Practice in making small routines. After you repeated it enough its on auto pilot and you dont have to think anout it. If thats too big a step. Then make a routine to shower every morning and brush your teeth. baby steps
So I will admit my first reply was very snarky and for that I apologize.
So this comment is not an attempt to be a troll or be outright sarcastic with you.
Practice in making small routines.
I did this for years before seeking professional help for anxiety, which led to my adhd diagnosis (im 33/f... many adult women get diagnosed after seeking help for anxiety issues).
I really wish it was this easy but part of having adhd is getting into routines you are not used to, without it being 100% forced on you, is damn near impossible. The only time I have ever been able to get into a completely different routine, without slipping out of it, was when I joined the Navy and had no choice but to alter my routine. But it was easy because they told us what our routine was and scheduled everything for us, so its not like you could really fuck it up that badly.
Now that Im in a salary position where I work from home 99% of the time, its especially hard to develop any sort of normal morning or evening routine that doesnt involve waking up 20 minutes before I have to log on. Not great when meds take an hour to kick in.
That said... between medication and a wonderful therapist I found in the last year I am starting with those baby steps. Im still a long way off from a reliable routine but I have only been able to get to that point with the help of medication and a therapist.
If you have adhd baby steps really is the answer, but many cannot even start that process without taking a giant leap to seek professional help. :(
So by simply saying "do these baby steps and it will help" without any other context or advice to seek professional help, it causes many in my position to roll our eyes and say "wow, if it were only that simple".
Our reaction is usually sarcastic because we have literally heard this from every adult in our lives growing up, or from our work colleges. "if you only tried a little harder", "If you would only focus and stop daydreaming", "if you would take it in small steps instead of giant leaps", ect. When you hear it your entire life it tends to wear on you.
It also doesnt help that our brains are literally wired to jump from point a to point z without looking at all the letters in between. This is why people like Richard Branson or Robin Hayes (Jetblue CEO) David Neeleman (JetBlue founder) can create a giant corporation but will wake up with their electricity shut off because they simply forgot about the bill being due (literally a story David Neeleman tells when talking about his adhd).
So when you tell me small steps I know you are thinking... ok, just wake up 15 minutes earlier for a week. Then once that is routine bump it up to 30 minutes. Once you are used to that add a shower into the mix. I know this and I know it will work if followed... but...
The problem lies with the fact that I know, down to the minute, what my morning routine should be... so when I try baby steps all I can feel is feel like shit because I KNOW what I need to do but doing it in small steps feels degrading, like Im stupid. So I start on monday with the full routine, which obviously doesnt last, which already makes me feel like shit, so I have this overwhelming aversion to "dumbing it down" so to speak.
Anyway, Ill shut up now and I hope you made it this far. Sorry for rambling.
No worries. I dont know what im talking about most of the time. I also been in the army briefly (hated the routines) and now work from home and struggle getting anything done. Im very good at avoiding stuff i have to do. I saw some jordan peterson videos and they struck a cord. I now think routines are the solution. Im trying to sort myself out. I think setting up small routines is a skill one can learn to get better at.
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u/[deleted] May 30 '17
How can I fix it?