The problem with someone that has ADHD (like me) is that if untreated, the likelyhood that they'll go to the gym on a regular schedule, or even be able to keep their place tidy isn't very high.
People get a kick out of watching me clean. When I worked in the restraunt business in college, my boss called me the Tasmanian devil. I would get all my cleaning tasks done but there was no method to the madness. I'd be halfway through a task and SQUIRREL start another.
I have ADHD as well, but my problem with this is that there are plenty of people without ADHD that have this same issue.
I honestly think that in the right enviroment, it can be overcome. Maybe you shouldn't just go to the gym - gyms are boring as fuck anyway.
For example, I want to do cardio, but I don't want to run on a treadmill. I have taken up ice skating with the hopes of playing hockey soon. This will hopefully help me fill these needs while doing something I enjoy at the same time.
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD for the first 20 years of my life. I believed I could do anything if I worked hard enough, but repeatedly it seemed like my hard enough wasn't good enough. I made good grades, graduated early, made it most of the way through college, got married, tried to balance everything. But no matter what I did, it was always too hard. I came up short. I knew I could do it, but at what cost? I was a mess- so stressed out, anxious, angry, exhausted. Panic attacks. Overwhelmed by normal every day things that shouldn't have been such a big deal. Grocery shopping seemed insurmountable. Folding laundry, just too much effort.
With my medication, it was like a light switched on. I'm able to do normal things like a normal person. Yes, technically I was surviving without. But I wasn't really living. I wasn't depressed, it didn't stem from anxiety, those were symptoms of a greater problem that medication helps me deal with in such a way that I can live a wonderful productive life without killing my self in the process.
"There's value in struggling for the first half of my life, developing horrific depression that will haunt me the rest of my life, struggling with suicide, and nearly losing my marriage."
You know what, sure. There's "value" in that.
Also, fuck that and fuck anybody who suggests I should be happy or grateful that I went though that. And absolutely fuck anybody who would intentionally put somebody else through that because "there's value in it." Because sometimes what you get isn't worth what you pay.
There's an argument to be made that kids with ADHD who are properly medicated are able to develops better coping skills because they didn't have to struggle so much through childhood. Not including the positive effects medication can have on a child's brain development.
I was incredibly lucky to have a mom who homeschooled me and made learning fun and interesting, but I know for a fact I would have done poorly in public school. There are such things as bad coping mechanisms, which are likely to develop if a kid has to struggle and fight their whole life.
Most people don't just overcome adversity. Adversity isn't a good thing. After the fact you can learn from it and grow, but there are much better ways to learn and I believe it's almost always better to avoid the adversity if possible (like taking medication) and growing in a way that doesn't have the potential to scar you for life.
Any way, medication doesn't make it easy. It's easier, sure, but it's not a magic pill that makes everything rainbows and unicorns. Day to day life is still a constant struggle, even with proper medication and treatment.
I see what you're saying - but that's one of the problems with this disease. Years of failing have taught you - objectively - that you won't be able to to do that task. It's a very large task to retrain that mentality. And it's all-encompassing. You fail at getting your homework done, at doing tasks around the house, at pretty much everything you need to do.
The reason it's not well received in this sub is because your comment reads as "well, have you considered trying harder" and that's what everybody here has heard several times in their life.
He believes there is a grand jewish-communist conspiracy within academia to undermine traditional values by spreading transexuality and marxist totalitarianism, ultimately destroying western society, steming from Frankfurt univeristy, which did have many marxist psychoanalysts that got deported by the nazis to the US.
Eg. 1930s nazi propaganda (Cultural Bolshevism and Degeneracy).
I agree with some of the stuff he states, he is a clever person, but being intelligent doesn't make you not-crazy.
He mentions it quite a lot in a few of his videos under the guise of attacking SJWs (with valid complaints) when in reality he is spreading something much more sinister (ironic for someone who is supposedly an expert on authouritarianism).
Does he every say specifically say Jewish? He focuses more on the marxist part of it. I agree with him that marxists are trying to destroy our culture because he points out well and I'm seeing it from the left constantly. The left tries to undermine so much of traditional values that it's just crazy
I haven't heard him talk of Jews specifically, no, and its possible he only believes the marxist side, but many of the other people he quotes who believe the same certainly have mentioned it.
The very idea of it is scarily close to literal nazi propaganda from the 30s and 40s, especially degeneracy. If you listen to most modern marxist scholars like Zizek and so one they also attack SJW's, who are for the most part not leftists but boring old liberals with no real economic theories other than "omg crony capitalism" (eg. occupy wallstreet), which ironically comes from the same groups that perpetuate cultural marxism.
Not to mention the philosophers attacking traditional values and so on considerably pre-date the frankfurt school. Despite Peterson claiming the anti-culture values are "authouritarian", most of these philosophers were actually anarchists, such as Max Stirner (1840s), who believed all forms of morality, ethical values, humanism, ideologies, religions and so on were all lies.
I haven't heard him talk of Jews specifically, no, and its possible he only believes the marxist side, but many of the other people he quotes who believe the same certainly have mentioned it.
He doesn't have to believe everything he quotes, I know I don't when I quote other people's works.
