r/oregon • u/Zen1 • 2d ago

Image/Video I hope whoever brought these to Oregon spends eternity in a pile of rotting flesh

Post image

Damn Bradford pears!!

792 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

161 comments sorted by

284

u/Cherry_Mash 2d ago

May they be joined by the person who planted Oregon's first tree of Heaven.

65

u/aserranzira 2d ago

And the guy that created the hybrid blackberries.

51

u/dradygreen 1d ago

English Ivy and bamboo

60

u/ThreeSixMafs 1d ago

Scotch Broom anyone?

13

u/njslacker 1d ago

Ugh. Watching ivy slowly smother all the trees around me breaks my heart.

6

u/HappyCamperDancer 1d ago

Go and cut the base of the ivy around the base of the trees!! (Your property or government property of course). If it is a neighbors, knock on their door and explain and help them cut the base of the ivy.

6

u/njslacker 1d ago

I'm glad you mentioned that.

I do it on my property, and it's very easy. But driving along i5 you just see tree after tree with it.

3

u/LunarTaxi 22h ago

Does that work? The roots grow on the bark too.

5

u/dancinmikeb 19h ago

It works. The stuff on the bark is climbing bits. Not nutrient or water gathering.

3

u/LunarTaxi 18h ago

Interesting. I didn’t realize that worked. I figured it was like one of those plants that roots and grows on everything.

So, I imagine after cutting the ivy, step two is root removal?

12

u/AlienDelarge 1d ago

Which hybrid? The main invasive isn't a hybrid and for the most part, the hybrids are all less invasive than Himalayan Blackberry.

8

u/aserranzira 1d ago

My bad, I had previously read that it was from Luther Burbank trying to create a thornless blackberry but I guess it was the Armenian variety that became a menace for us in the process (which is what he called the Himalayan).

3

u/Sphagum 21h ago

Luther Burbank!! He brought and naturalized the Himalayan black berry on the PNW.

2

u/aserranzira 17h ago

I hope he's wrapped in blackberry brambles in hell.

13

u/Jinjoz 2d ago

I just had to pull two of these out of my yard this year. Screw them!

10

u/adams_rejected_hands 2d ago

I have one of these as well as endless vinca which I can’t seem to kill even with a backhoe and new topsoil

30

u/IAmHerdingCatz 2d ago

I have the unholy Trifecta of Tree of Heaven, English Laurel, and Morning Glory--with a touch of bamboo and ivy thrown in to keep me on my toes. My yard is doomed.

21

u/Cherry_Mash 2d ago

You should throw in some knotweed, let them all go at it, and see what wins.

11

u/IAmHerdingCatz 2d ago

Or Scotch Broom.

2

u/Cold_Device9943 17h ago

Don't forget a nice holly tree.

6

u/ropeandharness 1d ago

All of them. All of them will win. They will join forces in an unholy alliance and destroy everything that comes near.

4

u/WillingPatience2805 2d ago

At least there’s no mint?

5

u/firebrandbeads 1d ago

Yet!!! Add some kudzu.

7

u/AbbreviationsLow3992 2d ago

Same issue I'm having with multiflora rose. I went as far as ripping them all up with my truck and a strap on the hitch. One pulled up from the garden bed halfway into my front yard. Had to stop cause I was worried it might have rooted itself under a water line. Now it pops up in the yard too. Good times.

Previous owner didn't keep it upright, so as soon as it hit the deck it started forming nodes.

3

u/aserranzira 1d ago

Oh yes, I had a hell of a time trying to remove that from my mom's yard.

26

u/Pitiful_Yam5754 2d ago

Tbf, I don’t think anyone planted those

111

u/mlachick 2d ago

They just crawled out of hell, fully formed.

10

u/CosmicBewie 2d ago

This is a perfect and awfully accurate description 🤣

33

u/ForestWhisker 2d ago

Well I mean originally they came over in the 1700’s as an ornamental tree. How they exactly got to Oregon no one knows, there’s some theories but no one is sure. They were also the bane of my existence back east doing invasive species removal.

