r/wizardposting • u/Kektus_Aplha Wizard, great connoisseur of cheese • Jan 28 '25

Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) When the lvl 5 fighter shit talks the local frost mage and learns a valuable lesson about ice magic

2.9k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

47 comments sorted by

339

u/Safe_Ad_6403 Necromancer Jan 28 '25

Sir, that is not a level 1 anything, nvm a level 5 fighter...

142

u/Kektus_Aplha Wizard, great connoisseur of cheese Jan 28 '25

Sounds like something a level 5 fighter would say

43

u/AretinNesser Omnimancer (master of all arts and elements) Jan 28 '25

Nah, If they were a fighter, they'd sound like the guy in the video scrying projection. Brain damage from concussions accumulates.

22

u/AverageCapybas Archmage Ozymandias, Bane of Akyishigal and Cockroaches Jan 28 '25

Nah bro, the statblock says "Challenge Rating ⅛ Crackhead".

That shit aint even playable.

2

u/Conflicted-King Feb 03 '25

Level 5 crackhead

1

u/rossbcobb Feb 10 '25

Which is actually just a multiclass between a cleric and a artificer.

172

u/AvoriazInSummer Jan 28 '25 edited Jan 28 '25

At least he got to leave with his dignity intact…

104

u/Kektus_Aplha Wizard, great connoisseur of cheese Jan 28 '25

with his pants down? well I don't know about that

93

u/AvoriazInSummer Jan 28 '25

And screaming incoherently while scrambling and slipping backwards? Come on, dignity preserved, end of.

38

u/DaArkOFDOOM Jan 28 '25

Blragahahhahahhbahgggfll

13

u/Fast_Freddy07 Jan 29 '25

I think the fighter was either on some weird elixir or drank too much at the tavern.

This could explain why he thought it was a good idea to pick a fight with the Ice Mage and why he was blabbering incoherently.

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '25

Black people always prepared to take a shit.

2

u/i_was_axiom Feb 01 '25

The dignity:

62

u/SungamCorben Jan 28 '25 edited Jan 28 '25

Did he said "Konichiwa"?

57

u/Kektus_Aplha Wizard, great connoisseur of cheese Jan 28 '25

Power word:konichiwa

7

u/RathianColdblood Loruk Forgestone, Dwarven Dhampir Jan 29 '25

Since the purpose of a power word is to make something happen, and the purpose of a greeting is to greet someone, does that mean that technically every greeting is a power word? Why is the most fundamentally destructive magic always discovered by buffoons, the insane, and the intoxicated?

42

u/terrletwine Jan 28 '25

Frost bolt is a slow cast, but if you fail the interrupt…

39

u/madame_gaymes Magically Editable Flair Jan 29 '25

Oh to be a young frost mage again, when my water would get hard

53

u/Slurms_McKensei Jan 28 '25

He's responding like a bougie toddler who got spanked by grand-mum

18

u/DaniTheGunsmith Misanthropic Weapon Artificer Jan 29 '25

Always gotta love the power move of tossing them stuff they dropped XD "Get outta here and take your shit with you!"

8

u/918cyd Jan 29 '25

The entertainment value in those eight seconds is ridiculous.

2

u/Kektus_Aplha Wizard, great connoisseur of cheese Jan 29 '25

Well it was the most epic battle of the century

4

u/mr_0verd0se Jan 29 '25

That's a sound a Murloc would make. Hilarious.

3

u/whitehammer1998 Jan 29 '25

Dude was making the same noises I make when I stub my toe

3

u/Positive_Carpenter40 Jan 29 '25

That Ooooowaaaarrgghhh sound he makes is just funny evertime I listen 😆

2

u/Affectionate-Pin-939 Jan 29 '25

Direct hit. Thats just perfect

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '25

What a dramatic bitch

2

u/BillBrasky3131 Jan 30 '25

The ice should help with the swelling!!!!hahaha

2

u/Frequent_Funny3784 Jan 30 '25

It's almost as good as pocket sand!!!

1

u/Kektus_Aplha Wizard, great connoisseur of cheese Jan 30 '25

Yeah ice mages tend to walk around with a block of ice in their pockets so better be careful.

2

u/Theimpostorofskeld Jan 31 '25

Frost mages have the ability intimidate aswell, that crackhead fighter had -1 attack anyway

2

u/One_Mongoose4592 Feb 01 '25

Falling lost so much aura

2

u/Link4Zpros Feb 07 '25

This is why we multi-class Or go dual blades+dex+fancy footwork Or both

2

u/Educational_Fox_1048 Feb 14 '25

Did he hit him with an ice block?

1

u/Dense_Example_7948 Jan 29 '25

Wtf happened

5

u/Kektus_Aplha Wizard, great connoisseur of cheese Jan 29 '25

The low level crackhead fighter was acting tough until the frost mage hit him with a bolt of ice.

1

u/MrCSeesYou Jan 30 '25

One bag? That'll be $4.04 with tax.

1

u/sigmistically Jan 31 '25

When you get hit with a milk of immediate agony and pain

1

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

This entire video seems very real.

1

u/The_Whackest 25d ago

WHO LOVES ORANGE SODA?!?!

-20

u/RhysOSD Jan 28 '25

Sorta feel bad. That's gotta hurt something fierce

46

u/abcdthc Jan 28 '25

It stings but skulls ar much harder than snowballs. Thats didnt look like a very solid chunk of ice.

Actually, i thought the "snowball" exploded but it didnt, it bounced and went to his left. Yeah that might have fucked him up.

32

u/AnAngryPlatypus Jan 28 '25

uw/ Agreed, I have no sympathy for him; but I’ve worked with those sliding door freezers to know that was a ball of hard shards of ice.

There is probably a German word for “I have no sympathy for you but seeing what happened to you made me wince because I felt the pain of my past self.”

14

u/Guy-McDo Jan 28 '25

Kinda like “disproportionate retaliation”?

2

u/saladman425 Jan 29 '25

To be fair we don't know if it's disproportionate. The guy who caught an iceball to the dome could've been doing literally anything before the video starts