From my observation, newly divorced single women in their 50’s struggle to date while men in their 50’s always go for younger women. It’s things like this that make marriage not worth it.

TLDNR: My mom has always been a strong woman but she's become more conservative in the last 10 years. I've put up with it but I had a miscarriage last week and we finally came to a head. I don't know if I can have her in my life anymore.

My mom and I have always butted heads, I've always thought she had good intentions but being raised in a conservative small town in the sixties gave her a lot of incorrect ideas, in my opinion. Her dad was a misogynist, she believes in being a strong woman simply out of spite. She's always been supportive of me and always pushed me to be a strong independent woman. I'm now 31 and I'm kind of ashamed of my mom. I remember even into my adulthood, my mom being pro-choice, a feminist, saying I could do whatever I wanted when I grew up, that I didn't need a man, that I was a strong woman who built a solid career by myself and that my life was entirely up to me. I can't reconcile the changes I have witnessed in my own mother in the last decade because of Trump.

She's a different person.

She coached my volleyball team for several years. She participated when I was a girl scout, she was a chaperone for most of my field trips in grade school. Everyone on the block knew her. My mom taught me to speak up and fight back. She's a passionate, intense woman who has always believed women can do anything they want, especially me. My mom has always been my fiercest supporter.

She's now the kind of person who would foam at the mouth if you took a list of Trump's actions and told her Biden did those things. She blindly follows Trump, she drank the Kool-Aid early, attracted to the fact that he's not a career politician. She's gotten more deeply embedded every year, every election.

Last year after the pager attacks in Gaza, my mom posted a racist, xenophobic meme on Facebook. If you've ever seen that meme of the little blonde girl smiling in front of a house burning in the background, it was that meme template with the words "they ate my dog, so I paged them". I have never known my mom to post anything like this before. When my brother and I and several family friends confronted her about this, she doubled down and blocked anyone who disagreed with her. She cut people out of her life that she's known for 15, almost 20 years, simply because they told her the post was insensitive.

I remember my mom screaming at me at the dinner table in high school one night because I repeated something I heard at school and my mom shouted at the top of her lungs "I did not raise my children to be bigots". She told me if I ever said that again, I would be in military school the next year. I didn't know that I had said anything wrong, but my mom made it clear that certain words and phrases and ways of thinking are never okay. I've always been raised with the ideals that character counts more than anything you can see or read on paper. But since the Trump era, she's not the same person.

She and I had a screaming match between the election and the inauguration, specifically about abortion restrictions in the deep south. My mom is a nurse, she herself has had miscarriages, she knows the medicine, she knows better. She's not religious, she knows the science but she's changed.

I gave her an example of a woman I went to high school with, who is married and was pregnant with her second child when she found out early on that the pregnancy was ectopic. Under Florida law, she was already past the point at which she could get an elective abortion. Although she was ectopic and the doctors told her the pregnancy would never come to term, because the pregnancy was not actively threatening her life, she couldn't do anything about it. She had to wait 7 weeks until her life was in jeopardy enough to be allowed to have an abortion. She went to her doctor every week for almost 2 months and was repeatedly told no, until eventually she got sick. My mom, who has always commented on the ignorance and dangers of uneducated legislators passing restrictive laws without knowing the medicine behind them, told me my friend should have just left the state. I was floored. My mom lives in a different state, 6 hours away from me, and consistently complains at how difficult and expensive it is to travel to another state for events, to see family, etc. Yet she had no compassion for a married couple with two full-time jobs and a toddler at home, who were somehow expected to make a long distance road trip or buy tickets for an expensive flight while she was sick, just to get medical care.

My anger has gotten worse at my mother. I was already angry before the election and it has gotten worse and worse with each benchmark. The election results, inauguration, every headline of women's suffering around the country. Sometimes I just want to punch her in the face. I started sending her articles just to pick a fight.

The other night when I told my mom about the woman who was arrested in Georgia for apparently improperly disposing of fetal remains after a second trimester miscarriage, my mom told me that woman should have "used more common sense". When I told my mom about the woman in Ohio who was arrested a few years ago for flushing fetal remains, my mom shrugged and said "well that's what happens". No anger towards the narc medical staff who called the police on both of these women, no rage at the politicians who passed these laws, no blame for the cops who arrested these women, no compassion for our sisters. My mom said these woman should have known that they should just take the remains to the hospital. I asked her if she thought these women should have swaddled the remains in their arms and walked, bloody and crying, into a hospital for the staff to handle the remains.