24

u/Zen1 2d ago

A few years ago I was in Athens Greece wandering the city's fancy botanical garden and I stopped dead in my tracks to see a gigantic Tree of Heaven, suddenly getting flashbacks to trying to remove them from my yard. Apparently they don't go invasive in that soil/climate 🤷

11

u/ForestWhisker 2d ago

I know up in the Midwest they do, maybe it’s too hot down there or the botanical garden either didn’t care or had some way to keep it from spreading? Either way I’ve had to treat acres and acres of that stuff. Between that and Autumn Olive I would literally have nightmares where it would just be me walking through huge patches of the two and every time I’d treat one another would sprout out of the ground like the damn hydra.

5

u/ATouchOfTheDizzies 2d ago

Saw a bunch in Paris back in October. Definitely clogging up to metro corridor between CDG and the city.

5

u/RideTheTrai1 1d ago

I think they need to be renamed to Tree of Hell.....🤣

3

u/Tiggerbright1 1d ago

Tree of hell!! All over Vancouver WA.

4

u/bramley36 2d ago

Sweetgum (Liquidambar styraciflua) also have not panned out well as a street tree

5

u/oldcrustybutz 2d ago

I mean they’re a lovely tree, it’s just the seeds that are a problem :D The wood is awesome for wood turning… so it’s nice that people want to cut them down. I got some huge lovely bowls out of a coworkers tree when they got tired of stepping in the caltrops.

6

u/bramley36 2d ago

Sweetgum are also one of the worst culprits in having roots that damage sidewalks

4

u/oldcrustybutz 1d ago

Ok, but other than the sidewalk and foundation damage and the inability to walk under them for several months of the year.....

1

u/PineappleTop69 2d ago

Is that a Mimosa Tree?

366

u/Jokercpoc1 2d ago

THESE ARE THE TREES THAT SMELL LIKE A CRUSTY BACHELORS ROOM. I WOULDNT BE SUPRISED IF YOU SHINED A BLACK LIGHT ON THE TREE AND IT LIT UP BY HOW BAD IT SMELLS. 😭

43

u/left_lane_camper 2d ago

I grew up in Seattle and there’s a park there that has a bunch of these trees. Jizz park is a nice park but oh my god it’s unusable for a couple weeks in the spring.

62

u/iwatchyoupee 2d ago

https://youtube.com/shorts/jRCHNdOaldU?si=vjJizSDgTIWO_v20

12

u/joeschmo945 2d ago

I just heard this yesterday and it’s catchy as fuck.

Also 100% spot on.

0

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

3

u/FlyinTurkey 2d ago

I think it was catchy, they commented 3 times

1

u/ok-jeweler-2950 2d ago

Catchy as fuck!

40

u/heckfyre 2d ago

I feel like I’ve seen a lot of trees that look like this but I’ve never thought they smelled like cum. I’ve never smelled any tree I thought smelled like cum.

Is this one of those only-some-people-can-smell-asparagus-pee type situations?

9

u/UhOhSparklepants 1d ago

I think so. My husband doesn’t smell it but I can. I think it’s like the whole “cilantro tastes like soap” thing. Must be a genetic component

3

u/ScienceNeverLies 1d ago

You’re nose blind to the smell of cum. Interpret that however you want.

13

u/Abbbcdy 2d ago

Oh the jizz trees? I use to work at a golf course and at times certain places on the course would smell like jizz. It was disgusting

13

u/Dlimageworks 2d ago

Haha! I thought I was the only one that thought they smell like that 😝🤣

6

u/No_Representative645 2d ago

They just smell like cum. Crusty bachelor room is much worse.

2

u/adiksaya 1d ago

Princess Donut?

107

u/flyingcoxpdx 2d ago

Handy guide for pruning

2

u/No_Pen3216 Oregon 1d ago

Excellent educational infographic. 🙏

194

u/CenturyLinkIsCheeks 2d ago

The cum tree?

86

u/Zen1 2d ago

Tree of Semen

26

u/PlainNotToasted 2d ago

When I was in second grade I first noticed these; and thought, "these smell like canned shrimp"

I'm from a fishing town.

9

u/Salacious_B_Crumb 2d ago

The splooge spruce

21

u/cakefyartz 2d ago

Treemen

22

u/katdog2118 2d ago

"Meet me under the cum treeeeee"-Rachel Bloom

19

u/dreidrool 2d ago

I’m so happy I found this thread. I thought I was crazy. I literally hold my breath when I walk past these they’re so fucking gross.

