I'm proud of you

By MAIA

When you have high self-worth, you do things that reinforce your belief that you’re worthy.

You ask for support when you need it. You stand up for yourself when someone disrespects you. You accept love without questioning if you deserve it

When you have low self-worth, you only give yourself what you think you deserve, which isn’t very much.

You let people walk all over you. You pass up on opportunities you don’t think you’re good enough for. You have trouble meeting your needs because you don’t think your needs are very important.

Here’s what you need to remember: Low self-worth cultivates circumstances that reinforce your sense of worthlessness — the same sense of worthlessness that accepted those circumstances in the first place.

Hey friends,

I wanted to share this post because I feel like it might help someone if you feel stuck, uncertain, confused on how to move forward, etc.

https://medium.com/@westtxdesert/detachment-how-to-actually-do-it-8c53e104d718

Not so much better.. but much more controllable. I am 25 and honestly, I have wanted to get married for as long as I can remember. WELL, after 2 long term relationships, failed situationships and a couple one night stands- I can conclude none of it was worth it.

I have spent so much time trying to be the best partner I can be, I forgot I am also a sister. A daughter, a friend, a student, a teacher, a coworker. I am so much more than just someone’s girlfriend and every time I catch myself craving a relationship, I ask myself how I can be a better friend today? How can I be a better neighbor today? A better roommate?

All this, mixed with a breakup, has been grounding me more than just about anything. I hope this helps someone else too.

I walk forward with strength. May my new path only be filled with good intentions, good energy, and love. May evil forces no longer penetrate. May I only find enlightenment and betterment. May I finally be healed 🖤❤️‍🔥

♥️

conventional beauty standards are somewhat changing now with the internet and minorities becoming recognised/famous but there’s still such a culture where the typical white, blonde, skinny person with light coloured eyes is always above. everywhere i look, in a group of social media creators, the one who fits that aged, traditional beauty standard still gets the most views and likes. it’s almost impossible to see this with undeniably beautiful white women and not feel inadequate as a minority or even as an ‘average-looking’ person.

[there’s so much more to this like the conversation about how minorities have to perform more, look better, put in more work to be nearly as recognised and appreciated as a regular/‘average’ white person but because this is a self love community and not a discussion about society page i won’t get into it.]

i don’t know, i think as a person who is self conscious i’ll naturally compare myself to anyone who i think is even remotely more attractive, talented or skilled than me but i think the beauty standard and white women in general is absolutely unreachable. logically speaking i see that these standards were clearly made by white people, for white people, to have superiority because the average black or asian person isn’t going to have blonde hair, light coloured eyes, a tiny nose, prominent cheekbones and eyebrow bones. even in knowing that and knowing as a woman of colour i can’t meet that beauty standard unless i get my face completely done (even then biologically i wouldn’t be white), i cannot help but compare, put myself down, compete. in a time where relationships and being well-liked is so valuable/important, these beauty standards come into play and can make anyone feel a little insecure especially when white people seem more likely to be popular, admired, asked out, get into successful relationships, etc.

this is not an issue that constantly bothers me or something i’ve based my life around but more of a insecurity issue that comes up every now and then when i see beautiful women of colour and beautiful white women and the noticeable difference in who gets the most validation and how frequently. it feels like we’ll never be able to thrive with these beauty standards that don’t consider us at all, if it were a competition it wouldn’t be fair

Hey everyone,

I guess I'll just jump right in n say I have very little self love atm. Maybe not so much against myself but moreso the situation. Been going through a depressive episode since the end of last year. I've been in therapy, but unfortunately that ended a few weeks ago. Earlier this year I was drinking myself to sleep but am now on medication. I'm fresh out of a break up. I am not okay n I want to believe I can do this but everything's just exploding right in front of me.

