r/mildlypenis 1d ago

Everyday Object My Facial Roller

Post image
407 Upvotes

72 comments sorted by

56

u/Medellin-71 1d ago

The trilogy: suck it, insert it and occasionally roll it on your face.

11

u/MavisBeaconSexTape 1d ago

It's like Bop It for adults

7

u/Chau_Mein97 21h ago

"suck it, jerk it, fuck it, rub it"

1

u/WholeGrain_Cocaine 15h ago

That’s how you get that wedding ring

18

u/Erkebram 1d ago

So I went to my aunt's place to take care of her dogs for a few days and she had a facial roller that also vibrates in the bathroom... I pointed out the fact that she basically had a dildo out in the open and she got really embarrassed.

Like, how can you look at this and be like, yeah it works on the face lol

4

u/whocaresaboutmynick 1d ago

I mean why would you point it out though.

Your aunt has a dildo, she forgot to put it away. Does it needs to be said?

9

u/Erkebram 1d ago

I was raised by my aunts and grandma. She was little when i was born (we are actually pretty much the same age) and thus became good friends growing up.

We dont have a "formal" relationship, and being raised by women im hella comfortable and open with them, i pointed it out cause it was funny, and it was not a dildo she just never did the connection thats why she got embarrassed, the box literally says "facial roller with vibration" if i found a real dildo i would have still pointed it out and laught about it . At the end of the day is another fun anecdote we share.

Hope you enjoy my short bio lol

4

u/Famous_Employment374 15h ago

I did, thanks. Shout out to those awesome women who raised you

9

u/iAmMikeJ_92 1d ago

Rubbing some ball things on your face huh?

7

u/Curious-Tart6854 1d ago

Face roller??? Sure, ok 👌. 🤨

7

u/dasfilth 1d ago

Facial indeed.

2

u/Itsjustme714 1d ago

🤣🤣👍

11

u/emr830 1d ago

Kinda looks like the rocket ship in Austin Powers

9

u/nigerjoe828 1d ago

Looks its a giant—!

WANG! PAY ATTENTION!

Lmao

8

u/emr830 1d ago

“It has a long smooth shaft, complete with —“

“Two balls!”

3

u/Genuine-Farticle 1d ago

"It looks like a huge..."

"PECKER! no thats not a woodpecker, it looks like a..."

1

u/Embarrassed-Town-293 1d ago

Weiner!! Anyone want a weiner…

Hey, that looks like …

6

u/topsy-the-elephant 1d ago

I have this one too, and it was sitting out in the living room when my mom came to stay with me for a weekend. She asked why I had a silver penis on the coffee table.

5

u/Texas_Storm 1d ago

My husband thought it was some kind of sex toy when he saw it. (I had it out getting ready to use it on my face.) He had a hard time believing it was a facial roller despite me even showing him the box 😆

2

u/tetsu-o 1d ago

all jokes aside, does it work? what's its purpose?

3

u/Texas_Storm 1d ago

It’s supposed to help your face muscles or something like that to help with fine lines and wrinkles. Not sure if it actually works. I got it with a subscription box I get.

2

u/topsy-the-elephant 12h ago

Supposedly it’s good for lymphatic drainage and helping work serums and creams into the skin. Honestly, I just think it feels nice on the face. In the summer I like to pop it in the freezer for a few minutes and then run the cold metal over my skin.

1

u/tetsu-o 12h ago

i don't know why would a guy need this thing but you sold it to me 😂 i'm gonna order it now.

4

u/BasiclyHuman 1d ago

Does it work well rubbing that on your face? Lol

3

u/poopbutt42069yeehaw 1d ago

Wait what is this supposed to do? The product I mean?

2

u/Ok_Drawer7797 1d ago

Says right here on the box that it lifts and firms.

3

u/poopbutt42069yeehaw 1d ago

By rubbing plastic against your face?!

6

u/AggravatingBee6826 1d ago

I can't vouch for the face, but it does wonders on my penis.

2

u/No-Presentation-3578 1d ago

😡 Take your stupid upvote....

1

u/Texas_Storm 1d ago

It’s supposed to help your face muscles or something like that to help with fine lines and wrinkles. Not sure if it works. It was included in a subscription box I get.

3

u/TheEyeofNapoleon 1d ago

I don’t see it at all.

Unrelated: I think I reeeeaaaalllllly need to roll this all over my face…

3

u/Discombobulated_Key3 1d ago

You forgot the quotation marks: My "facial roller" 😏

2

u/Trout1331 1d ago

Instant dickface

2

u/Dragon_Cearon 1d ago

My sarcastic mental commentary runs something like this:

"Rubbing and rolling that on your face, huh. Sure, honey, sure. Just don't show it to anybody else, OK? They'll get weird ideas. Might even think you're propositioning them to use it on you, you know... Picks it up and rolls it over finger Want a demonstration?"

XD Disclaimer: /j

2

u/Careful-Cheek-3354 1d ago

Exactly what runs in my mind too

0

u/Dragon_Cearon 16h ago

Are you an INTP?

1

u/Zestyclose_Car_4971 1d ago

Yeah I get it is.

1

u/SheepherderFar1505 1d ago

I love this one

1

u/-_Catbug_- 1d ago

Instructions unclear. My asshole is now contoured.

1

u/Dragon_Cearon 1d ago

A roller. For facials.

3

u/Bean-Collector 1d ago

for rolling the cum in, very good for skin😂

1

u/Dragon_Cearon 1d ago

Shhhh 🤫

1

u/Bean-Collector 1d ago

yeahhhh, facial roller

1

u/gellyrolejazz 1d ago

I think that's for a different kind of facial

1

u/Mockturtle22 1d ago

Reminds me of these

1

u/NirnRootJunkie 1d ago

does it give you a facial?

1

u/OverObjective375 1d ago

wonder how many of these went directly into someone’s ass.

1

u/Astro_Akiyo 1d ago

Not what I'm finna be rolling

1

u/Thor_Surfinson 1d ago

Wife's gonna FLIP when she sees i wasn't lying about using it as a facial roller

1

u/alextastic 1d ago

They all look like this though.

1

u/0hwell_hay-th3re 1d ago

The first thing I thought seeing this was to Shove it all the way down your uethra

1

u/Ready_Bee8854 1d ago

The face isn't located there

1

u/Critical_Damage231 22h ago

Looks like a massage shot waiting to happen.

1

u/Giggle_Nuggets 21h ago

Do they do this in pens

1

u/FewCelebration5502 21h ago

fuck, I love this subreddit

1

u/Illustrious-Bag1138 20h ago

That's a pen with a built-in neck massager

1

u/Lixxica 20h ago

Facial indeed 😏

1

u/maxru85 18h ago

So that's how the lip-sealing machine looks like

1

u/Anonymous123581 16h ago

Ora si chiamano cosi… 😉

1

u/exceptional_biped 14h ago

Facial…ha ha

1

u/spinstartshere 13h ago

There's nothing unintentional about this.

1

u/melanyebaggins 10h ago

"facial roller"

1

u/Ok_Raspberry7093 9h ago

It’ll give u a facial alright

1

u/PuggyPugPugPug 8h ago

Uncircumcised

1

u/Either_Amoeba_5332 1d ago

"Facial Roller" turn it around and you've got a "Pussy Pounder"

1

u/Embarrassed-Bear-945 1h ago

Deepthroat it