My wife's hairdresser did that for around 6 months. Then she announced she was quitting. Then passed away (she was 35 or so) a few weeks later. Sometimes it's excusable.
not technically a provider of a service but i remember having an instructor for a class i was really excited for, who NEVER graded my work, i think at one point he was 8 weeks behind on grading in a 16 week course. around week 14 i was annoyed bc the final was coming up and he hadn’t even graded my midterm yet… and then i got the email he had died. definitely changed my perspective on what I view as important vs what ACTUALLY matters at the end of your life
I don't know what happened to my OChem professor in college but the guy was a great professor, clearly loved the subject, very animated and busy (jumped on a desk at one point to properly display a chemical attachment), then suddenly 3 weeks before the end of the semester he disappeared. We were just told he was ill. He wasn't around the next semester either. The semester after that he finally came back and was a completely different person. People who took his class said he had to sit in a rolling chair and push himself back and forth in front of the board, pointing at things with a yardstick to explain things all while just seeming exhausting and tired.
I hope he's doing better now but it made me incredibly sad to know someone who was so happy and vibrant and active got hit with something so hard that all he could do was push himself around in a rolling chair while getting out of breath. Dude was dedicated to his subject.
Known to be Lively animated and enthusiastic, then gone suddenly for a semester and comes back exhausted and deflated sounds a like it was a little more than chronic fatigue, would the onset be that sudden and drastic? How would you even find this out?
I think I might have chronic fatigue but how would I know? Did u get tests done or something or is it self diagnosed? Not trying to be a prick, I just don’t know enough about ir
Unfortunately its a differential diagnosis, like any other causes get ruled out and then if your symptoms persist its probably cfs. But i developed a plethora of symptoms over night after my infection and cfs is only of them. It certainly got better over time but at the beginning of it id be exhausted all the time and could easily sleep more than 16 hours but even after sleeping id feel tired
I have both of these. It definitely could be. It could be a bunch of different things. Any chronic illness or extreme acute issue could cause this. Unless you have inside info that we don't have, it's a stretch to just say you know for sure that it isn't either of these.
Yikes, nothing to "own up to" here. People get unwell, for all sorts of reasons, controllable and uncontrollable. Don't ever need to disclose to others what the details of your health condition might be, it's nobody else's business shrug 🤷♂️.
He was fairly young, still in his 30s, so while that's possible, it didn't seem as likely and he didn't really act like a stroke patient after he got back. It wasn't any one sided weakness, it was just he was overall just... seemed like someone who was fighting for every bit of energy he had. That was the other thing that made it sad, he was still very young and at the start of his career.
Dude had a stroke. I’d put money on it. The chronic fatigue is a tell tale sign of stroke. We have a friend who’s a teacher(coincidentally) that had a stroke a few years ago at like 39/40(idk exactly how old she is, but my age, and I’m 41). She’s pretty good now, you’d never know something happened, but she’s on adderall now to help with the chronic fatigue.
Probably around 2006-2007, I don't remember exactly, it was either around the middle of when I was in college. I'm blanking on his name right now. I hated O Chem, but he was a really good professor.
Interesting. If it was later than that COVID may have been a good possibility. Sucks when you have good passionate people become a husk of themself cause of sickness.
Oh, no, it wasn't covid. I don't think it was swine flu either, swine flu popped up when I was in college, but I think it was a little after this, but you are accurate in your assessment of his temperament and abilities after whatever happened to him happened. He was like someone who'd gone through long covid or really severe pneumonia.
Cancer possibly? I know that can take the shit out of you for a long time(both my grandmothers fought it). As for Swine Flu(I believe it’s H1N1) I am too young to actually remember that, around 2007 I was 12. I do know one of my ex boss had gotten swine flu when pregnant tho and her child is considered a bubble child cause of how bad it hit him.
My roommate got swine flu and had permanent lung damage. I don't know what happened to him. Cancer could be a possibility, all I know is that a healthy active man in his mid to late 30s just disappeared suddenly and came back months later barely able to function.
Maybe one of these days you could try to catch up? Not trying to be a smartass or anything, you do seem like you care and they made a strong influence on you with whatever happened.
yeah, it really threw me. weird thing, i barely knew him for 3 months, the class wasn’t even an in-person class so I only interacted with him digitally… and yet I think about him all the time
Yeah my friend’s therapist had a similar thing, but he knew she was wfh with cancer. She no showed one appointment and he feared the worst. The company he was going through wouldn’t tell him anything and just offered to pair him with a new therapist but he just didn’t think it was worth hopping again. He found her Facebook and found out she had passed a month or so after the incident.
Happened to me, first therapist I actually liked seeing. After 2 months of repeated rescheduling and irritatation my mom got a call saying she was deseased and they didn’t know how to tell her patients. It was the first time I lost someone close, it hurt me to my core. All that time thinking she was like the other therapists, and didn’t want to see me, when her wellbeing should’ve been on my mind first.
