r/srilanka • u/Perfect-Forever1112 • 1d ago

Serious replies only I want to understand people with racism and how they can be involved with a minority person romantically.

I have a friend who I am romantically involved with and he is nice to me and sweet, but I notice sometimes that he has racist views towards Muslims, Tamils and dislikes anything with the English language/Posh people. I am a Tamil person. So I am wondering how someone who has these views can still be friends/romantically involved with a minority person. Has anyone else faced a similar situation in Sri Lanka? I want to understand their mindsets. It's conflicting.

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u/e9967780 North America 1d ago edited 1d ago

The AfD leader in Germany who wants to kick out all non-Germans (even citizens whose families have been there for generations) is actually in a relationship with a Sri Lankan woman. It’s kind of telling how some people who hate certain groups often have deep issues with their own identity (The AFD leader is Gay by the way). Psychology has a lot to say about this kind of contradiction. I’d call him damaged goods - without some serious therapy, he’ll probably carry that hatred his whole life. And sadly, if he has kids with you, those attachment issues and prejudices might get passed down to them too. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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u/ashm1d51lva 1d ago

I also don’t understand people who choose to associate people who clearly are racist/ sexist towards people of their community. For instance, like how does JD Vance’s wife feel. Or Marine’s even.

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u/e9967780 North America 1d ago edited 1d ago

True, OP fully knows she’s living with a straight-up racist. Yet she still wants to continue the relationship but is looking for strangers on Reddit to help her decide. Deep down, her gut is already telling her something’s off.

As for JD, he’s just a grifter who was definitely marrying up when he got with his Indian wife. He wasn’t openly racist back then. Flip side is, Asian American women often have this pattern of marrying down in North America as long as the guy is white. Being white gives these men status that Asian men don’t get with these high-achieving women - lots of psychological stuff going on there. There’s this female Chinese comedian from mainland China who has this really sharp joke about Asian women chasing after any white guy they come across.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​