clearly did not enlist her assistance.

[u/strikecat18 → u/hayesms]

She’s mortified

[u/Crazy_Dig6779]

Gotta be trolling at this point

[u/jeffro3339]

Is that dark brown object in the background another couch? 😄

[u/Alone_Jacket_484 → u/jeffro3339]

2 more!

[u/Patient_Ganache_1631]

After all the clowns get out of their clown car, they can crash on your sofa(s)(s).

[u/ElementsofEle]

It’s the little kiddie couch that kills me.

[u/DetroitsGoingToWin]

All time easiest “floor is lava” room

[u/AliensAreReal396]

The couches dont have to stay within the confines of the rug. And can the darker couch go anywhere? You gave your kids permission to make a mess basically. Lol. That area needs to be rethought.

[u/avewave]

The feng shui of a nesting doll. A living room inside a living room. You challenge contemporary norms and make avante garde decisions that push boundaries. Where one can expect a coffee table, you say--- ottoman. Where society may define it by how we rest our feet, you ask why not both?

Brilliantly you got your kiddos to contribute to a Pan's Labyrinth of their own design to which there is no escape. Teaching them the reality of an all-encompassing but ever-changing environment that we call life. One which bears little sense or logic anytime they walk across the room.

It's love. It's life. It's Art. 🤌

[u/antpdav]

There’s nowhere to sit?

[u/catswithboxes]

Your couches had sex and now they have a family

[u/FeedMeFish]

Why do you have two sofas though

[u/Higgilypiggily1 → u/FeedMeFish]

1. Neither of the sofas pictured is the original one. This dude already had a huge ass couch and thought I’m gonna buy 2 more I’m sure that one is still lurking around somewhere.

[u/parkrangercarl]

What a wild ride your posts have been. I love that the safes are firmly locked into the corners. I look forward to the next update mate.

[u/cloudyview]

step 1 - mount the tv even higher.

[u/Audrey_Ropeburn]

Also, that is not a “sectional”. That is three separate matching items of furniture that could never be configured into the form of a single piece. A 3 piece set is not a sectional.

[u/xandrachantal]

The small couch makes me giggle. I'm just imagining you noticing there was a tiny bit of space and filling it.

[u/lostdecorator25]

Is it possible to let your wife take over this? Because there's no way she could be any worse at this.

[u/Anthroman78]

Well, at least you have one chair that's not brown leather, but it's way too low for that TV way up there.

[u/salinungatha]

Your kiddos will love that. So much to climb on and jump off.

[u/Kittymeow123]

Did we even ever think about measuring or no?

[u/Jarpieaux]

Too much of a good thing my man

[u/wharleeprof]

Yes, it's a mess. But it's a happy crazy mess. Think of like a slab of clay which you will carve away to create something beautiful.

What you have here includes furnishings of a lovely room - you just need to separate out the excess that is making it less than lovely and functional. I sincerely think it can be done.

Good luck and best wishes!

[u/__traww]

A good friend of mine once said “sometimes it don’t be like it is but it do”

Might be a little wonky but you’ll figure it out lol

[u/mburn14]

What is this, sofa city?

[u/BluePeterSurprise]

It’s like your couch had a litter of other couches.

[u/thecity2]

Needs more chair

[u/camlloc255]

This is my favorite reddit show. Keep em coming!

[u/charredsound]

Wait is this safe guy???

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.

Friend. Slow down.

[u/tbkrida]

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

[u/UpNorthBroHam]

Only problem with this setup is you have a chair blocking the door to the pew pew safe… maybe you have some stored in arsenal love seats….lol

[u/UsualSu]

Don’t invite JD Vance over! 😀

[u/Pelican_meat]

Try to fit another leather couch in there if you can bro.

[u/SatanHasArrived666]

I cannot vouch for all that couch

[u/SomeFuckingMillenial]

TV too high and couch too close. Do you hate your neck?

[u/fractalkid]

What are we looking at here? A furniture showroom?

[u/SendAstronomy]

r/TvTooHith

[u/themplsrealtor]

This is such an epic troll post at this point. Way to go dude.

[u/Saxophobia1275]

My dude are you an actual art project? Like is this whole journey one big commentary?

[u/Significant-Owl2652]

For once, the TV being hung too high is not the biggest issue.

[u/Unfair-Height9600]

Good god, I can’t wait to see what this feller comes up with next! It’s hit after hit!

[u/S1r_Galahad]

That needs more couches

[u/bananaspartying]

You had KIDS? There was not a single trace of children in those last pics

[u/Parttimelooker]

Needs less floor more seating.

[u/FaultyCYP450]

With the large metal safe decorated with children's art nestled in the corner and adjacent pelican case, I would describe this room as burgeoning mob family cozy.

[u/Available-Ad8475]

This is Interesting

[u/FlightAvailable3760]

Is this a prank? Are you really hanging your kids art work on your giant safe in the living room?

[u/b3dGameArt]

Oh my.. I remember this space before the couches, lol

Clear space against your walls to open up the middle a bit more. It'll feel like a cool hang out area, I guess?

[u/taco_surf]

The safe guy again??

[u/bujuzu]

You need another couch or two

[u/NoYoureAPancake]

Instead of buying a dozen new couches on impulse and hating all of them, perhaps hire an interior designer for help?

[u/thepopulargirl]

You forgot to take out your old furniture before putting the new one.

[u/BjornBjornovic]

No no, just add one more couch or recliner.