I realized yesterday that if there was a person who could do nothing for me I wouldn't think that person unworthy of love, respect and kindness. I wouldn't say they were lazy and useless. So, why do I feel I need to always be doing things for other people to deserve to live?

To build on last week’s discussion - I've been exploring a pretty interesting perspective on mindfulness and identity that's shifted the way I approach personal growth. Most mindfulness discussions usually revolve around being present, observing your thoughts without attachment, and finding stillness. While that's definitely valuable, I've continued to think there's another dimension that's just as important, but often overlooked: our underlying self-concept and identity. 

I've realized that the quiet story we hold about ourselves—the silent narrative we live by—might actually be the biggest reason why we stay stuck. It's not just the conscious thoughts we observe in meditation or daily life, but the deeper beliefs we rarely question about who we fundamentally think we are. These beliefs shape everything: our posture, energy, actions, decisions, and even our subconscious reactions. And yet, for many of us, this internal identity isn't something we've ever consciously chosen—it's something we've inherited from experiences, setbacks, or other people's expectations.

Here's why this matters: I used to think that simply repeating positive affirmations or trying to "think positively" was enough to make meaningful change. But often, I noticed a strange internal resistance, a kind of dissonance between what I was consciously affirming and what I subconsciously believed about myself. My body language, energy, and subtle behaviors kept reverting back to old patterns. It was frustrating, and I couldn't figure out why.

The breakthrough for me was understanding that our identity isn't fixed or permanent, it's constantly being written, whether we're aware of it or not. True mindfulness, then, isn't just noticing thoughts; it's becoming deeply aware of this inner identity and consciously choosing to shift it. It’s about becoming aware of the source.

Our internal identity shapes our reality, which means it’s important to recognize when our self-image is silently sabotaging our growth, and most importantly, how to genuinely rewrite it. So, I thought I'd share this one below too, in case it's helpful for anyone else exploring this angle of mindfulness and personal growth. My only hope is that this type of conversation at least gets you to question yourself and your inner thoughts in a good way. That’s where real change happens. 

https://youtu.be/HEKoBL1vRfs 

I'm curious about your experiences - have you ever felt your self-image or subconscious beliefs holding you back? If you've tried shifting your identity consciously, what worked for you? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

When I was little, I was constantly taught to distract myself from feeling angry, upset, or anxious. ‘Here’s your favorite toy, Nat. Maybe a cookie? Think about something positive. Why are you crying? Nothing tragic has happened. Others have it worse. Be strong! Fight your weakness.’

Is it really a weakness? I wondered. Or do tears have their own rhythm, their own purpose?

It took a debilitating illness and severe depression to awaken me to my authentic self—with all its darkness and beauty. Now, I am learning not to dismiss or abandon my needs, not to silence my naturally arising emotions, but to meet them with compassion and loving kindness. For too long, I had bullied the wounded parts of myself—not because others did once I became an adult, but because I had internalized a destructive pattern. A silent tormentor in my mind whispered: If you feel this, you are not strong enough, not good enough, not worthy of love.

I know it wasn’t intentional. Those around me were protecting themselves from their own pain as they watched mine. But it’s time to break the cycle. To stop this madness. To accept what is—to let it rise and fall naturally, as all things should.

Do you ever catch yourself dismissing your own feelings before anyone else can? 🤔😔

N. Z. Kaminsky Author of Sense of Home

TLDR: How has your experience with therapy worked or worked against your mindful/spiritual practice?

So essentially I’m considering therapy. I’ve been on my mindful journey for about 2 years now and have come a long way from my compulsions and worked through a lot of trauma - all of which I will continue to do.

But my question is based on your experiences with therapy if they have helped your journey, or been a hinderance? I really like listening to Ram Dass lectures on Spotify and as a retired psychiatrist he explains that the answer to many traumas is not to over-process them and dig deeper, but to simply let them go - accept that it happened, love yourself anyway, and be in the present rather than running from it.

