NTA and I am sorry about the loss of your pets.

It sounds like you two are not compatible anymore. If my husband said to me “Don’t get any ideas, I will divorce you if you ever bring another dog home.” after one of our dogs died, we would probably be done at that point. And it’s not even about the dog but because that’s not how you speak to your partner. It’s wildly disrespectful. He’s not the sole decision maker of the house.

Also, he seems more concerned with his happiness above everyone else’s, even at the expense of yours. You have no interest in traveling where he wants to go and you still aren’t “allowed” to get a pet? There are lots of options for pet care when you travel. He’s being ridiculous. Are you really as happy together as you say?

However, with his attitude I would not be comfortable bringing another pet into the house if I was you. I would be worried about him hurting it or abusing the pet to get back at you.

Hey, it’s gonna be ok.

A nasty sinus cold is taking each of us down one by one so the tv has been on basically nonstop for days now. There will be a day when we are feeling better but for now this is how we are surviving. Take it one day at a time. Tomorrow you and I may both be feeling good enough to get out of the house for a bit.

This whole thing reads like you don’t take accountability for anything, ever. You’re blaming your wife for ruining your marriage when it’s your inability to take action to protect her (and I’m guessing probably your children as well) from your parents. Have you or your parents ever even apologized to your wife for the shit you all have put her through?

Your wife had cancer for fucks sake and your mother‘s initial response was how inconvenient it is for her that wife needs support. What the fuck.

Then your mother forces your wife to eat something that will physically and medically harm her. What the fuck again. Where were you when all of this is happening? In a coma??? How are you missing and minimizing huge things like this?

Your wife is 100% right in not letting your mother see your children anymore. If your mother acts like this with a grown adult imagine what kind of shit she would try and pull with your kids. God forbid one of them has an allergy or auto immune disease she would kill them and you would defend her.

If she’s walking at 9am then 11pm sounds like a normal bedtime to me. My first had this exact same routine (late sleeper, cat napper) and went to one nap around 18 months/2 years old.

My other kid is almost 2. She’s up around 6am, bedtime is 8pm, she’s transitioning to 1 nap right now around 12 but is struggling because she’s used to napping at 10am.

I will say I know kids who napped until they were 6 yeses old and others who dropped all naps at 1 year old. Kids are different. Try doing one nap and see how your day/night goes!

It IS hard. I’m a recovering people pleaser. Life on this side is so much more relaxed. I don’t worry as much. I stopped caring what their opinions are of me. Honestly it’s been beneficial in my case bc I’ve gotten to know more branches of his extended family and have found people I fit in with and who truly do care about me. That wouldn’t have happened if I stuck around with MIL & SIL.

It’s ok to say “nah I don’t want to go, but you have fun.” Your time is valuable and you do not have to waste it with them if you don’t want to.

Excellent point!

Small kids home = no time for proofreading 😅😂

Nice I like that

Thank you but I can’t take credit- just echoing the advice I’ve seen here and other subs before because I think it’s valuable advice.

The fact that you’re still considering going is crazy to me. MIL & SIL have been nothing but horrible to you. Your husband is a spineless coward who does not stand up for you. Why would you put yourself through another one of their events? Do you think you will enjoy any of it?

Stay home and embrace being the bad guy. Tell them you’re not going and that’s the end of the conversation. You are not obligated to go. You are not obligated to spend time with people that treat you so terribly. Your husband can deal with the fallout. Let him go by himself. Let him keep going by himself until he gets it. Stay home with your rabies and put your IL’s contacts on do not disturb so you’re not bombarded by their manipulative text messages. It’s OK for you to drop the rope with them even if your husband doesn’t agree with it. You do what’s best for you.

If she can’t follow simple directions you’ve given her already there’s absolutely no way you could trust her with something as big as a car seat. either she’s really dumb or is trying to prove a point that she doesn’t have to listen to you. Just don’t put yourself in that situation

Time to two card him- hand him a business card for each a marriage counselor and a divorce lawyer. Let him choose his fate.

You’re right you can’t live like this anymore. You deserve to be happy and your kids deserve a happy mom.

Dude how is this helpful?

As of right now today I would go. I would make it a very fast turnaround and get back home quickly afterward. Your concerns are all valid. Look into trip insurance, a lot can happen between now and October.

….what?

Yep I had 6 after my first pregnancy. I had never even heard of pregnancy effecting dental health up until that point. I remember being really upset over it.

You’re better than me bc I would have swung on her 😅 the mf audacity

“Is Mommy hurting you” would have had me blacking out…wtf is wrong with people

Santa

🏅

I’m annoyed for you

Soooo he wants baby out the bed because he doesn’t want to sleep alone anymore…. make it make sense.

Sorry I don’t have any helpful advice besides telling him to deal with it.

Not overacting. When someone accidentally calls themselves Mom/Dad they are typically quick to realize it and say what they actually meant.

Correct them every single time until they get it. “Daddy?? You mean grandpa? Daddy’s over there…” If they keep it up I’d have DH speak to them about having memory problems lol.

Think about why you want someone like this in your and your child’s life

Does she bring any positive qualities to your lives and do those outweigh the drama, disrespect, and feelings of being used?

You can’t make her apologize but that doesn’t mean your husband has to apologize. I agree with you he hasn’t done anything wrong. She’s emotionally immature and can’t handle when (reasonable) boundaries are set. Sounds like you all need a long break from her.

I feel you on the weekends being your only break from parenting. I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this situation.

I would have him go alone. Keep the kids at home with you. I would be doing everything in my power to prevent the 5 month old from being exposed to anything right now.

Give it a few weeks and then reevaluate. He might have to knock it back once a month and have other family members step up to fill in the gaps