r/monkeyspaw • u/DoArByse • Feb 23 '25
Fun I wish all humans ages were mirrored. Ex: if someone is 23 they become 32 etc.
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u/Frisky_Froth Feb 23 '25
I become 3. I would most likely die in my apartment alone. You killed a baby
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u/Glass_Coconut_91 Feb 23 '25
34 - 43
What's the difference, I already feel like I'm 90.
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u/econopotamus Feb 23 '25
The 81 and 91 year olds the real winners here
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u/HealthyDurian8207 Feb 24 '25
I'm 34 as well, but I feel great. I think suddenly turning 43 would be a huge shock to me.
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u/BubblyNumber5518 Feb 24 '25
I’m 43 and I feel as healthy as I did when I was 34 (I was pregnant at the time, so let’s just consider the non-pregnant part of being 34), so don’t worry about it too much.
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u/Ecstatic_Jackfruit35 Feb 23 '25
I’d just die 😭
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u/oishipops Feb 23 '25
real, 17 to 71 just let me die instead 😭
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u/InThePowerOfTheMoon Feb 24 '25
The way I keep seeing you everywhere lately. You're supposed to stay contained in r/hostedgames with the other freaks 😔
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u/oishipops Feb 24 '25
another hosted games player in the wild 🫵 i can't contain my freakery, sorry 😔
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u/oishipops Feb 24 '25 edited Feb 24 '25
WAIT LOL i looked at your profile i recognize you too on the DA subreddit as well. i think i've commented on your post before... freak to freak communication fr
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u/InThePowerOfTheMoon Feb 24 '25
That's like the second worst subreddit I could be perceived at I fear
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u/oishipops Feb 24 '25
second worst? 💀 what's your first worst?
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u/InThePowerOfTheMoon Feb 24 '25
...... r/viktormains 😔
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u/oishipops Feb 24 '25
i CANNOT judge at all for i was a fellow viktor main 💀 how did you feel about his vgu, i kept stalking the sub after it was announced
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u/InThePowerOfTheMoon Feb 24 '25
I actually liked it lol. I lost a lot of karma on the subreddit that day..... Like I'm sad that the concent of glorious evolution through one's own means was lost but also I am weak to eldritch beings with a slutty little waist. I'm very glad they didn't change the gameplay but also it kinda feels like it doesn't really fit anymore lol. Overall tho I like what we got. Minus the nerfs like two weeks after he came out. 😔
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u/LuckyLMJ Feb 23 '25
granted, humans can be three digit ages, so ages are mirrored as a three digit number. everyone's ones digit in their age becomes their hundreds digit and vice versa. You get a few hundred-year-olds with the mental capacity and life experience of one-year-olds and eleven-year-olds, and roughly 10% of people are completely unaffected. Everyone else dies instantly.
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u/nohidden Feb 23 '25
Granted. It turns out the Monkey Paw writes all human ages as four digit numbers with leading zeroes.
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u/ObviousSea9223 Feb 24 '25
I mean, civilization was doomed anyway, but okay, this is probably kinder.
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u/Ry-Da-Mo Feb 23 '25
I'm back to 23...do I get my 23 year old body back?? Also my eldest is now 21.
In a month I'd be the same age anyway, 33, but he would be 31, haha.
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u/Main-Preference-4850 Feb 25 '25
When I read “my eldest is now 21” I didn’t realize you meant AFTER the ages swap…I reversed your age to be 32…-21…I was concerned for your childhood
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u/Guilty_Letterhead_82 Feb 23 '25
Granted. All the people who are ages like 22, 44, 66, etc… feel either neglected or lucky.
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u/LoserVanessa Feb 24 '25
I’m 22 😭😭
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u/HealthyDurian8207 Feb 24 '25
Yeah that's probably lucky. Anyone older would feel unlucky this didn't happen a year or two earlier.
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u/briiigette Feb 23 '25
20 to 02…
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u/LouisRitter Feb 24 '25
I'd be 04 and my son would be 30.
He could take care of me this time around.
My daughter would turn 91 so that's a pretty big bummer.
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u/Cell-Puzzled Feb 23 '25
Congratulations, all the politicians that were dying out as well as the voting population have another 50 years to vote and gain the system….again.
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u/Thaser Feb 23 '25
HEY, I'd be 14 again and I wouldn't have brain damage and an autoimmune disorder! Absolute win.
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u/FirstChAoS Feb 23 '25
Being 19 would suck.
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u/Worldly_Team_7441 Feb 23 '25
Granted. They mentally revert completely if becoming younger, losing memories and skills - including basics such as the current year. If becoming older, the rapid aging causes however many years of dead flesh to accumulate on the body, as it was unable to shed properly.
For instance, someone 41 would return to 14, but would think it was 1998. A 17 to 71 switch would have 54 years of dead skin cocooning them.
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u/GiornoGiovanna2009 Feb 23 '25
I'm gonna become 51 lmao
I feel bad for all the 20 year olds though they just become toddlers
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u/ironwatchdog Feb 23 '25
Welp, if this wish happened in another couple of days I’d be 4, but I guess 93 is fine. It’s been a good run.
