Could anyone point me towards any discussions or writings on the psychology of a fingers being put into a partners mouth during sex?

[u/2spookyglasses]

I’m currently writing an essay on this act as a repeated motif in a film and I was curious if it’s ever been discussed more cerebrally on why this happens during sex, the power dynamics at play, and the general psychology behind it. I’ve been struggling to find anything in my research so if anyone can give me better guidance I’d really appreciate it.

[u/duffstoic]

My 2c: definitely a power dynamic and also a simulation of oral sex or penetration.

[u/asuitablethrowaway → u/duffstoic]

Yes, this was always my take on it as well.

[u/synth_this]

Miranda July wrote about this act in All Fours:

https://imagizer.imageshack.com/img922/3544/wrlksj.jpg

I find it incredibly erotic, but it’s hard to explain why. Part of it is that it is somehow taboo.

[u/ImpressiveFan7446]

It also just feels great. The hands and mouths are so integrated into the sexual experience because they’re two of our most central sensory tools. Your touch, my taste. Your taste, my touch. Combining those two sense centers together during sex, especially in an on screen depiction, is sooo intimate.

[u/Sarkasmic_Trix]

I'm following this as someone who gets insanely turned on when my fingers are sucked, my curiosity is piqued! It's not just during sex, if my fingers are licked or sucked, it's an instant turn on.

[u/rasbabyprincess]

For me it’s comforting. I love my partner and his hands being on any place of my body, makes me feel safe. Plus it’s hot and there’s definitely some power dynamic in play as well:3

[u/Choosemyusername]

I would caution against too much asking “why is this hot”

Why is a nonsense question when it comes to sexiness. There doesn’t need to be a why. The why is normally constructed after the fact.

If you ask one person they may say something about s some power dynamic thing. Someone else might find the novel sensory experience pleasant. Both might be wrong, and both might be right.

The why is the least interesting thing about it.

[u/[deleted] → u/Choosemyusername]

I mostly agree with this tbh. While I don’t think “why” is ever a nonsense question, I do think the answer to that “why” is not always going to be one of substance or a black and white answer. Plus this question in particular would be context dependent. You’ll find that people of all types - gay or straight, dom or sub enjoy putting their fingers in their partners mouth.

You can do a psychological analysis of literally anything but whether that it would be a really a significant analysis is another thing.

[u/Choosemyusername → u/[deleted]]

I find we seem to just overlay our framing of the era over whatever we like.

For example, there is a lot being blamed on porn right now for rough sex/BDSM type play, whatever you call it.

But literally the first written text we have found was a description of BDSM practices inscribed on clay tablets.

I don’t know what Freud had to say about it but I guarantee he didn’t blame porn.

[u/2spookyglasses → u/Choosemyusername]

this very much isn’t a question I’m asking about my personal experience and definitely not just limited to “sexiness”. I was just curious if anyone could point me to objective discussion about the act. Much has been written about choking but despite putting fingers in a partners mouth being (I presume) just as common, I can’t find anything written about it.

[u/Choosemyusername → u/2spookyglasses]

It’s a subjective experience though.

What do you mean objective?

[u/IAmVictoriaGray → u/Choosemyusername]

In my experience - why is always constructed after the fact and sometimes can distress people if they over-analyze or have trauma that is similar to their 'yum'

[u/Kitchen-Historian371]

Hahahahah this is a great question!

[u/Head-Study4645]

I honestly would love something to put in my mouth, fingers, penis, and fill me with their dominance

[u/latchunhooked]

I think it’s a stand-in for a blow job.

[u/Articulationized]

Penetration is sexual. It’s this simple. We put tongues, fingers, and penises in all holes (except the nose….maybe). Even ears get penetrated. It would be pretty inconsistent if putting fingers in mouths was taboo.

[u/Character_Pop_6628]

Any depictions from Pompeii? I bet it's ancient... sucking on things....

[u/Mixedmediations]

A digit and a warm hole, mysterious

[u/blowmyassie → u/Mixedmediations]

But it happens from women to men too

[u/Mixedmediations → u/blowmyassie]

Naturally

[u/blowmyassie → u/Mixedmediations]

Shouldn’t they instead simulate the opposite?

[u/Mixedmediations → u/blowmyassie]

Alot of sexuality is novelty