I guess - and maybe I misunderstand his teaching - I’m worried about digging things up and learning practices that will encourage me to self-pity and look at my problems as something to fix rather than something to renounce. Do I have it all wrong?

I literally blame myself for everything I think, I can't think anything wrong and everything goes downhill. I can't take this life of feeling this weight on my chest anymore. I'm very religious and it's killing me because I blame myself even for my imagination. Help me live a life without being haunted by guilt. Note: I have OCD that developed when I started attending church again.

Society often encourages high levels of activity, endurance, and stamina, both physical and mental, which can be great, right?

But we all have our limitations.

It took me a long time to realize that denying this fact doesn’t just lead to emotional and physical burnout; it can also deplete the natural reserves we were born with. As Gabor Maté beautifully puts it, at some point, the body will say NO.

I’m still learning to honor my own energy, to cherish it as it is - limited. And that’s okay. There are times in life when we’re meant to feel weak, tired, or overwhelmed. It’s better to respect this natural rhythm—just as animals do - rather than push ourselves to exhaustion in a relentless pursuit of doing more, being more. Because, in the end, true balance lies in knowing when to rest and surrender, not just when to push forward. "When the storm comes, the formidable oak breaks easily, but the flowing willow bends and sways in the wind. When the storm's over, the willow straightens up again and regenerates. It sheds its damaged branches and leaves to reduce its overall burden and recover. Recovery takes time, and the willow allows it."

'You are strong. You'll discover that along the way. But there's no need to be always strong Trying to be strong no matter what makes us rigid

💛 ©️ N. Z. Kaminsky

One thing I do daily is keep a gratitude journal. On the right side is all the things I am grateful for. On the left side is what I free write like things that I need to get off my chest or manifesting. When I complete the journal is when I destroy it since I no longer need. I allow all the hopes and dreams into the world. It allows me to practice letting things go and the act of destroying something that no longer serve me has been cathartic.

I am doing research for my doctorate in psychology, religion and consciousness and was hoping that you would be kind enough to give me your take on the questions below:

1. What are your biggest challenges when it comes to starting or maintaining a spiritual practice? (e.g., lack of time, difficulty staying consistent, not knowing where to start, etc.)

2. How much time are you realistically able to dedicate to a spiritual practice each day?

   • Less than 5 minutes
     
   • 5–10 minutes
     
   • 10–20 minutes
     
   • 20–30 minutes
     
   • More than 30 minutes
     

3. What type of spiritual practices appeal most to you? (e.g., meditation, mindfulness exercises, affirmations, journaling, guided visualizations, etc.)

4. What would make it easier for you to integrate spirituality into your daily routine?(e.g., reminders, shorter sessions, personalized guidance, mobile app support, etc.)

5. What is your main motivation for starting or continuing your spiritual journey? (e.g., finding inner peace, reducing stress, personal growth, improving relationships, achieving clarity, etc.)

Thank you in advance for sharing with me 🥰

Hey everyone, I’ve been practicing mindfulness for about a month now, and I wanted to get some feedback on my approach. My method involves speaking to myself in my mind about what I’m doing—like when I’m walking, I’ll say something like “I’m walking on NE 4th street, making sure my entire foot is on the ground, taking a deep breath” and so on. Or when I’m in the shower, I’ll mentally walk through scrubbing my arm, then my chest, etc. When I leave my room, I say “Om Namah Shivaya” and check in with myself, asking, “Where am I going? Am I forgetting anything?” There are times I forget, but when I remember, I just tell myself “Om Namah Shivaya, don’t forget it again” and move on. I also try to break away from distracting thoughts by telling myself to focus on the pre-frontal cortex. I don’t meditate and don’t write journals is that fine?

am trying to learn healthy habits to stay grounded, stay present, and let things go. am struggling with not letting things go/ letting things get to me which in end turn into self blame. what are mindful practices and what are habits that you practice to avoid self blame/ encourage self love?

