There’s a lot I wish I could have said to you at different points in our relationship, and even after it ended. Things I couldn’t quite express in the moment, or maybe I didn’t know how to say them in a way that would make sense. But I think it’s important for me to be honest with myself and, in turn, with you now.

I wish I could have told you that, despite the ups and downs, I always cared deeply about you. That I tried to be there for you in ways I thought would make a difference, even when it felt like we were drifting apart. But I also wish I could have told you that I couldn’t always take on the emotional weight of the relationship by myself. I wish I could have stood up for my own needs and boundaries earlier on, before things got too tangled.

I wanted you to see me as more than just someone you could reach out to when you needed comfort, but someone who also deserved care, honesty, and attention. There were times when I felt invisible in our relationship, like my feelings were an afterthought. And I wish I could have told you that it hurt — it hurt that I kept pouring love into something that was one-sided at times.

I also wish I had the courage to tell you just how deeply I was hurting long before everything fell apart. But I didn’t know how, or I didn’t want to push you away. I was afraid of losing what we had. So I kept quiet, hoping things would get better, but I let things fester.

Most of all, I wish I could have told you how much I needed you to be honest with me. I wanted to trust you, but trust takes time and effort from both sides, and I was left waiting for that effort to be shared. It wasn’t just about the lies; it was about the emotional distance, the things unsaid, and the feeling of being alone even when we were together.

I wanted more than just fleeting moments of connection. I wanted real conversations, real and deep understanding, and the chance to build something strong — not based on broken trust or hidden truths, but on mutual respect and openness and without judgement.

I wish I could have told you that I needed more than what we had. But, I think I finally understand that I needed that for myself — that I needed to learn to value myself and my worth first.

There’s a part of me that will Always love and care for you. You were an important chapter of my life — someone I shared laughter with, small and big moments, and dreams for what could have been. I don’t regret caring for you. I don’t regret our time together. In fact, I’m grateful that I did. I’m grateful for those times.

You brought light into my life at times when I needed it, and for that, I’ll always hold a quiet appreciation for you. Even though things between us didn’t unfold the way I hoped, I understand now that not everything is meant to last — and that’s okay.

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting, wondering if I could have done more, or if I could have understood you better. But deep down, I know I tried with an open heart and everything that I was made of. I wanted us to work because I saw the good in you, and I believed in what we could have had.

I realize now that we were both carrying things we couldn’t fully share, and maybe neither of us had the answers at the time. And that’s not something to hold resentment over — it’s just life, unfolding the way it does.

So, I’m choosing to let go with love. I’m not letting go because I stopped caring or loving — I’m letting go because I care about my own peace, my own healing, and my future. I hope that you, too, find what brings you peace and happiness, and a love that makes you feel whole, wherever your path leads. And, if you already found it - Never let it go. Protect it with everything you’ve got.

Thank you for the memories, for the moments of closeness, and for the lessons. You will always be a part of my story, and I wish you nothing but the best.

Take care.

I’m mainly venting but I’m starting to come to the realization that my ex was a scammer.

We broke up like 5 years ago and I reached out a year after we broke up. Basically I was accepting any bread crumbs he could give me.

3 years post break up he said he needed money. I was like ok. He lost his job needed to pay rent, his car, and his father’s illness. I don’t mind helping when I can for people. I don’t lend out more money than I need. But what I can’t get over was that he lied to me about the reasons. We’ve kept in regular contact since 2022. And I’ve given him money whenever he said he needed something because he was struggling. Most of the flirting was from me and he never shut it down and always reassured me I wasn’t bothering him.

Two days agoI remember his reddit name — I knew I was crossing a lot of boundaries and invading his privacy but I did it anyways. I googled his reddit just to find out has a girlfriend, a girlfriend of 2 years.