8

u/PerBnb 2d ago

https://youtu.be/Rwli6fyuqxM?si=HoYHqtcsEttdojcV

6

u/Worduptothebirdup 2d ago

I was looking for the Mitchell and Webb reference. Thank you!

170

u/Charlie2and4 2d ago

If you water them with pineapple juice they smell better.

25

u/Cube-in-B 2d ago

🤣🤣💀

72

u/FaintXD 2d ago

Shoutout to the new girl at work who said she loved the smell walking outside when we have these planted all over.

45

u/goodnotion612 2d ago

My buddy in college was so stoked one spring when he and his girlfriend walked past a whole row of these trees and she commented “I just love the smell of these!”. They are now married.

28

u/polydactylmonoclonal 2d ago

Blech that’s the one? I hate that smell so much. Honestly may as well smell of feces

39

u/Zeppelin59 2d ago

The jizz blossom tree

34

u/snozzberrypatch 2d ago

Hey, some of us like the smell of cum.

18

u/canofwine 2d ago

“The cum tree pears smell like cum tree pears!”

5

u/snozzberrypatch 2d ago

lol nice one

17

u/kling_klangg 2d ago

Whoever brought Italian Arum can join them in the rotting flesh pile

4

u/Complex-Reality-8329 2d ago

The war Ive had going with this is epic and I'm losing.

21

u/science-burger 2d ago

To me they smell like rotting fish mixed with compost

9

u/beatrix_kitty_pdx 2d ago

Still. We are happy for Spring 🌼

8

u/siriusly_g 2d ago

🎶kill your local Bradford pear

13

u/BoobaFatt13 2d ago

Are you, are you Cumming to the tree? They strung up a man They say who came on three Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be If we met at midnight in the cumming tree

1

u/couldbeahumanbean 14h ago

I need Jennifer Lawrence to sing that version of the song to me.

18

u/Puzzled-Cranberry-12 2d ago

Someone in another sub is attempting to graft edible pear varieties to the Bradford stump in their city. Might be worth a try if you can get permission! Then there’s free fruit!

2

u/PoeTheGhost 2d ago

Neat! Isn't there a grafted multi-fruiting tree at OSU?

2

u/DefinitelyNotSloth 2d ago

I had a grafted pear tree in the backyard of a house I rented, 3 pears one tree.

11

u/Atillion 2d ago

*pile of rotting blossoms

(I once picked some blossoms from the tree and gave to my GF lol)

5

u/Organic-Shake-7937 2d ago

The who neighborhood smells like cum

5

u/Logical_Strike_1520 2d ago

This is the first time I’m seeing other people agree that it smells like cum lol. Nasty

4

u/SnooMacarons3689 2d ago

A handful of these have gone down in my neighborhood when it gets really windy

5

u/BeebleBoxn 2d ago

If you Plant Ginkgo Trees you wont ever have to worry about that pesky tree again. The Fragrance of the Ginkgo will mask the smell and its bright colors will look amazing in the fall.

7

u/Danovale 2d ago

However, the bilobed female Ginko leaves (Ginkos are dioecious) smell like frat house carpet; vomit stench from your worst nightmare. I parked under one with my old International Scout and leaves accumulated in the windshield wiper trough and every time I turned my heater on I was blasted with barf blasts from the heater vents inside.

4

u/BeebleBoxn 2d ago

I use to walk to Elementary school and would have to walk over the fruit.

4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

2

u/StellerDay 2d ago

That's great you and your ex are still cool like that.

3

u/PM_ME_YOUR_HANDCUFFS NE Oregon 2d ago

Parking lot at my work has 8 of these mother fuckers. Show up to work smelling like a god just shot a fat wad all over the property. 

3

u/MehNahNahhh 2d ago

I remember they had some of these trees by the commons area at my college. Was walking behind 2 girls and one said "these trees smell SO good" and she was serious. I died.

3

u/lcbyri 2d ago

oh god i was wondering why i didnt mind these trees as much as my friends do

1

u/msallin 21h ago

lol me too

5

u/-Hal-Jordan- Oregon 2d ago edited 2d ago

Is this a Bradford Pear tree? It's a little distance from the house and I've never smelled anything from it. Also it doesn't grow any pears as far as I've seen.

