Thinking I was NT my entire life has me automasking to the point of delusion and depression. Figuring out i was audhd has really made things from my childhood make sense.

I just don't know how to stop masking, or even understand how I'm masking. Everyone thinks I'm normal and just always melancholy for no reason.

I haven't told anyone about my audhd yet except husband and friend who both agree but idk how to live and know who I am anymore.

I'm just so tired all the time. I feel like I never really know how to rest, and I think I'm totally burned out. I don’t even know how to feel better anymore. I try to tell myself it’ll be okay, but I just can’t seem to see the good in things. I overthink everything, and I get stuck in a really negative headspace. It’s like this constant feeling of not being okay, and it makes everything harder. I’m not really sure what I expect by sharing this, but I just needed to talk about it… maybe someone out there can relate? 🥺

Hi all

Within the past two weeks I have been diagnosed with ASD & ADHD. I had suspected it for a long time but it has still come as a shock to me to be diagnosed with both conditions.

I'm feeling a mixed bag, relieved after finally having some answers but also confused as to what's next. I feel like I'm about to go through that 'mourning period' people speak of. Can anyone share some similar experiences and advice/tips. Thanks

So it’s been like almost a whole year since my last post lol! Thank you to everyone in the comments who were being supportive! I’m 18 now, and like about three months ago I met my now girlfriend who like actually genuinely likes me for me and like isn’t weirded out by my like silly little traits! Hip hip hooray for me! To like any queer ppl on this sub that like feel like they can not find somone who will love them for who they truely are, or like that have been in like a similar situation, TRUST when I say that there is most definitely a person out there that will love you for u! if my weird ahh is capable of being loved romantically, then so are you! idk i was just looking at my old post and thought about updating yall :3!

I’ve spent basically my whole life relying on both memory and self criticism to help me remember to do things. Which I’ve come to realise is why I’m struggling to keep any sort of routine as well as build good habits during the process of learning to unmask.

Does anyone have some anecdotal advice surrounding the usage of calendars, digital/physical planners, journals or whatever it may be that you use. It all comes down to personal preference I guess, but I’m sure there’s gonna be a lot of shared findings throughout the usage of different systems.

So would appreciate any advice regarding this topic, thanks everyone!

Coming from someone who is AuDHD and works in EMS, this is so SO cool. I don’t know exactly how common this “superpower” is within the overall AuDHD community but what she said about a disproportionately high number of EMS/ER staff with ADHD/AuDHD is 100% true. At least 25% of the people in my EMT class had ADHD, and I’ve met countless more ADHD/AuDHD coworkers since then. I don’t really have an opinion on the whole “AuDHD is a superpower!” thing but I absolutely do believe the intense sense of calmness and focus in very stressful situations is akin to a superpower. I’ve dealt with some crazy stuff in my jobs as an EMT so far and the ability for my mind to reach that zen focus locked in state is such an asset. Not to mention it feels SO GOOD. Better than any drug. The crash once things are over does suck though. But anyways I highly highly recommend watching HBO’s The Pitt if you’re AuDHD and work in medicine or are interested in working in medicine. Amazing show.

Link to full article: https://collider.com/the-pitt-episode-14-taylor-dearden/

Someone starts a conversation with you and you engage with them, only for them to edge away saying things like "I won't keep you".."I'll let you get on"....

Making you feel like you are taking their time and preventing them from getting on with something.

Don't come and start a conversation with me!

Hello, I experienced great discomfort with any type of clothing since I was very little. It's gotten better now with some modifications like no longsleeved tops, wide T-Shirts and everything one or two sizes bigger.

Now several years ago I've discovered weighted blankets and sleeping on my stomach to be very comfortable. Also being naked whenever I can.

But very recently I've discovered that when I go to sleep and sometimes during the day my stomach has to be rid of clothing. Like specifically my stomach. I don't know why. Blankets, weighted blankets and stomach sleeping are still good.

I'm just curious, why this sudden impulse to free my stomach. I'm guessing it has something to do with either my autism, hypermobility or hypersensitivity. What do you think?

So I need to send back my laptop to the company for repairs but I'm finding the repacking process to be a nightmare. I ended tearing into and destroying the box they sent to me so I had to buy a new one which I did but the stupid assembly flaps won't stay up and with my motor skill issues and sensory issues taping together that big box sounds really awful. Does anyone know of anywhere I can get preassembled boxes for this on the cheap that won't take ages to show up? Sorry it's just this whole thing is making me very stressed out and sad :(

It can, of course, be extremely difficult - the 'inside you there are two wolves' meme regarding this is no exaggeration. Now that I know I have ADHD as well as autism does make understanding this a little easier, but coping with it isn't always.