I find a post on reddit relationship. About her and he lies a lot in his post. He lies about this girl a lot and makes himself seem innocent with his female friends and how she can’t handle it. Like seriously? These women he chooses to keep around flirting with him giving them the slightest hope (talking about me as well) . Who he privately and openly flirts with. He says he hasn’t been in contact with anyone he has had a relationship with in over 4 years. Everyone in the comment section is bashing this poor girl calling her immature. Unable to tolerate these female friends. It’s not about having female friends it’s how you go about treating them like they are future option.

Why are you dating so many women that have issues with all of your female friends? How is it your asexual demisexual whatever and needs constant female attention.

And in this same post he talks about how honest he is, and open he is. The same shit he feed me in 2020. I went to therapy started a bunch of medications because I had a horrible reaction when I dated him. Never trusting him, being uncomfortable with all of his female friends he has, openly flirting, just for him to cheat on me anyways.

Now I’m starting to realize that he is a scammer. Nothing was ever wrong with his father, he never had issues paying the bills, etc. He just wanted money from me to show off to his new girlfriend.

He’s learned nothing. Doesn’t care to change for his new partner. Lies about how honest and open he is. Lies to get what he wants. Keeps me around to boost his ego.

I still love him. I still want to be there for him. But I said the opposite to him in a one last text message. This obsession has to end for me.

I creep myself out with how attached I kept myself to him.

i just saw this reel saying “when you end your long term relationship, nobody talks about how hard it is to stop updating that person about your life” and YES. IT’S SO HARD!!!! the thing is he was my bestfriend, we’ve been no contact for 3 weeks now and we broke up 4 months ago… i know it’s best to not text or call him but i just want to tbh i wanna tell him that i got a 3 week internship which is going pretty well up until now although im working like a dog for less than 2€/hr, i wanna tell him that i went on a day trip yesterday to the most beautiful place and the people next to me on the train took their shoes off and it smelled very funny and stinky and i wanna tell him that i got a good grade in an exam (gppo). i wanna ask him how he’s doing, how his job search is going, how he did on his exams and how he’s doing on the videogame he wanted to play, BUT I JUST CANT (well theoretically i could because i have free will but we’ll just end up being back in a vicious cycle of not being able to stop talking to each other). why can’t i just have my best friend back? the thing is i just really miss him, i miss my best friend and i really don’t have anyone with whom i share a same connection or even someone i would want to share all that with who would also like to hear me rambling. but alas, it is what it is. i hope he’s well and happy

She broke up with me very abruptly and to me out of nowhere wanting to take a long brake and work on ourselfs. I know she has an avoident-attachment style and sometimes really get the urdge to flee, we have kept in contact and she has always expressed the disire to rekindle the relationship and I wanted the same thing so I waited for 5 months mayby chasing her abit because of her constant hot and cold behaviour and me wanting real anwsers. Some days ago I got the News from a mutual freind that she has been sleeping with a 58 year old coworker under this time and at the same time calling me around valentines day crying and missing me and me reshoring her that im not seeing anyone else even if she said its ok if i do. I feel like my world is torn apart and im now back at square one healing I still love her but the last year she seems like a completly diffrent person and I don't really know what to do. I have confronted her about it, maybe a bit angerly and she confirmed it ,but said that everything she has said to me during these months where true. I don't know if am being silly but I think i Will have a hard time forgiving her but we have been tigether for 5 years 4 of them living together pplaning a future and I feel betrayed by her kicking me out of the apartment out of nowwhere and immediately starting a sexual relationship with a coworker she's been working with for 2 years. She seems like she having a lifecrisis and even her freinds say that she not behaving like herself pushing everyone away and is depressed. I still love her but I don't know if I love the person that she is right now. Is this something I can forgive or should I just move on?