Yes, I tried "loving myself" and "self care" but it all feels like a sham to me. I never really had people I connected to or I could truly be with. Not even my own parents or siblings. I always felt that I have to put on masks for people to like me because if I didn't, I would seem weird or crazy. But nowadays, it feels like exhausting. I work in a restaurant and I can't help myself to see these perfect, rich families eating foods and having a nice laugh while I work my ass off and think I'm pathetic and worthless. And that self hatred manifest in how I treat people sometimes. Hell, I remember labeling a group of family ”strange creatures” in my mind before feeling bad.

I try to love myself. I try to view myself in a positive light. But that love feels fake. Plus why try if I end up doing the same thing? Why exercise when I’m going to shove food in my mouth till my heart stop pounding. Why be better when everyone don’t care and only see you as the dude who don’t talk? I don’t want to go back wishing for death and going back to hurt myself but I don’t know what to do. I always hope for a better future for myself where I’m somewhere safe. Where I have people to love me and seen as a human being but it feels so easy to lose hope.

I've been worried that mindfulness and focusing on the present reduces my ability to plan and prepare for the future or learn from the past. Also I feel like the nonjudgment reduces my decision making capabilities.

For example being nonjudgmental about my urges to eat. If I'm craving pizza, I can be nonjudgmental about the urge and kind of ride the urge.

But if I'm hungry, riding the urge isn't necessarily good for me because it deprives me of nutrients.

I'm trying to find a balance (which is definitely MORE mindfulness) but I'm wondering if I could overdo it.

I'm wondering if it's best to set up a time for mindfulness, but also some time for planning, since they seem to be conflicting.

I’ve been practicing mindfulness for years, but recently something clicked on a deeper level. I started watching sunrises and sunsets regularly—not just as a visual treat, but as a form of meditative presence. No phone, no rush, just stillness.

What I didn’t expect was how these quiet moments began improving not just my mental clarity, but also how I felt in my body. That warm glow we get from the sun during these hours? Turns out, it’s full of infrared light—which has actual regenerative effects on the skin. There’s a study from Yonsei Medical Journal showing before-and-after skin results from infrared exposure (search: “Effects of Infrared Radiation on Skin Photo-Aging and Pigmentation”).

So it got me contemplating—how often do we chase complicated solutions for well-being, when some of the most healing tools are built into nature itself? The less I try, the more I can be. The more I witness, the less I struggle.

This led me to create a short cinematic/ immersive film that blends mindfulness, nature, infrared science and original music I composed. It's 9 minutes long, with zero fluff—just the atmosphere, footage from lakes and sunsets/sunrises around Europe and reflections on why we’ve disconnected from this daily healing ritual.

I’m not selling anything. Just sharing something I poured my heart into, hoping it might resonate with others on a similar path of self-care and reconnection. If you're curious or want to watch the video, feel free to ask—happy to share the link.

🌅✨

I’ve recently had an “aha!” moment that I felt compelled to share because it’s completely changed the way I approach productivity—and it all started with mindfulness. Like many here, I’ve been exploring mindfulness to find balance and clarity in my life. But what surprised me the most was how it turned my chaotic task management system into something peaceful and intentional. Enter ClickUp and TodoistI’ve recently had an “aha!” moment that I felt compelled to share because it’s completely changed the way I approach productivity—and it all started with mindfulness. Like many here, I’ve been exploring mindfulness to find balance and clarity in my life. But what surprised me the most was how it turned my chaotic task management system into something peaceful and intentional. Enter ClickUp and Todoist.

Mindfulness Meets Task Management

One thing I learned through mindfulness is being present with one task rather than juggling 30 ideas in my head. However, turning that concept into practice wasn’t easy when my to-do list felt endless and overwhelming. That’s when I decided to try task management tools like ClickUp and Todoist to help me “declutter” my mind and focus on the now.