EDIT - My wife says it's a wild cherry tree.

6

u/Maximum_Warthog_8840 2d ago

It’s pretty, does it make a huge mess?

28

u/Jokercpoc1 2d ago

Smells like semen. Or rotten fish.

20

u/Zen1 2d ago

With a note of rotting mushrooms as well - maybe bolete or oyster

4

u/DumbVeganBItch 2d ago

Omg, yes thank you. Smells just like the waterlogged, bug infested, rotten ass bolete I picked up when I was still learning to ID a few years ago. That haunts me.

7

u/BourbonicFisky PDX + Southern Oregon Coast 2d ago

You learn something new every day. For the life me I couldn't tell you what jizz smells like.

5

u/AdMany9767 2d ago

Go to Steam

6

u/Zen1 2d ago

or a Proud Boy initiation ritual

3

u/TeutonJon78 2d ago

You'd find out much more than what it smells like.

4

u/MacaroniOrCheese 2d ago

It smells like the sea lion docks in Newport, but a little worse.

9

u/Pitiful_Yam5754 2d ago

Grows fast, but is horribly brittle. We had one (not planted by us) and after a huge branch just dropped off, we had it taken down. Found out it had split inside the trunk and it would have been awful in the next windstorm. 

Has gone invasive on the east coast and I just don’t like those odds.

3

u/Excellent_Regret_441 2d ago

Most don't even grow this even as they easily damage. In my neighborhood they smell as bad a they look.

2

u/Maximum_Warthog_8840 2d ago

Stinky and messy! Burn it down and put in blue spruce!

4

u/Wild_Markings 2d ago

In Sacramento they are called cum trees.

8

u/Big_moisty_boi 2d ago

They’re called that everywhere lol

2

u/WillingPatience2805 2d ago

There’s nothing like ginkgo trees in the spring in Philadelphia. Seeds cover the sidewalks. Sticky and stinky. Like poop and puke had a baby

2

u/tornado1950 2d ago

What kind of tree is it?

2

u/Pheebsie 2d ago

Oh I swear to the dark gods I find one of these in SW WA I am going to cut it down with an axe out of pure spite and burn it. My mom planted no less than 20 of these when I lived in AR spring smelled so God awful.

2

u/RideTheTrai1 1d ago

I removed one last year from my yard. Replacing with a maple.

1

u/annapartlow 1d ago

Which variety? You may regret a random regular maple. They throw seeds everywhere, get huge, and the leaves are prolific and huge, get wet, hard do pick up.

1

u/RideTheTrai1 1d ago

Thanks for the concern! It's a hybrid and in our region, they aren't super problematic. I'd like to also add a few Japanese maples.

2

u/Tiggerbright1 1d ago

TTree of hell is so tough it is the tree in the book, A Tree Grows In Brooklyn.

2

u/xeonrage 1d ago

I find they are quite nice when properly trimmed. It's easy too.

Pro tip: take a chainsaw and make a single clean cut, as close to the ground as possible.. b00m.. the best Bradford one could ask for.

2

u/Odd-Information-1219 1d ago

I want to rage about Pop Weed, aka Jumping Jesus, aka Cardamine hirsuta aka Hairy Bitterctess

2

u/Zilabus 1d ago

I actually like these. I know they have structural integrity issues, but i have never noticed a bad smell and think they are beautiful when in blossom

2

u/infused_frequency 1d ago

I remember when my roommate said that when we were outside having a smoke. I couldn't not smell it after that and now it just makes me gag.

Fun fact: Those are male trees. The city doesn't plant female trees to bear fruit because that's just not productive for business. We are drowning in allergies because of greed, again. It is cum trees with no where to go.

2

u/Dangerous_Midnight91 1d ago

If you want to plant an asshole tree that’s beautiful for 5 minutes in May, plant a choke cherry. If I see you planting Bradford Pear trees, I will run them over, regardless of any damage to my truck and then start a petition to have you kicked out of Oregon!

2

u/No_Pen3216 Oregon 1d ago

"Everything smells like, cum trees" is the chorus of an amazing song I recently heard on TikTok. Fuck the Bradford Pear.

2

u/msallin 21h ago

ITT: people who don’t swallow

2

u/helmchor 19h ago

Cum for the trees, … - actually no, just GTFOOH with those fucking trees.