Just one more time. We could go grab a beer, or if you're not drinking anymore, we could grab a coffee. I'll probably have one or two cigarettes, even though I haven't smoked since I saw you, but I'll be so anxious to see you again. Let’s talk about how we arrived and if there was any traffic, let’s talk about what shows we're watching and on which platforms, we’ll talk about our good years at college, about our shitty and unsatisfactory current jobs. Let’s talk about being disappointed millennials, about our childhood and our very fucked up families. We’ll talk about the new narcissistic colleague you have to deal with. We’ll talk about the old jokes we used to laugh and about and the awesome music we used to listen to. We'll talk about how your comedy career is going, about your dreams, about our dream job, our dream house, and our dream career, our dream life. Let's talk about life, death, philosophy and the meaning of life, like we used to do for hours.
Let’s talk about our mothers. Let's talk about all the great memories we have; let's talk about the bad parts of life too, like we used to. Let’s talk about all the pain and trauma we’ve endured. Let’s talk about things you love and hate. Let’s talk about your biggest fears. Let's just talk for hours until it's late and you have to leave. Let's talk until I realize this grief I feel is just love that has nowhere else to go because we don’t talk anymore.

After she came back last week and admitted all about how she felt: “I miss you”, “I’m frightened but perhaps it is worth it”, “If we tried to make it work then would still be forever”

I suggested we talk about it when she has some time etc, which she agreed to. I heard nothing for days and then after asking the question I’m now being told “I don’t know, maybe” “I wasn’t sure you wanted to hear it”

I also got threatened with her leaving and not coming back.

She gone the absolute opposite way again and cannot explain to me why.

I’m at a point now where I think I need to walk away cos I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. Do I just go silently or do I write her a letter and explain why?

I feel I have a lot to say.

We’ve been involved for 10.5 months. After he found the burner phone tied back to his friend, she didn’t know what she wanted. They separated, and we connected a short time later. She found out and went ballistic- willing to do “anything”. We fell in love hard. He waffled for a bit bc of their long history and 3 kids. 7.5 months ago he decided it was me - he’d be divorcing her and couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life making me happy. They sold the house, he moved out, started divorce / mediation, and just finally started to have some normalcy. 7 days ago he blindsided me with a reversal - he just can’t leave her, just can’t leave his kids, and never felt he really tried bc I was in the periphery (even tho we went no contact several times for him to work on things with her and “be sure”). I’m gutted and still can’t believe this is happening. I was 100% sure I found the one.

I don’t know what to do.. he blocked me on absolutely everything and I have no way to talk to him. I am having the hardest time eating. It takes me all day to get myself to eat and when I do force myself to eat, I feel disgusting and have to force myself not to puke. And I am so exhausted. I want to sleep but everytime I fall asleep, I am dreaming about him hurting me and then waking up every hour. How do I make this stop….

i feel like i’m stuck in the anger stage in a way. it’s been over a year since i was cheated on and left, and i feel like im constantly stuck in between the feeling of indifference and pure rage for what happened and how i felt. i feel like that’s hindering me from moving completely on and getting over it 100% but im not sure how to move past that phase. it just angers me so much how i can be lied to, disrespected and discarded like that. it’s so hard to move past all those feelings, especially when you know for a fact that the person is not sorry for what they did because in the end it got he what he wanted and my heart break was a simple means to an end for his ultimate goal of going where he really wanted.

i don’t wanna be angry, but i am. i feel like that situation changed me as a person. i used to be so sweet and bubbly, not to say im still not, but it’s definitely more dull of a light im shining now bc i dont trust anyone completely to be that bright again. i find myself being very blunt and not caring about others feelings as much, bc i feel as though they don’t care for mine deep down. i hate that about myself. i hate that i feel like i have to change how i show up in the world and to others bc of the fear of what they might do to me. i hate that i have to have this huge wall up, but i have to in a way. i CANT ever get myself into a situation where i cry like that again. my body honestly couldn’t take it. i’ll never weep like that again. ever.

I was loyal

I was honest

I wanted to talk things out with you

I was under the impression we had built something together

You felt like you were my partner in crime

I miss you so much

I want to call you but I don’t know if you would appreciate that

I don’t think you will ever let me in

What is too much to overcome?

Can we overcome it together?

