r/thanksimcured • u/Anonomouds • 5d ago
Social Media This guy is the epitome of this sub š
It has to be satire oml
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u/Indescribable_Theory 5d ago
Also, Raw Milk is NOT OKAY FOR CATS. Most cats are lactose intolerant. Please don't give your cats Raw Milk.
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u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 5d ago
Also, wouldnāt they get whatever bacteria makes it unsafe for humans?
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u/bsubtilis 5d ago
Yes but they also die from birdflu, a virus, that is currently harming humans and killing cats because we managed to infest dairy cows with fricken birdflu.
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u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 5d ago
Birds also die from bird flu. I think everything can die from bird flu at this point.
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u/Indescribable_Theory 5d ago
Yeah, and as a point to remember, cats are affected by different bacteria differently than humans, and on top of the lactase in raw milk, it's a pretty big risk to put your cat in.
I can't believe it's suggested for cats on the label.
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u/SomewhereMammoth 5d ago
also to add, there have been multiple recorded deaths of cats from drinking milk off barn floors from infected cattle with bird flu
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u/HOTasHELL24-7 4d ago
Really? Where do they keep this record of cats that die specifically from barn floor bird flu infected cow milk? š¤
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u/SomewhereMammoth 4d ago
from ranchers who have cats and kittens in the barn. most do for mice. nice try tho
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u/linuxgeekmama 5d ago
I will remind anyone who is willing to risk it that the symptoms of lactose intolerance include vomiting, diarrhea, and gas. Also that cats arenāt very good at making it to the toilet before they vomit or have diarrhea. Theyāre not good at cleaning up messes, either.
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u/TheBladeWielder 5d ago
isn't pretty much any mammal that's not an infant lactose intolerant? though i guess cats are the main one people don't realize that for.
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u/Indescribable_Theory 5d ago
Correct. But I know too many people that gives their cats milk, however raw milk is considerably more harmful for cats with higher lactase levels and the bacteria can absolutely destroy a cats guts.
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u/IffySaiso 5d ago
You mean lactose, as lactase is what would help you break the lactose down. And why would the lactose be higher? I don't think it would be where I live. The only difference between raw and treated milk is that they've taken some of the fat off, and that it's been heated very shortly. Why would heating milk reduce lactose?
Not saying milk isn't bad for cats. It absolutely is. Unless it's lactose-free, maybe.
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u/HOTasHELL24-7 4d ago
You know lots of people that give their cats milk and what happens to their cats? (My guess isā¦.nothing serious or they wouldnāt do it)?
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u/Snoo-88741 5d ago
Any mammal except humans, cats and dogs, because of our long shared history of drinking milk from livestock.Ā
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u/Porfavor_my_beans 5d ago
Nearly true, but even so, the vast majority of humans are still lactose intolerant, and adult cats and dogs are very much still lactose intolerant.
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u/Tangled_Clouds 5d ago
Dogs too! Saw my dog have really bad diarrhea which he tried to wipe on every single couch after my grandparents fed him cheese so yāknow, pro tip for owners of feline and canine fluff balls: donāt
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u/Indescribable_Theory 5d ago
I was unaware of dogs inability. I mean, it does make sense. Also, floor milk is a pair of words I hope to never hear/see again in my life, but another commentary stated, definitely ain't great.
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u/Huitzil37 4d ago
I mean counterpoint: the absolutely massive number of dog treats that use cheese with no controversy whatsoever
if dogs were never supposed to have dairy they wouldn't sell hollowed-out bones filled with cheese at every pet store I've ever been to.
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u/Tangled_Clouds 4d ago
Counter-counterpoint: these treats donāt have lactose. Dogs canāt have lactose specifically. Cheese that has been aged a really long time or prepared in a specific way can be free of lactose. My dog loves yak cheese chew and since my parents are lactose intolerant, we give him a little bit of lactose-free cheese and lactose-free cream as a little very occasional treat and heās fine
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u/Huitzil37 4d ago
Stuffed cheesy bones do not use special aged cheese. They usually have normal-ass cheddar.
