I'm not at all trying to be a dick here but those are exactly the feelings that lead me to get an ADHD diagnosis. Not caring almost feels good until said problem bites you in the arse.
If life is going well and you are happy then don't worry. If the tendencies you described are messing things up then maybe go get a test. My life is so much better now.
My life is going in the shitter but again, I'm not stressed about it.
And if the OP video is accurate, then I probably don't have ADHD specifically; he describes it as an inability to plan for and take action on the future. That is most certainly not what I have. I see the future, I make plans, but I don't carry them out.
It's a thing that can effect people very differently. His description is not definitive. I can make all the plans in the world but I can't act on them. You know what to do but you can't act on it? That IS what he said. To be fair, depression also causes that. Anyway I hope you get your life out the shitter before something bad enough to make you care happens. I don't want to be pushy. I don't know you :)
I feel these same ways, feelings of apathy, not stressed, knowing what I should be doing but just avoiding it with sleep or other activities. I got tested for adhd and even though I didn't like the person doing the test, a lot of the things they test for I did really well in... like being able to actually pay attention. That's not my problem.
I still don't feel stressed about stuff, not studying, being late for work... but I feel like I've developed some kind of ptsd that I know when shit finally hits the fan I'm gonna feel like absolute shit and hate myself for not caring before. So although I don't stress, I get super anxious about the shitty feeling I know I'm going to experience.
Exactly same thing here. I'm upset at myself for not caring . Sometimes it feels like my friends care more about my personal failures than I do myself.
This sounds so familiar. My ex-wife is always complaining "you would do it if you cared enough" or "if it was important enough". I do care, it is important...but there is some sort of, for lack of a better word, apathy. It's like I'm on the outside looking at myself, yelling at myself to do something, but can't make myself start.
My life is going in the shitter but again, I'm not stressed about it.
And if the OP video is accurate, then I probably don't have ADHD specifically; he describes it as an inability to plan for and take action on the future.
It's not an inability to plan; it's an inability to actually organize your behavior towards the future.
It's not an issue of lacking knowledge or understanding of organization and planning, it's lacking the self regulation to actually carry it out.
That is most certainly not what I have. I see the future, I make plans, but I don't carry them out.
What you are describing IS literally exactly what ADHD is.
His other videos make it much more clear - it may have been just a poor choice of words in this one. What you are describing is exactly as I've seen him describe it in several other videos.
I haven't seen the video yet (I know, I know) but it seems that commenters are getting stuck on a line that gives the message that people with ADHD can't plan for the future or don't think about it. I have budgets that literally have sub budgets I haven't stuck to, multiple business plans laid out, trips with family and friends planned in my head, conversations and emails planned out that never happen.
Yes everyone experiences some of this but if you do to the point where it negatively and consistently affects your life in all areas then there's likely something going on.
Yes everyone experiences some of this but if you do to the point where it negatively and consistently affects your life in all areas then there's likely something going on.
Yep. That's exactly the crux of the issue. He even says something almost exactly like that in one of his other videos.
The guy in the video is dead wrong. People with ADHD can plan for the future just fine. They have trouble carrying out those plans. I'm amazed this video made it to the top. It's bad information, pure and simple.
That is what he is saying. He definitely has a few conflicting sentences but his overall point was people with ADHD plan the same way as people without ADHD, they just don't carry out the plans (due to a fundamental disconnect between present and future).
What did you change? Did you get treatment, see a therapist, or what? The video and this comment describe me exactly. I'm a computer science student and I can read and understand code so well, but when I'm presented with a project and deadline I go blank and can't figure out how to apply my actual knowledge to the project unless I have someone talk me through it. Ultimately I wait until the day before it's due and write some shitty code and ask others for help and don't really care if I get a 0 or 100 because I know I can make up for it if I do better on the next project. I have an adderall prescription, which has helped me immensely just to listen in class and be able to study. But it hasn't really helped me put my knowledge together into actions I guess, if that makes sense. I also have a hard time making my self take my prescription because it makes me kind of irritable and I'll get a headache when it wears off.
tldr: Meds and a lot of learning. Try other meds maybe? /r/adhd The dude in the video has a book.
Meds are brilliant but it took a few tries to get the right ones. The first ones they gave me just left me stoned but I'm on Concerta now and it's the best. It doesn't change my personality or anything they just let me function. There are side effects but they got less annoying over time and mostly stopped after a few months.
I got senr to a support group which sucked because I could never get myself to meetings but I found /r/adhd instead and I got a book buy the guy in the video.
Basically, I became an ADHD nerd. Learned a lot about WHY I am how I am and that + meds helped a lot.
Edit: If you aren't already take your meds on a schedule not as and when. Make sure you eat and drink enough too. That makes a huge difference. I have reminders on my phone so I have a cup of tea and a snack as they are wearing off.
What about sleep? My biggest issue is I work shift work which already messes up how well I sleep. I have a prescription for dexedrine and it's helpful but I find sleeping becomes even more difficult. Eventually I'm so exhausted even dexedrine doesn't help me focus and I'm just zombied.
