r/wizardposting • u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities • 1d ago
Magickal Art (User Creation) 🎨 FRIDAY NIGHT: WELCOME TO WIZARDS EMPORIUM! HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
On our todays catalog we have:
Apple watch: tells you the time and tastes delicious. 900 gold
Funeral Kazoo: Why do i even have this? 40 gold
Cheese printer: Buy it Before Erik does
Unicorn meat: Perfect for every dish that requires meat 20 gold per can.
Skibidi elk: Wtf, I need to get rid of this crap. Free
Emotional support shoe: One of this helped me throughout tough times 100 gold.
-Unga shoes: Unga shoes. 99999999999 gold.
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), the god hunter 1d ago
I HAVE APPEARED FOR THE CHEESE
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Pls don't steal it, I have taxes to pay
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), the god hunter 1d ago
YOU PAY TAXES!?
I was gonna buy it legally, but now that I know that you're a filthy tax payer
YOUR CHEESE PRINTER NOW!!!
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Hey, this store doesn't run in hopes and dreams, y'know?
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), the god hunter 1d ago
It doesn't!?
What type of business you're running mate!?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Its an item shop, the things I sell aint easy to find. Strong potions, heavily enchanted powerful stuff....
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), the god hunter 1d ago
Look man, you pay taxes. That's disgusting and you should be ashamed
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
PERISH!
Air kicks you out of the store
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u/Magimasterkarp Karp, Ocean Druid and Piscimancer (Fish Wizard) 1d ago
How dare you do that to Jeremy?! You can't just pick up a fish and throw it at people without warning them first!
I guess I'll dust off my fish summoning techniques. I cast fish slap!
(See, it's okay for me to do it because I told Oscar in advance, and also I'm a druid. I have a permit.)
You should apologize to the poor fish you traumatized.
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), the god hunter 1d ago
Oooo dinner
We eating fish sticks today Bois!
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u/Magimasterkarp Karp, Ocean Druid and Piscimancer (Fish Wizard) 1d ago
I did not expect this.
Picks up Jeremy and Oscar and runs away.
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u/Kyle-NotADinosaur- 1d ago
Cheese printer?
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), the god hunter 1d ago
CHEESE PRINTER
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u/Kyle-NotADinosaur- 1d ago
Why?
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u/mrididnt Erik(a), the god hunter 1d ago
Because
IT PRINTS CHEESE
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u/The_Hij Hastur, the Once and Future... 1d ago
God damnit I want the Unga shoes but I don't have that many nines!
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
I can make ye a discount
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u/Fridge_living_tips adam|11ft tall mage hand enjoyer 1d ago
May i have da kazoo
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Yes, you can.
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u/Fridge_living_tips adam|11ft tall mage hand enjoyer 1d ago
:D. Gives zhyros 40 gold thanks you
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Tenkiu :3
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u/Fridge_living_tips adam|11ft tall mage hand enjoyer 1d ago
happy moronic kazoo sounds
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Whatever happens next not his business
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u/Fridge_living_tips adam|11ft tall mage hand enjoyer 1d ago
…thought i was bout to get jumped by a skeleton or something, where da wacky
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Well, it might be cursed or not. I'll keep the surprise for later
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u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe), Head minister of Calarakis, half-adopted by Torinn 1d ago
/uw lmao why me specifically for the “taking lore seriously”? I’m not mad just curious. Also can I have that Ж artwork separately?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Uw/ Idk, I just picked you an Hirk for the lols, needed ideas of characters to draw so I decided to do you and Hirk. On the other side, i drew everything on the same layer, im not sure if I will be able to separate zhe from Hirk
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u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe), Head minister of Calarakis, half-adopted by Torinn 1d ago
/uw i think i can separate it manually in an editing program if it would be too hard on your end to do
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Uw/ Ok, you can do that if you please
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u/Doctorsex-ubermensch Saaluk, aegis of patience 1d ago
I'll take the elk if no one else will.
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Ok, have it then
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u/Doctorsex-ubermensch Saaluk, aegis of patience 1d ago
immediately turns it into a three course gourmet meal
Want some?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
No thanks, all yours
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u/Doctorsex-ubermensch Saaluk, aegis of patience 1d ago
Well then
Unhinges squid mouth and swallows it whole
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u/Scrpn17w Techno-Necro. Scrapyards hate me, graveyards fear me 1d ago
How many decibels can that funeral kazoo produce?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
It's been already sold to Adam
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u/totallynotrobboss Thrak the dwarven artificer/Elisa the android 1d ago
Thrak: how much for the cheese printer?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
500 gold, good thing managed to protect it from Erik
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u/totallynotrobboss Thrak the dwarven artificer/Elisa the android 1d ago
Thrak: deal he hands over a large bag of gold
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u/D3n0man a mysterious man wearing a top hat/Sea's clone 1d ago
Sea's clone: Can I buy the aple watch?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
yes
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u/D3n0man a mysterious man wearing a top hat/Sea's clone 1d ago
the panda gives you 900 G
Sea's clone: gimme
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
gives you apple watch
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u/D3n0man a mysterious man wearing a top hat/Sea's clone 1d ago
Sea's clone: Thank you :)
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
tenkiu :3
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u/D3n0man a mysterious man wearing a top hat/Sea's clone 1d ago
the panda gives you bublewrap and leaves
pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!