Cottage cheese you buy from Kroger is also not specially aged or treated, but it's the most reliable way to get your dog to take a pill if smearing peanut butter on it has stopped working. Or you could literally wrap it in a slice of cheese. Or get the cheese paste from the same place your veterinarian gets it, where the bacon flavor's fake but the cheese isn't. Then, for being a good boy, you can give him one of hundreds of cheese treats made with normal-ass cheddar. Or maybe he could snatch a cheeseburger or pizza slice or taco with cheese OUT OF MY GOD DAMN HANDS and wolf it down in a second and then regret absolutely nothing and know he will do it again if given the slightest opportunity.
A few dogs are lactose intolerant but so are a few people; as a general rule cheese is fine for dogs.
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u/Tangled_Clouds 4d ago
Many canines are lactose intolerant so as it can be safe, dairy should still be a āsometimesā treat
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u/Entire-Ambition1410 3d ago
I knew two dogs who knocked a brand-new bottle of fish oil doggie supplements off the table, chew it open (on the only piece of carpet on that level of the house) and lick too much. Their owner just put on swimming trunks and locked himself in the bathroom with all the dogs for bath time.
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u/Snoo-88741 5d ago
Actually, while cats are more likely to be lactose intolerant than humans, there's still plenty of cats who tolerate lactose just fine. Just give them a small amount at first and monitor their litterbox afterwards, and if you see any changes, don't give them any more.
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u/puro_the_protogen67 5d ago
Idk drinking raw milk would solve alot of my problems by killing me
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u/PeenInVeen 5d ago
It'll make you happy for the rest of your life. Granted it'll only be about a week.
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u/linuxgeekmama 5d ago
If you died from something you caught from drinking raw milk, then you wouldnāt be anxious any more, now would you?
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u/justanokbabe 5d ago
Oh but after caughg it UNTIL he die, he would be very anxious i believe, thats the tricky part
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u/Dish_Minimum 3d ago
I feel like my family would have to relocate to another town if I died this way. Nobody could forget the small town headline ālocal shits himself to death on Main Street.ā
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u/krebstar4ever 4d ago
Dairy cows shit all over their udders, all the time. It happens even in the nicest family farm, let alone factory farming.
That's why milk needs to be pasteurized.
(I'm just adding to your point)
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u/Blue_Bird950 5d ago
This is definitely satire. No way they just left the ānot for human consumptionā label on.
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u/BookishPick 4d ago edited 1d ago
Actually I can see it not being satire because these people think that raw milk bans are a ploy to keep the population unhealthy. Not joking, by the way. So, they could be keeping that on to supposedly act like a prophet fighting against evil food regulations.
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u/MotherSithis 5d ago
Anxiety moves from normal things to "I must appease my deity or face his wrath" and "Will I shit myself because of breakfast?"
Totally better.
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u/RiniBnnuy247 5d ago
No no, heās right Drinking raw dairy will cure you of everything after you drink enough :)
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u/Arcturus_Revolis 5d ago
It will cure the disease with the most incredible and powerful symptom ever :
Life !
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u/Quack_Candle 5d ago
Iād feel pretty anxious if Iād just drunk out of a bottle that said ā NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTIONā
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u/xXinkjetprinter69Xx 5d ago
He's right I should start putting things in my body that aren't for human consumption. Look out toxic waste, here I come.
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u/wayward_whatever 5d ago
He means the abrahameic god, right? "Pur god above all and you'll be fine" tell Hiob about that....
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u/Chaser2537 5d ago
Holy fucking shit I hate these fake motivational, self bettering tiktok accounts. I'm mentally and want to better myself not be indoctrinated AGAIN
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u/NekulturneHovado 5d ago
I learned to be cynical and flegmatic to help with my anxiety. Did it help my anxiety? Not at all. Did it make me a fucking psychopath able to kill anyone? Hell yeah.