But one activity I have found that gives me almost the perfect balance between the need for routine and the need for novelty are reaction videos to films/shows I love. The familiarity is in what's being watched, the novelty is in watching someone experience it for the fast time, and on top of that, you get the confelicity of seeing someone enjoy something great that you also love. Don't overdo parasocial relationships, of course, but I think this is an acceptable joy.

Does anyone else find this helps? What other techniques do you have?

What are your experiences in your friendships with AuDHD individuals, people with 1 of the two conditions, or neither. Have you experimented with the level of “upkeep” you input into your friendships & relationships?

Do you think this truly applies to friendship links/circles where all involved individuals are neurodivergent?

If this idea does apply to us, do you think we apply this differently to how neurotypical people apply it?

About four years ago I (22, AFAB) got diagnosed with ASD. And about two years ago I got diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. The psychologist told me that I actually portray signs of the ADHD combination type, but that my fidgeting and constant moving can be explained by my previous ASD diagnosis.

As someone who is a social scientist themselves and who has done hours and hours of (unofficial) research on neurodiversity, I personally believe that it is pretty bizarre that such a clear line is drawn between diagnoses. My brain is ONE thing, and so is my neurodiversity. Sure, my neurodiversity differs from that of others, and I am glad to be diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD. But this "oh your autism caused this ADHD symptom, so it's actually not an ADHD symptom" seems so oversimplified and straight up lazy to me. What if I was diagnosed with ADHD first? Would they have revised this diagnosis if I later got diagnosed with autism? Maybe my constant movement is a symptom two disabilities that can, and often do, overlap.

What are your opinions on this demarcation between diagnoses?

So, a short while ago, I asked people how to broach the subject to my GP because I suspected an autistic burnout. Got some good advice.

What I was afraid of, was me not reacting/behaving as expected, like being emotional, and therefore not believed. Well, I worried for nothing (as per usual). I went to the GP on Wednesday and broke down before I was even halfway my first sentence. She is brilliant, which is why I waited 2 weeks to get an appointment as I only wanted to go to her.

She just asked me about why I thought so, as in how it bothered/affected me and believed me right away.

So, as of Wednesday, I have been officially diagnosed with autistic burnout...yaay me (sarcasm). I realised on Thursday that I was actually diagnosed on World Autism Awareness Day...oh the irony.

Anyway, in case anyone read that earlier post and wanted to know the outcome - voilà.

I was bored, so I made those drawings of the AuDHD icon, and after finding out about Ibis’s filters I put some on, wish one if your favorite?

Hey guys! I'm f 17 and I got diagnosed with autism about a year ago but have had adhd in my ring for a while.. Recently the weight of everything has been crushing down on me and I really need advice on how others deal with this feeling? I know there's no way to undo being audhd and generally I'm pretty proud of being neurodivergent! But lately I can't handle anything, I'm tired of being in some sort of physical and mental turmoil. my bf constantly is asking what's wrong and I just shrug and say idk im over stimulated or I'm just "not feeling good". It's genuinely making me depressed again (I've been diagnosed with depression for years.) I also got diagnosed with bipolar but I don't personally relate at all and feel closer to bpd . Anyways I've been so emotional and stressed and idk how to keep going. I'm usually pretty good at masking and coping with my symptoms but lately the more I get them the harder they are to control. I've never really been a physically violent person (I don't think I physically could do to my small frame) But I've started melting down in my room and throwing things that don't matter at the wall.. (and some hitting my skin) I know it's not ok I just get into this mindset and the more often I get upset the worse it's gotten and it's honestly embarrassing. How do you guys deal with being audhd and not exploding..

(sorry for the long post I needed to get it out)

Hello, I’ve been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and have some autistic traits (though I’m not sure if they’re enough for a diagnosis). I struggle a lot with social anxiety and hate speaking in groups, so I usually stay quiet even if I have something to say — especially in larger groups like classrooms or when meeting new people. However, I’m generally good at one-on-one conversations. I find it hard to follow group discussions and I’m afraid of being judged for what I say or how I say it. Has anyone else managed to overcome this fear or get rid of social anxiety in general? I’ve read that social anxiety often comes with autism and that it can be hard to “cure.” Have anxiety medications helped anyone, or completely gotten rid of the anxiety? I’d really appreciate any advice that could help. I am desperate and want to function normal socially.

