r/wizardposting • u/TheOnlyWolvie Your Friendly Fox Mage Neighbor đŠ • Feb 22 '25
Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets Is this accurate?
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u/YonderNotThither Metalomancer of no repute, dabbling necormancer Feb 22 '25
Unfortunately, unlike with fae, you can not ward yourself with Iron or sell the souls and babies of your enemies to customers as you can with Fae.
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u/LilGhostSoru Feb 23 '25
You can chase them off with iron, but throwing knifes at customers creates even more problems
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u/Snip3 Feb 24 '25
I'm like 95% sure that second thing still works-have you tried it?
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u/YonderNotThither Metalomancer of no repute, dabbling necormancer Feb 24 '25
I have only worked retail as a volunteer, and never as an employee. I had certain protections against the dreaded customer.
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u/TorumShardal Feb 24 '25
If you have 9mm iron on your belt, it will ward off some of them.
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u/ZestycloseMagazine35 Feb 25 '25
I found that having a KA-BAR on my hip was more effective than my 1911.
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u/TorumShardal Feb 25 '25
Against humans? Maybe. But, unless your knife is made out of cold iron and not out of steel, it will be less effective against fae folk.
I wasn't been able to test this, but I believe "iron" (colloquially known as "gun") would be much more effective against rules-, concept- and bullshit- based creatures such as fae.
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u/Classic-Log-1178 Necromancer and local dealer of illicite crystals and wand mods Feb 22 '25
By this logic Karen's are arch-Fae .... but specifically the weird annoying ones from German fairy tales
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u/PonyDro1d Artificer Feb 22 '25
So, a Karin. German version of Karen.
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u/Drake_the_troll southern swamp troll- council archivist and occasional taxman Feb 23 '25
Is there anything the germans don't have a specific name for?
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u/josh183rd Kinetic-cursemancer and part-time Parrymancer Feb 23 '25
There's probably a word for that
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u/Fghsses Feb 23 '25
Germans don't have a specific word for "defenestration"
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u/Impenistan Feb 23 '25
This is not correct: Fenstersturz
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u/Red_Tinda Feb 23 '25
I love compound words :)))
I'm familiar with fenster, but what did sturz mean? Falling?
I'm considering what this might be in Swedish. Fönsterfall doesn't capture the "being thrown out" aspect. Fönsterurkastning? Nonsense.
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u/Impenistan Feb 23 '25
Yes, window (Fenster) + fall (Sturz). Fenster is likely the root word for window in the word "defenestration" to begin with.
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u/combat_princess Feb 23 '25
it comes from a latin root meaning window, so they share the same root rather than the german being the root for the english word
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u/Impenistan Feb 23 '25
Makes sense, it was a guess and I am often wrong, and further haven't cracked a Latin textbook in *checks calendar* 20 years oh my fuck what the god
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u/combat_princess Feb 23 '25
happens to the best of us. i had to look it up to be fair, i wasnât sure. i just know that the vast vast majority of english roots are latin or greek, so i figured it was likely
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u/Dzharek Feb 23 '25
Sturz is everything when something has fallen, a plane crashes its "abgestĂŒrtzt", same when you go hiking and fall of the mountain, if I trip and someone asked me what happened I say I am "gestĂŒtzt", Fenstersturz means "he has fallen out of the window" the fact that usually something pushes you out is ignore.
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u/RosebushRaven Feb 24 '25
*gestĂŒRzt
Autocorrect struck again. Not to be pedantic (albeit that is very German), but JIC a learner sees this, so they donât memorise the wrong word, as theyâre so easy to confuse. "GestĂŒTzt" is what a good Samaritan would have done if they fell, got hurt and needed help to walk, meaning "supported", which also is used in reference e.g. to an argument (by proof), a ceiling (by a wall or column) or a book (for objects that are used to prevent books from falling over, thereâs even a specific word: "BuchstĂŒtze").
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u/RosebushRaven Feb 24 '25
Fönsterfall doesnât capture the "being thrown out" aspect.
Yep, same problem with the German analog, as I already lamented above.
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u/RosebushRaven Feb 24 '25
Close, but it doesnât have the implication of being defenestrated, aka thrown out. It just means any olâ fall from a window, which is really regrettable, because thatâs an amazing word!
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u/TheGreatNico Feb 23 '25
The ones that will absolutely destroy your life for no reason other than they happened to cross your path? Yeah. Sounds about right
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u/Repulsive_Ostrich_52 Feb 23 '25
Yes, this is 100% accurate as some who works full time in retail and as a part time Fae hunter. I use my tactics to hunt customers quite easily
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u/TheOnlyWolvie Your Friendly Fox Mage Neighbor đŠ Feb 23 '25
What do you do with the customers...?
