AITA for buying my sister the correct size shirt for her birthday?
It was her birthday and I saw a cute shirt I thought she’d like. But the thing about my sister is she’s a little bit overweight but in severe denial about it to the point where she doesn’t own a single piece of clothing that actually fits her and she squeezes into smalls and mediums. It looks so uncomfortable and I’ve seen people in public point and laugh at her and that really bothers me. She’s overweight due to a health issue and not her diet. She’s got a lot of mental health issues and the weight denial is really just the tip of the iceberg but I’m not gonna spill all of her business. Everyone around her is afraid to rock the boat and panders to her delusional thinking. That’s not my business and I typically just stay neutral and stay out of it.
When I asked her what she wants for her birthday she said she wanted cute new summer clothes. I couldn’t bring myself to buy her something way too small so I had to guess her size and went with an extra large top. Long story short shit hit the fan and the party turned into fiasco with her sobbing and declaring to the whole room that she’s skinny and that she’s skinny and that she can’t believe I how I can’t see how I could think something in an extra large would be an appropriate size. Our parents and other siblings are saying I should have just gotten the size that she identifies as which is a small or medium and now I’m being treated like I did this vile heinous thing and that I tried to hurt her on purpose.
I honestly think she needs to face reality and get into therapy and accept her body as it is but that’s non of my business but it is my opinion. I think living that way is problematic. I would say lose weight but it is legitimately a hormonal issue diagnosed by a doctor. Maybe she could be treated for it…idk. But either way i don’t think delusional thinking is the solution. Am I the asshole?
Call me crazy but this whole thing is dogwhistley as fuck. You've got to be shitting me with the "size she identifies as." Not even a case of if my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bicycle. It's just right there
I love how in the first half she talks all this shit about her sister squeezing into too small clothing/people pointing and laughing, her being in denial, but then goes on to say "she has a lot of mental health issues but I won't expose her like that." Bitch you just did and on reddit too 😂 like what?
why not just... cut the tag off? like if you know shes sensitive about it. i know its not real but even in this fiction op seems like she wants to start conflict.
anyways fat ppl know what size we are. this whole delusional fat person thing is just made up. if this story has even a grain of truth i bet op got mad at seeing a fat girl wear a crop top or a baby tee or low rise jeans or something even if she wouldnt care if a skinny girl wore those same clothes
Also women, and esp. fat women since the distribution can vary so much, know that women's sizes are wonky and a XL at one store could be a medium at another, but fit the same. Sizes don't matter at some point, just the fit lmao.
I just commented exactly that. IF it’s real then maybe adress the issue with the sister at some point, but it a her birthday! Get her a book and let her enjoy her birthday
If she were real...if she's based on a real person..maybe she wears clothes tighter or more fitted than op thinks she should. People think fat people need to hide ourselves in tents.
Good point. Also, I know there’s some grey area where a size smaller could just be a bit tight — but if I’m XL in a given store, a small wouldn’t be tight, it’s not physically getting on. The whole story is weird.
It's probably fake but body dysmorphic disorder could cause someone to perceive themselves as thinner than they actually are, and if that's the case then the sister needs professional help, not being blasted by judgmental strangers on reddit that want to laugh about the delusional fat person narrative.
BDD generally makes the person believe they are much larger than they are or that they are less muscular than they are (muscle dysmorphia) and they obsessively try to change that.
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u/salemedusaI’m uncomfortable because it makes me super Uncomfortable2d ago
I gained 35lb from pregnancy and breastfeeding for 2 years and didn’t realize how much I had really gained and how different I looked until I lost it. Reverse body dysmorphia is real
Hi, just so you know, that is absolutely not even close to the criteria for body dysmorphic disorder. It's a very crippling condition and requires preoccupation with a major perceived flaw that you compulsively obsess over. Ignoring and denying it's a problem is the opposite of what someone would do with BDD.
In the vast majority of cases unless you're a muscle-builder with a specific muscle dysphoria, thinking you're skinnier than you are is absolutely not BDD and would have little do it with it. And it would require that thinking she is skinnier CAUSE her distress. BDD requires compulsive obsessive thoughts about fixing it, something the totally-real-not-fake story never even claims.
I've never, ever met a fat woman who didn't know exactly how big she was, what size she wore, that we need a booth at the restaurant, not a table (my bff), etc.
The only people I've ever met who are delusional about their size are thin women who have gained 10-20+ lbs lol. We will stuff ourselves into that size small if it kills us.
I've never in my entire life met a fat person who thinks they're thin.
I've met fat people who are fine with being fat and wear whatever the hell they want to wear and don't worry about what other people think about it, and I think sometimes other people assume that that means "omg she's obviously delusional and thinks she's thin, because if she knew she was fat she'd NEVER wear that tight dress!" but that's their judgy bullshit, not the fat person's problem
This isn't a "fat people bad" post. This is pretending to be a "fat people bad" post while actually being a "trans people are mentally ill and delusional" post
It is, unfortunately, an “I am going to demonstrate that trans people are mentally ill and delusional by comparing them to fat people who were all already know and agree are bad” post. The well of bigotry is deep.
This is one of those dumb fake stories that becomes more annoying because the main character is OBJECTIVELY an asshole.
It’s her birthday, you know what she wants, and instead you buy her something different, and for what reason? Based on the story you know with absolute certainty this gift is going to upset them, so why buy it?
This could NOT be a more thinly veiled trans allegory - OOP calls it "the size she identifies as", says people point and laugh at her in public, says the family "panders to her delusions", and says she needs to "accept reality and the way her body is". All ripped straight out of the transphobe's playbook.
