r/monkeyspaw • u/smokeeeee • Jan 21 '25
Wisdom I wish smartasses on Reddit would disappear
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u/mayorofanything Jan 21 '25
Gran
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u/Repulsive_Answer_279 Jan 21 '25
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u/Anxious-Seaweed7388 Jan 21 '25
Granted. All intelligent donkeys that exist purely on the digital platform of Reddit are now invisible.
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u/GoodOldHeretic Jan 21 '25
Granted. You can‘t log back in, so you‘ll never see the effects.
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u/smokeeeee Jan 21 '25
I’m not very smart though so I’m immune to your monkeys paw
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u/GoodOldHeretic Jan 21 '25
What a… smart… work-around to protect yourself ;)
Making in you not as immune as you thought in process ^
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u/Testsubject276 Jan 21 '25
Grante- hey where'd you go? Uh...
Wherever you are you uh... Stub your toe?
Am I hallucinating or did I just grant a wish just now?
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u/Imaginesium Jan 21 '25
Granted. You find yourself immediately banned from Reddit. The next time you step outside, a team of trained mercenaries overpower you and throw you into the back of an unmarked van, never to be seen again.
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u/smokeeeee Jan 21 '25
Yea but I’m not a smartasses so this doesn’t apply to me though
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u/Imaginesium Jan 21 '25
That's the rub. You are, simultaneously, the perception others have of you AND how you see yourself.
Sometimes those perspectives don't match up. Any particular quippy comment you've made could be taken in a manner that was unintended. The content, in words, may be what you mean to convey, but the tone it's received in is subjective to the reader.
You could be the smartass and never even know it.
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u/smokeeeee Jan 21 '25
Dude …. Stop
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u/Spezalt4 Jan 21 '25
Granted. Nothing changes because any potential smartass just says they aren’t one and the monkeyspaw accepts this as valid
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u/ChaosInTheSkies Jan 21 '25
Granted, they become invisible and create their own social media website called Ghost-it and you never have to deal with any of them ever again
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u/Warm-Finance8400 Jan 21 '25
Granted, they're now gathered around your house to tell you their thoughts in real life
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u/Mrcoolcatgaming Jan 21 '25
Granted, they turn invisible (magically so no blindness) this shakes up their life, since they can't really socialize irl anymore, they make up for it by doubling their reddit time
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u/FuriousAqSheep Jan 21 '25 edited Jan 21 '25
Granted. Pears are now a valid diss targets, and although they have no feelings, if they did they'd feel very sad and silly after being mocked by countless reddit smartasses.
edit: spelling mistakes
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u/nycsavage Jan 21 '25
Granted. But now this post disappears……
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u/smokeeeee Jan 21 '25
I’m not a smartasses
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u/GoldKey705 Jan 21 '25
Granted. They all disappear from Reddit… but appear in ur actual life now, every smart ass on Reddit is now a person you have to deal with on a day to day basis.
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u/douganater Jan 21 '25
Denied. Heh. What'cha gonna do now?
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u/smokeeeee Jan 21 '25
Probably the same thing I’m doing right now - loathing my alarm clock
But seriously smartasses on Reddit are annoying AF and they aren’t even funny
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u/WordSmithyLeTroll Jan 21 '25
Granted. All content on Reddit disappears and is replaced with random posts from a far-right version of the Daily Mail where Oswald Mosely won the May 1940 election.
You do not get to see anything about history, or about this alternate universe. Your posts are ignored and removed for being 'excessively dull', yet the only news you get to see is from a profoundly ordinary society. It's mostly just gossip, ads for yorkshire tea, and updates about local sports leagues.
On certain subreddits, you can find large masses of deleted posts, with automod comments standing over the corpses of what you think might be the Daily Mail's comment section. However, the carnage of so many banned posts make you feel uncomfortable, and so you don't investigate.
The only thing that seems to remain the same is this server, r/ouija, and the server for painting tabletop miniatures whose name I always forget to post.
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u/PlaytoPlay767 Jan 21 '25
Granted. They all turn invisible IRL but are still able to use their phone and post on reddit
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u/karma_is_a_lil_bitch Jan 21 '25
Granted. They all find a different platform like reddit. Only person left here is you
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u/TheRealTahulrik Jan 21 '25
Granted, 99% of reddits username dissappears, and reddit now does not have a large enough userbase to keep running.
Reddit is shut down for good.
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u/lucky1pierre Jan 21 '25
Granted.
People who would be referred to as a smartass who use Reddit do, in fact, disappear.
Much like TikTok, though, the world outside of North America remains. All the British and Aussie smartarses, Spanish listillos etc, continue to exist and are more determined than ever to piss you off.
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u/Aaron_Madness Jan 21 '25
Granted.
You, me and every other smart-ass on Reddit no longer exist. We never existed. Nobody remembers us, nobody mourns us and nothing changes in life.
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u/DoArByse Jan 21 '25
Granted, people who use reddit while being smart will lose their rectum privileges.
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u/Spiritual-Ad8090 8d ago
Sounds like you're talking about your own personality copy pasted people here because technically it's not the people on Reddit who need to disappear it's Reddit itself it's the copy-pasted Bro hipsters that think they know everything that stayed with Mommy and Daddy or grandparents and probably still live with them or didn't get out until later on in life either way they're the cancer on any social media 😂😂😂 most of the people who replied to your comment are pretty much the people you're talking about they want to make joke references instead of real talk Society is just a joke anymore and they never take anything seriously
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u/LumieTheCutie Jan 21 '25
Granted. They are all replaced with dumbasses.