Life & Times: Ep 14 - “My mom died.”

In this episode I talk with my sister Tiffany about how our mom’s substance abuse affected her growing up. We discuss the moments leading up to her death, and the ridiculous party I threw to help raise money for her tombstone.

I've realized that the quiet story we hold about ourselves—the silent narrative we live by—might actually be the biggest reason why we stay stuck. It's not just the conscious thoughts we observe in meditation or daily life, but the deeper beliefs we rarely question about who we fundamentally think we are. These beliefs shape everything: our posture, energy, actions, decisions, and even our subconscious reactions. And yet, for many of us, this internal identity isn't something we've ever consciously chosen—it's something we've inherited from experiences, setbacks, or other people's expectations.

Here's why this matters: I used to think that simply repeating positive affirmations or trying to "think positively" was enough to make meaningful change. But often, I noticed a strange internal resistance, a kind of dissonance between what I was consciously affirming and what I subconsciously believed about myself. My body language, energy, and subtle behaviors kept reverting back to old patterns. It was frustrating, and I couldn't figure out why.

The breakthrough for me was understanding that our identity isn't fixed or permanent, it's constantly being written, whether we're aware of it or not. True mindfulness, then, isn't just noticing thoughts; it's becoming deeply aware of this inner identity and consciously choosing to shift it. It’s about becoming aware of the source.

Our internal identity shapes our reality, which means it’s important to recognize when our self-image is silently sabotaging our growth, and most importantly, how to genuinely rewrite it. So, I thought I'd share this one below too, in case it's helpful for anyone else exploring this angle of mindfulness and personal growth. My only hope is that this type of conversation at least gets you to question yourself and your inner thoughts in a good way. That’s where real change happens. 

https://youtu.be/HEKoBL1vRfs 

I'm curious about your experiences - have you ever felt your self-image or subconscious beliefs holding you back? If you've tried shifting your identity consciously, what worked for you? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

https://www.youtube.com/@Alexa_the_cutest

We got a dog and my whole family instantly fell in love with her. Her name is Alexa. My mom after insisting that she doesn't have time for a youtube channel now posts videos regularly and found a great hobby. +Alexa is absolutely adorable.