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u/Lynnrael Witch Feb 23 '25
i find apologizing to be fairly useful in manipulating customers into not being shitty. it's all in how you apologize, though. like "yeah, I'm sorry, it's a ridiculous rule but i have no choice but to follow it" has helped me deal with a lot of angry customers.
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u/MindwormIsleLocust Rhyax the Confused Feb 23 '25
/uw after 8 years as a grocery cashier... yeah, it's all accurate.
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u/SoupaMayo Novice drawmancer Feb 23 '25
Care to explain ?
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u/MindwormIsleLocust Rhyax the Confused Feb 23 '25
If you make eye contact with a customer, they try to get you to do something for them or ask you questions that 90% of the time are clearly answered by store signage.
Some people will get way too friendly if they know your whole name, acting like you're they're best friend and trying to get discounts or other favors. Or, in the worst cases, they're a stalker.
same as number 2, they usually come with the unspoken expectation of special treatment.
They're trying to argue why x item should be y price. if you agree, then they'll push harder that they should get the price, if you disagree, they demand to talk to your manager who never wants to deal with this crap and will probably accuse you of being rude which is a whole different headache.
If you apologize it is now your responsibility to offer restitution for whatever minor inconvenience they take issue with.
it's more of that perception of being friends. You get some real unhinged requests if a customer thinks you're an actual acquaintance rather than just some NPC.
Sign says "Costs x when you buy y amount." customer who bought 1: "WHY DID I NOT GET THE SALE PRICE?!" Sign says "free with total purchase of Z or more" Customer who just came in trying to score a freebie and nothing else: "WHY ISN'T THIS FREE?!", and of course, big signs above each aisle saying what's on each one "Where is this item?????"
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u/Lynnrael Witch Feb 23 '25
with number 5 it's all about how you apologize. people like when others sympathize with them if you can turn their anger from yourself to the company as a whole. "it's a stupid rule, but it's beyond my power to do anything to change it" or "i don't have any ability to negotiate or alter prices, I'm sorry" have worked for me a few times.
also, you don't owe loyalty to the company, so turning their anger there is better than having them angry at you. at least in my experience.. though most of my customer service experience was in a very particular environment and i had more leeway in dealing with their shenanigans
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u/MindwormIsleLocust Rhyax the Confused Feb 23 '25
You're not wrong, and those are tricks I use as well, but I was mostly going for broad strokes.
It all does feed back in to the overall idea of having to be very careful and deliberate with your phrasing and words, much like when dealing with the Fae
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u/SoupaMayo Novice drawmancer Feb 23 '25
Alright makes sense. 4 and 5 was the most mysterious to me, thanks.
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u/Tyfyter2002 Feb 25 '25
It's truly baffling how some people struggle to recognize that written text may have some meaning behind it.
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u/MindwormIsleLocust Rhyax the Confused Feb 25 '25
ages of treating "the customer is always right" as meaning to bend over backwards to ensure every sale has turned the average retail shopper in to a spoiled child that knows they just have to make some noise to get whatever they want.
(In reality the quote is about following market demand)
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u/Tyfyter2002 Feb 25 '25
Last I heard the quote was really continued with "in matters of taste", but that this complete inability to comprehend that something could visually communicate information extends beyond retail makes me think it can't be entirely derived from that.
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u/big_sugi Feb 26 '25
The original phrase was âthe customer is always right.â Itâs a customer service slogan that means what it says, it dates back to at least 1905, and nobody tried tacking on anything regarding âmatters of tasteâ until many decades later.
https://www.snopes.com/articles/468815/customer-is-always-right-origin/
Specifically, the first written use of âthe customer is always right in matters of tasteâ appears to pop up in the 1990s.
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u/big_sugi Feb 26 '25
The original phrase was âthe customer is always right.â Itâs a customer service slogan that means what it says, it dates back to at least 1905, and it had nothing to do with supply and demand. Itâs about receiving and addressing all customer complaints and requests.
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u/Rustyspottedcats Feb 23 '25
This list is preposterous and untrue. Fae can read signs.
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u/CrashCalamity Enchanter Feb 23 '25
Sounds like something an insulted fae would write. Try this one:
CASH ONLY
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u/kayemenofour Feb 23 '25
It reads: WE EVADE TAXES
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u/Caleth Feb 23 '25
Exactly the problem isnt that they can't read it's that
A) they can't be bothered to spend thier precious seconds reading.
B) they assume reading something is a trap.
C) the words on the signs are a lie with deeper meaning that applies one to their very special personage.
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u/Tazrizen Feb 23 '25
Pretty accurate.
Although keep in mind an iron band or rings will keep them from doing their usual antics around your place of business, although it can seem overtly hostile to them.