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u/RegularStrong3057 Feb 24 '25
Y'all are being too generous. It isn't 23 to 32. It's 023 to 320. Everyone under 100 years of age immediately turns to dust.
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u/FinancialWorking2392 Feb 23 '25
Granted: all ages are writen in 3 digits with proceeding 0s to account for centurians (people over 100) so most people die of old age
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u/the-flag-and-globe Feb 23 '25
Granted, a women of 30 was giving birth, now she is 3 and giving birth, you are a horrible person
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u/Andydon01 Feb 23 '25
Granted, but everyone that has to go through puberty again knows and they all come to get you.
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u/AutisticHobbit Feb 24 '25
Granted. It occurs to you while you are, somehow, 33....but surrounded by 60 year old grand parents with their 5 year old children.
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u/Thick-Possession6073 Feb 24 '25
All the 11, 22, 33, 44, 55... Year olds just sorta standing there like 🧍🏻♀️
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u/Masterpiece-Haunting Feb 24 '25
Granted! The version of them they used to be is locked away in a mirror as there reflections and they want to break out. Everyone must avoid any form of reflection. Oh yeah btw the mirrored version replaces you and everyone else. So the 32 year old has left the mirror while you’re now in the mirror.
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u/Sensitive_Progress26 Feb 24 '25
I’m 62, so I am now 26. Excellent. But I now have a 6 year old wife and an 82 year old daughter.
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u/fakeman4551 Feb 24 '25
Granted. 0 before any number does not affect its value but reverse of it does. Everyone dies.
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u/pisspeeleak Feb 24 '25
I swap ages with my grandmother 😂 the downside here is that I have no retirement savings or secure housing as I watch my parents fade away. But on the bright side now we can verify if youth really is wasted on the young
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u/Hot_Potato92 Feb 24 '25
Yaay, 23 again! But my poor sis is 71! Dad is 45 and mum is 25... weird.
But wait, what about people over 99? You are 100 and suddenly... You are 110 and... But better yet, you are 109...
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u/Apprehensive_Bug_826 Feb 24 '25
Every time someone turns an age with a 9 at the end, chances are they won’t live to their next birthday…
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u/Same_Development_823 Feb 24 '25
One thing to say about everyone thinking 700 years old = instant death :
700 years old does not mean instant death. It's just that you have a higher chance of having a disease, and that a higher chance of that disease killing you. This will take time and is definitely not instant.
It's just that 'surviving until 700 years old' and 'surviving 1 year as a 700 year old' are both highly unlikely, but if somebody suddenly becomes 700 years old, he will not die for no reason.
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u/Loser2817 Feb 24 '25
20 -> 02
Fuck this, I'll be hoping time travel is possible so someone may fix this.
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u/Agzarah Feb 24 '25
This would be amusing as hell if it happened every year. I'm 26.. nope 62 Next year 62-63, boom 36 36-37 - boom 73
Hmm does everyone eventually get stuck in a 1-9 cycle
As 9-10 resets back to 1.. repeat
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u/AHumanYouDoNotKnow Feb 24 '25
Granted, but the ages are calculated in months.
So someone aged exactly 23 years , with 276 months of age would turn 56.
While someone who is 83,3 years, exactly 1000 months, would turn into a baby.
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u/wannab3c0wb0y Feb 24 '25
I'm just thinking about becoming 12 while my partner becomes 32. Tears. My 22 bday is this week, so I'm wishing that you didn't make your wish until next week.
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u/c_dubs063 Feb 24 '25
Granted.
It happens at noon CET every day. And it is not a pleasant transformation.
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u/Kingofdeadpool1 Feb 24 '25
Granted, Now the 12 year-old has 1 year-old body with the Same mind and mental maturity
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u/Strawbebishortcake Feb 24 '25
Granted. This one is just already punishment enough actually. Society will fall apart.
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u/ArtEnvironmental7108 Feb 25 '25
I get to stay 22? This has no effect on me? Fuck it. Granted. No monkey’s paw.
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u/Avilola Feb 25 '25
Fuck. Why couldn’t you have wished for this when I was 32 instead of now that I’m 33? Better than 34 I guess.
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u/crazy-jay1999 Feb 25 '25
Jokes on you, I’m 44, my wife only ages 10 years, my son grows up and my mom is young again
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u/Main-Preference-4850 Feb 25 '25
Granted, all teenagers (or rather people who USED to be teenagers) know your address and are fucking pissed that you took away their entire life
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u/Clutchdanger11 Feb 25 '25
People aged 11, 22, 33, etc just kinda go on with their lives as people around them are suddenly aged up/down by a decade.
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u/Fragrant_Smile_1350 Feb 26 '25
You couldn’t have waited until October when I turn 20? Sure becoming 2 is still bad but it’s better than soaring to 91
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u/doskias Feb 26 '25
Wait, so, would I age normally from then on, or would my next birthday see me at the next appropriate flipped year?
Like, I'm 39, and I'll be 40 in July. This wish makes me 93 - so will I turn 94 in July, or 4?
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u/Theysayhisnamewouldn Feb 26 '25
Granted: Your 30 year old pregnant wife is carrying twins at the time.
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u/robopirateninjasaur Feb 23 '25
Granted. It happens at the exact moment you're in plane being flown by a crew aged 30 and 40.