r/wizardposting Jan 30 '25

PSA: Manipulation and Abuse in RP Communities

208 Upvotes

Whether you’re posting memes or lore, wizardposting is all about stepping into a character and connecting with others. It’s a creative, collaborative space where people of all ages and experiences can interact. However, some misuse the casual vibe to cross boundaries, guilt-trip others, or hide mean-spirited comments behind jokes. While in-character antics are fine when everyone’s on the same page, problems arise when manipulation crosses into real-life interactions. This behavior can leave people feeling uncomfortable, excluded, or even hurt, impacting their mental health. If left unchecked, it can create toxic dynamics, make the community unsafe, and/or make it feel unwelcoming. Spotting real manipulation can be tricky. It could be a player steering the narrative for their own benefit at the expense of others, or someone crossing personal boundaries under the guise of “just playing a character”. But by learning to recognize these behaviors, you can help keep your experience fun, respectful, and drama-free.

How to Spot Manipulation

Toxic people are known for their manipulation tactics. These tactics can take many forms. Some people are consciously cunning and deceiving. Some are more primitive and blunt. Still others use passive-aggression, such as guilt-tripping, shaming, or saying what you or others want to hear. Others don't mind using direct force or threats while others may appear as caring and concerned. What each of these types have in common tends to be trying to meet their own needs by attempting to control another person. If you're being manipulated by someone, they're trying to control how you act and take away your ability to think for yourself. This tactic can affect not only your relationship with them, but your relationships with others and your mental health. (WebMD: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-manipulation ) This is not to say that ALL people that act caring are tricking you, or that anyone angry at you is bullying you. The problem comes when something is done in an insincere manner, or when it comes at the expense of your mental health, or done with the intent of tricking you, or making you feel “lesser than” while making them shine. Whether consciously or not, manipulators tend to prey on the instincts of people. You're more likely to be manipulated if you:

  • Are a people pleaser and like to make others happy
  • Seek others' approval
  • Often find yourself saying yes, when you want to say no
  • Easily see the best in people
  • Tend to want to stay in relationships, even if you're unhappy in them

Note, the above aren’t necessarily bad traits. But manipulators try to take advantage of those attributes, using your guilt, or compassion, or even your concern for others to overstep your boundaries and do what they want.

Guilt and Sympathy

For example, guilt is an emotion that many people easily feel. Manipulators tend to prey on this sensitivity. They know that making you feel bad makes them more likely to get what they want. If someone is trying to use your guilt against you, they may say things like, “After everything I’ve done for you, you can’t even do this one thing?”, or “If something bad happens to me, it's because of you.” What they're really saying is: "I want to make you feel indebted to me". By framing their request(s) as a small favor compared to their supposed sacrifices, they aim to pressure you into compliance. Or, rather than addressing their own issues, they externalize blame, making you the scapegoat for any negative outcomes in their life. Some other common phrases are: “Do you really want to ruin [things] over something so small?" which is placing the burden on you, because calling them out is ruining things. “I’m just a terrible person” is common too, along with the expectation that you need to drop any matters you might have to reassure them, playing on your guilt for making them feel bad.

Playing the Victim

Along those lines, playing at being helpless or unfairly treated is another method of gaining sympathy and control. While it’s natural to want or need help from your social group, the problem occurs when people treat understanding and excuses as the same thing. If someone is looking for genuine understanding, they allow for responsibility to be acknowledged, and the situation to be explored and understood so that it isn’t repeated. Or they ask directly for support without guilt-tripping or expecting others to fix the situation. A healthy way of phrasing this might be: “I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and could use some support right now. I don’t want to burden you, but it would mean a lot if you could listen.” When someone is making excuses (either for themselves or others), they defer accountability and deny responsibility. "It just happened", "Nobody's perfect", "Let's not dwell on the past", "Other people don’t have a problem with me—why do you?" Making excuses is a form of deception because it distorts reality to avoid facing the truth or being uncomfortable.