I know that all of this will pass the shame of knowing that bc I can't get my shit together... it's honestly killing me inside. I keep saying I'm trying I'm trying but I can't keep people waiting forever... The self love is not self loving 🥲

I (22F) have always felt insecure about my appearance. Ever since I was a little girl, I always managed to find something to hate about myself. First, it was my skin tone (I’m a dark-skinned south indian woman and colorism is rampant in our community). Once I started to feel comfortable in my own skin, I started hating my curly hair. Then it was my nose, my side profile, even my FINGERS. I gained a lot of weight by the time I graduated high school. I don’t know what came over but I suddenly started to get back in shape and dropped 50 pounds by the end of the covid lockdown. I felt content with my body and I was proud of the hard work I put in to get to a healthy weight. But it wasn’t long before I started hating my body again. This time it’s my saggy boobs, cellulite, and stretch marks. I tried strength training and lifting weights because i read somewhere that it would help perk up my boobs. I tracked every little morsel of food i eat and ate like 150 grams of protein everyday to put on a little muscle and tone my body. Still no results. I still have saggy boobs, cellulite, and stretch marks. I avoid wearing mini skirts because I have a lot of cellulite on my thighs. I don’t wear sleeveless shirts because i have so many stretch marks near my armpit area. I even have a few stretch marks that come all the way down to the top of my forearm. It all just makes me feel miserable. I’m trying to avoid social media because every time I’m on tiktok or instagram I develop another insecurity about my body that I didn’t even notice before.

Healing is a process, not a destination, and I want to remind you that it’s completely normal to face triggers even after you think you've healed.

If you've ever thought you were healed from a past trauma or struggle, only to feel triggered again, you're not alone. Healing isn't linear, and every experience teaches us something new. I'll talk about how to deal with the ups and downs of healing, and how you can turn your triggers into tools for personal growth.

If you’re dealing with a similar situation or have overcome a tough period in your life, remember... healing is a journey, and you're stronger than you think. Trust the process, trust yourself, and stay focused on your growth.

I've been through a journey overcoming challenges such unemployment, divorce and anxiety, and I've been able to overcome all of these challenges! I've made it and my life is much happier, much better now! I want to let you know, that If I could make it, you can make it too!

I've shared my learnings and experiences in a video on my self development YT Channel (link below in case you want to check it out), here's what I want to share:

• How to recognize emotional triggers and work through them
• Why healing is not linear and how to embrace the process
• The importance of self-compassion during tough times
• How to build emotional strength to better handle future challenges
• Tips for letting go and surrendering control in your life

It'll definitely motivate you and give you another perspective 🥰

https://yt.openinapp.co/ue1dk

I swore us breaking a part was going to make you see that losing me was your loss, never mine. I never lost anything when we parted. My heart kept loving, my soul kept scarching, and my world kept evolving. I was embracing who I was becoming. What you couldn't dim was the light I held within. What you couldn't take was the worth I built from the resilience of every heartbreak and lesson I learned. I thought losing me was going to be your loss because what I provided was something you couldn't find in someone else—1 knew I was an irreplaceable love. I was an authentic version of myself, and I couldn't understand why someone would want to bear losing something so rare. But I was wrong, it wasn't your loss how could it be? When you didn't care cherish me when you had me. I was bitter in the end because I couldn't understand how with my love, effort, and honest reflection-someone could leave me broken, it was easier to say it was your loss, hoping you would feel the weight of my absence. But the truth is, I was the only one who was grieving.

A couple of weeks ago, I had created a post on here discussing how I was seeing someone and my last final act of love was letting him go - which btw, I received a text from him stating how wonderful and stunning I was but he wasn't ready for a relationship. I never responded - there was nothing else to say. I think my silence spoke for itself. Old me would have "crashed" out - begged him to stay/work things out. I had already sent him a text wishing him the best, so his text didn't affect me as much. However, I did want what we had to work - it just wasn't meant to be.

I watched The Life List on Netflix tonight and I honestly thought I was seeing myself on television. So, here I am, planning out my life list and a letter to myself. No timeline in particular, but hoping that everything I have written down by the age of 30 (I'm 25) - is accomplished or experienced. Here's to a different routine and a new version of myself... I owe myself that.