This sounds like me to a T. If there is something I TRULY want to work on, I will be laser focused, but otherwise my brain is all over the place. No wonder I always have 8 instances of chrome open at a time with 40 tabs each. When I go back through them I just think to myself, how the fuck did I get from landscaping to the best southern bbq rib rub.
Maybe I should go see a doctor and get something for this. I always just feel like I'll be dismissed rather than have the doctor actually consider I may actually have ADHD.
I couldn't focus worth a shit in university unless it was a subject I cared about. I leave work until the last minute even though I know better than that by now (I'm 35 now). And I can't sit down and read a book because 10 pages in I realize I haven't been paying attention to the book because my mind is elsewhere but my eyes just kept on going.
ADHD doesn't just mean you "can't pay attention." You could actually be more prone to hyperfocusing on the things you "like", becoming absorbed and then burned out by them in a short amount of time.
But that's such a generic feeling. Like it's so prevalent that it might as well just be a cognitive personality style for people. It's like a personality paradox.
I've always seen mental faculties like a river that's always going to take the path of least resistance while being consistent. It's in flux, and they aren't all quite the same.
Mental illness, comparatively, would be an interruption, stagnation, or pollution of the stream.
If the river flows east, and you want to sail north, the problem might not be the river.
But if the river is dead, runs dry, or teeming with filth then something's wrong.
ADHD has always struck me as an issue in the former scenario, largely, but not entirely.
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u/crwilso6 May 30 '17
My horse is amazing, performs like a fucking champion...only when he's interested in the task.
Otherwise my horse is a real ass.