Your feelings are valid

Yesterday was the last day of school… yeah he didn’t thank or respond to my thank you letter and insta storied bam he’s on a date with a girl.

I’m a Drama Major in college, an actress, singer, performer… I get more roles than a single man that wants to date me. Am I just not meant for love and “married” to the spotlight and performing instead? Should I just make my dreams come true how do I move on?

TL warning: suic*de

I'll start by saying that as far as I've tried to summarize, it's a bit of a long speech, cutting it any further would have affected the meaning. I'll add that I'm not used to writing personal things on Reddit and english is not my native language but I really need to get this out.

I was with my ex for 4 years, until February 2024. I'm 29M (almost 30) and she's 33F. Those were 4 years where we were always happy and we did a lot of things together. We shared a lot of interests: anime, video games, love for animals, volleyball. We were on the same amateur volleyball team and over the course of these 4 years her friends became mine too; I've never had many friends, in fact practically none, while with them I had found a group of emotionally intelligent, funny people and with whom, together with her, we met to role-play every weekend.

Then, during the last year together, things started to go bad. For a series of reasons related to our respective difficult situations at home, she no longer came to my house, and I no longer went to hers.

The problem was that she seemed to have simply accepted the fact that we could only see each other once a week, on weekends, and only at our (her) friends. The more I asked for a solution so that we could also make time for ourselves, the more she told me that, due to the situation at our homes, this was not possible. When I brought this up we would argue because I seemed insistent, and it seemed absurd to me that she considered a relationship based only on this.

This led to a vicious circle of frustration and arguments in which I looked for a way to be physically together and she would promptly distance herself.

Sex had disappeared. We went from doing it less and less, to doing it once every month and a half/two, until we didn't do it anymore from June 2023 until November 2023. It was as if after three years she had started to distance herself from me even though she hadn't done it completely. Little gestures of mine that once weren't a problem now bothered her.

She simply didn't seem to feel the need to spend time alone with me (before you say it, I assure there wasn’t someone else with her). We either saw each other at volleyball, or with her friends.

In November 2023, after yet another argument, we took a break during which we continued to see each other only as friends doing the usual things, that is, seeing each other at volleyball and on Saturday nights at our friends' houses.

During this break I thought a lot about the situation, and I was ready to change to start over for the better, but here comes February 2024 and she instead tells me that she didn't want to continue anymore, and that if I wanted, at most we could just stay friends, because being together as a couple made her feel bad.

This thing literally broke me and made me a shattered human being. I loved this girl and I still love her, I wanted to build a life and have children together.

I left the volleyball team and the group of friends because hearing or seeing her again made me feel too bad. I tried to make new acquaintances but as a 30M it’s not easy and even when I see other people I still think about her every damn minute.

I saw a psychologist every two weeks for a whole year, but it didn't help me. I understood the scars of my past that led to this, the “it’s not her, but what here represents to you”, but the obsession remains still. The summary of what emerged from the psychotherapist is that because of the abandonment I suffered in my family when I was little (my mother literally abandoned me to run away with another man when I was 11 and my father was always away for work, I had to learn to survive on my own from that age and spent an insane amount of time in complete loneliness), this person triggered a very strong emotional dependence that for a year now has literally been consuming me inside and has made me sink into a very strong depression (there are entire days when I can't get out of bed).

If I see a photo of hers on ig or dream about her, it's like they're clawing at my stomach, I panic, I feel like throwing up and I'm overcome by an anguish that's too great to bear.

I know I shouldn't check her on social media, but I can't not do it, it's an impulse stronger than me. It's as if everything in my mind revolves around this person and I dream about her every night. I also specify, so that no one thinks badly, that I don't stalk her in the slightest in real life, on the contrary: I'm afraid of running into her and I avoid areas where I know I could stumble upon her.