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u/Orion_gamer1 1d ago
49 cans of unicorn meat please (hands over the gold)
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Puts the 49 cans over the counter.
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u/Calathil_the_Mage Magically Editable Flair 1d ago
I got this weird brownie with leaves in them. Can I trade this for Ungas boot?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
works for me
the Unga shoes are yours
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u/Calathil_the_Mage Magically Editable Flair 1d ago
Great! Thank you!
Hands him the plate of strange brownies and takes the Unga shoes
Pauses for a moment
I also have another item I'd like to trade. Are you by any chance interested?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
show me
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u/Calathil_the_Mage Magically Editable Flair 1d ago
I need to get rid of this unfortunate forehead. Any chance you are interested in buying it? Or trading it?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
how much?
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u/Calathil_the_Mage Magically Editable Flair 1d ago
You can decide the price.
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
The emotional suppert shoe and 900 gold for it
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u/Calathil_the_Mage Magically Editable Flair 1d ago
Wait... I pay you 900 gold or you pay me 900 gold?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Im buying it from you, of course im paying you for it, i offer that
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u/gigainpactinfinty5 Ekaitz Diaz Sombra Sorcerer Bard Wilder Rubato 1d ago
“I have this rock. Do you want to buy it?”
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
ye
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u/gigainpactinfinty5 Ekaitz Diaz Sombra Sorcerer Bard Wilder Rubato 1d ago
“What can I get for it?”
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Ive sold all my current stuff, so ill give you.........500 gold
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u/gigainpactinfinty5 Ekaitz Diaz Sombra Sorcerer Bard Wilder Rubato 1d ago
“Hmmmm…. 500 gold and when you get more cool stuff give me some of it and we’ll call it even. Deal?”
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Well, you can look the store, i have your typical stuff, orbs, swords, armours.....all heavily enchanted
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u/gigainpactinfinty5 Ekaitz Diaz Sombra Sorcerer Bard Wilder Rubato 1d ago
“I see. I’ll look around and see everything. Thanks for letting me know.”
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Ok....tell me if you are interested in something, if don't I'll give you a ticket for another occasion
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u/gigainpactinfinty5 Ekaitz Diaz Sombra Sorcerer Bard Wilder Rubato 1d ago
“Can I have ticket? I just remembered that I have to do errands soon.”
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Ok
Gives you a ticket
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u/Optillian Baz'Garragon the Wicked, Underground Wizard 1d ago
Can I get a hot dog with the works?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Y3ah
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u/Optillian Baz'Garragon the Wicked, Underground Wizard 1d ago
Thanks.
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
1 gold please
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u/RavenAboutNothing Copper, Cat Wizard. Napping. Do Not Disturb. 1d ago
What the—
Ezekiel, what are you doing in Zhyros' toilet?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
He's asking if i have games on my phone
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u/RavenAboutNothing Copper, Cat Wizard. Napping. Do Not Disturb. 1d ago
Don't unlock it, he'll curse your autocorrect!
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
I barely know how to use a phone
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u/RavenAboutNothing Copper, Cat Wizard. Napping. Do Not Disturb. 1d ago
You should be safe then. Just don't give him a ham sandwich.
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
Why would I do that?
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u/RavenAboutNothing Copper, Cat Wizard. Napping. Do Not Disturb. 1d ago
Great question! I have no idea.
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u/the_mad_merchant The Mad Wizard 1d ago
I will take some unicorn meat, its been a while since I’ve had it.
Care for a drink over some stewed unicorn?
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u/the-butter_man Rin. Blind Illusionist Blessed by Luck 1d ago
Give m- me the fucking printer.
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 17h ago
I already sold it, I can search another in the basement
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u/IncomeApprehensive17 Yan the sealed , primordial spirit of fire , The Arch conjurer 1d ago
Is the elk still available ?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 17h ago
Yeah
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u/IncomeApprehensive17 Yan the sealed , primordial spirit of fire , The Arch conjurer 17h ago
How much ?
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 16h ago
It's free
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u/IncomeApprehensive17 Yan the sealed , primordial spirit of fire , The Arch conjurer 14h ago
Ill give 10 gold for it
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 12h ago
If you want to
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u/IncomeApprehensive17 Yan the sealed , primordial spirit of fire , The Arch conjurer 12h ago
20 gold but thats my last offer !
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 12h ago
....ok
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u/IncomeApprehensive17 Yan the sealed , primordial spirit of fire , The Arch conjurer 12h ago
FINE !
put 30 gokd coin on the counter
"I better hope it works well"
take the toilet and leave
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
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u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed and shopkeeper of rarities 1d ago
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u/Deep_Negotiation_551 Pasta Fazoul, The Bean Master 1d ago
Hey I found this card how much will you take for it