Two years of hell - dpdr, feeling like a zombie, not being able to recognize myself, feeling like I'm in a dream head pressure, dizziness, confusion, sleepiness, anxiety, feeling high without smoking, not being able to function and foucs has ended. I used to be completely normal, stress free and happy and then a wave used to hit me and it used to make me useless for rest of the day. This happened few hours after I woke up everyday.

What helped a little - Wellbutrin - started 150xl and then upped to 300xl after a week. First week was rough but then it started getting better. It was 60% better but still there. I started taking it before sleeping and it was a game changer.

I read in a forum that aspirin helps. I chewed an aspirin (low dose, the one that is used to prevent strokes) before sleeping and even though I only slept very less which is a big big trigger for very intense dpdr waves, I didn't get get it. I was completely normal. All my usual triggers like food, exercise, less sleep etc. didn't trigger it. I didn't dare to try caffeine tho.

I believe aspirin is helping me more than Wellbutrin. Maybe my brain had inflammation of some kind. I say this because last year ginkgo biloba helped me as well but not as much as aspirin. Mine dpdr started after weed abuse, precisely after I quit smoking.

I'll take low dose aspirin forever if it keeps my dpdr away. It's been 7 days dpdr free after suffering for 2 years. It was absolute hell.

I'm so happy !!

When i am just sitting on couch and watching tv i just look around and seeing everything is so uncomfortable and overwhelming that i need to wear sunglasses. It's like i can't handle to see world because its so intense. Is it normal with dr? Or can it be something wrong with my eyes?

I don’t feel like this was traumatic to me, but if it was, what can I do about it? And how do I know if it was not traumatic

I'm a 20-year-old guy, and I'm starting to suspect I might have depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR). About a month ago, I broke my arm, and I felt really down because I couldn't go to the gym, party, or drink alcohol – things I usually do with my friends.

However, last Friday, I decided to drink for the first time since my month-long break. I ended up drinking quite a bit and left the club at 5 AM with some unfamiliar people. We went to their apartment, and they had a bong. They claimed it had cannabis, but I don't know the strain or if it was pure. I’ve smoked cannabis before, but this was my first time using a bong.

After taking two long hits, I suddenly felt something was "right," but I couldn't articulate it, and then I lost touch with reality. I couldn’t think logically, questioning why anything existed and feeling like I was stuck somehow. I went outside and started walking, but it felt like I was going in circles, always ending up back in the same place and i had to keep going because if i stopped the bad people would get me and i would die.

As I walked, I saw people approaching, but their faces all looked "the same" and "plasticine," and I felt like they were staring at me, wanting to hurt me. During that experience, it felt like it lasted an eternity, like years. I thought "demons" were trying to trick me and i just heard sounds i cant put them into words but they just felt negative nad demonic. somehow i realized something was wrong through touching my phone, but I couldn’t speak or use it.

Then I thought that if I just lay down and didn’t listen to the sounds or focus on the people I was seeing, I could escape that "dimension." While lying on the ground, I saw people walking towards me, and in my head, I believed they wanted to hurt me. I told them to go away, saying that I knew they only wanted to do bad things to me, and then I hit one of those people in the face. I'm not even sure if that happened for real.

After a while, I heard someone asking if I was okay and if they needed to call for help. They suggested calling an ambulance, and I replied, "Go ahead and call it if it saves me." A moment later, the ambulance arrived, but the paramedics looked just like the other people, and I thought they were part of some plan to make me go crazy and die.

I got in the ambulance, and they told me I didn’t need it, calling the police instead. The police took me in their car, and I ended up sleeping the night in a holding cell.

Now, it’s been almost two days since that night, and nothing feels real. I can think and know I actually exist, but everything still feels fake, as if that experience revealed the true reality of the world, and I can’t go back to normal life. I remember everything that’s happened in my life, but that experience feels much bigger than anything I've felt before.

I told a friend about it, but he didn’t really understand what I went through, and it’s hard to explain that experience. I just don't feel normal or real anymore. The whole experience lasted for about an hour.

What do i do and will this go away?