It’s sad that people should have to be working while they’re dying. And that our healthcare system lets a lot of people get very sick before they get any help.
I had a high school teacher who never marked any classwork and never returned any submitted work. I wrote an amazing poetry assignment and never got it back so its lost forever. This was before computers were used for assignments so it was hand written and my only copy. The teacher was my playschool best friend's mom.
Few things are more important in life than your own health. Unfortunately, health takes a back burner in life because we are so focused and busy in other parts of our lives until it suddenly moves to the front of everything. Then it's the only thing that matters anymore.
definitely changed my perspective on what I view as important vs what ACTUALLY matters at the end of your life
How so?
For you, getting your work graded was some of the more important stuff at that point in your life. You didn't and couldn't know that your professor was in bad health or even died.
I’m happy to explain. My stress over that class was a mere blip in the entirety of my life. One that I remember due to feeling selfish for being SO focused on myself and unwilling to offer grace to a man who was dying. for me, that semester involved a lot more than just his class and my life at the time involved a lot more than just school— yet I expected for this singular course to be his only priority.
Even if I had ended up failing that class, which I didn’t, it would not be haunting me on my deathbed. Him having to spend his final weeks of his life responding to emails from students is much worse than anything that could’ve happened to me due to it
My old job we never had a chance for sick days. They would always talk about how they care about work life balance and preach to you about having it. Like they're telling you to have it like it's not them making the problem. Yes we did a lot of self management but if shit wasn't done there was no excuse. I remember travelling around with lung infection and then jus getting shit cuz my productivity wasn't good enough. I didn't want to go, it wasn't even my job they asked me to do something extra. My boss would also be having stuff like that getting really bad. It's like he never got better just illness after illness because his body is exhausted. and travelling around because the system was jus designed to overload you if everything went perfect. Obviously it never went perfect because that was never a reasonable expectation. My perspective went from wanting to move up to wanting all the fucking way out. Man I was travelling for work when both my grandparents died, missing so much with all my family in general. Heard that actually got even worse after I left. It was already escalating.
My first and best counselor, who helped me for years as a child, quit practicing because she had Alzheimer's and it was starting to get bad enough she couldn't work.
This happened to me with a nail tech. She cancelled on me a few times and kept getting stuck with nail techs that weren’t as good at the job as her so I was frustrated. I immediately felt like the biggest 🫏 when I discovered she had an advanced stage of cancer. She passed soon after leaving her 3yr old son and husband behind. She was also very young 😔
I don’t have any sources on hand, but there is some evidence linking professional hair colors to bladder cancer. I’m a hair stylist and it’s got me to stop coloring my hair. If I worked in a salon where I could decide which services to provide I’m not even sure I would offer color anymore. Scary stuff
Something similar happened to me. My psychiatrist cancelled my appointment and told me I would need a new psychiatrist bc he was retiring. I called like a week later to try and get some scripts written while I went through his recommendations for a new psychiatrist and it turned out he had died the day before. He had cancer and didn’t tell anyone but his close family and instead chose to work as long as he could to keep helping his patients
Although I feel very sad for your doc and his family, did staying in practice as long as possible really help his patients? It seems like referring them to another doctor much earlier would have been the responsible thing to do.
But then again, maybe he thought he had more time. :(
This reminds me of a radio host from where I live who I noticed wasn't on the morning shows as much anymore. I thought she was moving on and had yet to announce it. She announced she had cancer to us the listeners shortly before her passing. I was so freaking sad! There was and elderly man who'd always call and talk crap about how she was never there anymore before we all found out. I hope he still feels guilty to this day about his treatment towards her. You just never know what people are going through.
As someone who produced radio shows for 10 years, I think chances are high that if she was aware of his complaints, she enjoyed them. Radio stations have a lot of crazy callers and some of them are just ridiculously cranky. But it sounds like that dude really liked hearing her on the air, which is sweet even if he didn't express it very politely.
See this is why I love reddit most times.
Always empathetic and giving benefit of doubt as it should be the case. We don't live for too long. Don't hate and shit on people when you do not know their situation.
If someone’s doing this, they’re doing it for a reason. Obviously this person is struggling. It’s as excusable for them to prioritise their wellbeing just as it’s excusable for a client to drop them due to the instability.
That's absolutely terrible, but she should have closed way earlier if she didn't have the health to do business for the past 6 months already. For her own health and also for her customers that have their own lives and obligations and are unwillingly being taken along for the ride.
That being said, I've seen some situations of people for example with terminal cancer being essentially forced to work to keep treatments and food on the table, and that's just one of the cruelest things anyone can witness. You're dying and you know you're dying, but you have to produce till your very last breath. It's just inhumane and a sign of a failed society.
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u/penfoldsdarksecret 1d ago
My wife's hairdresser did that for around 6 months. Then she announced she was quitting. Then passed away (she was 35 or so) a few weeks later. Sometimes it's excusable.