My Experience with ClickUp and Todoist

• ClickUp: At first, I was hesitant because it seemed so complex. But as I started customizing it for my workflow, it became a mindfulness tool in itself. I could visualize my priorities clearly and stop stressing over forgetting something. It allowed me to focus on today’s tasks instead of getting distracted by the bigger picture.

• Todoist: On the other hand, Todoist brought simplicity and ease into my day. Its clean design made task creation almost meditative. I especially loved using it on hectic days where I couldn’t handle complexity—it’s like journaling but for my tasks.

The Psychological Shift

Inspired by Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow, I realized that too much mental overload pushes us into hasty, stress-driven decisions (System 1 thinking). By aligning with mindful principles, I was able to fully embrace System 2—the slower, more deliberate thought process. Setting intentions with these platforms let me use that calm, intentional energy to stay focused on the present task instead of spiraling into a flood of stress.

My Go-To Resource

Mindfulness taught me the value of balance, and finding a task management system gave me the tools to achieve it. If you’ve felt the same chaos and want a deeper dive into these tools, I’ve written a personal guide outlining ClickUp vs. Todoist and how I adopted them into my practice: ClickUp vs. Todoist for Teams.

What practices or tools have worked for you? I’d love to hear your tips, especially from others striving to balance organization with inner calm...

When my anxiety started worsening, I joined the anxiety subreddit. Whenever I would see a post, I would relate perhaps here and there, but it also made me feel like there was no hope. Recently, my family members depression was worsening so I went on the depression subreddit and it was the same. It ended up leaving me feeling worse than before. I honestly would recommend that if you have a mental health issue not to join these Reddit's because they can be a negativity echo chamber.

In between therapy appointments/if I don't have someone I can talk to, when I need to get things out or if I need advice, I have now begun using chatGPT. It really does help...

I have a desire to get out of my head and stay in the present moment where less thinking and resistance occurs in my experience. However my desire to get out of my head and stop more thoughts from popping up sometimes feels rigid and reeks of even more resistance. It feels like my attention/awareness is just another tool that has been co-opted by my mind as one more way to try and feel better / ease my suffering, and as a result even just trying to shine my awareness or simply just making an effort/intention to be can often arouse resistance in my body, in a similar way that trying to concentrate so intensely visually on something may result in eye strain.

 I understand logically that simply being is completely effortless, and that there is no point in "trying" to be, you already are. My mind has definitely taken this simple truth and tried to complicate it. The task of trying to sink into my experience of being and understand this directly sometimes results in this rigid, uncomfortable form of resistance, and my mind tells me "you're not doing this correctly! And you won't be liberated from your suffering until you manage to do it the right way or finally have the correct understanding!"

Similarly, trying to face uncomfortable emotions feels like I'm trying to shine a torchlight on it so harshly just to get the emotion to dissolve already and I just can't deny that I am doing this and waiting for the emotion to dissipate to feel peaceful. I find it frustrating because I have followed this path for a few years and have wanted to be liberated for so long, I have heard so much about presence being the key to this yet it seems that trying to "be", and the intention to have presence sometimes causes more resistance than if I didn't try to do anything. And if I didn't try to do anything I am not sure if I would even know what to do to break the link between thoughts and the feeling they perpetuate in moments of suffering. The most effective action I have taken so far is to ask myself questions to point myself to the experience of being, such as "Am I aware?", but I do find myself repeating this so much and definitely try to do it even more in reaction to feeling upset.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I used to smoke so much a few years back and I miss the feeling. I had no anxieties, no depression, or any worries, despite having a lot of personal shit going on at home. I always got a bit paranoid when I started smoking but that was because it was shit weed and I was only just getting used to it. I then started smoking cigs and for some reason weed got suddenly better as well. About two years ago i stopped for a while to focus on my a levels. Then I smoked again, only to then green out and think too much about the bigger picture of life. Nowadays that’s all I think about. I look to the sky and I get shivers, thinking about death. The unavoidable feeling that there’s no certainty and I can’t do anything to change. I understand that I can’t change and that I should just live, but for me it just scares me. I never had this problem though when I was smoking though, both cigs and weed. I was carefree. Now if I smoke I prang about everything. Im looking to take meds for my anxiety so I’m hoping that they help me fall in love with weed again and forget about drinking and pills/powders because I never originally wanted to drink or do drugs, just smoke pot. I get that people will say I shouldn’t smoke anymore and it’s best I just give it up, but all of my friends smoke and it’s just healthier. I really want to smoke again and I need to know if meds can help me fall in love with it like I was a few years ago.