I apparently had a miscarriage last week. I passed clots for a few days, I bled for a few days more, and I have been cramping for 2 weeks now. I'm considering going to an ER to get an ultrasound to make sure all the tissue is passed so I don't get an infection. My mom knows I've been going through this, she knows I have pelvic pain and cramping every single day and that I'm scared.

I was in Florida 12 hours before I started miscarrying. Even saying it out loud brings tears to my eyes. I didn't know I was pregnant, I was on birth control, and previous at home urine tests were negative. I didn't know what happened until I went to my gynecologist about irregular bleeding and was told I probably had a miscarriage at what would have been considered 9 weeks pregnant. I had missed a pill in January, had no period in February, and had irregular bleeding with large clots in late March. I didn't know this when my boyfriend and I went to Florida. We had standby tickets and were able to get back home to Virginia Saturday night, our plan B if we missed our flight or weren't able to get seats was to stay overnight Saturday and fly out Sunday. Our Plan C was to rent a car and drive home. I started bleeding Sunday afternoon. I could have been in Florida when I started miscarrying at 9 weeks pregnant. I happened to be home only because the standby flights worked out in our favor that night. The idea that I would have been turned away from a Florida ER scares the shit out of me. The idea that my mom doesn't care that her voting for Trump three elections in a row has put my rights in jeopardy, makes me furious.

I told her off the other night. I just couldn't take it anymore. My mom told me in a self-righteous way a few nights ago that she would never get an abortion, no matter what happened.

She said there's no reason for a woman to ever terminate a pregnancy past the first trimester. I reminded her of several medical reasons that would prompt an obstetrician or pregnant person to consider an abortion in the second or third trimester, including things like anencephaly where the fetus is not properly developed but the mother's life is not actively in danger. Late term abortion is an alternative to stillbirth or the baby dying shortly after birth in those cases. My mom continued with her argument and was offended that I apparently didn't ask for her opinion on what she would do if she was faced with something like that. I reminded her several times that she already told me she would never get an abortion, so why would I give a fuck about her opinion?

I was mean. I name called. I swore. I called her stupid. I told her she's selfish and that she is making decisions that could cost me my life. I reminded her that she has continuously voted for a man who is open about sexually assaulting women. I reminded her that I'm a rape survivor, and told her how fucking insulting it is for her to look me in the eye and say she believes me and in the same breath turn around and say the women who accused Trump are looking for attention and want to ruin his life.

I don't know how she can be such a fucking misogynist. I'm heartbroken. My mom and I were close. I'm so much like her. We are both passionate, hardworking, intelligent, deeply loyal, and we have dark senses of humor. We're both known for being intensely loyal to our loved ones. I've always prided myself on these qualities. I even look like my mom.

I haven't spoken to my mom in days. Everyday I wake up with pelvic pain, nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, feeling like I'm going to lose consciousness, it's a reminder.

I know my mom votes red. Last year, Virginia tried to pass a 6-week abortion ban. I've lived here for almost 25 years, I grew up here. I grew up in the blue counties that historically have swung the state blue. But it's still a red state. I know eventually, Republicans will take back the Democrat counties in local elections and they will take away abortion access. It's not if, it's when. It's a matter of time. And then I will have to find a new state to live in, I will have to leave my home. And I know that my mom voted for those conservative local politicians who have been screaming about pro-life agendas for a decade. I know her voting record, not just at the federal level but also at the state and local level, will make me have to flee the place I've known for most of my life. That's if her ignorant voting decisions don't kill me first.

I'm pissed. I don't know what to do. I'm beyond angry. I'm heartbroken. I love who my mom used to be but I fucking hate her now.

I don’t know if this is common but i’m not comfortable with people even close family or friends touching my stomach while im pregnant. This is my opinion: You cannot feel the baby through my stomach and either way it’s not your body to touch. It feels odd and I don’t want that discomfort. I don’t want my body to be such a focus on a physical level like that either.

Posted some bikini pics over the weekend… feeling kinda embarrassed now.

So I don’t post often, especially not pics of myself, but I’ve been working really hard lately—eating healthy, working out, actually starting to feel good in my body for once. I decided to post some fun bikini pics from the beach, including one where, yeah, my butt was definitely featured more than I realized at the time (lol). My husband was like heck yeah you looks great why don’t you post about it you and you’re life more ?