And the comments are too busy complaining about how delusional fat people are or condescendingly saying he's the ahole because he should have known how delusional fat people are to even remotely pick up on it. Jfc.
A Trans Bad story disguised as a Fat Bad story, lovely. What really happened is OOP bought their trans sibling a shirt from the section associated with the latter's assigned gender at birth.
It's definitely a Trans Bad story, but I think it's trying to say "See, you wouldn't accept someone identifying as a different size, so why do you accept someone identifying as a different gender" as if those were remotely comparable. It's bad faith false equivalency designed to make trans people look delusional.
“It’s a genuine health issue and she has tons of mental health issues and a hormonal imbalance so of course, I would never relentlessly badger her about her weight, except in this post where I call her a delusional fatty who needs to accept the reality of being fat - but, again, I’m not criticizing! I’m just saying that fat people don’t deserve to get gifts that they are completely unable to appreciate, because they’re fat.”
No you fucking haven’t. People wear too-tight clothing all the time, fat or skinny, and nobody cares.
She’s overweight due to a health issue and not her diet.
Unexpected turn of events, but in case you thought we’re doing this to make it feel less “fat bad,” we are not!
When I asked her what she wants for her birthday she said she wanted cute new summer clothes. I couldn’t bring myself to buy her something way too small so I had to guess her size and went with an extra large top.
Just get her a gift card to her favorite clothing shop, and move the fuck on!
This is totally a weird way of trying to cover trans bad, identifies as, with a fat bad story. If this were real and they knew sister had issues with clothing sizes, why wouldn't OOP just buy something that wasn't clothing?
Yeah, like XL isn't even really fat (although it does depend on the brand), it's considered midsize. If she can still physically wear a size small or medium, she's almost certainly not fat. Maybe not stick skinny, but not fat.
13
u/forthescrollsI am a victim of kidnapping+trafficking. U r a victim of poking2d ago
First of all, she’s not fat until she starts breaking furniture.
Second of all, can we talk about this banger of a sentence: “Sobbing and declaring to the whole room that she’s skinny and that she’s skinny”
everytime people in the comments bring up that this person's fictional sister probably has body dysmorphia, because that is the term for when someone sees their body as different than it really is (it's not just Thin Person Thinks They're Fat Disorder), OP continually chimes in with "but i thought body dysmorphia made you think you look worse, not better than you actually do!"
just saying the quiet part out loud at this point that fat people "look worse" than skinny people. lol. lmao even.
Well the real thing is it's not body dysmorphia disorder because it would require her to be DISTRESSED at her belief she is thin and obsess over it as a perceived FLAW in her mind. You're completely right it's the quiet part out loud, but people are so dismissive about BDD, this is not a BDD story. You can have a misrepresentation of your body and NOT have BDD.
I was a size medium. They decided “we’d rather see you in a large,” because “you’re turning into a big girl.”
The reason I was a size large is because I wore a size 7 jeans, “which is a size your mother didn’t wear until after she had kids!”
So I was a large, my mom wore a medium, and my sister was a size small. Because I was fat, my mom had kids, and my little sister was blonde haired and blue eyed, therefore she was cute and was a size small (she should have been a medium/large).
Ironically, I was just in my other sister’s wedding. My dress was a size 16, and I was pregnant. My sister’s dress was a size 24. Can you guess who got called out for having a huge dress that was too tight?
My aunt used to insist on buying me clothes 3 sizes too big when I was in middle school. I’m not saying it caused my body dysmorphia bc Thats always been a thing for me, but it absolutely didn’t help.
This is the final boss of AITA posts. It has it all: evil fat, evil woman, calm and rational OP who's just "concerned about her health", piss-poor grammar and the thinly veiled anti-trans allegory.
If anything id imagine most overweight people have the opposite problem. I'm a bit overweight, and i buy very large clothes, and then act shocked when its too big (tbf I love loose clothes, and i have gerd so it actually does help, but my mum goes nuts that I cant/wont just buy properly fitting clothes).
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In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for buying my sister the correct size shirt for her birthday?
It was her birthday and I saw a cute shirt I thought she’d like. But the thing about my sister is she’s a little bit overweight but in severe denial about it to the point where she doesn’t own a single piece of clothing that actually fits her and she squeezes into smalls and mediums. It looks so uncomfortable and I’ve seen people in public point and laugh at her and that really bothers me. She’s overweight due to a health issue and not her diet. She’s got a lot of mental health issues and the weight denial is really just the tip of the iceberg but I’m not gonna spill all of her business. Everyone around her is afraid to rock the boat and panders to her delusional thinking. That’s not my business and I typically just stay neutral and stay out of it. When I asked her what she wants for her birthday she said she wanted cute new summer clothes. I couldn’t bring myself to buy her something way too small so I had to guess her size and went with an extra large top. Long story short shit hit the fan and the party turned into fiasco with her sobbing and declaring to the whole room that she’s skinny and that she’s skinny and that she can’t believe I how I can’t see how I could think something in an extra large would be an appropriate size. Our parents and other siblings are saying I should have just gotten the size that she identifies as which is a small or medium and now I’m being treated like I did this vile heinous thing and that I tried to hurt her on purpose. I honestly think she needs to face reality and get into therapy and accept her body as it is but that’s non of my business but it is my opinion. I think living that way is problematic. I would say lose weight but it is legitimately a hormonal issue diagnosed by a doctor. Maybe she could be treated for it…idk. But either way i don’t think delusional thinking is the solution. Am I the asshole?
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