Unfortunately, no. It's kind of crazy. I've spent the last month mourning the loss of my HRIS career on-and-off while I look to pivot my skills into something adjacent. I'm almost done my HRCI People Analytics certification and then I might take my PMP certification. I'm hoping those will give me in-roads to analytics and maybe HR tech project management jobs (PM work isn't my dream but maybe I'll find my way back to HRIS).

I wish I had something more to offer you. Feel free to stay connected if you want to navigate this together!

My problem is usually the opposite: I ignore my gut feelings and later learn I should have listened to myself. Your gut feelings are really your mind perceiving small things that don't feel right to you. Sometimes in the moment it's hard to make sense of those feelings so I would suggest taking time, maybe 30-60 minutes a day, distraction free (put your devices away, go to a quiet place) and look deeper into those feelings. Journaling is a good way to get those feelings out.

The hard part is knowing what to do when you understand those feelings better. Good decisions don't always feel good. Sometimes they hurt but will avoiding the pain of that good decision get you where you want to be? Or are you going to end up in the same position weeks, months, or years from now? Do you want to be feeling like this in 1 year but with a baby?

Being independent doesn't mean you don't need people to show up for you. It doesn't make you needy or dependent. It's the most reasonable, basic expectation in the world to have your partner care about you enough to be there for the important shit. At 49 he should damn well know that and if he doesn't, he's selfish and immature as hell.

I have been in your shoes and I know how unsettling job loss can be. These sorts of transitions are an opportunity to reevaluate and transform. I know it's scary! Work through the fear and believe in yourself. Good luck!

I'm still a novice at reading the cards (1.5 yrs) but the way I would summarize this is: you have a new, harmonious relationship in the works and it should be very fruitful! You have a ton of youthful energy around this but the 8 of pentacles reminds you that you're really going to have to put in the work to reap the benefits of this connection. Now is not the time to rest on your laurels--don't sleep on this opportunity, either. Seems like this is a good pursuit!

Not to freak you out but I had 2 brothers that wet the bed on and off until that age and they are both bipolar. I later learned it's a symptom of bipolar (but it typically presents in boys). It's worth talking to a doctor and a psychiatist about. I know it's a symptom of some other things, too. You're making a correlation with her grandfather passing but that's not necessarily a cause. A lot of things start to present at that age. Best to gently talk to her about talking to some professionals. It's way more common than she understands so it might be a source of shame at the moment.

So my pittie (Odin) hates vacuuming and sweeping to the point that I have to crate him when I do either but he got used to my robot vacuum, Jaws. Last night Odin was on the couch when Jaws came out to clean and he lifted his head up and was like, "this fucking guy" and went back to sleep. The first 6 months Jaws was in the house Odin got out of his crate in the morning and swiped Jaws right off his station and looked at him like he had a bone to pick, though.

Sky

True. I learned to trust my gut, ask lots of questions, and don't let people avoid answering questions directly. Also, if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

I don't understand how MLMs get away with it, though. That month of my life I gave to them really put me in a bind.

The biggest red flag was I asked them if they needed me to do a W-4 and an I-9 and they looked like deer in headlights. They said no and I asked how they paid people then and they sort of laughed and said we got paid at the end of every day. I kept asking questions so they distracted me. They also promised me I could move to an entry-level marketing job but couldn't provide me a job description. Despite all that I took the "job" and grinded for a month before I quit. That was the most work I did for the least money I ever made.

Awwww. I kinda feel like they set it up that way because they're lonely and want company. I mean, this is completely batshit crazy and I would never go but I might take the couple out to dinner just so they have a little social activity.

Are you depressed? I'm asking because in your dream you were sitting in a corner crying and it seems like that black cloud was oppressing you. I'm wondering if the black dog was trying to fight your depression for you and bring you comfort. Maybe that's what you need right now--someone to help you fight it.

That's kind of you. I'm happy to connect and if all that comes out of it is 2 single moms supporting each other, that feels like a win to me. I'll send you DM.

As a single mom with no parents or partner, I see you! I know the weight of having to be the sole provider to a child while not having a safety net yourself. It's so scary. I lost my job in June of last year, the severance is running out and I am nowhere close to an offer yet. I didn't anticipate being in this position. The stress of managing a teenager and keeping a roof over your head is so, so draining. I get it. I see you. You're not alone.

That being said, it's not really going to do you any good looking in the rearview mirror. What's done is done. All you can do is learn from your past and try to make better decisions for your future.

The market is pretty crappy for candidates right now. Maybe stick with the job you have and try to make connections at companies you would like to work for eventually. Keep those connections warm so they think of you the next time they have an opening. In the meantime, focus on building a relationship with your kid, working your job, and finishing school--that's a lot. You might not realize it but you are doing A LOT and you're doing it alone. Give yourself credit. Leave the past in the past. You're doing really good. Truly. You're more of a rockstar than you realize. You've got this.