At first I felt confident and proud, like, “Hell yeah, look at me go.” But a few hours later, I remembered I have a male coworker on there (why did I accept that friend request??), and now I’m cringing so hard. I ended up deleting the stories after a couple of hours, but now I feel this weird combo of shame and regret.

Anyone else ever done something like this? How do you balance wanting to feel good and share your progress without overthinking who might be watching? Should I just not care? Or be more private about this stuff?

Would love some advice or reassurance.

inceldom, the 'redpill' and the 'blackpill' have been niche enough topics in regards to the news and i personally think it's a good step forward to have these things brought to light.

incels are pretty infamous, yes, but the 'redpill' is nowhere near talked about enough considering the amount of it that's online and easily accessible to young impressionable children - as well as the 'blackpill'

it is so so important that we protect our children from these harmful ideologies and i'm glad a lot of parents are now aware of their existence thanks to the netflix show.

Not a place to offer whataboutisms. Not a place to interrupt women's discussions and offer your bad faith take nobody asked for. Not a place to go "not all men!" when women discuss their bad experiences with men. Not a place for women to throw other women under the bus in order to defend men/erase their accountability.

You guys do this on every female focused platform imaginable, on pretty much every women's sub here. It would be nice to have one space for ourselves without you making it about how But Women Are Bad Too Though! or making excuses for bad male behaviour.

I recently had to buy leather heels for work and understandably, they're still very stiff. I've tried stretching them out and they feel much better now, but I can't seem to stretch the back part enough to prevent my heel from hurting and I really want to avoid blisters:(

I normally use band-aids for this problem but since they're work shoes, I have to wear them every day, and it won’t work for the long run. I also bought a pair of those cushioned pads that stick to the shoe, but they didn't quite work.

Does anyone have any other suggestions? Greatly appreciated

I’m at about a 34 D and I’d like for them to appear smaller. I bought a binder but not only is it a bit hard to breath in, it completely flattens my chest which isn’t what I’m looking for. I usually wear sports bras but they don’t really do much to make my chest appear smaller. Does anyone have any good bra recs?

(I’m talking about fleeting, non medically relevant pain.)

Like, all my life, I’ve been told as a girl I just cannot imagine the pain and that it’s just the worst pain on the planet.

Okay but women are in pain EVERY MONTH and don’t even moan about it, and get told to stop being so sensitive. A man gets kicked in the nuts once, and the whole world winces in compassion.

Sorry but what the fuck is this double standard?

Btw I’m not trying to compare pains here (which I personally can’t) or diminish the pain other people are feeling.

But it pisses me off how NOBODY would ever dare to say to men that they’re overreacting, whereas women get told all the time that we’re overreacting!!?

I hate this bullshit.

Edit to add this conclusion of my thoughts: almost nobody really knows which hurts more. So why do we just accept what men assume as the ultimate truth??

so i have blunt mini bangs. like they end a tiny bit above my eyebrows. idk maybe this happens with women with other bang styles but i gotta ask… do people ever assume weird shit about you because you have bangs??

recently this past month i have had MULTIPLE people confess how they thought i was weird, mean, strange, out there, mostly because of my bangs? my personal style is maybe a bit out there, kinda grunge esq, but the people who say this see me in naked face and work clothes so they wouldn’t even know that about me.

it’s so weird. is this normal? i do live in the south so im not sure if that plays a role but are there stereotypes/myths about women with bangs or something?

I have prom next week and i’m worried since i have a deep gash on the back of my heel. you know the kind where the back of you high heels dig into the back of your heel? That kind. How do I make the pain more bearable as I wear heels for prom?

Okay ik im not an adult but i think this is the best place to help me.

Okay I know there’s a reason but idk what is it. My bra is a hook type and basically it just keeps on hooking at random times, like it’s not tight nor loose, I can adjust it but they just unhook Atleast 2-3 times a day, I only have 3 of hooking bras, they r all the same type and then the rest are sport bras. Basically 2 of them unhook and stuff I forgot about the 3rd one. None r broken and once again they fit perfectly so idk why’s it unhooking.

Anyone else experience this???

Recently, I (20F) got intimate (no intercourse) with my new boyfriend (21M), and I was surprised to realize I didn’t feel much physical sensation when he was touching me. I really love this boy—he makes me so happy, and I feel completely safe and free to be myself around him. That’s why it was disappointing and even a little scary to not feel anything in the moment. I had this expectation that it would feel good or exciting, but it just… didn’t. The relationship is fairly new if this helps.

