We should start a club, where we fix all our problems and cope with stuff, and motivate each other... I have it all planned out it's gonna be great, I've even made most of a mind map detailing exactly how it should look.. I'm on Reddit right now, but after that's done I'll get to it later..
(This is a joke meant to be funny, but so painfully true and the same cycle I've been on for years.. it's almost a cosmic joke that I've/we've got the abilities and wherewithal but somehow don't follow through.. worst part is in those panicked moments we HAVE created objectively awesome stuff and that's how we've gotten by and KNOW we can do it. But it takes a crisis or deadline to sit down and finish.)
I completely understand that feeling he mentions of "I know I should do this, I know it's gonna suck if I don't do this now. But then still don't do it. I always figured that once I identified the 'inaction' it would be easy to correct, but it's weirdly not enough.
I imagine it's kind of akin to hard drug users who watch themselves making the bad choice, know it's bad but do it anyways.. except when I watch myself do it my payoff isn't even an awesome drug trip, it's just a bit of time on reddit, or YouTube, or tv, or "fapping".. don't get me wrong I love those things, but it's totally not worth the hassle later and I Know that, and yet I do it. (Even this very second I'm supposed to be working on my resume and LinkedIn, huge consequences, but here I am spending a few extra min to write this out... and for what? Lol... not lol..
It would be a bloody miracle if i ever manage to read all the articles and stuff i have opened in (~100) separate tabs. Some have been there for weeks or months, since the last time i lost my browser session...
I get about 3 paragraphs or so into one, and then can't focus on it anymore and switch to something else. By the time I get back to it I usually have to start over and the cycle continues.
I used to be able to focus on things for hours. I can't seem to do that anymore. Haven't been able to for at least the last 8-10 years. Not sure if it's some form of ADHD or something else altogether. I just wish I could focus again.
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u/yolk_ May 30 '17
This is so me as well.