In my head canon: Buttons and buttonholes were the standard for shoes, and it took everybody forever to get everything all cinched up and proper before they went out into society.
And then decades later, some person said, "Why the fuck are we spending half our life cinching up our goddamned shoes, and can't we do it quicker?" And then someone got the local newspaper to print a Ye Olde Lyfe Hackke that suggested using a curled wire or paperclip or something to get in there and do it faster. But then people found that the wire or paperclip was too flimsy, and then someone decided to engineer a quality tool for the job, with sturdy metal and a proper handle! And here we are today wondering why the fuck nobody pitched laces, buckles or slip-ons.
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u/LeeQuidity 5d ago
In my head canon: Buttons and buttonholes were the standard for shoes, and it took everybody forever to get everything all cinched up and proper before they went out into society.
And then decades later, some person said, "Why the fuck are we spending half our life cinching up our goddamned shoes, and can't we do it quicker?" And then someone got the local newspaper to print a Ye Olde Lyfe Hackke that suggested using a curled wire or paperclip or something to get in there and do it faster. But then people found that the wire or paperclip was too flimsy, and then someone decided to engineer a quality tool for the job, with sturdy metal and a proper handle! And here we are today wondering why the fuck nobody pitched laces, buckles or slip-ons.