Does equanimity developed on the cushion transfer to real life?

[u/VegetableArea]

I've been sitting consistently for about half an hour a day for last half a year and I see some gains and progress, usually after about 10 minutes my mind quiets down and I actually enjoy the practice and the slowing down of thoughts.

However my worry is, in daily life I dont see much improvement and I tend to succumb to the suffering created by the mind as easily as before. Any insights gained on the cushion dont seem to help in my busy daily life, and I tend to fall into unhappy thought loops, same as before starting the practice.

Any hints, comments?

[u/eudoxos_]

You said nothing about what your practice is. I will assume it is some kind of calming, as you mention slowing down thoughts and enjoying it.

Find some practice which is targeting daily life. If you are new to this, structure can help a lot — perhaps something like MBSR: grounding in the body, identifying feelings and thoughts, dealing with difficult feelings, thought loops, self-judgment, recognizing when the mind goes onto autopilot etc. If you think it is kindergarten: that depends on how much investigation you bring in there.

You need to get really really intimate with you own suffering to let go of it. The idea (not saying you subscribe to it, but some folks do) that meditation will give you equanimity without facing your stuff is a fairytale. One which actually has a name: spiritual bypass.

[u/magnifcenttits → u/eudoxos_]

What exactly is the process of facing your stuff for you specifically? Because you can for example realize that situation A makes you mad, and meditation can be a tool for recognizing that and regulating that, but what other tools do you mean when saying by facing your stuff? I for example know that my fear of failure is the reason i don't try new things and I know that I need to go anyways to those place outside the comfort zone, but I don't do that because of the fear. Are you referring that to facing it or you means also something completely different?

[u/eudoxos_ → u/magnifcenttits]

This is exactly what I mean. But instead of "regulating" (which is, as most people mean it, an expression of aversion, judgment, suppression) first really plunge into it in real-time: what triggers are there (sensory input), what perception of the situation, feeling tone, what happens in the body, what is the reaction inside/outside, what feelings are present: seeing the process as it unfolds. Having a structure here is really helpful. Equanimity (as in: cool no matter what happens) is a fruit of the practice of insight, and not an easy one.

If you do on-cushion insight practices, this kind of conditioning will come up as well (such as thoughts about being meditation failure), that is also precious opportunity for insight.

There is equanimity which comes from seclusion (=little happening), that's the stabiliziation (samatha) practice. It is useful, you see potential of the mind, you can recognize off-cushion when the mind is agitated (most ppl have no clue, since it is just always agitated). But it has its limits, because there is no insight into what is happening, and once you are out of the meditation, it feels like being back to square one. Because, from the point of view of insight and letting go of old patterns, you really are.