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u/Discombobulated_Key3 5d ago
You can't think yourself into existential angst when you're in severe pain crouched over the toilet!
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u/perplexedparallax 5d ago
This young man shall henceforth be called Anxy and be the butt of all jokes related to anxiety.
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u/Saint_Jinn 5d ago edited 5d ago
Oh, I thought initially that it was bleach
He does look like someone who drinks bleach
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u/linuxgeekmama 5d ago
Of course he does! Youāve got to do something to cure the gastrointestinal problems from drinking raw milk.
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u/Pseudonyme_de_base 5d ago
1: there's no reason to think any god exist. 2: smiling is just exhausting if you're too depressed to feel it's positive effect. 3: raw diary contains awful amount of harmful bacteria, idk how people can think it's good to consume those.
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u/linuxgeekmama 5d ago
You might think the devil exists when the symptoms of infection by the microbes in the raw milk set in, though.
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u/OnionTamer 5d ago
Why do idiots think drinking raw milk will solve any problems, let alone ALL their problems.
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u/Distinct_Ad9497 5d ago
Macrodosing on raw milk so I can get anxious about different and exciting new things.
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u/Piduf 5d ago
Joke aside, people telling you to pray / talk to god or whatever to cure anxiety couldn't be further away from a solution.
Like oh yeah, I'm no longer anxious now I know an unstoppable, omniscient force above me is watching my every move and may or may not condemn me to eternal suffering if I don't comply with its arbitrary rules. I feel relaxed now.
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u/fibstheman 5d ago
raw milk is about 840x as likely to get you sick as milk suitable for drinking. not like there was an industrial mini-revolution themed around making milk safe to drink called pasteurization or anything
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u/Salt_Honey8650 4d ago
From one picture to the next: Clueless. Brainwashed. Sexist (you can bet your ass he says this to women all the time, never to men). Aaaaand pustule! An all-around waste of a skin. Entitled, too!
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u/AlteredEinst 4d ago
It's amazing how far we've made it as a species considering how many of us are too stupid to live.
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u/Dylanator13 4d ago
Some people do find happiness in god. And smiling does have an affect on mood sometimes I guess.
But raw milk? I could understand the first two, but you are not going to be happy when you are in the hospital from an easily preventable illness. Iām surprised this guy doesnāt drink the horse Gatorade as well and flood his system with way too much potassium.
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u/Rocket_of_Takos 3d ago
Itās so funny how itās like āIāve overcome my mental troubles through finding Godā to āDrink Raw Dairyā
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u/Asleep-Lemon-5138 3d ago
all of the people who post these types of things just convince me more that the purpose faith serves is aiding uncertainty by giving someone concrete rules/answers to life that they can find solace in. no idea what scripture says drinking raw milk is where to find said solace tho.
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u/NPC_Tundra 5d ago
God is worse than Hitler
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u/Delicious_Bid_6572 5d ago
Yes and no. Hitler killed millions of people, and his ideology keeps killing. God is only ideology and is killing people for as long as it exists
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u/thatsuperRuDeguy 5d ago
āDrink raw dairyā
One jug has NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION right on the front. The jokes write themselves.
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u/Bertie637 5d ago
I love how God can cure literally anything except whatever the hell the dairy industry is doing to us.
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u/UwU-Lemon 5d ago
says to drink raw dairy
raw dairy has "NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION" on the label
can't be anxious if you're dead i guess
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u/A_Horse_On_The_Web 5d ago
I mean he might just be technically correct with the raw milk curing it.......
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u/Which-Amphibian7143 5d ago
Actually drinking raw dairy can help, after Salmonella attacks and if you avoid going to the hospital, you can peacefully sleep ā¦. Forever!
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u/z0mb1ezgutz 5d ago
put a guy who may or may not exist above everything, smile, get e-coli. got it.