2

u/RipCityGringo 2d ago

Prolly the same asshole who brought blackberries…

1

u/nopenope12345678910 2d ago

Most blackberries west of the cascades are native to oregon....

7

u/RipCityGringo 2d ago

There are native and non-native species of blackberry. The Himalayan blackberry (Rubus armeniacus) is a major invasive in the PNW, but trailing blackberry (Rubus ursinus) is native.

The version that terrorizes my property and most folks in the NW is the invasive version…

2

u/rogmew 2d ago

Himalayan blackberry (Rubus armeniacus) is one of the worst (possibly the worst) invasive species in Oregon, and evergreen blackberry (Rubus laciniatus) is pretty bad as well. They're all over western Oregon.

1

u/OceanOfPopcorn 2d ago

What’s so bad about this tree?

1

u/wilkil BEAVERTRON 2d ago

It smells like cum when it blossoms

1

u/OceanOfPopcorn 1d ago

I live on an old pear Orchard, I’ve lived here 13 years, I’ve never smelled this before.

1

u/wilkil BEAVERTRON 1d ago

Might be specific to Bartlett pear trees.

3

u/RinellaWasHere 1d ago

Bradford pear, not Bartlett! Bartletts are one of the really popular edible kinds, Bradfords are the awful ornamental ones.

1

u/wilkil BEAVERTRON 1d ago

Oh you’re totally right I was on autopilot!

1

u/DontOvercookPasta 2d ago

My neighborhood has bunches of these and i fucking hate it.

1

u/Zen1 2d ago

Everyone loves Double Mountain but no one wants to sit outside today…

1

u/Rich-Canary1279 2d ago

Which Double Mountain?

1

u/purple_lantern_lite 2d ago

Thoughts and prayers. 

1

u/Shallow_wanderer Albany 2d ago

Are these the mfs that shed the sappy little leaves all over my car as they're blooming, and then I have to take goo-gone to my windshield, roof and hood to get the stuff off?

Or are these the trees that wantonly project that really sour smell in the air during the spring/early summer months?

1

u/UntamedAnomaly 2d ago edited 2d ago

Oh.....maybe that's the smell I smell that smells nasty, yet planty. I never see any blossoming trees though whenever I smell that smell though, so maybe it's a different plant that I am smelling....I hear the boxwood bushes don't smell good either, maybe it's them.

On the + side, I didn't know about the nosegasm inducing smell of linden trees and solomon's seal until I moved here almost 14 years ago, thanks for whoever brought those here. Also thanks for all the smelly roses!

1

u/timid_soup 2d ago

Everyone is calling them jizz trees, we called them "dirty vagina" trees 😂

1

u/timid_soup 2d ago

Everyone is calling them jizz trees, in high school we called them "dirty vagina" trees 😂

1

u/Lostkith 2d ago

Yeah, parking lots are the worst!

1

u/twistedpiggies 2d ago

* My first experience with one in the front yard of the home i had moved into in summer. Spring rolls around and I find myself searching the property for the corpse of some animal that must have died somewhere. It was days before realizing it was the pretty tree in the front yard. We still call them corpsetrees.

1

u/Nline6 2d ago

Cumtree!

1

u/SiskiyouSavage 2d ago

Acacia trees are also like this. Jizz trees.

1

u/Dangerous_Midnight91 1d ago

Lol, it took le a year after moving from Bend to Eugene to figure out why the entire town smelled like baby batter!

1

u/BigMikeSwinging 22h ago

What tree is this?

1

u/EstablishmentMore890 20h ago

Are they worse than Apricots?

1

u/Alexandritecrys 19h ago

This person and the one who chose to plant all those trees that she'd the stupid spicky balls

1

u/desertdwelle 2d ago

so we all suffer for the effected.... Stay inside or relocate to a non agriculture status but you will miss the pear/prune latte's

1

u/perplexedparallax 2d ago

There are better opportunities for higher zone trees instead of trees better suited for colder climates. Plus that tree screams Bradford was here.

0

u/PrizFinder 2d ago

They can’t be worse than Norway Maples.

-1

u/Steampunkedcrypto 2d ago

After reading these posts, it is apparent some yall need better diets.