Excessive Flattery or Gifts

This might seem counter-intuitive. What's wrong with gifts? Sometimes, gifts come with strings. Manipulators (especially groomers) want to create a sense of specialness. They might excessively compliment their victims, making them feel uniquely valued or cherished. For example, they might say, “You’re the only one who truly understands me” or “I’ve never met anyone as talented as you.” The flattery works to lower defenses, making the target feel good about themselves and less likely to question the groomer’s intentions. This creates a bond, where the target begins to seek validation from the manipulator.

Secret-keeping (and reveal of secrets)

Sharing seemingly personal or sensitive information (or asking it in return) is a way for a manipulator to create a false sense of closeness or trust. Not only does it give the manipulator leverage, but it adds a layer of connectedness. An "Us vs. Them" dynamic, isolating the target from others. It also normalizes boundary violations. If it's private, no one can call out the weirdness. The problem is that the manipulator tends to hold the “upper hand” by controlling the flow of information and emotions. It's not really authentic at all. This is not a comprehensive list by any means, but I hope this hits the biggest ones. The problem is, however, that manipulation can be subtle. It can often be played off as "just being nice". But when they begin projecting heavily, not taking responsibility for their actions, blaming others or external events for anything that goes wrong, and distorting reality (often referred to as gaslighting), it can affect your own mental health and leave you questioning what went wrong. Recognizing the signs of manipulation can protect your well-being.

Warning Signs

  • Over-the-top compliments or attention that seem too good to be true.
  • Requests to keep interactions or topics private, especially when they seem unnecessary.
  • A sense of exclusivity or being “singled out” in a way that isolates you from others.

A manipulator might back off initially if you establish clear, non-negotiable boundaries. However, they could also test those boundaries later to see if they can regain control. People who use manipulation are often opportunistic. If they see you’re no longer susceptible to their behavior, they might move on to someone they perceive as more vulnerable. Your consistency, self-awareness, and support network are key to maintaining your well-being. A person who cares about you will respect your boundaries. Once they know your boundaries, they honor them consistently without needing constant reminders. They take your boundaries seriously and don’t test them. They don’t take your boundaries as an attack or overreact emotionally. When someone values you, they prioritize your well-being and respect your autonomy.


r/wizardposting Jan 17 '25

Post From the All-Knowing Mods Flair Update

44 Upvotes

Hello everyone. First, I’d like to thank the mod team for selecting me. I’m happy to be here and will do my best to keep the community a safe and enjoyable space.

 

On flairs: After listening to community suggestions, we’ve trimmed and condensed the flair list. We’ve also added new flairs. Holy Decree (cleric themed), Druidic Mysteries, and an RP flair for posts that don’t quite fall into the lore category.

 

Thanks again, and if you have any questions feel free to let me know.


r/wizardposting 17h ago

Wizardpost Artificer turned Cleric learns decay is inevitable.

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4.1k Upvotes

r/wizardposting 3h ago

Behold the power of linguistics!

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181 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 21h ago

Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets Out of Character Post - What wizard games would you recommend?

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1.5k Upvotes

A while ago I asked for wizard movies, which I am still slowly watching. Finished the Last Unicorn few months ago and need to look at the list again later to watch another movie. I'll make a tier list of the movies once I watch them all. But I also really like wizard games and am looking to play more. Im talking about the games on emulators and indie games no one has heard about. You are welcome to suggest popular/mainstream wizard games but just be aware I most likely already have a few hundred hours in each one of those, lol.


r/wizardposting 18h ago

Foul Sorcery Neigh

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812 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 17h ago

Occult Practices Some of you seem to ignore every single one.

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373 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 1d ago

Foul Sorcery I have infiltrated your ranks without you noticing!!!!!!

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3.1k Upvotes

r/wizardposting 12h ago

My man found his grandpa's spell books

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51 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 1d ago

Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) Who let the pyromancers and artificers work together because I owe them a drink

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1.9k Upvotes

r/wizardposting 7h ago

A recreation of the popular TikTok or short

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15 Upvotes

I declare wizard war


r/wizardposting 21h ago

Friendly reminder to properly seal your jars of fairies and various other whimsical forest spirits

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179 Upvotes

Local dwarves were not happy


r/wizardposting 9h ago

Require assistance to be more wizardly

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15 Upvotes

My Spire mate has shown me up in the department of posters, using magic related to planes and battleships. I need to have more posters of my wizarding prowess, as I have earned my wizards hat recently. I will print anything related to wizarding, spells, transfiguration, and maybe even a hex or two to hang up. I will make my bed, I just have to do some more divinations. My goal is to have no more brick left to see


r/wizardposting 3h ago

Help! My orb is only showing me street view

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6 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 16h ago

Wizardpost How do I brew Twisted Tea?