I’m wondering if this could be related to where I am in my cycle (I was, and still am, in my luteal phase), or possibly a side effect of my medication (I’m on a low dose of an SSRI and a mood stabilizer). It’s been hard to stop thinking about it—I really want to enjoy being touched by him, and I worry what it means that I didn’t.

We don’t get to see each other very often since he lives an hour away, so it’s not like I can easily experiment and figure things out physically with him right now. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any thoughts, advice, or reassurance would mean a lot.

We had an arranged marriage and it has been a few months though, but it feels like he hates me. He doesn't like spending time, talking to me, or even praise me. He is very rude, straight in his tone and tries to stay away from me as much as possible..

This started because when we got married he asked me about my past relationshipz and made me feel confident that he wouldn't mind etc. So I told him that in college I had someone who liked me. Ever since he doubts me if I am talking to him, or have I slept with him ever (which is not the case, His feelings towards me were not reciprocated).

Now my husband only talks to me for his work,houshold things, or whatever he wants. He has been so distant that our physical relation is also one sided. He gets angry, hurtful and never a single word of affection

I know that we should all love ourselves and focus on what’s on the inside, but it’s nice to have your outside reflect how you feel and who you are on the inside.

For the majority of my life I’ve struggled with low self esteem. I was constantly bullied, rejected, made to feel worthless, ugly, undesirable, you name it. It was only later on in high school that I started to realize my worth and realize I’m actually not that bad looking. When I got to college, that was the first time I ever realized that I’m pretty. While I was starting to believe it, it was a shocker that other people felt the same way too and I never thought I could be perceived this way.

I struggled with weight a bit when I was a kid, and I still do a bit now to this day, especially in my face which I absolutely hate. I’ve seen women who carried a lot of baby weight/fat in their teens lose it in their early 20s and come into their womanly form and you can tell they’re their age. Me? I constantly struggle with weight in my face, can never get it off, and recently I went through a depression + repeated trauma that has caused me to put on 20 pounds. It has been incredibly difficult for me to lose weight due to being chronically stressed and dealing with these mental health struggles.

Majority of the girls from my high school are completely unrecognizable now. All the girls look their age and have grown to become beautiful women and don’t look like kids anymore. As for me, sometimes I feel like I’m cosplaying as a young woman sometimes ngl.

I’m at a point now where I just want to start looking and feeling better about myself. I’m tired of looking at my photos and grimacing because I feel that I look too fat or too childish or even worse, looking dead inside. I feel like I’m not conventionally pretty and have to try so hard to look put together sometimes but I’m tired of worrying about this.

I’m wondering for those who were able to “glow up” what was it that you did? What changed?

i found out i’m pregnant very late- i could be 24 weeks. i am terrified it’s too late for an abortion- i have no income, complex health conditions, no boyfriend, and a family that would abandon me if they found out. i am also due major abdominal surgery in a few weeks. if it’s 24 weeks or over, but i need an abortion what can i do? i am in the UK but anyone who may have advice please share it. continuing this pregnancy is putting my mental health at significant risk i am too anxious to function and look after myself and i am starting to suffer with vomiting due to anxiety

Okay yes we already hate retailers for making pants all different sizes when claiming they are universally the same!! Like why from your own store is a size different like every time!!! But Oh. My. God. when looking online recently for some pants (jeans specifically) it wasn’t just the waist /hip/inseam sizing it was the LENGTH! is it normal to have every pair of jeans I saw not go down to the ankle??? Like I thought pants that fit correctly cover the ankle and not stop like mid calf. I literally rage quit because even after looking at the ‘long’ sizing available I was still finding that issue (atleast when looking at the model photos and the customer reviews almost all of them (that could have fit me) DIDNT COME DOWN TO THE ANKLE!!) I’m not even that tall, I’m literally like 5’8. Maybe I’m destined to just wear leggings and skirts (or maybe I should learn to sew a solid pair of pants - drop any pants patterns below!!) forever because holy shit I cannot find a pair of pants that will go down to my ankles 😭 maybe it’s just the style everyone is wearing but I’m just not having any luck (and yes this is online shopping, In store shopping is just not it these days but omg that’s a whole different rant for another day hahah)

so me and my boyfriend were having yk, and he slipped out and hit the skin between my hole and my other hole, well it hurt like hell so he went to go look and he looked shocked and said your bleeding, so as one does i took my camera out to see and i saw a huge cut between me, so i decided it’s a good idea to go to the doctors. 4 hours later and a lot of jokes and waiting, i got 4 stitches and a painful ass needle that felt like death lol, i have a pretty good pain tolerance but i screamed and the hole hospital herd me yelling swears left and right, and my birthday is in a few days and it feels like everything has gone wrong. Well moral of the story is be carful when you slip out bc it might lead to 4 stitches and a needle you will never forget