I'm looking for an app with all-encompassing planning functionality - something meant for AuDHD brains like Tiimo, with more of the drag and drop for tasks and auto-rearranging time blocking like Motion (instead of having to manually change the timing of my tasks every time something takes longer than expected, I get into hyperfocus, etc.), and that has a routine function like Routinery. I want to be able to drag my morning routine into the calendar and have it time me through it like Routinery does, and then build the rest of my day with tasks, and then drop my evening routine into the day after task-completion time is done. I also definitely need the ability to create different levels of routines (in my Routinery, for example, I have short, medium, and regular length morning routines because changing capacity is so real in autistic burnout and spoonie life). If I could choose a sound (ideally pretty chill sounds that won't startle me) to prompt me to the next thing too, that would be grand. Oh, and I would love to be able to choose at the end of a task, to extend it or move on to the next item, for times when I hyperfocus. Also without having to interact with Tiimo for the task to change and no sounds, I definitely am not actually moving onto the next task with any regularity. Need a Google Calendar integration as well (two-way would be best) and for it to work on Apple iOS. Notion integration would be a 'nice to have' but not essential. Is this a dream or does it actually exist?

I've tried so many systems (ClickUp, Asana, Trello, etc.) and it never works for my brain. Most recently, I've tried Twos and it's nowhere close to what I described above. I just downloaded YooDoo but you have to pay to try it (no free trial). Tiimo's the closest I've seen to what I need but there's a couple things I just described that it's missing. I'm looking into Amazing Marvin too and it looks like it's got tons of functions but also looks slightly overwhelming (if you have tried it, I would love to know your experience).

What do you use and like? Thanks in advance!

(Also if it doesn't exist and some developer wants to take these ideas, please do, because my brain needs this lol)

Considering that a lot of their culture revolves around sitting in uncomfortable positions and sitting still especially because this is based around keeping possible traitors in check, it must've been a hell of life if you had ADHD.

If you have stories, please infodump to me

25m, I have been on a weightlifting journey for a little over a month now. I am pretty overweight and looking to make a lifestyle change. I have a habit of posting on reddit about my journey, asking for advice and having a bit of debate etc. But this comment genuinely made me the angriest I have ever been online and I've been through some shit lmao.

Like it's embarrassing to post this here even because it's so meaningless but it's the first time I've felt properly offended. So this tosspot as we'll call him (I'll tell you the real name I called him later), commented on a post I made about dieting as my diet is terrible. He went on this long-winded nonsensical boomer rant about how "YOUR PARENTS HAVE MADE YOU INTO A MANCHILD! GO TO A DIETICIAN HE CAN HELP YOU" then went on about how "Notice OP didn't mention a father? That must mean he was absent! Therefor unless he's dead there's no excuse! Your parents failed you!". Just because I said my mum buys junk food a lot and that certain textures make me throw up. Like beans, broccoli, carrots etc. Literally activate my gag reflex and I cant swallow them.

I know this guy could probably fold me in half, but I wanted to rip his throat out after reading that. Normally things like this bounce off since you know, autism and all. But the fact this guy was so ignorant when I'd mentioned I was autistic several times just infuriated me. Like WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? The ironic thing is, he's completely wrong in everything he spouted. My folks did the best they could for me as who knows how to deal with an autistic kid when it wasn't really well known about at the time. Plus the things we've had to go through the past five years really struck a nerve with me. I am a loner and have no social life so family is all I have. They're great and I love them, we stick together through everything.

So I wrote back a big message calling him every single slur and name under the sun. I put some real effort into it. Every single gymbro stereotype was thrown out and then some. The best one being "Knuckle-dragging c*ntbag" I don't care if I get banned, hell I've deleted everything now because I quickly calmed down after sending it and knew it was too far. But idk if anyone has ever had this before here? It truly struck a chord with me that nothing has in a long time.

People like him are why I wont join a gym and workout at home with my own equipment. Because he is the stereotypical manosphere moron. The type that's so stuck in the notion that being a mouthbreathing bore who's only thought pattern is that of a png of chicken and rice bouncing around like a DVD logo in that cavernous void that is his skull. That he cant even FOR ONE SECOND IMAGINE HOW LIVES ARE DIFFERENT THAN HIS OWN.

Anyway the guy is a buffoon. But yeah it really got a rise out of me. Still I'll go back to lifting on monday in my garage, happy to be making progress. Gymbros are di*ks. Thanks a bunch bye

Had to take my rabbit to the vet yesterday. She had to get surgery, so I asked the vet:

"When are you doing the surgery?"

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"Okay, but - can you be more specific please? It's just that-"

What I wanted to say was, "I like having some idea of a time schedule because I have autism", but what came out was:

"I like having autism."

I have this exam coming up and I’m finding it near impossible to just sit down and read the text. I can’t get in the right headspace and I’m just wondering how you guys do it.

