How do I stop hating myself?

[u/IsopropylMyriad]

I know that people make mistakes and life is about ups and downs but lately it has just felt like a LOT of downs. With relationships, work, friendships--It feels like all I do is make mistakes and end up feeling terrible about myself. Then my therapist tells me that in order to stop this messed up loop i need to have compassion for myself and love myself and stop hating myself and give myself credit, cut myself some slack, etc. But I feel like i'm constantly surrounded by more and more evidence that i'm an overall mediocre at best, extremely annoying at least human. Evidence that suggests i do nothing but make mistakes and say the wrong thing and care about the wrong thing, take things too personally, don't take it personally enough and do too much of this and not enough of that etc etc its always wrong. And its not like terrible all the things i do i'm not out here committing crimes or something--but it's bad enough to cost me my friends and my place in my boss's standards and it just feels like I don't have any reason not to dislike myself and feel like I'm to common denominator. I just feel like to my very core i'm just unfortunately very annoying and dumb and just have the characteristics of a bad person just not someone SUPER bad like i'm not a murderer, but bad enough to just be someone nobody wants around or values.

How am I supposed to like myself if it feels that way?

and if the key to solving all this is liking myself and valuing myself, how do i overcome this fucked up catch 22?

[u/selfdestructiveaf]

I feel you! I have a bad tendency to compare myself to other people. “I did this, but someone else did that so I must not be good enough”. I’ve gotten much better about completely separating my life from everyone else’s and it’s made me SO much happier, with my life and with myself in general.

I struggled with a deep self hatred for YEARS. Constantly upset because of how I looked, acted, talked. I genuinely deeply hated everything about me.

It gets better with time and it will NOT happen over night, but small changes can make a big difference. No 2 peoples’ lives are the same. No 2 people are the exact same, whether it be in looks, personality, or thoughts. It’s not fair to compare your life to ANYONE else’s because no one else is living YOUR life.

Start to acknowledge the good things you do. Instead of ONLY seeing the bad days or the mistakes, see the good too and it will start to balance out.