Concerta did not work for me at all, it made me stoned and caused excessive eye blinking.
/r/adhd is good and the guy in the video wrote a book you might want to check out.
I got prescribed meds right away but it took a while to find the ones that work for me. Completely worth it but you need to a) take them on a schedule and b) combine meds with a bit of research.
A lot of people do well with just some research and changing habits but I needed the meds to make changing habits possible.
Edit: also, adhd is a lifelong thing. You don't beat it so much as learn to work with yourself and understand what you need in order to manage life properly. It's not as impossible as it sounds, promise.
Me and my wife's 16-year-old son was diagnosed ADHD roughly 10 years ago and we've had Dr. Barkley's book since. It's been our "bible" in helping to guide him and us through the ups and downs...
The video, which I discovered a while back, is amazing. It furthers the book by offering the "machanics" of of the condition.
And yes, a shout out to Reddit's ADHD sub. (I'm fairly new to Reddit and was happy to stumble across it...)
I'm curious what made your life so much better after the diagnosis. Is it just knowing for sure? Or the meds that are helping? Or is it something else?
The meds help a huge amount but the ability to understand myself has been incredible. It's not a wishy-washy diagnosis. It's a very well researched topic and although everyone IS different we are also pretty similar. I'm not mysteriously broken, I have a well understood and predictable thing. Knowledge really is power.
The other thing is being able to get help from people with the same problems. Say I struggle with doing laundry. So I look on an adhd forum for other people who used to struggle with laundry. Now I know how to make laundry less impossible and my clothes are both clean and dry! Anyone could have told me how to do laundry but not anyone could have given me the tiny extra tips that make it easy and possible to follow the basic doing laundry instructions.
I don't worry about things either... until I start worrying about them. For me, planning and preparing causes anxiety, so avoidance relieves my worries until the shit hits the fan. Then I go into stress overdrive.
That is also me. I'm learning to recognise when I'm doing that and sort of... stress about my lack of stress? That seems to work. "Shit, I am not worrying about this clearly important thing. This means I better fucking get on it!" Yoir mileage may vary.
It's a pretty well designed book and the trick is that it's easy to concentrate on things that interest you. I also chew gum while reading which helps.
Medication and I did a bunch of research. No therapy, that's less of a thing in the UK, but found some supportive places online. I have a local support group too but I've never been. They seem cool though.
Serious question:
I recognized myself in that video and so clicked the link to the 21-question "Test for adult ADHD" in the description.
I answered yes to about 17-18 of the questions but I felt like a lot of the things are quite common traits that a lot of people could answer yes to.
Not really sure what my question is... I guess I'm just trying to figure out if I actually might have a problem or just exaggerating my problems. So any tips/comments to this would be welcome!
Everyone has some ADHD traits but the difference is whether those traits are impacting your life, holding you back or making you miserable for chunks of time.
Think about how your actual life is effected. Bills? Confidence? Relationships? Work? Anxiety? Health? Are you stressed or unhappy a lot? Are you failing a lot even though you think you should be able to succeed? If yes, go get checked.
If you don't want to/can't go get checked then look into /r/adhd and the youtube series How To ADHD. Try some of the strategies that those people use. You might find that you can sort some shit out yourself without getting a diagnosis.
It's also worth noting that if you have friends and family who are similar to you then shit can seem normal when it isn't so much.
I've always had a hard time concentrating, but being smart and good att performing right before deadlines has gotten me through school quite well anyway. It's much harder now with a job though, since I basically have to focus every day.
A lot of the stuff you enumerated definately effect my life a lot (unhappiness, confidence, anxiety etc), it's just hard to know if it is worse for me than for other people, since you only know your own thoughts..
I see where you are coming from but I don't think that's a good measure. Lots of people are miserable and not doing very well. That doesn't mean you should be too.
Say you have ADHD (or depression or OCD or you are an alcoholic or whatever) and don't really know. You feel crap and/or are failing a lot and you want to do better but you are surrounded by people with the same problem. You all look at each other and think this is just how life is so none of you get help.
ADHD especially runs in families and you are likely to attract friends who are similar to you. If you've got problems that feel like problems then you should get on dealing with those with or without a doctor and if that doesn't work/isn't working then that's why we have the NHS. Getting the right diagnosis can be a pain but worth it if there is something there.
That's just what I think. I'm biased in that I very much wish I was diagnosed earlier as does my friend.
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u/thatlookslikeavulva May 30 '17 edited May 31 '17
I'm not at all trying to be a dick here but those are exactly the feelings that lead me to get an ADHD diagnosis. Not caring almost feels good until said problem bites you in the arse.
If life is going well and you are happy then don't worry. If the tendencies you described are messing things up then maybe go get a test. My life is so much better now.
Edit:
Shoutout to /r/adhd!
Also, video dude wrote a book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
Edit 2:
Here is an informative and adorable video for anyone unsure if they have ADHD. It's great. Go watch it. https://youtu.be/cx13a2-unjE