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u/No_Squirrel4806 5d ago
Its probably satire but theres actually people out there that agree and preach this. ššš
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u/_bagelcherry_ 5d ago
That makes sense. You won't have time for anxiety while having the nastiest diarrhea in your life
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u/Pentagramdreams 5d ago
Raw dairy would literally kill me. My lactose intolerance would do me in before the parasites
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u/brocketman59 5d ago
I think this thing happened where because guys perceived as wimpy and beta liked to drink soy milk (and got ragged on for that) that suddenly last couple years more masculine guys decided to go way further in the opposite direction and declare cow milk is like amazing for you to drink. In reality itās probably perfectly fine and has some good vitamin D content and nothing special really. Like someone who drinks a lot of milk is probably no healthier than someone who only drinks water.
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u/somethingstrange87 5d ago
My mother drank raw milk when she was younger. This wasn't a problem because the stuff came from the family cow she helped milk. You shouldn't be buying raw dairy from questionable sources that says "not for human consumption" on the damn jug.
Also, my mom is a pretty damn anxious person ...
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u/NonSequitorSquirrel 5d ago
It's true tho if you die from the bacteria in raw milk you will no longer feel anxious.Ā
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u/TemporalCatcher 5d ago
I feel like people go for raw milk for the vibe of it being more natural. They should try non-homogenized milk; It gives off the vibe of raw milk, but isnāt dangerous. Essentially Iām saying they crave the cream separating from the liquid, which I heard has a richer flavor.
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u/xXEPSILON062Xx 5d ago
Smiling more often is proven to better your mood, but I have a feeling this guy hasnāt read much scientific literature.
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u/IndigoRose2022 5d ago
All 4 slides sound just like my ex church. They also regularly tried to be (extremely out of touch) influencers so yeah, Iām calling not satire š¤¦š»āāļø
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u/anime1245 5d ago
The first 3 is real stuff Iāve seen people say but that last one makes me think this is a joke
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u/meepPlayz11 5d ago
Me, who actually has anxiety issues:
Well, first, there is no hard scientific evidence to show that any sort of supernatural being exists or fails to exist, and until any such evidence emerges you have absolutely no right to influence my belief on the subject.
Secondly, I do not see the point in smiling, as it does not make me actually happy, it's the reverse.
Third, I'm worried that if I drink the raw dairy I might die a gruesome death from any number of various causes which are currently spooling through my mind right now.
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u/FoofieLeGoogoo 5d ago
Itās hard to feel anxious when youāre too busy exploding from both ends while suffering from a food borne illness after drinking raw dairy.
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u/ElusiveTruth42 5d ago
Is this that ultra-corny TikTok guy whoās always crying about Jesus for no reason?
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u/Feather_in_the_winds 5d ago
Religions have been promising false cures for thousands of years. They think it's fine to completely lie to people, as long as in the end - they convert religions.
They will lie, manipulate, coerce, and intimidate you to join their liar cult. They'll do anything they have to, because they're fucking nuts.
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u/nuphar_kaminsky 5d ago
Iām lactose intolerant so I will just be anxious and shitting my brains out
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u/CompetitiveCup7251 5d ago
Drink from this jug that says ānot for human consumptionā. Donāt worry. Youāll be fine. Youāll be fine. Youāll b
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u/itallsucks80 4d ago
God above all is such a cop out. We are living thinking beings. Make a decision for yourself instead of expecting some prayer into the wind to save you. These people are delusional
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u/Practical-Clock8820 4d ago
I was not prepared for that last one, yikes š¬my lactose intolerant ass is screaming š š
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u/The_Devil_Probably_ 3d ago
This is way too funny to be unironic š and to be clear I DON'T care that it's fake, thank you SO MUCH for bringing this to my attention it made my day
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u/Happy_Platypus_1882 4d ago edited 4d ago
This sub usually has a fine line between refusal to grow/heal, and utter ignorance of other peopleās struggles. This somehow goes so far to the right side of that line it ends up looping all the way to the left and then does 50 more laps for good measure, wtf do you mean drink raw dairy š
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u/InfiniteTree33 5d ago
It says not for human consumption right on the jug. š¤£š