I started looking in November and between my observations and what I'm hearing from other job seekers and recruiters: there's fewer oppoortunities and more competition out there. It's an employers market. I would recommend networking, meeting new people, having informational meetings, and seeing where that takes you. Start planting seeds now and reap later.

There are companies out there in the private sector that have veterans programs. I think there is a program called Military Friendly. Target those companies. Even if they don't have an open position, reach out to their HR and have a discussion about your skills and where you might be a good fit. Try to stay open minded (instead of singularly minded in HR). You might be surprised about what you're qualified for.

That being said, I'm sure you have a ton of great skills that will translate in the corporate world. Thank you for your service and good luck!

I don't think he's directionless, just discouraged and depressed from the job search. Steps he should take: 1) have someone review his resume--maybe a family friend could help or alumni services? 2) he should be networking--see if there's an industry or professional association he can join with a local chapter. Partake in as many of their events as possible, 2a)He should also try reaching out to people on LinkedIn who work in the field he wants to work in and ask for a 15 minute informational interview (google informational interviews), 3) practice answering interview questions--there's tons of content out there and 4) volunteer or get a part-time job and use that as a networking opportunity whenever possible.

As a parent, I think it would be more beneficial to support him through encouragement and maybe a little coaxing vs criticizing him. It's tough starting out after college. Job searching, interviewing, and networking is a completely different set of skills than the skills he learned in his field. It takes a lot of research, studying, and practicing. I don't think he's lazy. He's depressed. I really wish him luck.

I'll add that if you can get your company to pay for a SHRM membership, they have lots of articles and podcasts about the practical application of labor laws and regulations.

During COVID the rules were relaxed. If that's when you started the job, that might be why you were trained that way. I'm pretty sure back in 2023 the requirement went back to visual inspection. I worked for a big company at the time and I think they outsourced the I-9 ID inspections for remote employees to another company that had satellite locations all over the country. The candidate would have to appear in person at the satellite location with their IDs.

Ouch, that's hard, OP. Something I've learned over time is these moments in life that feel like failures are actually really valuable teachable moments. Take note of what you learned from these projects that didn't go your way. Did you not get stakholder buy-in upfront? Did the scope of the project get away from you? Learning from your mistakes is actually a huge strength. Every interview I've ever had, the manager asks about a time things didn't go my way and how did I handle it--because challenges are inevitable and what matters is what you learn from it.

As far as your confidence, we all have those moments where we feel like we don't know what we're doing or if we're actually any good at what we do. But being a B student isn't bad. Maybe you're not meeting your own expectations but be gentle with yourself. Being an A student while your personal world is being rocked is kind of unreasonable. Take some time to recouperate and then get clear on what you want and start taking steps in that direction. You're going to be fine.

Yesterday sucked for me. I woke up at 6am and could immediately tell my dog had an accident in his crate. Yeah. 6am I was cleaning up poo. I took him out in the yard after that and once my son left for school I got back in bed. I got up an hour later and the dog had ANOTHER accident in the house. It wasn't his fault. He clearly had an upset stomach. I cleaned up, made him some rice to mix in his food, did some dishes, went upstairs and the cat had puked on the rug! I was ready to move out and just leave the house to the pets. Lol. Then my afternoon got hijacked by administrative crap and I was over it (life) by 3pm. I went and got myself snacks and spent the rest of the day melding with the couch.

Sometimes there's nothing you can do but call the day a wash and start over in the morning. Today was better. I hope your tomorrow is better, too.

No. Don't try to fix him. Nothing good ever comes of it. You'll end up resenting each other. Also, you can't change other people. They have to want to change and then it's up to them to make moves.

He's in therapy, which is probably the best thing for him, so encourage him to keep going. Any positive change HE initiates, encourage him. Other than that, leave him alone.

Lunch is a hard meal for me, too. I get bored with salads and sandwiches. Things I've folded into the lunch menu over the years to make it more interesting are: cold sesame noodles with hard boiled egg or chicken for protein (the NYTimes has a good recipe), homemade burrito bowls, DIY charcuterie, and Goodles when I'm home. I hope that helps!

There is so much wrong with this guy's behavior. 1) He's not only okay with his best friend cheating on his wife, he's willing to act as a cover (a "guys vacation" is a cover)--these two are very comfortable lying and cheating and then covering for each other and that should make you VERY uncomfortable, 2) this guy confiding this shit to you is a type of conditioning--he's showing you his bad behavior early, in small doses, under the guise of trust--he's making you feel special that he can "talk to you about anything" but what he's really doing is conditioning you to accept his bad behavior because "at least he's being honest about it". 3) his overreaction to your joke is backing you into a position of defending yourself against false allegations that make him a victim--now he's got you feeling insecure in your relationship like you did something to him when really he did something to you.

It's only been 3 months. You're not missing out on anything. Block him and move on.

Jesus Christ. You don't have to get combative. My point was pay range transparency is law or becoming law in a lot of states so you're about to have a lot less choice about it. Do with that what you want. Have a great day.