And so here I am, for a year I've done nothing but work, go home, go to bed. I do nothing but think about what I could have done better to prevent her from leaving me. I'm eating without regulation and I stay in bed all day. I finish work (I work remotely), I throw myself on the bed, I stare at the PC until late at night and a new day begins like this, continuously, since February 2024. I am 30 years old I feel completely finished. I really have no prospects.

I recently saw that he is seeing someone else and this thing hurt me like a second dumping, making things even worse.

I almost feel ridiculous writing all this after a year since the dumping, but for me this pain that has already killed me inside and makes me continue to do what I do like a purposeless shell burns me like the first day and I just can’t over this nightmarish obsession I have for them.

I just want to kill myself, I can't live like this anymore. I would like to do it by hanging myself, and if I haven't done it yet it's only because of fear.

I swear this happened every time …. :( I think I’m cursed lol

We broke up yesterday and it is the most gut wrenching and painful experience of my life. I mean, the fact that I will never be able to speak to her again and it is completely my fault. If I knew that this would’ve been the last time I’d ever talk to you again I would’ve cherished our conversations a little more than usual. It’s hard not reaching out and I know I can’t anymore cause she blocked me on everything but I just can’t stop thinking that maybe if we had sat down together and talked things through one last time I would still be talking to her. I wish I just stayed quiet when we called yesterday and just enjoyed your presence a little bit longer. A part of me hopes that you’d come back but I know that’s not the case. I don’t know why I’m writing this tbh or even posting this on here. I guess it’s a way for me to say all the things that plays in my mind without actually telling her.

I can’t seem to do anything, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and all I seem to know how to do is cry. It hurts to know that she has probably deleted all photos of me and has erased me out of her life completely. I’m unable to do the same and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to delete these photos of her.

Then suddenly, poof. I haven’t cried yet. I know the pain is too great to even feel, too great to endure when time must still pass. I’m afraid for when the tears do come; I fear they will never stop.

Why did you say you loved me with an intensity you’ve never known possible? Why did you say you loved me at all? I guess our definitions of love differ. My love was boundless and fierce, unadulterated and pure, certain and proud.

All those plans… now the future is a dense haze. Is there anything even under my feet? Tentatively, I must walk, before I run out of air I cannot remain in this absence. I am blind, groping, grasping for purchase stumbling forward on unfamiliar terrain when I swear, I swear I was just on a path. Or was I? Were we? How did I get lost? You were just here…

My ex (24) and I (25) had an agreement but I want to be selfish, lash out at my ex, and cut them off.

My ex and I broke up due to their depression. When their depression reached its peak, they deleted all their socials and ghosted me and every one of their friends. A month after they ghosted, they reached out to me and their best friend saying that they'll make up for ghosting once they start feeling better. Two months later, I was finally able to get in touch with them irl. I was the first person they've seen or talked to within their circle ever since they started ghosting. They said they feel so horrible because their life was headed nowhere and at this point, they probably don't have anyone to go back to (which was amplified when their best friend didn't reply when my ex reached out). We broke up then and there because we both realized that they really needed the time and space to process and get through their depression and they're not in a place to be in a relationship right now. The breakup was mutual.

We stayed as friends and agreed that once they're better they would reach out to me (because she's still NC with everyone including me). I wanted them to know and feel that there's at least someone they can go back to. For me, I love her that much and I want to keep the door open just in case fate decides to get us back together after sometime of being friends again. I didn't tell them this part (because it's selfish on my part and didn't want them to feel pressured or anything) but another reason I kept the door open was so they could make up for ghosting (like they said they would). It's selfish I know. I have a trauma with ghosting and broken promises.

To clarify: They wanted to stay as friends but understood if I didn't want to. While we agreed that they'd reach out to me when they're better, there's no guarantee or promise that we would get back together but they said that they're open to it.