Peterson calls them authouritarians because they support government and it's attempts at changing our culture by force. (Like the bill C16 which forces people to use the pronouns people chose and is an attack on freedom of speech while changing our values to one of cultural marxism). All the people he talks about don't necessarily have to believe the same thing for him to notice a trend among them and talk about what he thinks is happening.
Forcing yourself to keep an organized external environment can reflect on your ability to keep an organized internal environment (mental/emotional), and can help reduce the impact of the surprises life will throw at you.
I have found that living in a mess means I can find things when I need them - or at least that's what I would tell myself. In reality I'd find what I was looking for only if I was lucky and it was on top of a pile, otherwise I'd never find it. If I force myself to organize my surroundings, slow my external self down and systematically go through the things one by one to organize them, I have a much better chance later of actually knowing where the thing is. I have to force myself to know when I put something down, because I'm purposefully taking over the action of putting it somewhere on purpose, for a real reason. Not just absentmindedly setting it down and losing track of it for three months.
Similarly, I have found meditation to be invaluable to ordering my internal self, and a lot of that is forcing myself to slow my thoughts down, looking at them one by one. If I just let my mind set them down on its own, I'll forget about them for three months too.
One of the best things I can do for myself is to simply slow down and be more purposeful about what I'm dong. One thing at a time, focusing, and refocusing, and refocusing, and refocusing, and then the room is clean, and all the screwdrivers are actually in the toolbox for when I need them. It takes effort, everyday practice, and a calm mindset - I could let myself be very frustrated at myself for being absent minded, but that doesn't actually help me. Instead, I direct that energy to focusing back on the task itself, instead of all the reasons why I suck as a person for failing to work on the task.
Actually doing it is the trick. It's not just easy, but inevitable that I'll get distracted and not finish organizing. If I got frustrated at myself for ever time I do that, I'd wind up in a ball on the floor. I have to practice being patient with myself, and just go back to organizing as soon as I realize I've lost focus. Speaking of which, I should be doing work right now. No worries; back to it!
This is exactly what I've been doing in the last months. If I can get my immediate surroundings fixed and get close to have a proper routine I might be able to without looking and worrying about the future head to where I feel that I must be.
Practice in making small routines. After you repeated it enough its on auto pilot and you dont have to think anout it. If thats too big a step. Then make a routine to shower every morning and brush your teeth. baby steps
So I will admit my first reply was very snarky and for that I apologize.
So this comment is not an attempt to be a troll or be outright sarcastic with you.
Practice in making small routines.
I did this for years before seeking professional help for anxiety, which led to my adhd diagnosis (im 33/f... many adult women get diagnosed after seeking help for anxiety issues).
I really wish it was this easy but part of having adhd is getting into routines you are not used to, without it being 100% forced on you, is damn near impossible. The only time I have ever been able to get into a completely different routine, without slipping out of it, was when I joined the Navy and had no choice but to alter my routine. But it was easy because they told us what our routine was and scheduled everything for us, so its not like you could really fuck it up that badly.
Now that Im in a salary position where I work from home 99% of the time, its especially hard to develop any sort of normal morning or evening routine that doesnt involve waking up 20 minutes before I have to log on. Not great when meds take an hour to kick in.
That said... between medication and a wonderful therapist I found in the last year I am starting with those baby steps. Im still a long way off from a reliable routine but I have only been able to get to that point with the help of medication and a therapist.
If you have adhd baby steps really is the answer, but many cannot even start that process without taking a giant leap to seek professional help. :(
So by simply saying "do these baby steps and it will help" without any other context or advice to seek professional help, it causes many in my position to roll our eyes and say "wow, if it were only that simple".
Our reaction is usually sarcastic because we have literally heard this from every adult in our lives growing up, or from our work colleges. "if you only tried a little harder", "If you would only focus and stop daydreaming", "if you would take it in small steps instead of giant leaps", ect. When you hear it your entire life it tends to wear on you.
It also doesnt help that our brains are literally wired to jump from point a to point z without looking at all the letters in between. This is why people like Richard Branson or Robin Hayes (Jetblue CEO) David Neeleman (JetBlue founder) can create a giant corporation but will wake up with their electricity shut off because they simply forgot about the bill being due (literally a story David Neeleman tells when talking about his adhd).
So when you tell me small steps I know you are thinking... ok, just wake up 15 minutes earlier for a week. Then once that is routine bump it up to 30 minutes. Once you are used to that add a shower into the mix. I know this and I know it will work if followed... but...
The problem lies with the fact that I know, down to the minute, what my morning routine should be... so when I try baby steps all I can feel is feel like shit because I KNOW what I need to do but doing it in small steps feels degrading, like Im stupid. So I start on monday with the full routine, which obviously doesnt last, which already makes me feel like shit, so I have this overwhelming aversion to "dumbing it down" so to speak.
Anyway, Ill shut up now and I hope you made it this far. Sorry for rambling.
No worries. I dont know what im talking about most of the time. I also been in the army briefly (hated the routines) and now work from home and struggle getting anything done. Im very good at avoiding stuff i have to do. I saw some jordan peterson videos and they struck a cord. I now think routines are the solution. Im trying to sort myself out. I think setting up small routines is a skill one can learn to get better at.
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u/Ycycycyvycb May 30 '17
Clean your room is a good start. Go to the gym.
Once you can keep your immediate enviornment and body in order and keep it from chaos you can move on to control more of your enviornment.