Last year, I realized I was mentally burned out from constant reaching for my phone, I was mindlessly scrolling or just cycling through the same apps without a reason at all. I couldn't handle my quite moments without peeping into the phone.

I decided to give dopamine reset a shot. not perfect but better than anything else i have tried so far. here is what worked for me:
30-Day Detox: Cut my screen time in half over two weeks. Didn’t go cold turkey but set strict limits for social media and distractions.

Redirect Habits: Replaced phone time with taking a walk outside. This was tough at first but effective.

Strict App Blocking: Made mornings and evenings completely avoiding my phone. This cleared my mind than i had thought.

Relearn Boredom: Realized boredom isn’t that much bad, it’s where the best ideas and calm moments come from. I do love this now.

After about 3 months later, I’m now more focused, calm, and present. I still slip sometimes, but overall, it’s about taking control of my mind.

Hello, I am nobody and always will be {the beauty of everything}. I've lived a reasonable life—giving my all, failing, missing opportunities, and enjoying my share of success. Yet none of these experiences have stopped me from chasing the life I truly desire. For the longest time, I struggled to pinpoint that desire and ended up spending my days helping others solve their problems.

Growing up, I was often overlooked—not because I had issues, but because I wasn’t the one demanding/needing attention. That experience taught me to look at the bigger picture, and eventually, I realized something important: most people aren’t truly trying to change themselves. We keep doing the same thing, expecting different results, without ever breaking the cycle.

Today, I want to share some nuggets of wisdom I've gathered along this unpredictable journey. These insights have shaped my reality, forcing me to reinvent myself time and again. With persistence, I've learned not only to embrace change but also to find joy in it.

I’m excited to introduce my first curation: MIND.me. At its core, this curation reminds us that our reality is crafted by how we perceive and feed our minds. Through a curated array of evocative visuals, complemented by brief video snippets, I invite you to see how a well-organized mind can align your entire being—your body, emotions, and energies—in a way that makes even the wildest dreams possible.

The website is a garden of my thoughts—a space where I explore and archive the ideas that help me navigate life. It’s not perfect, but it works for me, and I hope it inspires you too. If you feel like diving deeper, go ahead—explore at your own pace, even if it feels like getting lost sometimes. Sharing and reflecting on these insights is a journey in itself, one that allows me to understand these concepts better and, hopefully, to present them in a way that resonates with you.

My mission now is to travel, explore the world, and share the wisdom I uncover along the way. So, I encourage you to remain open-minded and curious. Keep learning, because there's always something new to discover, and keep trying, because there’s always a different approach you haven’t considered. Remember, anything is possible if you're willing to explore and learn.

We'll be around... 🫡

— b

hi there guys ! im sorry if its going to be long and im gonna try my best to explain but i need some people advice and help please i can't no longer going like this :(

im 30 years old nowday my first bad panic attack and anxiety was like 11 years ago when i was 19
i was smoking hash(hasish like marijuana idk exactly what was it ) it gave me seriously like 2-3 hours of really suffering i felt my stomach like really wanna explode and also that i want to puke but i couldnt even puke and some kind of like idk if call it illusions but like i couldnt sleep ... i joined the army after 1 month it happend to me which really i got into alot of panic attacks and anxiety because i really tryed to understund what happend to me and what iv done to my self ... i start to take SSRI pills called prizma which really helped me ! it kinda help me go throw things in life and be kinda happy again ...