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56 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 17h ago

Wizardpost When I get out of here, I'm turning him into a newt.

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61 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 18h ago

Who thought it would be a good idea to summon an Arch Demon?

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67 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 8h ago

Lorepost (open interaction) 📖 All's Well that Ends well. (Fluffco)

8 Upvotes

Flufferson sits on a bench.

Geralt: You okay, Fluff?

Flufferson: You ever get a REAL bad hangover?

Geralt: I don't drink that much.

Flufferson: I feel like I have one of those. For context, it's awful.

Geralt: I mean, you got stabbed.

Envy: Oh, holy weapons heal.

Geralt: What?

Envy: Holy weapons heal mortals. They can't kill.

Geralt: So...I got healed, nothing. Fluff got healed...She is hungover.

Envy: Ms. F-flufferson...Do you do cra-

Flufferson: NO! ...Does manastones fall under that?

Envy: Y-Yes? You shouldn't be using those, tho-

Flufferson: I ate them.

Envy: W-what?

Flufferson: I ate the manastones, and I got magic. from them

Envy: ...I guess it healed that, then.

Flufferson: God bloody damnit.

Geralt: So...You have no magic now, sis?

Flufferson: I still have my amu-...Where is it.

Oni, covered in blood: Panting I have it. *Holding Fluff's amulet.

Geralt: BROTHER!

Flufferson: ONI!

Geralt and Flufferson hug Oni.

Oni: You owe me BTS tickets, btw. Throwing that out there.

Geralt: That's fine, brother. Just not this week. I have a meeting with our interns.

Oni: ...You want me to throw you back in the Penguinfantry prison myself-

Geralt: This week.


r/wizardposting 20h ago

Community Event 🌏☄️ Pizza Time

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55 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 1d ago

Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets If I use only bones/flesh to build a construct (as an artificer) am a still an artificer or am I now a necromancer

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463 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 1d ago

Magickal Art (User Creation) 🎨 FRIDAY NIGHT: WELCOME TO WIZARDS EMPORIUM! HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

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68 Upvotes

On our todays catalog we have:

  • Apple watch: tells you the time and tastes delicious. 900 gold

  • Funeral Kazoo: Why do i even have this? 40 gold

  • Cheese printer: Buy it Before Erik does

  • Unicorn meat: Perfect for every dish that requires meat 20 gold per can.

  • Skibidi elk: Wtf, I need to get rid of this crap. Free

  • Emotional support shoe: One of this helped me throughout tough times 100 gold.

-Unga shoes: Unga shoes. 99999999999 gold.


r/wizardposting 1d ago

Which one of the other idiots let their space whale out? You all know the rules about galactic beasts

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521 Upvotes

r/wizardposting 16h ago

Magickal Art (User Creation) 🎨 Safety Wizard

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14 Upvotes

Some of us are known for disregarding all forms of safety. But one wizard is taking it seriously.


r/wizardposting 2d ago

Magi Law ⚖ Never letting knights near my woods again

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4.6k Upvotes

r/wizardposting 1d ago

More than one way to understand reality goes brrrt

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3.0k Upvotes

r/wizardposting 18h ago

Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets Evocation-The Path

15 Upvotes

The room crackles with subtle energy as Aldin steps forward, his golden eyes burning with intensity. His commanding presence fills the space, his voice resonating with both gravity and excitement.

"Evocation. Among the Paths of Magic, it is the most visceral, the most explosive, and perhaps the most awe-inspiring. It is the art of harnessing raw mana, bending the very essence of magic to your will to create fire, lightning, ice, force, among other things. I must stress this point—Evocation is not the summoning of elements. It is the creation of power, drawn directly from your connection to the flow of magic itself."