If you’ve ever stared at a book for hours, read the same paragraph five times, and still couldn’t tell someone what it said — I’ve been there. For years, reading felt impossible. I blamed myself, thought I was lazy or just not a “reader.” But after getting diagnosed with ADHD, I started experimenting with different tools and strategies. What finally worked wasn’t more discipline — it was changing how I approached reading. If you’re struggling too, here are the books, apps, and mindset shifts that actually helped.
Books that helped:
ADHD 2.0
 This book helped me understand my brain instead of constantly blaming myself. It’s science-based but super accessible.
How to Read a Book
 Sounds silly, but it’s surprisingly helpful. It teaches you how to approach different kinds of reading, especially when you don’t have the energy or focus to read cover to cover.
Dopamine Nation
 Really eye-opening on how we seek constant stimulation, and why it’s so hard to stay with one task—like reading.
Tools I use:
iPhone Reminders
 Simple and built-in. I use it for prompts like “read 10 minutes before bed.” Downside: I tend to ignore the notifications after a while.
Libby
 Free audiobooks and ebooks from the library. Great for listening while doing chores or commuting. Makes me feel productive without trying too hard.
BeFreed
 I found this in an ADHD subreddit and it honestly changed the game for nonfiction reading. It lets you choose how deep you want to go—10-minute summaries, 40-minute deep dives, or even storytelling versions for dense books. It tracks your highlights and recommends books based on your goals. I still read fiction the traditional way, but for self-help or productivity books, this has been really helpful. And it’s free.
Bookly
 A reading tracker app that logs your progress and gives you small goals. I find it motivating to see streaks and minutes add up.
Speechify
 When I can’t sit and read, I scan a page and have it read aloud. Helps me get through books I’d otherwise abandon.
What’s helped me the most is letting go of the idea that I have to finish every book. Reading even a few pages or listening to a short summary is better than nothing. I’m still experimenting, so if you’ve got ADHD-friendly reading recs or apps you love, I’d love to hear them.

Hello, AuDHD community! I’ve found immense peace and a sense of belonging while scrolling through this community. I thought I’d share some of my thoughts and see if anyone else can relate or offer advice. I’m currently using voice-to-text because I realize it’s the easiest way to express my thoughts without any masking.

Let me start by saying I’m a 27-year-old female senior manager in a leadership role. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and have suspected autism as well. I also CPTSD. The social expectations and cues in this position are overwhelming, and I constantly struggle to meet them. I feel the pressure to always have the right thing to say, be mindful of power dynamics, and avoid being too friendly while still being friendly enough. I am constantly masking, mirroring others, and pleasing everyone. It’s exhausting.

Tonight I spent three hours overthinking and trying to respond to a colleague’s anniversary post on Slack. Rephrasing every single word a million times and overthinking the tone and timing and how I was going to be perceived.

I’m close friends with this person, but she’s also in a leadership position. I’m technically slightly above her, and I was already two days late responding in the Slack thread. It’s Friday night after work, and 6 to 8 PM. I thought, “Okay, this is too late. I’ll be perceived as a leader who’s working too late.” But if I send it on Saturday, I’ll be seen as a leader working on the weekend. It’s a Catch-22. I don’t want to set a bad example, but if I post this on Monday, it’ll be too late. So, what’s the greater risk? I’ve been overthinking everything, making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not just in my leadership position; there are so many expectations placed on me that I can’t handle it.

I keep trying to figure out if I can even be in a leadership position with AuDHD. I constantly rephrase every message, and I know that’s also from trauma. But it’s so debilitating. I also can’t figure out how to address people. Do I say “Hi hi’” “hey” “hiya”, “hi queen”, “hi angel”, “hi bb”, oh my gos… The list goes on because at work, we’re friends and colleagues, but I’m struggling to constantly figure out my relationships with each person.

Then, when I’m in a group on Zoom, I get so stressed out because I have a one-on-one relationship with each person in that room. I don’t know how to act.

The bottom line is that I’m not in touch with my authentic self. I’m constantly masking and mirroring to fit in, and it’s absolutely exhausting. I wonder if anyone else has similar experiences. I’ve cried so much tonight. I’m overwhelmed, overstimulated, and burnt out. But then I get to this place and let myself dissociate for the weekend, but then I come back to my mountain of stress, and it’s been a cycle like this for about a month and a half. It’s just so debilitating. I don’t see a way out. I’m trying to figure out if I want ADHD medicine, anxiety medication, or what to do. I’ve never been on medication before, but I need something that can help me manage my symptoms. However, I also don’t want to over-identify with all these negative feelings because I know that over-identifying with them can create my reality. And that’s what’s been happening to me. So, I also know that I need to visualize a different way of life, living, breathing, working, and existing in this world. But when I try to visualize success or more positive things, it feels so unsafe for me. So, I get scared and don’t even want to visualize. Everything seems all or nothing, and it’s debilitating.

I would love to know if you’ve had any similar experiences. Sending love out to you all <3