Hi (F20) Everytime I shave my skin ends up irritated and with razor bumps and I don’t know what to do. My legs are completely fine because I have light and thin hair, but it’s much thicker at my armpits and down there. I’m not all that bothered about shaving everything, just my armpits and bikini line as I like to at least be a little tidy. But no matter what razors I use I can never shave fully and smoothly and I just get bumps. My bikini line just gets irritated and itchy the day after. I honestly don’t know anything about skin care or how others shave so am I missing something here or should I just wax instead?

I think they’re super comfy and cute so it’s odd to me that I rarely see anyone wear them. I understand wanting to avoid creepy comments and looks though. I don’t think they’re too revealing so I do wear them in luck public on warm days. Usually a men’s workout tank top with long arm holes + a sports bra.

Maybe it’s more of a summer thing? But I overheat in as little as 50° on a sunny day so you’ll catch me looking like I just left the beach while I’m at the grocery store in winter lol (in shorts + my tank top/sports bra combo. I don’t do bikinis. Too many wedgies)

I've decided I'm not going to have relationships with men or have children and would like to know what other women do with their lives when they've made this choice?

Those Alpha bros would like for women to center men in literally every single aspect of their life while the same isn't expected from men. They also preach about how women should sacrifice their financial independence and be stay at home moms and give their life, their soul, their bodies, their house labour, and their energy to a man while saying that the woman shouldn't expect loyalty from her man and if he feels bored it's ok for him to sleep around with other women. Or how they say that only losers are with women over 25. Why not just hire maids and prostitutes at this point instead of wasting a woman's time if all you're seeking is your own comfort and not mutual respect and companionship? What's even the point of getting a wife if this is how you're gonna act? They like traditional lifestyle but only for the woman. Men can do whatever they want.

I think it's a healthy relationship to be a housewife to a man who's loyal, respects you, and provides and you're both making each other's lives easier, but what these lunatics are preaching is crazy. Just imagine sacrificing your life and financial independence for someone only for them to ditch you when you get older or go and cheat. Yeah, fuck that.

Their view is basically women have to put men at the center of their world in everything they do and dedicate every breathing second of their life to being the perfect bang maid, but men are free to go explore options, cheat, work, make money, achieve their dreams, etc... It's crazy.

Today is my birthday. I turn 24. And although there’s a mixture of good feelings and bad feelings. I feel like a child wearing an adult meat suit. I have no one to guide me in certain things. And the older I am getting the more mistakes I feel I might make cuz I don’t know the standard of how to handle certain things. So I have made a list of things I need advice on. If any one is kind enough to offer.

1. How to handle people not liking you. (I know people tend to be very non-chalant when people don’t like them. Some people like it when people don’t like them. But I don’t think I like when people don’t like me. Especially when I really did nothing to them, and if my intentions like hurt, I try to find out what I did and yet they are still mean to me. I have one girl at Pilates who is always so cold and I have tried confronting and like trying to figure out if I did something. So I can apologize. But nothing. So any tips on handling when people don’t like you and you have made effort to rectify the situation. In the event you unconsciously did something to hurt them but they still like act mean towards you without telling you what you did)

2. Money. I was 16 when I got into university and I studied what I liked (psychology) no one told me the chances of me getting a job would be slim to none. I am currently trying to pivot into project or product management. And I just need tips.

3. Love. I have never…(Currently holding back tears writing this) I have never been in a healthy relationship. I took a break 2 years ago and I feel I have closed up completely. And it wasn’t my intention too. Now, I’ve gotten so used to handling everything myself. And a part of me feels like I am hard to love. I am mostly lusted after and not truly desired to be known and it breaks my heart. I know we cannot control how others treat us. But I really really really really would love to be loved someday. And letting myself believe I am loved for who I am and not what I can do.

I’ll stop here. Maybe right now, I just needed a place to rant and cry… I tried killing myself at 19 because I was sure nothing was left for me here and God kept me. So I’m here figuring things out and I am getting older and I’m scared.

So any tips, references, messages anything. Would be appreciated.