3 years ago when covid came and i felt sick i remember i had that thought that i might have covid and i immediatly got an panic attack ... its been 3 years since this panic attack and i dont feel the same ... i feel like my body is stuck and its like nowdays i always feel my chest hurts !
i need someone who had a bad experience from weed or hash or anything like this like did i hurt my self? can i heal from this cure from it? like dissconnect my feelings from what happend to be and no longer afraid?
my questings ie what is a good treatment you guys think will work for me?
i heard about rebirthing breathework but im afraid because it looks very intense and i afraid alot of things will pop up and i will get into some kind of panic attack or bad feelings

i feel like since this first panic attack from the hash like its really control my life and effects me about how i see life and about my self ...

can i heal it cure it? i dont wanna be like this for ever life is so beatifuel and important to me

anyone maybe related here or know good treatments and if people healed from things like this?

I'm in a weird part of my life and would really like to move back to Oregon but with kids /ex husband I really can't. I am having trouble enjoying my life here because it's winter/snow then bug season. I love gardening and I would love to just live outside as I used to but between the bugs and the snow it's like maybe 2 months of the year where it's really pleasant to be outside. I'm driven inside even when the weather is great because I start panicking from bugs. It used to not bother me so much, but I definitely think my limbic system is in overdrive from long COVID and having a horrible difficult to leave marriage. I've been doing diaphragmatic breathing and that's helped but I would love to conquer my annoyance and freak out with bugs.

Just looking for success stories thanks!

This isn’t self-promotion. I’m not selling anything, there’s no money involved, and I’m not linking to any personal content. That’s all. It’s not an event or anything official.

I’m literally just trying to find someone to meditate with. So I hold space for another short meditation tonight. Sust 15 minutes to sit quietly together online.

I’ll have a calming sound bath playing in the background. No talking or intros needed, and you don’t have to turn your camera on. Just join the link, take a seat, and breathe with whoever shows up.

🧘‍♀️ 15 min Group Meditation
🕗 April 4 @ 9PM PT
🔗 https://calendar.app.google/aZwhuH72NWQ2iWTg9

🌱 5 Reasons Group Meditation Feels So Powerful

• It’s easier to get into the zone. Watching others sit still helps your mind settle too kind of like your nervous system says “oh, we’re safe here.”
• You can actually feel the energy shift. Sitting with others brings this calm, collective vibe like everyone’s energy syncing up. It helps you go deeper & faster.
• Your brain starts to match the calm around you. When people meditate together, their brain waves tend to sync. That’s why it often feels easier to relax when you’re not doing it alone.
• It boosts your mood and lowers stress. Meditating with others can reduce stress hormones and increase feel good chemicals like serotonin. You just feel lighter after.

If one small leaf upon a tree be worthy of love, how much more so the tree in its entirety? The love that singles out a fraction of the whole condemns itself to grief. There be leaves and leaves upon a single tree—some healthy, some sick; some beautiful, some ugly; some giants, some dwarfs. Yet out of the paleness of the sick proceeds the freshness of the healthy. Ugliness is Beauty’s palette, paint, and brush; and the dwarf would not have been a dwarf had he not given of his stature to the giant.

The Tree of Life must not be fractioned. Let not fruit be set against fruit, nor leaf against leaf, nor bough against bough; let not the stem be set against the roots, nor the tree against the mother-soil. For such is the folly of loving one part more than the rest, or to the exclusion of the rest.

I get a lot of thoughts about stabbing someone. These thoughts come randomly to my mind. I literally be sitting doing nothing and I suddenly feel like stabbing someone. I was talking to my friend the other day, and I mentioned my thoughts thinking they were normal, and everyone has them, but I got confused when she told me that I shouldn’t be thinking about these things, and it’s not normal. I asked my other mates and friends and they all said the same thing….. Am I normal?