This is the first relationship I've had where it ended because of circumstance. My previous relationships ended because of compatibility issues or my exes being horrible. It sucks that depression took away my ex from me and our friends. We were friends to lovers so we share the same social circles. I know that my ex's love was genuine and that they wouldn't have left if it weren't for all of this. They're not the type to date casually because they want their partner to be someone they can see a future with. I was their first relationship and we were planning our plans and futures of settling down. We both thought that each other was "the one". The entire relationship was smooth until they got depressed. Whenever we had an issue, it was always an "us vs the problem". When they started ghosting people (I didn't know they were ghosting people already), they even held out for me for two months before they ghosted me also. All of these show how serious my ex takes relationships (though I feel like that might just be me coping). That's why I didn't lash out on them because while them ghosting was an absolute dick move, a part of me still understood that it was (mostly) the depression that did all that. I know that they didn't do any of these because of personal reasons.

Now my ex wasn't perfect and I don't want to put them on a pedestal. I wish they communicated their problems more rather than me being blindsided by their ghosting. Ghosting is not a good thing to do whether its your friends and your partner. I know that just because someone is depressed, it's not an excuse for your horrible actions. I guess I just relate and know what they're going through right now (I suffered from chronic depression before).

A part of me is still waiting but I'm mostly moving on. It's like I'm open to having my ex back if they put in the work but I'm not closing the door if I find someone else. Admittedly, I consider my ex my greatest love and I don't think that it would ever go away- and that scares me because I know I would be settling if I went to another relationship and that's not something I want to put another person through. But at the same time, I don't want to be alone forever.

I know for a fact that it's stupid to wait, no matter how little of me is waiting. And I've recently realized that it might take my ex years to actually get better. While I do trust that they'll reach out to me once they've gotten out of depression, a part of me is afraid that they won't feel the same love they had for me before all of this. Or maybe they will still feel the same love but would be too guilty and afraid to continue the relationship? Or maybe they'll just think that since this is their first relationship, it was stupid for them to think that we would end up together? I want to lash out to try and save myself from all that pain. So at least I could feel better about myself that my pride managed to let it all out. But at the same time, I want to keep the door open because I love them that much.

So... right now should I just be selfish, lash out on them for ghosting and going back on their word, and then cut them off? Make them know what it feels like for someone to take back their word. Or should I let love and kindness persevere regardless of my fears?

Ever had somebody come into your life on your heartbroken and all your love just move from your ex to this new person?

And on top of that you fall for some jail talk from this new person? When she claims that she’s gonna be a real girlfriend and she’s really gonna try and she’s not gonna be how she was and fall for that too?

And I’ve never had life throw me two curveballs back to back like this. I’m sitting here thinking what the fuck did I do to deserve this? I’m not perfect, but I’m pretty sure I’m a damn good person. Always putting others before me helping others whenever I can shit even when I can, I help others Before my needs.

You know I’m just trying to be a good human godly person bring the smiles and in blessings to the world so why the fuck do I feel like I’m dealt a shitty hand

i was recently in a one month relationship . i think he love bombed me . everything was going so well up until he broke up with me . i obviously went back to read our messages and i couldn’t believe i didn’t see the signs sooner . what i thought was going “well” was actually hard to read. it wasn’t so terrible,however i can see how we needed to talk about things . i recently sent him a long paragraph explaining and portraying my feelings . he didn’t even read it or see it, which was fairly expected. he didn’t give me much clarity and instead used his family member as an “excuse”to break up with me , and he told me he needed time and space . i went a week without texting him after that ,but i just couldn’t wait any longer to share my feelings. i won’t text him again ,however i do have to see him next month for an event that im supposed to go to.

my point of this entire post,is how do i get over it. and no i don’t want the cliche “focus on yourself” narrative . i’ve tried and everyday i wake up to a new memory of me and him . it’s also very important to note that he was my first “real” boyfriend. he took me out on dates,met his parents,slept over at his house, he asked me out with flowers and he did all the silly details that a man can do when he’s getting to know someone . i need the BEST advice to get over this person . like i truly need something that was so insanely powerful it made you get over that person in an instant (maybe not in an instant but i believe you follow) i need something so insanely real or just to get clarity to get over him

