The last time I spent the night with a guy I could not sleep at all because I was too worried about farting in my sleep. It's a big adjustment!

I totally feel you on the adjusting to being with someone. It's just really hard to make the change no matter how much you like a person.

I think intimidating can mean unfriendly.

It feels awkward and makes me reluctant to go on dates, too?

That relationship may burn out fast... or not. Try not to compare yourself!

I moved to Chicago three years ago and I'm feeling like my life is well...sort of embarrassing. I've become friends with some of my coworkers, but otherwise have no close friends here. I am somewhat estranged from most of my family because of conflict related to my mom's dementia and it's all a lot of...ugh. I'm 39 and that this is my life makes me feel like shit. I also find going to social events in which I don't know anyone to be stressful and boring. Anyone else in my shoes? It feels weird.

I agree on trying not to analyze and also really leaning into some self-care! I'm so sorry this happened. It can feel so crappy.

That you are even going to therapy is succh a huge step! A lot of men way older than you are still avoiding it.

You have a lot going on here. Do you have good insurance? It sounds like you would really benefit from a therapist.

There could be a myriad of things going on here. He could have been interested previously but now is dating someone and doesn't want to say. He could be closeted. He could struggle with his self-esteem. Who knows.

Woman here. I think it's easy to say you know what you want fairly quickly, but then things can change especially if the person is new to you. I also think a lot of people, both men and women, are reluctant to truly take the step to a big commitment.

Attractive means different things to different people, so that's worth keeping in mind!

I've not gone on any dates because I've been super depressed, probably due to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). The last two days have been sunnier, so I've been in a better mood, but idk. It's hard to find a balance of focusing on self-improvement and also just wanting someone to like you for you.

Preoccupied anxious and I've found being busy with my job has been effective. It is tough over the summer when I'm less busy. Also a good therapist that you vibe well with has been a godsend. I only started going to regular therapy 5 years ago and I really wish I had started earlier than that.

Would you be willing to try high school, a less litigious district, or one in which you don't do case management? I've found all three to make the job a lot more tolerable.

That "click" can make it seem better than it is too. I dated someone for about a month and then we broke up and I remained friends with him. Years later, I continue to enjoying being his friend, but man is he very immature in some ways and would likely make a terrible long-term partner for me.

Don't kick yourself-these things happen I think. it sounds like it just wasn't right, you know?

I realized it way after I had completed my profile.

It sounds like being friends with him may not be the best idea right now?

I had the wrong age by two years on Okcupid and I always let the guy know in our first chat. I couldn't change it, even though I wanted to.

If they only care about a certain age bracket, yes and lie to get it...

I would probably move on. i'm about your age and I've found guys who are really into finding younger girls have issues. 10 years is not a big age gap, but if they only date women in that age range, they have issues.

That he said he should have asked you out to me seems like a bit of a red flag. i agree with Plus-Power that you need to just ask him what he's feeling.

I started using okcupid and am getting much better responses and better conversations. Matched with 3 men I may go out on a date with soon. The thing is, being a good conversationalist and trying to make all of it work is REALLY draining. I don't really like small talk and am a huge introvert. Ideas to push through?

I'm majorly crushing on a man I briefly dated in another state and talk to everyday. He has told me he is dating someone and I clearly need to just move on. When we dated he broke up with me and I was not upset at all. We agreed to become friends and talked weekly sometimes daily sharing memes, etc. We have become very close recently and it feels weird he contacts me so much, but ultimately I think he is trying to just be a good friend. I'm not sure why I'm so interested in him still- he is 47 and can be very immature though we do have a lot in common. I need to move on and distracting myself is the best option. Not sure why I'm like this.

Good riddance. I'm pretty close friends with two men I previously dated and they would never want to have this conversation with me even as it would probably negatively affect the friendship. This guy is trying to manipulate you into feeling bad about yourself. I would not be surprised at all if he tries to contact you for sex when he is bored.