Dear Community,

I am 25 years old and struggling with severe visual distortions. My perception is unstable—objects like my heater seem to warp, grow and shrink simultaneously, and stationary things appear to move from left to right. Faces morph, doors and walls seem to shift closer or move sideways, and I also experience depersonalization and derealization. Additionally, I suffer from Jamais-vu, where familiar things suddenly feel strange and unfamiliar.

I’m wondering if this could be classic Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AIWS)? About nine years ago, I had a drug-induced psychosis with similar symptoms. Additionally, my vision is distorted in a way that when I focus on an object, my entire visual field blurs or warps. My spatial awareness and visual imagination are also impaired—everything feels distorted.

This all started a year ago after experiencing several panic attacks, excessive gaming, consuming a lot of energy drinks, and vaping. Could there be a connection? Doctors have suggested a possible psychosis, but I don’t hear voices or have delusions—just these intense visual disturbances. I've tried five different medications, none of which have helped at all.

Out of desperation, I illegally obtained Clonazepam, which surprisingly alleviates all my symptoms—but I know that’s not a long-term solution. My EEG and MRI showed no abnormalities, which makes this even more frustrating. Recently, I have also been experiencing ocular migraines, and I wonder if there is a connection between all of this. I have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow, hoping to finally get some clarity and a proper diagnosis.

I’m becoming increasingly suicidal because of this. I don’t understand why something like this had to happen to me.

Best regards.

I know this goes COMPLETELY against the common experience, but this is how it happened to me and I really want to hear others' thoughts.

For context: I had severe derealization starting around age 12, lasting through most of my teens. In my mid-teens, I had a few "break-troughs" when with meditation or such I would feel normal for short periods of time, but not always. Weirdly, when I started smoking weed (in moderation) in my late teens, I noticed something: while I was high, I associated the feeling with my childhood self, so the time before derealization hit. But the real surprise was that after coming down, I’d feel more present than before.

It wasn’t consistent, and I never smoked heavily, maybe once a month, with a few binge-y weeks 2-3 years ago. But overtime along with other mental work, it actually helped me recover from my chronic derealization. I still get occasional episodes when I'm very stressed or sick, but it's more of an exception than a rule.

I’m definitely not recommending this to others, but I’m wondering if anyone else had something similar? Is this purely a psychological thing, like remembering what normal feels like, or could it be something about how weed (or CBD?) interacts with anxiety pathways?

Curious to hear thoughts, as I couldn't research much about this.

Anyone have dpdr from neurotoxic poison antipsychotics? Forced

I'm literally at the end of my rope. 3 years of this. Every single day is the same. Every single second. I can't even feel anxiety anymore, I can't feel anything. I don't even feel alive.

I wish my life didn't end up like this, I worked so hard to overcome my past and live a good life, now I'm being punished. No therapy, med or time has changed this. At least when I had panic, I knew what this was. I don't panic, I don't feel anxious, I don't feel shit.

My life is no longer my own and hasn't been in a very long time. I just do everything just to survive - there's no other purpose. Financially, physically and emotionally suffering every single day, I just don't see the point anymore. I lost my health insurance because I couldn't afford it, I'm behind on all my bills, I'm doing everything I can do pick up work and keep things going - but I don't see a point anymore, dying feels like it would be better than this. I've never been suicidal but I don't know what else to do.

Im weak 24/7, I don't smile, I don't laugh, I don't feel joy or connection, I can't even cry. I don't feel fear, or anxiety, I feel literally nothing. I can't even get angry.

I'm so fed up. I can't live this way. I've done my best, and I'm just too tired. Nothing is getting better, it's getting worse and worse. My mind feels like mush, I can't process time, seasons, holidays, I have no sense of self or inner monologue. I'm just a shell of nothing, and there's no point in living like this. No doctor or therapist has been able to help me. I can't believe this is my life, even IFS/somatic therapy isn't helping.

I was out with mum and cousin today and nothing significant happened, but as we were just sitting in a restaurant I just didn't want to speak. I felt completely numb to everything, to all conversation, couldn't engage if I tried. This happens often but there's usually a trigger. Today the sun felt brighter and hotter, my surroundings seemed like I wasn't really walking in them, and I wasn't connecting with anyone.