I think my boyfriends going to dump me... I couldn't handle the distance between us and he couldn't handle my hormones... I'll find out tomorrow how dumped I am 😭

We started dating in july 2023 and official in august 2023. He started cheating in sept-dec as far as i know. He texted three girls and linked up with one. Idk how many times he keeps lying. We broke up for a week in jan 2025 (unrelated reasons, but it had to do with him keeping secrets) and the next day he texted her and the next five days he saw her again. He broke up with me bc he couldnt handle me screaming and crying about it. This was 3 weeks ago. He recently tried working it out with me, claims i begged to work it out (i didnt i begged for accountability and closure) and yesterday i needed alone time when we were supposed to hang out and he harrassed me for it, saying that im just making him feel guilty on purposed when i genuinely was feeling so depressed i just wanted to be by myself. So he broke up with me again and blocked me on everything. Sometimes he takes accountability but sometimes he blames me. He said he cheated bc im toxic. But he couldve just ended it with me instead of cheating on me. He even texted me from her bathroom. For the record, what he claims is toxic is that i asked him to plan dates, unfollow certain girls on instagram, and buy me a birthday present…which he would blow into a huge fight and say im asking for too much when i even tried breaking up with him a few times bc he couldnt follow boundaries i had. and the best part is one of the girls he followed on instagram, he texted her to try to cheat on me with her, so i was literally right. I saw her name on his phone a few times throughout our relationship, but he would lie about it saying its a coworker and refused to let me read their messages. He said its emotional cheating so it doesnt count but their messages were extremely sexual and he even asked to see her in lingerie. I doubt it was only emotional. He also had a raging porn addiction and was always looking at half naked girls on instagram. He also owes me about $800. Yet he continues to play victim. He wont let me talk about it or let me have any closure. Any advice on how to move on after feeling this betrayal?

i had a dream about him last night and in the dream he said he didnt know how i felt and he felt the same and i feel like thars a sign but i just cant get over the feeling .. i want to .. i want to leave something for him idk i want to see him

We've been friends since the 6th grade (both 28 now) and we knew we liked eachother but I moved around alot as a kid. I finally moved back to our hometown after highschool in 2015 and we started dating and everything felt like it had fallen into place and that we were meant to be. We moved out of state together and have been living together since 2018. I proposed to her in 2023 and she said yes. I thought I'd never lose her. She left me last week. Said she needed to be alone to find herself again. Said she felt like she was living in my universe. Looking back I should of taken more to her interests even though it wasnt something i was interested in. I got in a rut and got complacent and she wanted more than what we had. She wanted me to take a leap of faith in my career and find something i wanted to do. The day she told me she didn't know what she wanted anymore it snapped me out of my rut. I got a better job, i started therapy, im looking into school again. She said she was proud of all the steps I was taking but It was too late. I was too late. She said she bottled all her true feeling up because she didnt want them to be real. She thought they would just go away. She never came and talked to me about her true feelings. She lost that spark and maybe so did I a little in that time but I still loved her. She said she didn't want to lose me or not talk anymore. She said she still loves me, she's just not in love with me anymore. Says I'll always be in her life no matter what and truly believes if we can take this time apart to work on ourselves we'll come back stronger than before and that she'll never say never and if it's meant to be it will be. But she told me she dosent want to hang out anymore for a little bit. Neither of us has made peace with everything and seeing eachother only makes the healing process slower. We'll still text eachother updates on how we're doing here and there but there's no timeline on when we'll see eachother again. I'm just struggling with everything. I keep looking back and seeing all the mistakes I made and all the stuff I should of done. I'm just heartbroken. I did it to myself. I know it's my fault. I don't know what to do.

On a school trip to DC and we got paired with another high school we would talk but she had a boyfriend so I obviously never asked for her snap and i’m positive i’ll never see her again since we live on different sides of the country lol. Idk we would just talk and she was beautiful I was kinda hoping she would just ask me for my snap or something now i’m just all regret