I recommend simply reading up on some books on fae interactions and practicing the appropriate speech patterns. âThis is done. Requires a distribution of several payments upon the counter. Proper respects have been paid. May your day find you well.â
Itâs like a mix of HR being in the room and as if you were phrasing things to your therapist.
Ensure that the exits are written properly in the correct dialect and that the store has closing hours in which all occupants must surrender favors to the owner lest be tried in the courts of autumn. That got me a nice pot of gold from some mobster leprechauns. The fae mafia still hates me though.
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u/Syovere Morgan Suncrest, Black-Quill Witch Feb 23 '25
/uw
Okay so, that last one. I got a story. I've told it before but I don't think here.
I was working at Dollar General (protip: don't). We had two registers arranged in a box shape. Cashier(s) stand inside the enclosure, customers go around to the outside. And because Dollar General is a remarkably cheap employer, only one register was ever actually open. The other was basically for "emergencies".
So I'm ringing up a line of customers. Five or six people, with carts, so it's a pretty visible line. While I'm turning to key something into the register (cannot recall what, been over a decade now), I see out of the corner of my eye a customer. At the other register. Standing in front of the "This Register Is Closed" sign.
No, no, that's not the memorable thing.
"Ma'am, that register's closed."
"Oh, I saw the sign, but I wasn't sure if the other one was open."
Wizards, witches, and other assorted spellcrafters, I was dumbstruck. All I could do was slowly look up at the customer whose order I was processing, and then back to the line of people that stretched back two or three aisles.
What the fuck did she think I was doing?!
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u/TheOnlyWolvie Your Friendly Fox Mage Neighbor đŠ Feb 23 '25
At this point I think she was being rude on purpose. Like a really passive-aggressive way of saying "you're taking so long, this register might as well be closed". People don't understand that you can't just check out fifty costumers in 3 seconds all by yourself đ©
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u/Suilezrok Decipherer Of âhow to be lich 1 stepâ wikihow article Feb 23 '25
All correct but for the thanking rule. Should be amended to only thanking for things you want but they have yet to provide, ie: forgiveness of something you arenât sorry for nor have they been made aware of, for patience and kindness they were about to not provide, for accepting that they may need to invest some effort and time to honor their own request or question. By phrasing as something that the fae( customer) werenât prepared to offer they are forced to meet halfway providing leverage.
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u/Eclipse_Shadow Spellknight and Arcane Constructor Feb 23 '25
Not quite, you could shorten than last one to "they can't read."
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u/HeadWood_ If it exists, I will minorly inconvenience you with it. Feb 23 '25
Absolutely, fey will always demand to see my patron and crumble to ash when I tell them that I AM the patron.
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u/Mordetrox Nathanial, Archmage of the Sinful Legion Feb 23 '25
Really hard to avoid revealing your real name when companies require you to always wear your name badge
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u/kemikiao Feb 23 '25
I've never worked for a retail place that card if it was YOUR name on the badge... you just needed any name badge. I was Hannah for the first month I worked at Arby's because Hannah had left her badge and no one knew where the label maker was to print a new one.
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u/weirdo_nb Otherworldly Anarchist đ ||| An Experienced Cafe Owner âïž Feb 23 '25
They specified full name in the post for some reason
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u/SpongeJake Feb 23 '25
Sometimes if you give them pizza theyâll start doing things for you and label you a ZA-lord.
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u/disturbinglyquietguy Feb 23 '25
and both can be "persuaded"Â to not doing something if you carry an iron bar.
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u/SalvationSycamore Feb 23 '25
Not sure I understand not thanking them. I get thanked by retail workers and lost hikers all the time and don't do anything harmful to them over it. It's nice to feel appreciated.
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u/Lynnrael Witch Feb 23 '25
nah, customers are human and can often be manipulated into not making your day worse like any other human.
it's always ok to manipulate people with authority over you, and since workers are often treated as second class citizens to customers, I'd say that applies. though applies most to supervisors and cops. it's always ok to manipulate supervisors and cops.
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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Feb 24 '25
So youâre just gunna expose us like that? Rude! Accurate and true, but rude!
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u/tontstonculartortion Feb 23 '25
I work front desk hotel and when I tell u that if ur not friendly they complain but if ur too friendly u get stalked đđđ
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u/nutsaps Xanaxius the Drowsy Feb 24 '25
Does bartending count as retail? Cause I've gotta break quite a lotta these.
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u/Dapper-Ad1801 Feb 26 '25
Haha yeah, I learned the don't accept stuff from the them the hard way. I got drugged by a customer
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u/Tookoofox Necromancer 20d ago
Not quite. Fortunately working in retail you have the (limited) support of eldritch leviathans of immense power called 'corporations'.
But beware, 'corporations' are every bit as dangerous as any fae or fiend.
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u/JaozinhoGGPlays Pyromancer Feb 22 '25
Both are also weak to being hit with something made of iron