r/videos May 30 '17

This guy's presentation on ADHD is excellent

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JowPOqRmxNs
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u/[deleted] May 30 '17

This is exactly how my ex was too. He had really bad ADHD and I didn't realize it would have an impact on the relationship when he mentioned he had it.

He would hold off on school work until the last minute and, on top of constantly being stressed, he would have no time for me because he would wait to do everything during the only times we could actually see each other. He would spend one full day making one little poster I could finish in 15 minutes. He would always forget about my birthday and holidays. He would repeat the same things I told him, as if I never said them to begin with. He would tell me the same interesting and unusual facts over and over again. If he managed to get engrossed in something then all of his time was directed at that one thing, and he would spout out random stuff about it constantly. He was always freaking out about the future but would do nothing about it.

I was always there to help him with the stress, anger, and hard times. And he let me go regardless of me sticking with him through how bad his ADHD really was.

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u/platypocalypse May 30 '17

I've been on the other side of this exact relationship. This was heartbreaking to read.

The relationship ended semi-mutually due to problems related to an international border that ultimately made living together impossible. But, when we did live together, my problems strongly contributed to our problems.

I'm almost 30 and I still can't do the necessary things to start a career going.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '17

I'm sorry about that.

He said I deserved much more, but he later admitted he broke it off for selfish reasons. A relationship was just too much for him to handle since he struggled to just handle daily tasks. My friends always said I was the most patient and forgiving person though, so I never understood how I could have added stress when I thought I was eliminating it. I did all I could, but I hope he is able to find someone as patient again.

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u/blackhp2 May 30 '17

It adds stress because we know the things we do hurt you, and if we love you, stressing out about what we might do to you just compounds the rest of the stress, even if we know you won't mind or be supportive etc. A lot of the stress comes from overthinking and hypothetical situations

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u/[deleted] May 30 '17

Yea he did think he was making me miserable. And the overthinking and hypothetical situations are bringing back some memories. It makes a lot more sense now knowing his ADHD played a huge part in everything that went wrong.

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u/platypocalypse May 30 '17

He probably stressed himself out thinking that he was a burden on you with his problems.