I came home and mum gave me shit for acting like a zombie. After that I felt like my house wasn't my house, I looked in the mirror and felt like a stranger. My hands felt far. The conversations in the restaurant felt like they never happened, the conversation my mum and i had at home ever happened it seemed.I sat on the floor and tried to ground myself because idk why but I was feeling completely overwhelmed by nothing.

I'm now sitting on the floor, don't know when the tears started, and I feel exhausted. This has been happening for years but this sort of thing happened after many many months. Do you just have to keep going through it? It has already affected my relationships at home and my self-esteem as well. I don't know myself without this zombie feature. But I wish I could make it go away. I'm tired of feeling this way.

^

constantly feels this way , like my conscious experience or the “me” in my mind/body is about to get “deleted” in a way. to the point where there is no me anymore or even knowing that i am a conscious human being. or what anything is. that’s not possible right lol?

hello,

i just wanted to share my dp dr story and maybe have some people help with it. 2 months ago, i smoked weed for the first time and had a severe panic attack in the next 10 mins of smoking that joint, i remember feeling unreal, just dying, my head was spinning like crazy, and i couldn't say a word. i've never had a panic attack before, that was my first one, and tbh? i dont even know if it even was a panic attack but i surely had an attack that day. and ever since, my life changed, and my vision too. the following days i had brain fog, i couldn't walk properly it felt like my head was so heavy, and i couldnt look around without being scared of everything around me. ive seen a psychologist, therapist, doctor and the doctor gave me meds to stop the panic attacks and ive been on those for two months.

if yall want an explanation of how i feel everyday, is basically as if i was looking around with my eyes closed but im actually seeing things. i feel very disconnected from the things around me, and i feel stuck in an actual loop. when i look around, it doesn't hit the same i feel as if everything is fake, like im stuck in a dream. i stopped working, eating properly, i can't even do anything because that feeling is constantly there. my vision is blurry, i feel sick at times i even get bad diahrrea. i honestly never felt so bad in my life. this shit ruined me, im seeing a psychiatrist next week, hope it'll maybe help. i can't even look at my family members, they seem so unreal to me. everything does and that scares me even more, but i feel better sharing it here.

Hope i can get some people feeling the same as i do.

i am scared because i feel like i don’t fit to symptoms people describe most of the time but i also fit no other criteria for the ones i do describe. i just dont wanna feel alone anymore. i feel completely off. i dont feel like i am actually “in a dream” i don’t feel like i am asleep, i just feel out of it 24/7. i feel sick because my anxiety is so bad all the time because of this. i feel only 50% conscious. i live on autopilot idk how i work a full time job and drive.

anyone else experience memory issues/brain fog?! makes me feel like i’m gonna lose it

(18M)the last 6 months my mental health and state has been so terrible. (i have also had several deaths in my life recently) This all started after i had been at a concert that i was anxious to go to because it was a big weed smoking crowd and the venue was like a hotbox. i have experienced DPDR and psychotic symptoms from weed use in the past and i have stayed away from it for months.

At the concert i was convinced i was second hand high and basically went nuts and freaked out and couldn’t breathe. and since then i’ve just been spiraling. i’ve tried therapy, meds and everything, nothing works and im so scared this is the end and im just going to snap and my life will be over. I don’t believe in my own existence i don’t believe that others have this awareness that i do, i feel like i am living on auto pilot and all memories feel like dreams that didn’t happen. People are distorted and sometimes my brain forgets who i am around. I am also so paranoid about irrational things but my brain can’t escape it.

I worry that this is permanent or if i talked my self into this, i have had OCD and anxiety since i was about 9.

Thank you for reading

I’m coming down from a shrooms trip where I made an ass out of myself at A public event. Couldn’t hold a sentence, had a panic attack, couldn’t understand English for a bit. I’m a fighter and I’ve had a concussion recently I’m wondering if this trio has onset something in me. I feel a brain fog coming and this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced a bad trip like this. I’m not sure if I’m okay.

I can't process anything, think clearly, feel emotions, numb, lifeless. Even when I close my eyes to sleep, I have nothing but a bunch of random words and gibberish's in my head. My inner inner monologue is gone, my ability to think about complex things, my ability to process what I'm feeling and why, the ability to just have peace and quiet in my head. I feel like my brain has just stopped working - it's keeping me alive but that's it, all other functions are like mush.

