Malicious compliance in response to weaponized incompetence

[u/snickerdoodlesrule]

Okay, I’m new to the page! I want to hear all of your stories or moments of malicious compliance in marriage.

Mine is when I asked my husband to move money from another shared bank account to our checking for bills. You guessed it, he didn’t move the money. This was the 3rd time that he “forgot about it” and I was tired of asking. I watched our checking account go into the negatives/ with overdraft fees. I confronted him and he said that I didn’t tell him which account, but we only have one main account for both of us to pay bills from. The account is connected to our debit cards!

The next day he went for lunch at chipotle. As he was checking out he realized that he didn’t have cash or money on his debit card. He called me at least 5 times asking me to transfer money, since I was near the bank that day. I did transfer money, but not to the account with the debit card, because he didn’t say which account 😉

We haven’t had any problems with him transferring money, since.

Edit: We share all of our bank accounts. I crunch the numbers and can’t always be responsible for budgeting and going to the bank/ doing transfers!

[u/Enough-Whereas-2377]

Stupid is as stupid does, I guess.

[u/snickerdoodlesrule → u/Enough-Whereas-2377]

Yes, I’m stupid for expecting my partner to hold equal responsibilities in my marriage. I love the expectation that women are to do everything and when things don’t go well we are blamed for failure of said things.

Kindness goes a long way 🩷

[u/Enough-Whereas-2377 → u/snickerdoodlesrule]

Sure, I’m being sexiest, lmao!! If you were a man, I’d say the same thing. A simple, “We’re about to go into the negative if you don’t transfer money.” or “Crap! We’re in the negative, you need to transfer it now, like I’ve told you 4 times already.” Sitting and watching bank fees pile up is just not logical, imo. But I guess if you’re made of money, why should you worry about little things like that. This is willful ignorance, not malicious compliance.

[u/Gamyeon → u/Enough-Whereas-2377]

She literally told him about it:

I watched our checking account go into the negatives/ with overdraft fees. I confronted him and he said that I didn’t tell him which account, but we only have one main account for both of us to pay bills from.

It's not just having to be responsible to remind him constantly, it's the weak excuse he gave her that he didn't know which account.

It still shouldn't have been her responsibility to be the panic alarm for him because he couldn't be bothered to do the transfer until it actually inconvenienced him.