He extends a hand, and a shimmering orb of crackling energy bursts into being above his palm. It pulses with light before dissipating into harmless sparks.

"This Path calls to those who crave action, who thrive on decisiveness. It is the hammer of magic, used to shatter barriers, destroy foes, and shape the battlefield. But do not mistake Evocation for recklessness. True mastery lies not in destruction for its own sake, but in precision. Any fool can ignite a fire, but it takes an Evoker to wield that fire with purpose, to channel it into a tool of transformation."

He begins to pace, gesturing as he speaks, his words brimming with passion.

"Consider the elemental forces at your disposal—fire to consume, lightning to strike, ice to preserve, and force to reshape. Each is a piece of the endless puzzle, and your task as an Evoker is to harness them with skill and intent. A fireball unleashed without control can devastate not just your enemies, but your allies as well. A thunderclap poorly aimed can collapse a structure you meant to protect. This is why I tell you, time and again: raw power without focus is chaos."

Aldin stops and fixes the students with a piercing gaze, his tone softening, but no less intense.

"But beyond the destructive potential of Evocation lies its beauty. When wielded with care, it is a force of creation as much as it is one of destruction. The fire that razes can also warm; the lightning that devastates can illuminate; the force that shatters can also defend. To be an Evoker is to dance on the edge of chaos, to balance power and purpose."

With another flick of his wrist, Aldin conjures a surge of flame that arcs into a fiery phoenix before dissipating into embers.

"And now, let us address something that often tempts novice Evokers—arrogance. The sheer impact of your spells may tempt you to act without thought, to overwhelm without strategy. Resist this urge. Remember that Evocation is not a display of might—it is an extension of your will, your intent. Your power must serve your purpose, not the other way around."

Aldin steps back, his voice carrying a final note of caution.

"Evocation is a Path that demands discipline and restraint, for the power you wield is immense, and its consequences are far-reaching. Respect it, master it, and it will become more than a weapon—it will become a part of who you are, an instrument of change, of protection, of transformation."

He bows his head slightly, his golden eyes scanning the faces of his students.

"Go, and ignite your world—but remember, my students: a fire uncontrolled burns all it touches, and an Evoker without focus is more dangerous to themselves than to their foes. Master the storm, and you will become its eye."

With those words, Aldin turns and leaves the podium, leaving behind an air charged with anticipation and awe.


r/wizardposting 14h ago

Lorepost 📜 Learning kitsune fire.

4 Upvotes

(Short continuation on last lorepost, made this one on schedule too, hopefully soon will get time to make longer one.)

After a while of Lady Ginrei had approved of Oka's apprentice, she would've been patient with Kohaku, teaching her self-defense and combat before she could teach her to controll her kitsune powers, but Kohaku already wanted to learn to controll her kitsune magic. Oka hsd found it endearing for such young kitsune to be so dedicated and eager to learn new things, such as training to use a spear in active combat, however Oka taught her to use it if her powers are equal to her opponent..

"But master, couldnt I try be cunning and trick them?"

Kohaku had asked Oka, the innocence in her eyes told Oka many things about Kohaku's knowledge.

"Dear, that is risky and dangerous for a young kit like yourself, expect your opponent to expect your movement, use your magic to disorient them to gain momentary advantage. But your still young and have a lot to learn, Kohaku."

Oka spoke softly as she ruffled Kohaku's hair, her smile filled with affection for her.

"..."

Kohaku would've nodded to Oka, understanding the danger in her thought process as Oka would've set aside their wooden staffs to lean against onsen wall.

"I'll teach you kitsune fire, come."

Oka would've spoken lightly as she gestured Kohaku to follow her into the onsen building, so Kohaku followed her master into the kitchen and to a wood fueled stove.

"Watch."

Oka said as she extended her hands toward the wood beneath and focused, closing her eyes as a moment passed, a fire lit the the wood in the stove, Kohaku would've looked amazed and excited.

"Master, thats so amazing! But why teach me kitsune fire now?"

Kohaku asked little confused as she looked at her master. Oka would've gently chuckled before responding with a warm smile.

"Patience Kohaku, patience and maybe I will teach you more and manners of a kitsune."