Had 'seizures' or fits in my teens, now it's been over 10 years with this (no therapy, tried SSRI but eh, caused by IDK trauma I guess)

Now I'm dealing with a new wave of all kinds of difficult stuff and I found new feelings towards my dissociation: Relief and gratitude!

Logically I've felt okay with my DPDR for a long time. It "had made sense" that my brain feels overwhelmed and I struggle to grasp reality because it's too much to handle emotionally. I want to say it's for the first time ever (although many things seem to feel that way even if I've gone through them before) I felt grateful for not having to feel this all. It made me oddly hopeful, because I've of course as most of us have tried to fight it.

Just wanted to get this out of my system, had forgotten about this community :)

Not going to write a super long post but ive had dpdr for 6 years after a weed brownie. Its been chronic 24/7 since then. But recently i got diagnosed with MCAS which is a real diagnosis not some alternative medicine bullshit.

In Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), overactive mast cells release excessive amounts of histamine and other chemicals, which can lead to "brain fog" due to potential effects on brain function and blood flow, as well as contributing to fatigue and cognitive difficulties.

I found a good allergist to prescribe me cromolyn, one of the main treatments. At the moment im taking about half of the max dosage for my weight (4 ampules 5 times daily) and everytime I take it I feel more grounded for an hour after. I dont snap back to reality but for the first time in 6 years something is truly making me feel somewhat better. Im not forcing brain retraining to ignore my thoughts and symptoms they just calm the fuck down.

In that hour I feel less irritable, less confused, my thoughts arent racing, and my vision is more normal and less derealization. Ive been on it for 3 months and Im still working up to the max dosage so hopefully ill continue to see longer term gains as my body calms down. Go to r/mcas if you are curious.

Is there any doctor out there that just might have a knowledge of what went wrong and how to treat this debilitating condition? I only have derealization. Anyone you’ve seen that helped you?

Does ANYTHING cure this or is suicide the only way out? I’m at Witt’s end? Enough is enough.

Has bupropion been of use to people suffering with chronic DPDR? Specifically regarding cognitive problems. Like trouble paying attention, sustained focus, active memory, memory recall, brain fog, feeling like your cognitive processing is slow (Trouble reading/understanding. like a jammed signal) etc. I apologize if I've repeated symptoms. Please mention if you have depression, or something like ADHD that might be relevant to consider.

(been suffering for 5 years or so). 17f

I'm coexisting, it's always there. But two days ago i had the worst panic attack of my life i literally felt i was floating afterwards. After that i couldn't focus on anything at all and my dr hit so hard.

I even caused harm on some child by accident. I was in an elevator and didn't see him try to enter so I didn't hold the door for him and unfortunately the door hit his shoulder, (he is okay but this could have been avoided)

And I'm preparing for life deciding exams. I have to study very well, but ever since my panic attack i can't focus properly at all. At all. And i need urgent help. Time isn't waiting for me and I'm ruining my future, please tell me what to do.

Before the panic attack i was doing great, but afterwards everything is so surreal and overwhelming and overall scary.

Side note: I'm also dealing with horrifying intrusive thoughts.

Ever since 9 months ago after an weed edible and bad experience, I’ve felt very weird, it’s 10x worst when I’m walking around and so much worse doing exercise. It feels like when I walk I feel confused about how I’ve got from one place to another, even if it’s simply that I’ve taken one step or looked from left to right. My reaction speeds are still very quick as they always have been but it’s as if I need time to process what’s physically happening, like when a bee was flying at me this morning I ducked out the way then half a second later I didn’t know what just happened, even though I was very aware of what I did… it’s very strange and I struggle to describe it. I also feel disconnected from my body and touching sensations feel delayed. It’s almost completely normal when I’m either on my phone or watching the tv and I guess that’s my comfort zone because it’s where I feel the best. I do spend as much time as possible outside but I’m not sure if this is DPDR or something else like neck/eye related instead. This is basically my only symptom which has been the whole time. I don’t see the world distorted, everything looks normal.